by R K Dreaming
“He’s not old,” said Aunt Adele in mild outrage. “I remember when he was a boy!”
“He’s not a boy anymore,” said Flaffy, looking like she didn’t want to offend Aunt Adele by saying decades had passed since Lebowski had been a boy.
Allegra caught my gaze and we both smiled at each other. Beachbum was a decade older than us and in his late forties. I supposed to Lily, who had just turned thirty, that this might seem a bit old.
Allegra and I however had first met Beachbum when we were in our teens and he was in his twenties. Even back then he had been intent on living a life of leisure, and had begun his much contested journey of turning one end of Brimstone Bay Beach into his own little beach-hut kingdom. Or “that filthy shack” as Granny Selma liked to call it.
“Wasn’t Beachbum harmless?” I said to Allegra.
She shrugged. “I haven’t seen him around much recently. I’m not really part of his crowd.”
Viv snorted. “Oh yeah? Are you sure Beachbum isn’t your mystery man?”
Allegra shot Viv a dirty look. “He’s more your type than mine,” she shot back.
“Bite your tongue,” said Aunt Adele. “I don’t want any of my grandnieces ending up with that beach bum. He’s definitely not your Prince Charming.”
Viv giggled. “Tell that to Allegra. She must be worried that her prince isn’t very charming if she is having to keep him hidden.”
“Didn’t I tell you there is no prince?” ground out Allegra.
“Here, why don’t you girls try a couple of my potion truffles?” said Aunt Adele, looking keen on heading off an argument. “I’ve been experimenting with them. They’re my latest invention.”
Aunt Adele handed out a box of gorgeous little truffles of pink, milk, and white chocolate. We all reached for one.
I chose a milk chocolate one, and when I bit into it I was surprised at the tingling rush of delight that ran through me.
“Ooh!” I said. “That reminds me of Allegra’s Bubblicious Bubbles. It’s yummy.”
Allegra had recently invented balloon-like bubbles of liquid chocolate that she had filled with different flavours of happiness infused air. They had proved very popular during their trial in our family’s Magicwild Market flagship store. Allegra had sent me some in the post.
Viv looked at Allegra thoughtfully. “Bubblicious bubbles… What an innovation. Gosh, I wonder what could have made you so inspired recently?”
Allegra groaned. “Why do you never let anything go?”
“Sisters,” said Aunt Adele, smiling fondly. “Oh how I’ve missed this.”
Viv had only been joking about Allegra and Beachbum of course.
Beachbum liked to hang out with what he called the fun loving crowd to keep his spirit young. His little beach-hut kingdom was a hotspot for chilled out beach-fire parties, were people brought their own food and booze, and their own musical instruments, and laughed and sang and danced late into the nights. This wasn’t Allegra’s scene any more.
Speaking of scenes, I frowned. “Isn’t Club Nocturne a bit upmarket for Beachbum’s taste? Are you sure it was him that you saw there with Lily?”
Viv shrugged. “Pretty sure. I was there with Coco. I can ask her.”
“You shouldn’t be hanging out so much with Coco,” said Allegra darkly.
“Chill out. She’s our cousin. Family first, remember?”
Allegra rolled her eyes. We all knew that Viv and Coco both had a little bit of a rascal in their souls and enjoyed each other’s company. If only they weren’t always drawn towards trouble together.
Allegra turned to me.
“I suppose it is possible Beachbum might have been at Club Nocturne. It’s owned by Oberon Maltei Senior. And you said that Lily and Oberon Junior were friends, so maybe she invited Beachbum there.”
Viv’s eyes lit up. “Let’s go and find Beachbum tomorrow,” she said. “We can make a day of it at the beach. How about picnic at lunchtime? We’ll lure him out with some of Aunt Adele’s cake. He won’t be able to resist.”
Aunt Adele looked very flattered.
“I’ll pack you a picnic basket,” she said, looking excited at the thought of what treats she was going to put in there for us.
