by Dan H Kind
Chapter 41
Your Trash, Their Treasure
The “Your Trash, Their Treasure” sale took place outdoors, on the New Shaolin Monastery grounds. Luckily, the weather gods provided a lovely afternoon, not too hot and not too humid. Tents and stalls dotted the grassy knolls, picturesque orchards, and aromatic gardens, the scene festive and colorful, flags flapping in the breeze and kites flying high in the sky.
A complimentary vegetarian meal would be served at five o'clock. On the menu this year were spring rolls and fresh rolls with various dipping sauces, fruit salad made with all organic fruits supplied by Farmer John, saffron rice, and tofu with fresh vegetables in teriyaki sauce. Dessert was fresh-baked golden bread covered in cinnamon and sugar and homemade vanilla frozen yogurt.
The sale started at eleven o'clock in the morning, and most attendees would stick around—or show up right before, with no intent to buy—for the free meal. Usually the entire town of Eden, from the mayor down to the local bums who were forever being run off Colonial Eden property, would be in attendance. There was just . . . something about being on the grounds of New Shaolin Monastery that calmed one's soul. Year in and year out, the event was serene and beatific, with gooey gobs of loving-kindness spraying all over the place.
Sir Arthur took it upon himself to provide mythical security for the well-attended yard sale. Tom Sawyer's gang and Captain Promo had agreed to help him out. He had figured that would be sufficient to keep things under control. Dressed in civvies, Captain Promo patrolled the monastery grounds, browsing the goods for sale and keeping a close eye out for anything abnormal. Tom and company each had their eyes on various section of the grounds.
Charon, his form that of a tall, skinny white guy with severe acne scars, seemed to be having the time of his life, throwing a Frisbee for Cerby and feeding Herby doggie-treats by the dozens. The Ferryman of the Dead and Tom Sawyer's Gang had a starlight-excursion up the Jims scheduled for later. There was nothing like a midnight river-ride on the wide open Jims.
Master Mirbodi floated about the monastery grounds, grinning and bowing to everybody who came up to him to chat. It was said around Eden that a word of wisdom from the mouth of Master Mirbodi could save you from several rebirths, if you favored the idea of reincarnation. And everybody, regardless of belief, couldn't help but like the guy.
Sitting Lotus manned the 'Home Furnishings' tent—the most boring job of all, if you asked him. But at least the masters were letting the novices drink as much green tea as they wanted, and they had each been given a basket of fruit to munch on throughout the day. Sitting Lotus bit into a tangerine, and that fruit was the best Buddha-blessed thing he had tasted in his life.
Jack and Stephone wandered the grounds hand in hand, chatting with acquaintances and peering at the goods for sale. They grinned and giggled a lot, bumping hips and rubbing shoulders more than necessary.
Hermes had been patrolling the grounds for “fresh tail.” Human or mytho, he explained to Jack, it was all the same when you were “hittin' it from behind.”
To a man, the other Tricksters had decided to remain in Eden. At least for a little while. At least for today's big event. At least until the no-charge dinner at today's event had been polished off.
Masaaw had volunteered as unofficial bookkeeper for the sale. He sat at a fold-out table by the Meditation Hall, filling out deeds of sale with tears of happiness streaming down his face. He was considering remaining on the Key World and resuming his position as executive vice-president at Colonial Eden, Incorporated. But this time he wouldn't use his Voice of Death to control all employees from the president on down.
Iktome had volunteered to work the 'Green Tea Stand.' He handed out paper cups with gusto, cracking dirty jokes and laughing with everybody that wandered up to grab a glass of iced green. Even a passing monk or dozen smiled at the spiderman's lewd quips.
Coyote and Rabbit had appropriated a number of helium tanks, which they had set up by the 'Toys and Games' tent. All day long they had been creating complex balloon animals like the “Tyrannosaurus Rex” and the “great white shark with severed limbs dangling from mouth” for the kids. Many amused adults wandered away with lifelike “cock-and-balls” or “hairy vag” balloon creations.
Old Man had found an old card table in the novices' dormitories. For a dollar a guess, at five-to-one odds, he was doing the ol' three-card monte—and had it rigged so he could win every time. He had accumulated quite a haul until Raven came along. By now the bird-brain had just about cleaned the little dude out.
Rhadamanthus had changed his tune earlier that morning, promising to forevermore be on his best behavior if only Farmer John would let him stay on Earth for one more day and attend the big sale. He had whined and begged and pleaded, and eventually the old farmer had relented, really just to get the guy to shut the hell up so he could get some sleep.
Farmer John himself—barefoot, as always—had earlier been wandering around purchasing various items of furniture and other appliances, as these things had been blown up or charred in the explosions that had taken out his farmhouse. Now he entertained a gaggle of children by walking over a bed of hot coals set up by the monks and poking red-hot needles through the thick calluses on his feet.
It was just past two o'clock, the sale was in full midday swing, and everything was “so far, so good.” But that did not mean it would stay that way.
Sir Arthur shook his head and reached into his coat for his cigarettes, attempting to jettison his inexplainable paranoia. He lit up and savored the flavor of the tobacco while his eyes scanned the fluctuating crowds. The people milled about the monastery grounds. Every now and then someone would recognize something they had tossed away as unusable trash all repaired and cleaned up—and sometimes buy it back! All in all, the scene was calm and peaceful. Birds chirped in the trees, smiling monks and novices roamed the grounds, the people laughed, chatted, and browsed.
Loving-kindness abounded.