Tonya straightened in mild alarm. But Ilka just smiled again.
“The hazard of having boys.”
Tonya offered a tentative smile.
“I’ll be in the library for a bit if you need anything,” Ilka said.
“Thank you.” Tonya rubbed a hand over her sleeve again.
“I didn’t think I’d be grateful for this ice, but it got him to come home again for the first time in a long while, so maybe I’ll be thanking you.” Ilka rested a hand against her stomach. “Good night, Tonya.”
“Good night,” Tonya murmured as she left.
The Hold lapsed into silence, only the occasional creak of the pipe or deeper snap of the fire breaking the quiet. Despite the fatigue covering her, Tonya’s eyes refused to fall heavier towards sleep.
Eventually, the scrape of a door opening and closing at the end of the hall announced that Ilka had gone to bed. Tonya rubbed her eyes, sliding her feet down to touch the floor. She sighed, not sure why she was still up. Her mind wasn’t even thinking of anything important, just staring at the fire that still burned, sending out a comfortable warmth that seemed to stretch into every corner of the house.
The heavier creak of the main door sounded. One set of footsteps briefly paused before the door next to the guest room closed. Endre.
Tonya leaned forward, her hands gripping the edge of the seat, listening for Dorian. A full minute later the door closed again, and his even tread approached.
She suddenly wished that she’d gone to bed. She’d be plainly visible in the light from the fire and the cylinders that still glowed softly. Her cheeks burned a little hotter as he paused by his door.
He stepped out of the shadows of the hall, solidifying back into his normal form that was all quiet edges. A bit of relief nudged her heart at the absence of any bruising or blood on his face after Ilka’s prediction.
“Still up?” He didn’t seem to quite know what to do with his hands. But his shoulders sloped into a more relaxed position, and his smile rested closer to the surface.
“Not tired yet, somehow.” She shrugged, tucking her own hands into her lap.
“Wait there.” He went into the kitchen. She drew up her legs to sit cross-legged on the bench, not about to leave for all the magic in the ocean.
He returned a few minutes later, carrying two steaming mugs. She gingerly took one from him as he sat beside her.
A creamy drink filled the mug, a dusting of something sweet-smelling floating on top. She took a cautious sip, sighing as it slid smoothly down her throat.
His eyes crinkled at the corners as he sipped at his own drink. She settled back against the cushions. He followed her stare to the fire, and they sat in companionable silence, savoring the beverage.
“Is everything all right with you and Endre?” She cautiously asked the question burning in her throat since he’d walked in.
He slowly rotated his mug in his hands. “I think it’s finally starting to be.”
He drank again, wiping the corner of his mouth with a thumb. “August is right. I haven’t left the war behind. It still has a hold on me that I can’t shake. And I let it come between me and a lot of people.”
Dorian shook himself as if embarrassed at having spoken that much.
Tonya traced the curling handle of her cup. “We heard some of what happened in the ocean. The Reef Guard kept scouts along the coastlines, making sure that our waters wouldn’t be touched. There were some that wanted us to get involved, but the king refused. And I’m glad he did, because it seems like the war still snares around everyone and everything like a strangling eel.”
Dorian’s chest rose and fell in a huff of a laugh. “That’s true enough. Nothing like it had ever happened before and I pray that it never does again. But Endre’s anger at me is for more than not coming home for the last few years.”
He shook his head. “I’m sorry. You don’t want to hear about this. We don’t really know each other that well, do we?”
Tonya bit back a quick wish that she did know him that well. She shrugged a shoulder instead. “Does it help to talk about it?”
He tilted his head enough to regard her from the corner of his eye. “It does a little.”
She took another sip, the warmth of the creamy drink spreading all the way down to her toes. “How’s your arm?”
He held out his left hand, spreading his fingers. The swelling had already reduced, and the bruising was not as noticeable.
“Already better. I told you.” A gentle tease entered his voice.
“How do you do it?”
He raised an eyebrow. “Heal?”
She nodded.
“I suppose it’s like any other magic. You just have to find the right words.”
“That’s very helpful,” she commented into her cup.
His huff of a chuckle came again. “What makes sense to me doesn’t always make sense to others.”
She reached over and nudged his arm. “I didn’t say it doesn’t make sense. I was just expecting a long and lyrical explanation.”
His eyebrow nearly disappeared under his hair. “Long and lyrical? From me?”
Tonya nearly snorted her drink through her nose. “You’re right. What was I thinking?” She wiped her mouth.
His smile stretched across his face as he took another drink.
“What about your magic?” he asked. “How do you do it?”
Tonya rubbed her thumbs over the gentle curve of the mug. “You mean the little bit I can barely squeeze by the warding spells?”
This time he touched her arm in response to the bitterness in her voice. She turned her head to stare at him. He looked back, seriousness in his face and open curiosity around his eyes.
She hesitated. She’d never tried to explain it to anyone. No one had cared enough to really ask her about her magic.
“It’s like I have to wait until I hear it whisper to me and then I can whisper back. If that doesn’t sound silly?”
“No,” he said simply. “Does it feel different when you use either kind?”
This time the curiosity leaked out into his voice.
