The thought fueled his steps as he walked through the house on the way to his bedroom. The glowing blue light from the television in the downstairs living area stopped him in his tracks. Ashiya sat on the couch with a glass of wine in her hand. She stared in the direction of the television, but she didn’t seem to be engaged with what was on screen. Her brows were drawn together, her body tense as if she would jump up at any second, while her fingers tapped the glass in her hand.
Thoughts of ignoring her vanished as he crossed the threshold into the room. “Ashiya? You okay?”
She blinked and jumped. When she looked at him, her eyes were confused and sad, before she focused on him and smiled as if he’d just made all her cares melt away. “Russell, where were you? I was worried.”
The concern in her voice drew him closer. Beckoned him to immediately tell her his exact whereabouts for the day. Ridiculous. He didn’t owe her an explanation.
He took a step closer. “I was out trying to follow up with people at the party my brother attended and checking in on some projects with Robidoux Holdings.” So much for not owing her an explanation.
“Oh, you’ve helped me so much, I forgot that you actually work for Elaina. Have you eaten? I ordered food.” She moved to stand.
Russell shook his head and held up a hand. “I did. Don’t worry about it.”
“Oh.” Her frown came back, and she sounded sad.
“I grabbed a sandwich at a deli while doing work before coming back here,” he explained.
She slid over on the couch and patted the seat. “No worries. Sit down.”
“I’m tired.” He pointed over his shoulder. “I was going to go take a shower and rest.”
“I called Jeanette from Lady Eyes Private Investigation. I told her about your case and how you’re trying to track people down. She said if you’re interested, she has an investigator or two she can put on the case. She’s the same one who helped my cousin Byron back when he needed to track down Zoe.”
Russell was both shocked and touched to find out she’d done that. “You called a private investigator for me?” Surprise made the words come out sharper than he’d intended.
She looked a little sheepish. “I hope I didn’t overstep my boundaries. That meeting with Bryce didn’t sit well with me. I know everyone who was at that party isn’t in the area. Jeanette and her investigators are good a tracking people down.”
He shook his head and softened his tone. “No, you didn’t overstep. I appreciate you giving her a call. I’d hired a private investigator a few years back, but he didn’t find out anything new. I felt like I’d wasted time and money.”
Ashiya gave him a thumbs-up. “Jeanette is the woman. If there’s something to find out, she’ll be the one to find it. I’ll send you her number. She’s expecting your call.”
She put down the wineglass and picked up her cell phone from the table. The strap of her tank top slid down her shoulder, revealing smooth, brown skin and a dark mark on her neck. A dark mark he’d left on her when he’d kissed, licked and sucked that delicious spot the night before. Instead of going to his room, Russell came around the couch and sat down next to her.
The sad look in her eye lessened the intensity of his frustration with her disappearing earlier that day. He’d get to the bottom of that, but first he wanted to know what was bothering her. “Why are you in here?”
“I’m watching television,” she said blithely. Her eyes were still on her cell. The light cast a blue glow on her soft features that made him want to trace his fingers over her cheeks and lips.
Russell glanced at the nearly silent television and back to Ashiya. “You can’t hear the television. Did everything go okay today?”
She put down the phone and gave him a tight smile. “It did. Levi was patient and accommodating, and he answered all my questions. He was even okay with me trailing along with him for lunch at his grandmother’s house.”
“Your Aunt Gertrude?”
“Yep,” she said, her smile turning genuine and her features becoming even more enchanting.
“Good.” Though he was happy for her getting to know her family, a hint of unease tightened his neck. “I guess if Levi is willing to help, you won’t need me to continue to stick around much longer.”
Her eyes widened, and her hand shot out to grip his arm. “Yes. I do need you. We still haven’t found the blackmailer.”
He suppressed the stupid grin that threatened to take over his face. She wanted him to stay. That eased some of the sting from the thought of her not wanting him around anymore. “How long do you think you’ll want me to stay?”
“Are you asking because you have work to do for Elaina? I’ll give her a call and explain. I’ll even say there may be a way for Legacy and Robidoux Holdings to partner on something and she’ll calm down.”
“There’s no need for that. I’ll stay and help as long as you feel you need it.”
Even though forming a future partnership between the Legacy Group and Robidoux Holdings was the reason Elaina asked him to come, Russell didn’t want to stay just for that. He’d already gone over the deep end and slept with her. His brain might not agree with his emotions about how wise it was to be with Ashiya again, but the choice was made. He only wanted to stick around if she wanted him there.
The smile on her face sent ripples through his midsection. “Really? Thank you, Russell.”
His cheeks heated. He was useless in the face of her admiration. “How did things go with your aunt at lunch?”
She nodded. “Really well. What Brianna said is true. My aunt wants to get the family back together after everyone drifted apart. Once I’m comfortable at the Legacy Group, I may work on that.”
“Do you really want to put a lot of effort in reuniting the family that ignored you for years?”
“That’s the thing, Aunt Gertrude said my mom blocked my grandmother’s attempts to get to know me.”
