by Cora Reilly
“I want to help you, but I don’t know how.”
“I love you, Aria. The only thing that stops me from cutting my wrists right now is the knowledge that my marriage to Matteo means I’ll live in New York with you.”
Fear crushed my heart. “Gianna, you are the strongest person I know. Promise me you won’t do anything stupid. If you hurt yourself, I couldn’t live with myself.”
“You are much stronger than me, Aria. I have a big mouth and flashy bravado, but you are resilient. You married Luca, you live with a man like him. I don’t think I could have done it. I don’t think I can.”
“We’ll figure it out, Gianna.”
The elevator doors opened and Luca stepped into our apartment. His eyes darted from Romero to me, his brows drawing together.
“He’s here. I’ll call you tomorrow.” I hung up as fury burnt through me. I hadn’t thought I could ever hate Luca again, not even for a moment, but in this second I wanted to hurt him. I stormed inside, my hands balled into fists as I headed toward Luca. He didn’t move a muscle, only watched me with calm scrutiny. That calm fueled my rage more than anything else. I wasn’t sure what he thought I was going to do, but it wasn’t attack—that was obvious from his reaction. My fists hammered his chest as hard as I could. Shock flashed across Luca’s face, his entire body exploding with tension. From the corner of my eye I saw Romero take a step in our direction, obviously unsure if he was supposed to do something. He was my bodyguard, but Luca was his boss. Of course, Luca didn’t have trouble handling me. After a moment, he gripped both of my wrists in his hand. I hated that he could overpower me so easily. “Aria, what—”
He didn’t get to finish because I rammed my knee upward, and only his quick reflexes prevented me from hitting my goal. The sound of Gianna’s sobs rang in my mind, made me lose whatever rationality I had.
“Get out,” Luca ordered sharply. Romero did so without protest. Luca’s blazing eyes met mine, but I was past being scared. I would die for Gianna. I tried another kick and grazed Luca’s groin this time. He snarled and pushed me down on the sofa, my legs pinned down by his knees and my arms pushed above my head. “For god’s sake, Aria. What’s gotten into you?”
I glared. “I know about Gianna and Matteo,” I spat, and then I lost it completely and I started crying, big, gasping sobs raking my body. Luca released my wrists and sat back so I could move my legs. He regarded me like I was a creature he would never understand.
“That’s what this is about?” He sounded incredulous.
“Of course you don’t understand, because you never loved anyone more than your own life. You can’t possibly understand how it is to feel your own heart breaking at the thought of the person you love getting hurt. I would die for the people I love.”
His eyes were hard and cold as he stood. “You are right. I don’t understand.” The cold mask was back. I hadn’t seen it directed at me in weeks.
I wiped my eyes and stood as well. “Why didn’t you tell me? You’ve known for weeks.”
“Because I knew you wouldn’t like it.”
I shook my head. “You knew I’d be mad at you, and you didn’t want to ruin your chances of fucking me.” I didn’t blush, even though I never used the word.
Luca became rigid. “Of course I wanted to fuck you. But I got the impression you enjoyed our fucking sessions.”
I wanted to hurt him. He was so cold. Of course it had always been about taking what was his, about claiming my body. He didn’t give a shit about me, or anyone. “And you worried I wasn’t a good enough actress to fool everyone after our little trick on our wedding night. But it turns out, I even fooled you.” I let out an ugly laugh. “I made you believe I actually enjoyed it.”
Something flickered in Luca’s eyes, something that made me want to take back my words for a moment, but then his mouth pulled into a cruel smile. “Don’t lie to me. I’ve fucked enough whores to know an orgasm when I see one.”
I flinched as if he’d hit me. Had he just compared me to his whores? I said the ugliest thing I could think of. “Some women even experience an orgasm when they’re being raped. It’s not because they’re enjoying it. It’s their body’s way of coping.”
For a long time Luca didn’t say anything. His nostrils flared and his chest heaved and his hands were clenched to fists. He looked like he wanted to kill me on the spot. Then the scariest thing happened: the anger slipped off his face. His expression became emotionless, his eyes as smooth and impenetrable as steel. “Your sister should be happy that Matteo wants her. Few men can stand her gab.”
