by Cora Reilly
Later when Luca picked me up and took me to Aria, I didn’t even provoke him. I ignored him, even when he warned me again not to tell Aria about the basement. He didn’t have to worry. I couldn’t burden Aria with the truth, not when she still had to live in this world and with Luca.
CHAPTER FIVE
Gianna
“You look so pretty,” Lily said from her spot on my bed in the guest room of the Vitiello mansion in the Hamptons. At least, it wasn’t the same room I’d had last time. I had to suppress a shiver when I thought of that day and all the blood I’d seen.
I glared at my reflection. Mother had chosen the dress for me because I’d refused to go shopping with her for my engagement party. It was a surprisingly nice dress, which didn’t make me look like a tramp. I still shuddered when I remembered the slutty dress they’d chosen for Aria when she’d gotten engaged to Luca.
My dress was dark green, my favorite color. I was surprised Mother knew that much about me, or maybe Lily had helped secretly. The skirt was flared and reached my knees. Definitely modest. Maybe Father thought I was bad girl enough and didn’t need a slutty outfit to emphasize that further.
“I don’t know why they bother,” I said. “They know I don’t want to celebrate my engagement to Matteo. I don’t want to marry him.”
“It’s tradition.”
Lily was wringing her hands nervously in her lap. Pushing my own feelings aside, I walked toward her and sat down. She didn’t even look up but her lower lip was trembling.
“Hey, are you okay?”
She gave a small shake of her head. “I know it’s stupid but I’m kind of scared.”
“Of Luca, Matteo, and Romero?”
“I’m sorry.”
I wrapped my arm around her. “Why are you apologizing? It’s perfectly natural for you to be afraid of them after what you saw in September.”
She shuddered. “I can’t get it out of my head. I dream about it almost every night.”
Two months since that day, and almost every night she woke me with her screams before she slipped into my bed. “They would never hurt you, Lily. We are girls, they will always want to protect us from harm.” It was laughable that I was singing their praises, but I would have done anything to calm Lily down.
“I know.” She took a deep breath. “I hope I don’t freak out like last time. Father would be so mad if I made a scene.”
I kissed her cheek. “You won’t. I’ll be at your side. And Aria will be there too. Everything will be okay.”
Someone knocked at the door but before I could reply, Fabi poked his head in, his eyes darting between Lily and me. “Are you having a girl talk?”
“Yes,” Lily said at the same time as I said, “No.”
Fabi narrowed his eyes and slipped into the room. He looked too cute in his tuxedo. “Father sent me to tell you everyone’s waiting.” He straightened his shoulders, his little chin lifting a little higher. Fabi had turned ten a couple of days ago and in a few years, he would already start his initiation process. I was glad that I probably wouldn’t get the chance to see my sweet, good-natured brother become a killer.
“You ready?” I asked Lily, who nodded quickly but her eyes told a different story. I understood her only too well.
Fabi tugged at his collar, which looked tight even from afar. “Lily is supposed to come with me, so you can enter alone.”
Lily stiffened beside me. She had clung to me when we’d first stepped foot into the mansion this morning. I wasn’t sure why Luca and Matteo had insisted on celebrating in New York, and worse in the very place where Lily had seen Romero and Matteo torture a Russian, but it was too late now. So far we’d managed to avoid them all. I hadn’t even seen Aria yet.
“No. I don’t care what Father wants. Lily and I will go down together.”
Fabi gnawed on his lip. “Father will be angry.”
I stood, pulling Lily with me. “He’ll get over it.” He wouldn’t make a scene in front of New York. He’d wait with his punishment until we were back in Chicago. Lily, Fabi, and I headed downstairs together and Lily’s grip on my hand tightened with every step we took. As we passed the front hall her eyes darted to the back where the entrance to the basement was. She shivered. Voices were coming from the living room and we headed toward the door, our shoes clicking on the marble floor; a floor that had been slick with blood two months ago. I tried to forget what I’d seen that day. I needed to focus on today if I didn’t want things to end badly.