She sat back to better look at him.
“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to offend. I just find it fascinating.”
She tilted her head in confusion.
“But not in a bad way, or…” he began stammering and a flicker of amusement tickled her chest, finally breaking out in a giggle.
He rolled his eyes.
“You don’t think having two kinds of magic makes me some kind of—freak—or anything?”
His eyes widened. “Why would I think that?”
“Well, because I’m…”
She focused on the rearing horse on the opposite wall. Some in the reef didn’t care about her magics. Others made no bones about the fact they found it offensive she even existed. Those were the ones who made the worst comments about her parents, some going so far as to call her mother a traitor to all faery kind for marrying outside her magic.
Very, very few found it interesting that she held two magics inside her, no matter how poorly she could use them. But none had ever tried to help her like Dorian.
His gentle touch on her arm brought her back. She stared at his hand for a moment before raising her eyes to meet his.
“Ocean magic feels smooth, flowing. Like the swell of a tide or the brush of a sea breeze. Ice magic tingles and nips. Though I don’t remember what it felt like when all the ice burst from me.”
“It’s a little amazing that it all came from you.” But his voice held no bite.
Tonya scoffed a little. “Amazing or confusing that the girl with barely any magic could have made something like it?”
He frowned. “You have plenty of magic. The warding is just blocking it, trying to protect you.”
A sigh brushed past Tonya’s lips. “But why’d they have to ward me? Why couldn’t they have just outrun whatever was chasing them and kept me?”
The words slipped out before she
could stop them.
His hand wrapped around hers and she squeezed his fingers, blinking away the sting in her eyes.
She cleared her throat.
“Sorry.” She moved her hand, but he still held it. He released her slowly. She tucked her hand back into her lap, skin suddenly cold.
“If it helps at all, the way the warding feels, they poured as much love and protection as they could into their spells.”
Tonya pressed her fingers over her eyes for a long moment. Even with Kostis’s reassurance that her parents had loved each other, the doubt that had been present over her entire seventy years wasn’t so easily banished.
“Thank you,” she whispered. “I’ve never known them, so I don’t know why it affects me so much.”
“They’re your parents,” Dorian stated. “They should always be there to protect and look after you.”
Familiar hurt tinged his voice. This time he stared at the opposite wall, jaw tensed hard for a moment. Her heart twisted at the memory of the empty seat at the table and the way they didn’t look at it.
Tonya searched for a way to break the sudden silence and bring both their minds away from the painful topic.
“Did you really mean you’d keep helping me use my magic?”
He shook himself slightly and focused back on her, the smile returning to the corners of his eyes.
“I’m just a little nervous that if we can get the warding removed, my magic won’t know what to do with itself and just…” She lifted her hands helplessly.
“I’m happy to,” he said. “And I don’t think your magic will just burst out of you. It just needs you to help it sort itself out.”
“You make it sound so easy.” She rubbed her hands.
What would it feel like to have instant access to both her magics without having to coax it past the warding? What would it be like to call to the tides and fly on a blizzard’s breath? Except I can’t fly.
He shrugged. “I just believe that you can.”
She had to clear her throat again. Even Sophie hadn’t stated that level of belief in her before the freeze. She drank the last of her beverage to hide the way her eyes blinked in rapid succession.
“I think I’ll head to bed now. We have a long day again tomorrow.” She pushed a smile to her face as she stood.
Dorian seemed to understand and took her mug from her.
“See you in the morning, then.”
She nodded and retreated to the hallway, pausing to look back at Dorian. He hadn’t moved yet. Her heart flip-flopped in her chest.
“Thank you.” She hoped that he knew why.
He tipped his head. “You’re welcome.”
She slid the door to her room open as quietly as she could to avoid waking Diane. All the lights had gone out except for one by her bed that had dimmed to almost nothing, as if waiting for her.
She wriggled out of the dress, changing to her more comforting woven shirt and trousers, suddenly needing a little reminder of the only home she’d ever known. The light winked out as she lay down and pulled the blankets over herself. She curled her hand against her chest, the warmth from Dorian’s hand returning as she fell asleep.
Chapter Seventeen
Diane stretched under the soft woven blankets, squeezing her eyes shut to deny one final time that she was truly awake.
I had no idea how much I’d miss sleeping in a real bed.
She peeled one eye open. The soft light was back. It startled her the night before when they’d dimmed all on their own as she’d gotten into bed. Tonya slept, curled on her side in the opposite bed, burrowed in a pile of blankets.
In the absence of natural light in the room, Diane had no idea what time of day it was. But she felt refreshed enough to have slept through the entire night. And hopefully not too late into the morning.
Although I think we’d have been woken up if it was too late. Unless the boys had similarly overslept.
She sat up, pushing the blankets away with a reluctant sigh. Thinking of the boys reminded her of the chilliest dinner she’d been part of in a long time. I hope the mood has thawed for breakfast.
Her movement woke Tonya, who stirred and blinked owlishly.
“Morning!” Diane said cheerfully.
Tonya rubbed her eyes and nose, looking a little offended at the brightness of her tone. “Can we stay in bed forever?”