“I can’t,” I said shortly.
“Why not?” Allegra demanded immediately.
Viv and Flaffy looked disappointed too.
“We haven’t been out for a day on the beach together forever,” Flaffy said longingly. “Oh please say yes, Esme!”
I shook my head. The thought of the burning midday sun made me cringe in horror, and I hoped it didn’t show on my face. I would wither away before their very eyes.
“I can’t,” I said. “We can’t question Beachbum anyway. You should have heard Chris Constantine going on at me like I was a suspect. And he was really mad when he saw me talking to the werewolf James. At this rate, he’s going to think that we’re deliberately trying to mess up his case.”
Viv snorted. “We should solve that case for Chief Raine and then rub it in Hawke Hardwick’s face. Let’s see how our new mayor likes that!”
“We should stay out of it,” said Flaffy, looking worried. “Granny wouldn’t like it.”
“Granny would love it,” said Viv. “She’ll be on the phone to The Daily Oracle right away letting them know what’s what.”
“And what good would that do?” said Allegra. It’s not like Mayor Blaze is going to reinstate Chief Raine.”
“I bet Chris Constantine is barking up the wrong tree with that Sugar Daddy clue,” said Viv. “I’d love to see his smug face when he realises that we know who Sugar Daddy is, and he’s been chasing after all of the rich guys in town and aggravating them for no reason.”
“He hasn’t got a smug face,” I said. And then flushed.
Viv looked at me with newfound interest. “Oh yeah? Has somebody else got a little crush that she wants to tell us about?”
“No I haven’t,” I said irritably.
“Leave her alone,” said Allegra. She turned to me. “We should go anyway. We’ll have a fun day out.”
I shook my head. “I can’t face it. It will probably be chilly and windy. And I’m just getting over a… a virus.”
“Okay,” said Allegra. “But we’ll definitely do one before you go home. Okay?”
I kind of did a half nod-shrug thing.
Because how was I supposed to tell her that if I didn’t find a cure, there was no way I’d be going to a beach picnic ever again?
7. The Case Of The Missing Cakes
The girls stayed late into the evening and had dinner with us before etherhopping away. I showed them out and watched them vanish into thin air enviously.
Allegra had stayed a moment longer than the others, to squeeze my hand tightly and whisper, “You be careful!” and given me a meaningful look. Only she knew about the last time I had secretly come to Brimstone Bay and gotten into such trouble.
“Such lovely girls,” said Aunt Adele, after Allegra went. She was looking thoroughly energised by all their conversation. “You will invite them over again soon, won’t you?” she asked anxiously.
“You know them now,” I said lightly. “You can invite them yourself. And if you think they won’t be coming back for some more of your cakes, then I think you’re very much mistaken.”
“Oh good! I’ve so missed having people to talk to about flaffiness recipes. I wanted to ask Allegra more about her Bubblicious Bubbles.”
“I’m sure she’ll tell you all about them,” I said. And then remembered something. “Aunt Adele, where were you earlier? We think somebody broke into the castle and upended all of the bins.”
“Upended the bins?” she said looking astonished. “Why in heavens would they want to do that?”
“I don’t know. You didn’t see anyone then?”
“I’d have chased them out with my broomstick if I had,” she said darkly.
I chuckled. “They’d have been as terrified as if you were one of
the seven ghosts of Black Tower.”
“Speaking of the Black Tower,” she said. “That’s where I was. They’re very excited about meeting you. You must go and say hello. It’s the custom, you know.”
I stared at her. “You want me to say hello to the ghosts? They’re expecting me?”
My voice had come out a little high pitched, and she laughed at my anxiety.
“You are going to love them, and I think they’ll love you too. In time. It can take them a while to warm to people. I had to try very hard when I first arrived. But they’re not as curmudgeonly as they like to make out.”
Curmudgeonly? I looked at her carefully to see if she was joking.