It wasn’t a big celebration, but the most important members of the New York Famiglia and the Outfit had been invited. I was determined to be on my best behavior today. I didn’t want Father to think I was thinking of ways to escape and up the number of my bodyguards.
The moment we entered the living room, I knew I could kiss that plan goodbye. Lily let out a small sound in the back of her throat, her nails digging into my palm. Father was talking to Dante Cavallaro, Luca, and Matteo, while the other men, as well as Aria, my mother, and Matteo’s stepmother, Nina Vitiello, stood around them. Father’s eyes narrowed immediately when he saw me with Lily. Fabi quickly rushed toward him and Father scowled at him, probably giving Fabi a lecture under his breath.
Matteo’s gaze captured me with its intensity. He was dressed in black pants and a white shirt.
“Gianna,” Father said in a tight voice. “We’ve been waiting for you.”
Everyone expected me to walk over to my father, so he could hand me over to Matteo, and I would have if Lily hadn’t started shaking beside me at the sight of Matteo, Romero, and Luca.
Her eyes darted to me. There was a flicker of fear on her face. I didn’t want Father, much less anyone else, to know that she was terrified. Father would be furious. Maybe he’d even hit her, and Lily really didn’t need another bad experience. She’d been struggling enough in the last few months.
She was frozen beside me.
“Gianna, stop the nonsense and come over here,” Father growled.
Aria came toward me. “What’s wrong?”
Lily and I exchanged a look. So far we hadn’t told Aria anything, but it would be hard to explain Lily’s strange behavior.
“Long story,” I said. “Can you take Lily’s hand?”
But Father had had enough. He stalked toward me and grabbed my wrist in a crushing grip before he dragged me toward Matteo. “I’ve had enough of your insolence.” I almost stumbled on my heels as I hurried after him.
Matteo pulled me against him, forcing Father to release me. The look on Matteo’s face bore a remarkable resemblance to the one he’d had when the Russian had kicked me. I was glad to escape Father’s wrath for now and didn’t pull away from Matteo. Aria was hugging Lily to her side and both were whispering quietly. I hoped Aria could calm our sister down. I hated seeing Lily so distressed.
“I know what you did there,” Matteo murmured in my ear once he’d put the engagement ring on my finger.
“And what would that be?”
“You helped your sister.”
I slipped out from under his arm. “I wouldn’t have had to help her if she wasn’t terrified of you.”
Matteo didn’t look sorry. Maybe he wasn’t capable of guilt. “I’ll have a word with her.”
“Stay away from her,” I hissed, but he seemed to find my threatening tone funny, and I blew. My voice rose. I was beyond caring if the others would hear. “And while you’re at it, stay away from me too. I don’t want anything to do with your fucked-up world.”
Unfortunately Father heard, and so did probably everyone else in the room, and while Matteo didn’t seem to take my outburst to heart, Father’s scowl promised punishment. I had a feeling Matteo would have stopped him, if I’d asked for his help, but I didn’t want to be indebted to Matteo. I’d rather bear Father’s beatings.
I couldn’t stop staring at the yellow gold ring with the huge diamond in the center. Father had made it very clear what would happen if I took it off.
In our world it wa
s like a cattle brand. Everyone would know whom I belonged to.
CHAPTER SIX
Gianna
I hated having to involve Aria in any of this, but she was my last option. The biggest problem was actually asking her. I didn’t trust the phones. I wouldn’t put it past our father to rig them so he could keep an eye and ear on me. I had to ask her in person but as a punishment for my misstep at the engagement party I hadn’t been allowed to see Aria since our family’s Christmas party. But after weeks of begging, Lily and I finally managed to convince Father to let Lily and me fly to New York for Lily’s birthday in April.
Lily was practically bouncing with excitement during our flight. I was still surprised how quickly she’d recovered from the horrible events of last September. I really hoped she wouldn’t be set back by being back in New York. She’d been avoiding Matteo and Luca the last few times we’d seen them but this time we’d be staying at Luca’s penthouse, so there was no way she could do it.