“God, that’s the reason, isn’t it?” I said in disgust. “It’s because she told him that he’d never get her hot body that day in the hotel. He didn’t like it. He couldn’t bear that she was immune to his creepy charm.”
“She shouldn’t have challenged him. Matteo is a determined hunter. He gets what he wants.” Still not a flicker of emotion, not even in Luca’s voice. It was like he was made from ice.
“He gets what he wants? It’s not hunting if he forces her into marriage by asking my father for her hand. That is cowardice.”
“It doesn’t matter. They’re getting married.” He turned his back to me, as if he was dismissing me.
Luca didn’t get it. He couldn’t. He didn’t know Gianna as well as I did. She wouldn’t go into this union quietly like I had. I stormed toward the elevator. “Aria, what the fuck are you doing?”
I was in the elevator before Luca could reach it and was on my way one floor down. I stepped out into Matteo’s apartment. It was basically a mirror image of our own, except that it wasn’t a duplex. Matteo was sitting in an armchair, listening to some kind of crappy rap music when he saw me. He rose, eying me cautiously as he came toward me. “What are you doing here?”
I pushed my palms against his chest when he stopped in front of me. “Take your proposal back. Tell my father you don’t want Gianna.”
Matteo laughed. “Why would I? I want her. I always get what I want. Gianna shouldn’t have played games with the big boys.”
I lost it and slapped him across the face. My stupid Italian temperament. I usually reined it in, better than my other siblings at least, but not today. He gripped my arm, shoved me back so my spine collided painfully with the wall, and trapped me between it and his body. I gasped. “You are lucky that you are my brother’s wife.”
The elevator dinged as it stopped and opened. “Let her go,” Luca growled, stepping out. Matteo backed away at once and gave me a cold smile.
Luca walked up to me, eyes scanning my body before facing his brother. “You won’t do that again.”
“Then teach her manners. I won’t let her hit me again.” Teach her manners? His marriage to Gianna would end in an utter catastrophe.
Luca’s voice dropped an octave. “You won’t touch my wife again, Matteo. You are my brother and I’d take a bullet for you, but if you do that again, you’ll have to live with the consequences.” They faced each other, and for a moment I worried they’d pull knives and fight each other. That wasn’t what I’d intended. I knew how much Luca cared about his brother—more than he cared about me, anyway. Matteo was the only person Luca trusted. For a while I’d thought I might be that person, but if that were the case, today would have gone very differently. I knew his protecting me was a power game and not about emotions. By touching me, Matteo had shown disrespect toward Luca, and of course Luca couldn’t let that slide.
“I won’t hit you again, Matteo,” I ground out, though the words tasted foul in my mouth. “I shouldn’t have done it.”
Both men turned to me in surprise. Matteo relaxed his stance. Luca didn’t.
“I’m sorry if I hurt or scared you,” Matteo said. I couldn’t tell if he meant it or not. He had the emotionless mask down just like his brother.
“You didn’t.”
Luca smirked, then he stepped up to me and pulled me against him possessively. Our eyes met and as if he remembered our earlier words, his s
mirk disappeared and his lips tightened. He didn’t release me, but his hold on me loosened.
I turned away from him, not able to bear his expression any longer, and faced Matteo. “Don’t marry Gianna,” I tried again, and Luca’s grip on my waist tightened in warning. I ignored him. “She doesn’t want to marry you.”
“You didn’t want to marry Luca either, yet here you are,” Matteo said with his shark grin.
“Gianna isn’t like me. She won’t come to terms with an arranged marriage.”
Luca dropped his hand from my waist.
“She will become my wife the moment she turns eighteen. No power in this universe will stop me from making her mine.”