Diane laughed, and a smile peeked out from Tonya. “I wish. But I need food.”
That brought Tonya sitting up. “How’s your leg?”
Diane swung her legs over the edge of the bed. Her shift fell to her knees, exposing the bandage winding about her lower leg. No blood stains peeked through, and the constant throbbing from yesterday had completely abated.
She gingerly set her toes on the tile floor, expecting a chill like the floors back home, but a faint warmth lingered. It gave her the courage to stand up. Her leg held steady beneath her and only a slight twinge of pain shot up her calf.
“Much better. I guess Dorian knows what he’s doing after all.”
Tonya nodded, a thoughtful little smile curling about her lips. Diane lifted an eyebrow in interest and filed it away for later. What happened after I went to bed?
Tonya hopped out of bed, straightening her loose tunic and fitted trousers.
“Is this all right to wear for breakfast?” she asked a little doubtfully.
Diane unpacked her spare set of trousers and travel dress and began to change, leaving the right trouser leg rolled up above the bandage.
“I have no idea what Durnean faery propriety says, but I suppose it might be. It’s what you’d wear in the ocean, correct?”
Tonya’s face cleared in relief. “I’ve just never really worn dresses before. The skirts get in the way in the water.”
She tipped a glance over at Diane, as if afraid of offending her.
But Diane saw the practical appeal of just wearing trousers and a shirt and avoiding the extra material of a skirt altogether.
“I’d imagine so. I did consider asking to borrow some of Edmund’s shirts.” She slid the travel dress overhead, the skirts settling comfortably around her knees.
Tonya pulled out a white bone comb and began running it through her hair. She gathered the long strands and began twisting it, gathering it up behind her head, and tucking it into place with whalebone pins.
Diane watched jealously as the hair didn’t immediately come tumbling down. Instead, it looked almost pleased with the new arrangement. She plaited her own hair in a long braid, not having the patience or skill of Matilde to redo the crown braid again.
“Do you think I can leave my boots off until Dorian looks at my leg again?”
A hopeful expression creased Tonya’s face. “I won’t wear mine either, if that makes you feel better?”
Diane giggled. “Don’t like shoes, do you?”
Tonya shook her head with a grimace. “We don’t really need them in the ocean. Only the Reef Guard wear light boots for their uniforms and for protection if they have to go fight.”
“Unfortunately, they’re routinely useful on land. Hopefully we won’t offend everyone by not wearing them just yet.”
Diane couldn’t quite bring herself to stuff her feet back into boots. Back home, if she had a few hours of privacy, she’d shuck her shoes and go barefoot to Matilde’s eternal dismay. She hadn’t realized how much she’d missed the bits of freedom throughout the day.
Tonya gave a sunny smile and waltzed to the door, looking ridiculously pleased for having gotten out of wearing shoes. Diane grinned as they retraced their way to the kitchen.
August and Dorian were already up and eating at the table, talking almost conversationally. Ilka turned from the stove.
“I was just wondering if I was going to have to come wake you two up.” She smiled, a more open sight than the night before.
Diane returned the smile, enjoying the feeling of being well-rested for the first time in days. And feeling more at ease in the faery Hol
d than she had the night before.
“We were contemplating how to try to stay in bed all day to avoid more walking.”
Ilka chuckled, a rich, low sound. Dorian gave a quick smile. If it’s been anything like home, I wonder how long it’s been since she’s really smiled?
“How’s your leg feeling this morning?” Ilka took down two plates.
“Still attached.” Diane stuck her foot out.
“I’ll look at it in a few minutes,” Dorian said.
“Breakfast first.” Ilka handed her and Tonya full plates and shooed them over to the table.
Fresh fruit, bacon, and more fried potatoes piled alongside flatcakes. August shoved a jar of honey towards them as they sat on opposite sides of the table from each other.
“Morning!” Tonya greeted them both with a smile that got a little brighter when she turned it to Dorian.
Diane spooned honey onto the cakes with interest. August caught her glance and smirked a little.
“What is this?” Tonya took the jar as Diane passed it over, tilting it to look at the amber liquid.
“Honey,” August said. “Trust me, just put it on the flatcakes.”
Tonya pursed her lips in mock suspicion, but dabbed a spoonful on her flatcake. Diane dug into her meal in unladylike haste. Her appetite had only grown with the miles they’d traveled. Tonya ate a small forkful of flatcake and her eyes widened appreciatively. She spooned more honey on and tucked in with impressive speed.
“I think we need to take you on a food-tasting tour of all three countries when we’re done, Tonya.” Diane smeared a strawberry through some stray honey. “It has occurred to me that we are missing out on so many opportunities.”
“Like what?” Tonya dabbed her mouth with a napkin.
“Fried apple cakes,” August said.
“Walnut pastry rolls,” Dorian supplied.
“Or savory roast goose and caramelized potatoes.” Diane sighed.
Ilka chuckled as she sat down with her own plate. “If you decide to come back this way, I’ll celebrate with a pot of paprikás.”
“I don’t know what that is, but it sounds amazing,” Diane said, fully prepared to call off a day of traveling to eat.
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