The moment we walked into the waiting hall buzzing with voices, I wanted to groan. Matteo stood beside Aria and Luca. I should have realized he would come. He seemed determined to ignore my antipathy. Sometimes I almost considered to give up on running away and to try to come to terms with my marriage to Matteo, but then there were the moments when he gave me that cocky grin like now, and then I wanted to run away as fast as my feet could carry me because I actually wanted to kiss him, despite what I’d seen him do in September.
Lily kept close to me. It was the only sign that she hadn’t forgotten what had happened almost seven months ago. She didn’t take my hand like she might have done a couple of years ago but her arm brushed mine as we walked toward Luca, Matteo, and Aria. “Are you okay?” I whispered.
She jumped, flushing. “Yeah.” She squared her shoulders. “I’m fine.” She almost managed to hide her nerves from me. Aria ran toward us when we’d almost reached them and threw her arms around both of us. “I missed you so much.”
“We missed you too,” I whispered, kissing her cheek.
Lily beamed at both of us.
Aria shook her head. “You’re as tall as me now. I still remember when you didn’t want to go anywhere without holding my hand.”
Lily groaned. “Don’t say anything like that when Romero is around. Where is he anyway?”
I rolled my eyes, and Aria laughed. “He’s probably at his apartment.” Lily must have managed to get over her anxiety around Romero at some point. Puppy love turned you blind.
“Come on,” Aria said. “Let’s go.”
As expected, Lily turned shy again the moment we stood in front of the guys. My protective side made me want to step in front of her and shield her from everything, but I knew she’d be embarrassed if I did something like that. My gaze found Matteo’s eyes; they were warm; they were a normal guy’s eyes, and for an instant I wanted to believe the lie he was so good at telling, but I forced myself to break our staring contest.
“The birthday girl,” Matteo said with a smile at Lily, arms crossed over his chest. He looked so approachable and harmless, and I knew he was doing it on purpose because of Lily. Despite my best intentions not to, I felt grateful, and at the same time couldn’t help but wonder how he could be so kind and funny one moment, when he was capable of the horrible things I’d seen in September.
“Not yet,” Lily said, biting her lip. “Unless you have an early present for me.” I almost exploded with relief. I’d worried Lily would be as nervous as last time when she’d see Matteo, but he was a master manipulator and had her wrapped around his finger again.
“I like the way you think,” Matteo said with a wink. He took her suitcase then held out his arm for her to take. She glanced between Matteo and me. “Won’t you carry Gianna’s luggage?”
“Luca can take care of it,” Matteo said, eyes dancing with mirth as they settled on me. Why did he have to be so…tolerable? If I didn’t know any better, I’d say he had a suspicion I was trying to figure out a way to run away from our impending marriage.
I narrowed my eyes at him before turning to Lily. “Go on.”
She linked arms with Matteo and they walked ahead. Luca took my suitcase without a word before following after his brother and my younger sister. I fell back with Aria. “Maybe Father should have married Lily off to Matteo instead of me,” I said, only half-joking. She seemed to have no trouble getting along with him.
“Matteo needs someone like you, someone who talks back to him. I don’t think she could handle him.”
I snorted. “But you think I can?”
Aria searched my face. “There’s something you’re not telling me.”
“Later,” I whispered, and she nodded with a glance toward Luca and Matteo.
* * *
I didn’t get the chance to talk to Aria until much later that day, and only because Luca and Matteo had business to conduct in their dance club “Sphere.” Romero was still there but Lily had convinced him to play Scrabble with her in the living room so he was occupied as I led Aria out onto the roof terrace despite the cold. Once we stood at the edge of the roof, she turned to me. “You’re up to something, aren’t you?”
I hesitated, suddenly feeling guilty for even considering to involve Aria. “I can’t do this, Aria. I want out. Out of this world. Out of my arranged marriage. Just out.”
Her face became still, blue eyes wide. “You want to run?”