“You disgust me. You all do,” I said. With that I stepped back into the elevator. Luca didn’t follow. He didn’t even watch me to see if I was returning to our apartment. He knew I wouldn’t go anywhere. Even if I still wanted to run, I couldn’t. My heart belonged to him even if he didn’t have a heart that he could give me in turn.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
I twisted and turned, not able to fall asleep. I wasn’t used to being alone in bed anymore. Even though Luca and I had barely spoken in the last three days since our fight and hadn’t had sex, we’d always ended up in each other’s arms during the night. Of course, the moment we woke we moved apart. I missed Luca’s closeness. I missed talking to him, missed his kisses, his touch, his hot tongue between my legs. I sighed as I became wet. I wouldn’t give in. How much longer could Luca go without sex anyway?
What if he wasn’t? What if he’d fucked Grace again? She was supposedly in England, but who knew if that was the truth. Or maybe he’d found a new woman to fuck. My eyes found the clock. It was almost two in the morning. A heavy weight settled on my chest. Was Luca giving up on our marriage that easily?
Why not? He’d gotten what he wanted. He’d claimed my body. It wasn’t like I was the only person who could give him what he wanted.
A bang sounded downstairs, followed by deep voices. Romero was one of them, the other was Luca. I slipped out of bed and quickly rushed out of the bedroom in my nightgown. I froze on the staircase. The lights were out, but the moon and the surrounding skyscrapers provided enough light for me to see what was going on. Luca had Romero in a chokehold. I took another step down and Luca’s eyes shot toward me, furious and wild. The monster was back. His arms were covered in blood. Romero stopped struggling when he realized Luca was too strong.
“I would never betray the Famiglia,” Romero choked out, then coughed. “I’m loyal. I’d die for you. If I were a traitor, Aria wouldn’t be here, safe and unscathed. She’d be in the hands of the Bratva.”
Luca loosened his hold and Romero fell to his knees, gasping for breath. I walked down the remaining steps, ignoring Romero shaking his head at me. What was going on? Luca had never been this unhinged.
“Out, now,” he snarled at Romero. When Romero didn’t move, Luca grabbed him by the collar and dragged him into the elevator. Before the doors slid shut, Romero’s worried gaze settled on me. Luca jabbed a code into the panel beside the elevator that deactivated it and stopped people from coming into our apartment, then he turned to me. Not only his arms, but his shirt too was covered in blood. I didn’t see any bullet holes in his shirt or pants.
“Are you okay?” I said, but even my whisper felt too loud in the silence.
I approached Luca slowly as his eyes followed my movement like a tiger would watch the antelope. A strange flicker of excitement filled me. Despite what I’d witnessed, I knew Luca wouldn’t really hurt me. When I’d almost reached him, Luca stalked toward me and crashed his lips against mine. I gasped and he thrust his tongue into my mouth. His hands ripped at my nightgown, tearing it from my body. When it fluttered to the ground, he tore my thin lace panties off. His hungry gaze traveled over me, then he wrenched me toward him and bit into my throat, then my nipple. I gasped in pain and arousal. I should have run as Luca had told me a long time ago, but this side of him actually excited me, and my arousal spoke louder than my fear, even when Luca pushed me toward the sofa and bent me over the backrest. His hand held my neck as his other hand slid between my folds. He pushed two fingers into me and found me wet and aching. I released a harsh breath as my walls clamped tightly around his fingers. He pulled them out. I heard him open his belt and unzip his pants, and I shivered with fear and excitement. Luca bit into my butt cheek, then my lower back and shoulder blade, before he shoved his entire length into me without warning.
I cried out, but Luca didn’t hesitate. He pressed his chest against my back while he held me captive with one arm around my chest, and then he started pounding into me hard and fast. I bit down on my lip. It hurt but it felt also good. Every time he pushed into me, he hit a spot deep inside me that sent sparks of pleasure through me. Luca reached down, his hot breath against my neck, and rubbed his fingers over my clit. I cried and gasped and whimpered. I could feel the tension building. The sound of Luca’s pants and growls turned me on even more. His fingers twisted my nipple almost painfully and he bit down on the crook of my neck, and stars erupted before my vision as I exploded. I screamed Luca’s name over and over again as I trembled in the wake of my orgasm, but he didn’t slow. He drove into me hard and fast, his fingers on my clit relentless as his breathing grew labored, and then I came again, shattering into a thousand tiny pieces of pleasure. My legs crumbled, but Luca pinned me against the backrest with his body. With a growl, he gripped my hips and fucked me even harder. I’d be bruised and sore tomorrow, but I couldn’t bring myself to care. When he shuddered against me and bit the other side of my throat, I hung limply over the sofa. I was too sated and exhausted to do anything as he came inside me.