All my childhood I’d heard dastardly tales of the seven ghosts of the Black Tower, and I would very much prefer to go the rest of my life without meeting them. Unhappy ghosts could be very mean creatures, and if they took a dislike to you they would take joy in haunting you for the rest of your life. I didn’t need that hanging over me.
“Er, can I take your word for it? I’m not even planning to be here for that long.”
“Absolutely not,” she said. “You are the new owner of Mansion House, and you simply must meet the seven ghosts. There is no option. They will be very offended if you don’t.”
“Okay,” I said doubtfully. “But not tonight.”
“Lovely,” she said. “You have a good night dear. I’m off to bed.”
“Wait,” I said quickly. “Aren’t you worried about the intruder?”
“But nobody could have gotten into the castle, dear,” she said airily. “It was probably Greedy up to her usual mischief.”
“Who?”
“Greedy. She’s one of the ghosts. Or maybe Shouty put Wheezy up to it. She did seem in one of her miffs today. I wouldn’t be surprised. Sleep tight, dear.”
Before I could make sense of what she had said, she had floated up through the ceiling and disappeared from sight.
I took the dirty dishes through into the kitchen and washed them all up before going up to bed myself.
I had been lethargic all day, but now that night time had arrived I suddenly felt wide awake. It was very annoying.
I debated reading some of the magic books that I had bought from the library with me, but I knew that if I started on them now, I would be up reading all night. And I was determined, absolutely determined, to stick to a normal routine like a normal human being.
I would read the books tomorrow, after all I had to fill my day with something.
It was a long time before I managed to drop off.
* * *
Sometime in the middle of the night I woke with my heart pounding wildly. I’d had the most awful dream. Lily had been here, in my tower bedroom, screaming at me. She had been very upset, babbling wild things that I could no longer remember when my eyes opened. She had been pointing her broken wand at me.
I jerked awake, feeling terrible. If only her wand had not broken, then I wouldn’t feel so weighed down with this need to try to make it right somehow.
Somebody had killed her, and they were still out there alive, having fun.
I wondered if our new police chief Hawke Hardwick gave a damn. Lily’s friends might be the children of important people in town, but Lily herself had been a nobody. Did the new Chief of Police even care to get this case solved? The thought made me angry.
You can solve her murder if you want her to be at peace, said a voice.
I gave a little scream and sat bolt upright in bed.
Must you scream every time? said Captain Villain. It’s very tiresome.
There was a soft thump as he landed lightly on the foot of my bed.
I had closed my curtains very tightly to ensure no sunlight could slip in, and therefore it was very dark in my room. Captain Villain blended in so perfectly that I couldn’t see him at all, but I could feel him there, warm against my foot.
“Must you sneak up on me like that?” I said.
I’m a cat. I sneak everywhere.
“What are you doing here anyway?” I asked.
Keeping guard, he said.
“Keeping guard on what?”
On you.
“Me? What do I need guarding from?”
Well first of all there’s Lily. She’s very angry you know. Her body was left here, so the poor thing has been wondering around in confusion.
My throat went dry. I croaked, “Lily? She… But she…”
She hasn’t passed over, he said calmly. Her spirit is too angry.
“But she’s not a ghost. I haven’t seen her here,” I said.
Not a ghost yet, he said. And hopefully never one. You don’t need her hanging around here in addition to the other lot. They won’t like it. She doesn’t belong. Anyway, she doesn’t want to stay.
“How do you know?” I said. “Have you spoken to her?”
Not exactly. Sometimes I just hear these things. Much like you did just now.
“In my dream,” I said softly. “But that was just a dream.”
Or maybe you were half awake and listening to her.
“Must you be such an annoyingly mysterious know-it-all?”
How can I be both mysterious and a know it all?
“You know exactly how. And what’s secondly?”
What secondly?
“You know very well what secondly. You said firstly, which implies there must be a secondly.”
Ah yes, secondly… he said with amusement. And then refused to say any more.
The cheeky sod was waiting for me to grovel!