The wind had picked up and tore at my hair, but I wasn’t certain if that was the only reason why I shivered. “Yes.”
“Are you sure?”
“Absolutely,” I said, though sometimes doubt kept me awake at night. This was a huge step. “Ever since the Bratva attacked the mansion and I saw what Matteo is capable of, I knew I had to run.”
“It’s not just Matteo, you know that, right? He isn’t any worse than any other Made Man.”
“That makes it even worse. I know that pretty much all the men in our world are capable of horrible things, and one day even Fabi will be, and I hate it, hate every second I’m trapped in this messed-up world.”
“I thought you and Matteo were getting along better. You didn’t try to rip each other’s head off today.”
“He’s trying to manipulate me. Didn’t you see how easily he could make Lily forget her nervousness around him?”
Aria shrugged. “It could be worse. Most men wouldn’t have forgiven you for giving him such a hard time, but he really seems to like you.”
Did he? I was never sure with Matteo. He was too good at hiding his emotions, at choosing the mask he wanted to show to the world. “Are you on his side?” I asked with a bit more force than I’d intended.
“I’m not on his side. I’m just trying to show you an alternative to running away.”
Stunned, I said, “Why? You know I’ve never wanted this life. Why are you trying to make me stay?”
Aria glared, gripping my wrist. “Because I don’t want to lose you, Gianna!”
“You won’t lose me.”
“Yes, I will. Once you’ve run away, we can’t ever see each other again, maybe not even talk unless we figure out a way to do it without risking the mob tracing you.”
Of course, in the back of my mind, I’d known that would be the result of my escape, but I’d pushed it aside, not able to bear the thought. “I know,” I whispered. “You could come with me.”
Aria parted her lips in surprise and even before she spoke I knew her answer. “I can’t.”
I nodded, facing away from her and letting my gaze wander over New York. I blinked a few times. “Because you love Luca.”
She put her hand on mine. “Yes, but that’s not the only reason. I can’t leave Fabi and Lily behind either, and I’ve made peace with this life. It’s all I’ve ever known. I’m okay with it.”
Guilt crashed down on me. “Do you think I’m abandoning them if I leave?”
“They’ll understand. Not everyone is cut out for a life in this world. You’ve always wanted to live a normal l
ife, and they’ll still have me. You have to think of yourself. I just want you to be happy.”
I wrapped my arms around her, burying my face in her hair. “I don’t think I can be happy here.”
“Because you don’t want to marry a killer, because you can’t live with what Matteo does.”
“No,” I said quietly. “Because I can see myself being okay with it.”
Aria drew back, pale brows drawn together. “What’s wrong with that?”
I wanted to laugh and cry at the same time because I had a feeling that Aria wouldn’t have asked that question before Luca. “Are you okay with what Luca does? Don’t you ever lie awake at night feeling guilty for being married to a man like him?”
“We come from a family of men like him.” She stepped back, her arms dropping to her sides. “Do you want me to feel guilty?”
“No. But normal people would feel guilty. Can’t you see how messed up we are? I don’t want to be like that. I don’t want to spend my life with a man who carves up his enemies.”
Aria stared but didn’t say anything. She looked so horribly sad and hurt that I wanted to kick myself hard for ever opening my stupid mouth.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t want to make you feel bad. I just…” I trailed off, not sure how to explain my conflicted emotions to Aria. “I know I have to risk it. I have to try to get away from all this and live a life without all the violence and messed-up morals. I’ll always regret it if I don’t.”
“You know you can’t ever come back. There’s no going back once you’ve run. Even if Matteo would forgive you for insulting him like that, the Outfit would be responsible for your punishment until your marriage. And running away from the mafia is betrayal.”
“I know.”
“The Outfit punishes betrayal with death. Because you aren’t a Made Man they might decide to go easy on you and throw you into one of their whorehouses or marry you off to someone far worse than Matteo.”
“I know.”
Aria gripped my shoulders. “Do you really? Few people risk running from the mob and there’s a reason for it. Most people get caught.”