I thought it was over, but Luca lifted me off the backrest and lowered me to the ground. He shoved my legs as wide apart as they would go. I was oversensitive and couldn’t possibly come again, but Luca’s eyes pinned me with their intensity. He grasped my wrists and pushed my arms up above my head, then he rubbed two fingers along my folds, back and forth, before circling my opening and sliding them in inch by inch. My eyes rolled back in my head as he fingered me in a torturously slow way. My walls clamped around his fingers and I heard sounds coming from the back of my throat I didn’t recognize. He didn’t touch my clit, just fucked me with his fingers with an intense look on his face.
“Is this a fucking lie?” he asked roughly as he curled his fingers in me and made me gasp in pleasure. “Tell me, Aria. Tell me you enjoy this as much as I do.” The despair in his voice startled me.
He curled his fingers again and I whimpered. “Yes, Luca. I enjoy this.”
He flicked my clit with his thumb and I arched off the ground, but he pulled his thumb away despite my mew of protest and kept fingering me. “So you lied? Why?”
He was driving me insane with need. I wanted him to touch my clit, wanted him to finger me faster, wanted him to fuck me. “Yes, I lied!” I squirmed in his hold, wanting to free my hands to reach for his cock. He was already growing hard and I wanted to convince him to stop my torture, but he was too strong and too relentless.
“Why?” he growled. He paused his fingers and I wanted to scream in frustration.
“I lied because I hate that I love you, because I hate that you can hurt me without ever laying a finger on me, because I hate myself for loving you even though you won’t ever love me back.” Luca released my wrists, eyes dark and questioning.
I didn’t want to talk. I reached for his erection and gave it a hard squeeze. “Now fuck me.”
He grabbed my legs and pulled me toward him, my feet pressed up against his shoulders, and then he slid into me in one hard stroke and I came around him, my muscles clenching around his cock so tightly that he grunted. He fucked me even harder, and I scratched my fingers over the wooden floor as my eyes shut tightly. I was coming apart from pleasure and emotions. My back rubbed against the hard floor, I was sore and my legs were stiff, but I came again when Luca hit his release, and then I pas
sed out.
* * *
My entire body hurt. I groaned when I shifted and realized I was lying in our bed. Luca must have carried me upstairs last night. My eyes fluttered open and found Luca watching me with a strange look on his face.
“What did I do?” he asked in a harsh whisper.
I frowned, then looked down at myself. The blankets were pulled back, revealing the entire length of my body and the proof of last night’s actions. There were finger-shaped bruises on my hips and wrists. My throat and shoulders were tender where Luca had marked me, and my inner thighs were red from the friction. I looked like a mess. I sat up and winced from the sharp soreness between my legs. Yet I couldn’t find it in me to regret anything. I didn’t always want it this rough, but once in a while it was a nice change of pace.
“Aria, please tell me. Did I…?”
I searched his eyes, trying to figure out what he was talking about. Self-hatred flashed on his face, and then I realized what he thought. “You don’t remember?”
“I remember bits and pieces. I remember holding you down.” His voice caught. He wasn’t touching me. In fact he perched on the edge of the bed, as far from me as possible. He looked exhausted and broken.
“You didn’t hurt me.”
His eyes flickered to the bruises. “Don’t lie to me.”
I knelt and moved toward him even when he stiffened. “You were a bit rougher than usual, but I wanted it. I enjoyed it.”
Luca didn’t say anything, but I could tell he didn’t believe me.
“No, really, Luca.” I kissed his cheek and lowered my voice. “I came at least four times. I don’t exactly remember everything. I passed out from sensory overload.” Relief washed away some of the darkness in Luca’s eyes, but I was surprised that he didn’t tease me for my comment.