“Okay, fine, I’m sorry that I called you a know-it-all. Will you tell me now?”
I could swear that if he was human he would have chuckled at my expense.
But secondly, and rather more interestingly, there’s the man who was creeping about downstairs just now.
“What?”
I hastily scrambled out of bed.
Captain Villain gave a hiss. My throwing aside my duvet had disturbed his comfortable position.
There’s no point going after him, he said irritably. He’s long gone.
“Then why didn’t you wake me before?”
For what purpose? He was a wizard. You’d have been in more than a little bit of trouble if I had woken you up while he was still here.
“A wizard? Do you know who it was?”
Certainly.
“Don’t be annoying! Just tell me already. Please,” I added.
Pretty please with a cherry on top.
“Pretty please with prawns on top. I will even buy some for you.”
Ooh, I like the way she thinks.
“Well?”
Lorcan Hardwick.
“What?”
I saw him with my own two eyes. And I have excellent night vision you know.
He blinked his bright green eyes as if to demonstrate how wonderful they were.
“But why would he be here?” I gasped.
Gosh, he drawled. One would almost think your families didn’t share a centuries’ long enmity.
“That sneaky git!” I said. “So he is trying to scare me away from Mansion House! And he pretended to be so nice as well!”
He is nice, said Captain Villain. Fairly insipid, but nice. We’ve even hung out at Kitten Cove a couple of times.
“That just shows that you have terrible taste in people,” I said.
And yet here I am with you, he said.
“Very funny, Mr Smarty-Pants. And what use are those seven ghosts if they’re just going to let anyone in around here?”
I suppose they might not mind him, said Captain Villain. After all, he is family. He was always around here scoffing cakes in the café since he was a kid. And you haven’t even gone up to say hello to them yet. Perhaps they’re a little bit peeved.
“Are you sure he’s gone?” I said.
Are you sure I’m talking to you? he said.
I gave a grunt of annoyance. “If Lorcan Hardwick thinks he’s going to get away with this, he’s
got another think coming. I’m going to report him.”
You do that, he said. Now will you let me get some sleep?
* * *
Having Captain Villain stay with me was very reassuring, and I dropped off to sleep again not long afterwards. When I woke in the morning, he was gone. My bedroom door was firmly shut. I had no idea how he had gotten out.
I called the police station to let them know about the break-in. Given who their new chief was, I didn’t mention that I thought his cousin Lorcan Hardwick was responsible. They said they’d send an officer over to take a look around.
It was my misfortune that the officer they chose to send around was none other than Agent High and Mighty himself.
“No bodies in the garden this morning?” he said by way of greeting.
I scowled at him, and made an effort to drag my eyes away from admiring the way his pristine pale blue shirt fit so nicely over his broad shoulders. Stupid Hollywood shoulders.
They were the kind of shoulders that werewolves had so effortlessly. And yet Chris Constantine was a Humble. I remembered mooning over him as a teenager when he’d first landed his Captain Shield role in Hollywood. This news about a mere Humble had been worthy of making The Daily Oracle because he’d run off with a famous succubus. Their love affair had been the stuff of dreams. She’d defied her family for him. Oh what a dazzling fairy-tale romance! The sort that we Westbrim girls dreamed of.
And then she’d died so tragically.
Just the sort of thing our teenage Westbrim hearts had wept over.
I frowned. Except now it turned out Chris Constantine couldn’t be a Humble, otherwise he wouldn’t be here in a law-enforcement capacity in Brimstone Bay. Humbles did not know about magic.
“What are you anyway?” I said irritably.
He gave me a cool look. “We are not here to talk about me,” he said in a clipped voice. “I’m told you have a break-in to report?”
“Yes. Come in.”
It was difficult to describe the break-in to him, seeing as I hadn’t witnessed it myself. I found myself stumbling over the words, avoiding any mention of Captain Villain. It would have been easier if I’d been talking to an officer who wasn’t scowling at me in a disbelieving manner.