by Cora Reilly
My face turned hot. “Shut up,” I muttered. I loosened my fingers, which had clawed at the bedsheet.
Matteo’s eyes were soft. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
I decided to play dumb. Maybe I could convince him this wasn’t what it looked like. “Tell you what?”
A sly grin twisted his lips, and I wanted nothing more than to wipe it off his face. Of course he didn’t buy my lie. He wasn’t an idiot. He was a master manipulator and I obviously had a lot to learn before I could trick him.
“That I’m your first,” he said. Did he have to sound so…relieved and proud?
If I hadn’t been worried that getting his cock out of me would hurt as much as getting it inside had, I would have shoved him away. Lying beneath him made a fair argument difficult.
I narrowed my eyes. “I thought we were going to fuck? I’m tired of talking to you.”
Matteo braced himself on his hands, bringing us closer. I tensed at the twinge the movement caused.
“First I want you to answer my question. Why? You could have spared yourself a lot of pain, if you’d told me,” he said calmly. He looked like this was the easiest thing in the world for him, being buried deep inside of me, and having a chat.
When it became clear that he would wait until I gave him what he wanted, I said, “Because I didn’t want you to know.”
His grin got even cockier. “Because you didn’t want to admit that you waited for me.”
“I didn’t wait for you. Now stop talking and fuck me, damn it.” This was getting too personal, and I hated how vulnerable I was, naked inside and out. How was I supposed to stop feeling if Matteo kept asking me things I didn’t want to think about?
Matteo didn’t take his eyes off me. They were dark and possessive, and seemed to stare right through me. If it hadn’t felt like a defeat, I would have looked away. He pulled out slowly before sliding back in and I tensed from the pain. My body was a horrible traitor. At least, I managed to hold back a gasp this time. Matteo moved slowly and carefully, his muscles flexing with every thrust.
I hated that he was being considerate. I hated that he wasn’t acting like a total asshole, hated that hating him wasn’t as easy as I’d thought. If he wasn’t an asshole, then somehow Sid’s death was even more my fault, because my running away was unnecessary and selfish and unfounded.
I gripped his shoulders. “Stop holding back.”
Matteo’s brows drew together but he still didn’t move faster.
I dug my fingers into his skin and jerked my hips despite the soreness between my legs. “Stop holding back!”
This time he listened. His eyes flashed and then he slammed into me harder and faster. I closed my eyes as I held onto his shoulders. I probably left marks with my nails. I didn’t care and Matteo didn’t seem to mind if his quick breathing was any indication.
The pain felt good, gave me something to focus on beyond the crushing guilt. But there wasn’t only pain. Soon the stretched feeling turned into an exquisite pressure, a low hum of pleasure I’d never felt before. Matteo lowered himself, changing the angle in which he pushed into me, hitting an amazing spot deep inside me. Matteo’s mouth found my throat and then he bit down on my skin lightly. A moan slipped out of my lips. My eyes shot open, meeting Matteo’s intense gaze. I couldn’t look away. I wanted to pull him closer and push him away at the same time, wanted to hide and open up to him, wanted and not wanted. “Are you going to come?” Matteo rasped.
I shook my head “no,” not trusting my voice. Maybe I could have come. It felt increasingly good, but I needed to bring space between Matteo and me, needed time to get a handle on my emotions before they overwhelmed me. I was confused and tired and sad.
Matteo raised himself on his arms again and sped up even more, slamming into me over and over again, and then he tensed above me, his face twisting with pleasure, and damn he looked magnificent, like something even Michelangelo couldn’t have created better. Matteo’s movements became jerky and then he stilled, eyes closed, a few strands of dark hair stuck to his forehead.
My fingers itched to brush them away, to touch his lips and jaw. Instead I dropped my hands from his shoulders and rested them on the bed beside me where they couldn’t do something stupid, something I’d regret later.
Matteo’s eyes peeled open slowly and I sucked in a quiet breath. Why couldn’t he stop looking at me like that? He didn’t smile, only pierced me with his dark gaze.