“Do you believe her?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know. My mom always talked about how my grandmother was being stubborn and trying to keep me from my legacy. I couldn’t imagine she would try to block her from knowing me.”
“What happened between them?” He knew there was a history that involved her dad, but she’d never gone into detail.
Ashiya picked up her glass of wine. She studied the contents for a second before taking a sip and speaking. “My mom married my dad right when the Legacy Group became a Fortune 500 company.” She said slowly. She glanced at him from the corner of her eye. When he continued to wait patiently, she kept talking. “My dad fell in love with her and thought they were a love match. It wasn’t until my grandmother cut him off from the company and any chance of inheriting anything that it came out my mom only married him because of the money.”
Russell cringed. “Oh...damn.”
Ashiya nodded and wrinkled her nose. “Yeah. It wasn’t the most fun time. When he found out, I think my mom had fallen in love with my dad, but it was too little, too late. The damage was done. Ever since, they stayed together for appearances and to raise me. My dad said he didn’t want me to grow up without a father, but with the way their marriage was, it wasn’t much different.”
“How so?”
“He traveled for work. A lot. He was often out of town, and when he was in town, they fought or ignored each other. I tried to play peacemaker. If they liked something I did or were both proud of an accomplishment, then I tried to keep it up. I wanted them to not have to worry about me. Grades, boyfriends, anything, as long as my parents were okay with it, then I was okay with it. They loved Stephen. He charmed my mom with his connections, and he was all buddy-buddy with my dad whenever he was in town. They both kept telling me to get married and settle down. I thought having Stephen and being in a steady relationship would mean they wouldn’t worry about me growing up lonely or alone.”
“What did they say when you two ultimately broke up?”
She chuckled darkly. “That’s the funny thing. They were indifferent. Daddy said as long as I’m happy he’s happy, and Mom said she never liked him and only put up with him because she knows I like to live life on my own terms. That’s when I really learned I had to stop living for my parents.”
The bitterness in her voice surprised him. On the outside, Ashiya and her parents seemed like the stable members of the Robidoux family. Now that he thought about it, he didn’t see her dad around except at occasional family events, and he didn’t stick around long. George and Elizabeth Waters put on a good show of being happy, and Ashiya, always the perky, happy and slightly mischievous member of the family, never seemed to show any hints of being unhappy.
She glanced up at him. “Do you know why I don’t like being alone in new places?”
He shook his head. He knew she didn’t like sleeping in strange places, but assumed it was like most people who were uncomfortable with unfamiliar surroundings. Admittedly her need for sleeping pills just to sleep in the house she inherited was still a surprise to him.
She downed the rest of her wine and took a deep breath. She put the glass on the table and faced him. “Because I was locked in a basement for an entire weekend when I was eleven.” She rushed on before he could ask a question. “My parents were fighting. We had to make an appearance at one of those home shows for a restored home. I arrived with my mom, but my dad was supposed to take me home. Mom wanted me to leave with her because Elaina had some recital or something the next day. They fought, and Mom thought Dad was taking me, and Dad thought he was doing right by letting Mom take me.” Her voice shook, and she wrapped her arms around herself. “One of the kids at the party locked me in the basement when we were playing hide-and-seek. I kept waiting for someone to find me, but I fell asleep. The kid didn’t tell anyone I was there, the house wasn’t occupied, and my parents didn’t realize neither had me until two days later.”
Russell slid across the couch and tried to pull her into his arms. “Ashiya.”
She shook her head. “It’s okay,” her voice trembled. She cleared her throat and spoke again in a steadier voice. “I mean, the situation was fucked up, but I’m okay. Okay enough that I can at least fall asleep in a strange place if I take sleeping pills. Still not so good with being alone in enclosed spaces, as you saw the other night in the kitchen.”
“I’m sorry.”
She rubbed her temples before running her fingers through her hair. “Yeah, me too. My mom blamed Dad. Dad blamed Mom. Neither admitted that they were too petty to check with the other one to make sure their child was safe. Which is why, as much as I don’t want to believe it, I could see my mom keeping my grandmother away from me out of spite.” More bitterness crept into her voice. Bitterness coated in sadness.
Russell rubbed his hand up and down her arm. The gesture was little comfort for knowing your parents’ fight and pride resulted in being trapped and alone for two days, but he didn’t know what else to do. He’d always assumed Ashiya being spoiled and doted on by her parents was one of the reasons she kept so much of herself locked away. Now he wondered if years of being rejected and sidelined by the very people who should have protected her made her wary of letting people close.
“Are you going to ask your mom about your grandmother reaching out to you?” he asked in a soft voice.
She threw up a hand. Her brows drew together. “Does it even matter anymore? I have the inheritance. I don’t have to rely on either of my parents for anything ever again. Why should I care what my mother’s reasons were?”
“The same reason you care that they let pettiness keep you trapped in the basement of a strange home for days. Even if they never apologize or acknowledge what they did, you have a right to let them know they hurt you. It’s okay to let them know how you feel.”