I pushed against his chest. “You’re getting heavy. Get off.”
The corners of his mouth twitched, then he slowly pulled out and plopped down on the bed beside me and reached for me as if he was going to embrace me. Panicking, I sat up and slid off the bed. If he hugged me now, if he acted like we were a real couple, one that cared about each other, I’d lose my shit. I headed for the bathroom, not bothering to cover myself. Matteo had seen all of me already, and I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of thinking I was embarrassed to be naked in front of him.
I didn’t hear him coming after me but suddenly Matteo grabbed my hand, stopping me from disappearing into the safety of the bathroom. Our eyes met. His were almost…regretful. “I shouldn’t have gone so hard on you, but you know how to push my fucking buttons, Gianna. Did I hurt you?”
Concern, there it was again. Damn it. Why couldn’t he stop acting like he was a normal guy? Did he really think that would make me forget who and what he really was? “Don’t pretend you didn’t like it.”
“I don’t. I loved every fucking second of it. I’ve waited a long time for this moment. I’ve spent almost every waking moment of my search for you imagining having your hot body under me. But in my imagination you were moaning my name and having multiple orgasms. You definitely weren’t in pain.”
That arrogant bastard. “Keep imagining that. It won’t happen.”
Matteo braced himself against the doorframe, trapping me between his arms. “Your body reacted to me, Gianna, even if you don’t want to admit it. Next time you will come when I fuck you, trust me.”
“What makes you think my body was reacting to you? Maybe I was imagining I was with someone else. The mind is a powerful tool.” I tried to slip away under his arm but he pushed me against the doorframe. “Maybe I was imagining it was Sid and not you fucking me.”
Matteo didn’t even blink. He didn’t believe a word I was saying. Damn it!
“If you’d really wanted Sid to be your first, you would have let him fuck you. So why didn’t you?”
“Because you killed him!”
Matteo smiled. “We both know that’s not the reason why, but let’s just pretend it were true. Then I’m glad he’s dead. That wimp didn’t deserve the privilege.”
I couldn’t believe him. “You asshole. I knew you’d get a kick out of it, that’s why I didn’t tell you.”
Matteo leaned close until there was less than an inch between our lips. “But I know and I won’t ever forget. You are mine now, Gianna, and I fucking love that I caught you before you found a loser to pop your cherry.”
I tried to slap him but he caught my wrist and actually kissed my palm with a self-satisfied grin. I wrenched my hand away from him. A myriad of insults flitted through my mind, too many to choose only one.
Matteo nodded toward the bed. “Maybe I should tell everyone that we can have a presentation of the sheets after all.”
My eyes grew wide. That was the last thing I wanted, and Matteo knew it. He was taunting me. I pushed past him and this time he let me, and rushed toward the bed. There was a small pink smudge on the sheet. Men had it so much easier. Women had really been screwed over when it came to anatomy. We got our period, we couldn’t pee standing up, we had to squeeze something the size of a melon out of our vagina and our first time sucked majorly. “You wouldn’t dare,” I said.
Matteo crossed his arms over his chest. He was still gloriously naked and was getting a boner again. The bastard was turned on by our fight. “You shouldn’t tempt me.”
I s
hrugged. “Even if you showed the sheets to your family, nobody would believe you anyway. They think I’m a slut, remember? They’d probably think you faked the stain with your own blood like Luca did on his wedding night.” I tensed. This was a secret I was supposed to keep. Nobody knew. Why couldn’t I ever keep my stupid mouth shut?
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Matteo
Gianna’s eyes widened when she let Aria and Luca’s little secret slip. Did she actually think I didn’t know? Luca and I would die for each other. He knew he could trust me with every secret, even one that revealed he wasn’t quite the cruel bastard he and everyone else thought he was. Somehow by some stroke of luck our sadist of a father had made the right decision when he’d chosen Aria for Luca. I didn’t think he’d known how well those two would get along, or he wouldn’t have agreed to the match. He’d always strived on the misery of others. “Don’t worry. Luca told me. Your sister has warmed his cold heart. You Scuderi women have a talent for it.”