* * *
ASHIYA MET RUSSELL’S earnest gaze. Even if the hurt was unintentional or the blows weren’t meant for her, Ashiya was injured in her parent’s ongoing fight. She’d never once considered going to her parents with her grievances. That’s the way things were in her family. Everyone ignored or covered up the things that were unpleasant or unpretty. She hadn’t wanted to burden them further by letting them know how much their bickering, fighting and one-upmanship affected her.
“Telling them ruins everything,” she admitted.
“Ruins what?”
“The image that I’m strong and independent. That I’ve found my own way without being influenced by the demands of being a perfect member of the Robidoux family or letting my dad know him not being around hurt me just as much as it hurt my mom. I don’t want them to know that.”
Russell shifted forward and squeezed her arm. “Why not?” His voice wasn’t judgmental or accusatory, just curious and supportive.
“Because I don’t want to add to their guilt. They know. I can see it in their eyes whenever I walk into a room when they’re fighting. They both tried so hard to make things right after leaving me in that house for the weekend. I know that they know how upset I was, but talking about it forces us to admit our mistakes. Forces us to deal with the pain we’ve spent years avoiding.”
Russell’s hand slid down her arm. He laced their fingers together. “All I’m saying is that if you want an answer from your mom, go for it. Don’t feel bad about asking for a reason she kept you from your grandmother. Ask your dad why he allowed your mom to keep the feud going if he knew about it. You don’t have to feel guilty for doing either of those things. It’s okay to show them how you feel.”
Ashiya imagined having the difficult conversation with her family, and her stomach churned. Emotions, especially the messy ones, were not things she was comfortable with. Everything about her upbringing contradicted the idea that showing your true self helped any situation.
But when she looked into Russell’s eyes and saw the compassion reflected there, she wondered if she could open herself up to him. “What about you?” she asked. “Is it also okay to show you how I feel?”
He glanced away, and her heart sank. Her suspicions were confirmed with that avoidance of her gaze. He didn’t want to deal with all of her problems either.
Ashiya reached for her wineglass, then stood. “I need a refill. Do you want anything?” She walked to the door without waiting for an answer. She’d hoped the night before meant the start of a second chance. The doubts and concerns that drove her to leave the house early that morning rushed back. She’d almost forgotten her worry that he’d claim them being together again was a mistake.
Russell’s footsteps followed her into the kitchen. She went to the wine fridge and opened it. “I bought this new wine Brianna told me about. The winery owners are Black women, and the wine is really good. I’ll pour you a glass.”
Russell’s strong chest pressed into her back. The spicy scent of his cologne mixed with the delicious smell that only belonged to him wrapped around her. Heat spread deep in her midsection as his large body overshadowed her. His arms wrapped around her waist and hugged her close.
“Why did you leave me behind this morning?” His low, rumbling voice was like lighter fuel to the desire pulsing in her body.
“I had to get to work,” she said in a soft voice.
He pulled her tighter against him. “You work with me. Instead, you left me behind. I woke up and reached for you, and you weren’t there.”
She sucked in a breath. “You reached for me?”
His lips hovered right over her ear. “I never stopped reaching for you. The only difference is this time you were supposed to be there beside me.” His warm breath tickled her ear, sending goose bumps across her skin.
Ashiya bit her lower lip. “Why?” Hope squeezed and twisted her heart, extracting every ounce of anticipation from her in the one breathless word.
“Why what?”
“Why
did you never stop reaching for me?”
He didn’t answer. He kissed her ear before slowly running his tongue over the sensitive outer shell. “I wanted you beside me this morning.” The whispered confession was followed by his teeth gently nipping against her ear.
Ashiya’s nipples tightened, and need burned hot in her veins. “You didn’t regret the night before or think that we made a mistake? I thought leaving was doing you a favor.”
“You were avoiding me?”
She spun around and stared into his eyes. He hadn’t answered her question, but if he was willing to admit that he wanted her beside him in bed, then she was going to press until he admitted why.
“Yes. Because I couldn’t take you rejecting me again after what happened last night. I couldn’t bear to see regret or, worse, disgust in your eyes. I messed up before, and I want you back. I want us back. I couldn’t get my hopes up only to have you dash them into smoke while my body still trembled from every touch, squeeze, and kiss you gave me the night before.”
His eyes burned into her. The fight in his gaze something she’d seen in the three years since she’d ruined their relationship. The fight that told him to pull away instead of accepting what was between them. He wanted her to surrender on his terms, but she couldn’t let him have everything his way. Yes, she’d fucked up, but he wanted her too. If he was going to touch her, look at her that way, then he had to admit that he wanted them back together.
“Why do you still reach for me, Russell?” Her voice was low but demanding. “Why didn’t you want to let me go?”
His gaze dropped to her mouth. “Last night reminded me of the way things were.”
She pressed forward until her breasts were flat against his chest. This time her hand grabbed his waist and pulled him against her. “Was it a mistake? Do you regret what happened? Are you going to eventually say that we can’t be together again?”
Russell’s brows drew together. She pulled her lower lip between her teeth and slowly let it slip out. Desire burned hot in his eyes. The growing length of his erection pressed between them.
Foolish Hearts Page 18