Gianna relaxed. No matter how tough she thought she was, her body gave her away. She wasn’t very good at hiding her emotions, which would make it easier for me. Her gaze returned to the stain on the sheets. Seeing it actually gave me a sick kick, so had the fine smear of blood on my cock. I wasn’t like some men in our world who would have refused to marry Gianna because she might have messed around with other guys during her flight. Not that I didn’t hate the thought that any guy had ever laid a fucking finger on her beautiful body, but I wanted Gianna too much to care, and I found the whole obsession with purity in our world ridiculous anyway. The best sex I’d had in my life definitely had been with women who knew what they were doing, but I had a feeling Gianna was a quick learner. Still after the initial shock when Gianna had cried out in pain, I’d felt a rush of possessiveness and fucking joy.
Gianna glanced at me, suspicion tightening her kissable lips. Her hair covered her pale skin like a veil and I couldn’t resist brushing the strands from her shoulder, marveling at their silkiness. Only Gianna’s skin was even smoother. I didn’t think I’d ever get enough of touching her. My fingers found her pulse before I started stroking her throat lightly. For a moment Gianna held her breath and actually leaned into my touch before she seemed to catch herself. She took a step back so I had no choice but to drop my hand. I had to stifle a smile. She was so very predictable. At least, in her reactions to me. Sometimes in the past she’d managed to surprise me, which wasn’t something other people managed often.
Gianna narrowed her eyes at me. If she knew how hot she looked when she was angry, she’d smile more often. I was already hard again and wanted nothing more than to fuck Gianna. Her eyes flitted down to my cock and she huffed. Shaking her head, she brushed past me and disappeared in the bathroom before slamming the door shut with an audible bang.
I released a small laugh before heading back to the bed, dropping on my back and crossing my arms behind my head. I couldn’t keep the grin off my face. After months of frustration, I had been rewarded, even more than I’d hoped for. I waited for the sound of running water but silence reigned in the bathroom. I sat up, suspicion filling me. There wasn’t any way Gianna could escape from the bathroom, but what if she decided to end her life rather than spend it with me?
Gianna seemed to love life too much for such an action, but I wasn’t sure she wouldn’t do it to spite me. I moved toward the bathroom door, ready to tear it down when it opened. Gianna stepped out, her eyebrows shooting up when she spotted me right in front of her. Her eyes weren’t puffy, so at east she hadn’t been crying, which was a relief.
Her nose crinkled. “What? Don’t tell me you’ve been spying on me while I was in the bathroom?”
I crossed my arms over my chest with a smirk. I definitely wouldn’t tell her what I’d thought. “We both know you need supervision.”
With a sigh, she walked past me and climbed under the covers. After a quick scan of the bathroom, which looked the same as it had before, I joined Gianna. She had her back turned to me, and the blankets pulled up to her chin. I pressed myself against her back, my arm sliding around her naked waist. Having her naked body so close to mine was giving me all kinds of ideas and my cock was digging insistently against her butt. I couldn’t wait to take her like this, to have her in front of me on all fours, to have her riding me. I wanted to fuck her in a thousand different ways.
“Don’t even think about it,” Gianna said quietly, warningly. “I’m tired and I don’t owe you more than one go on our wedding night.”
I laughed against her neck before pressing a kiss to her soft skin. “You are such a romantic, Gianna. Your words always warm my heart.”
“Oh shut up,” she muttered.
I tightened my hold on her. She didn’t try to pull away, which surprised me, and again raised my suspicions, but I blamed her demureness on the long day both of us had had. It had been more than twenty-four hours since I’d slept.
Still, I fought off sleep until I heard Gianna’s breathing deepening and her body softening against me. I didn’t trust Gianna, not after what she’d done. I wasn’t sure if I’d ever trust her completely. I knew she’d run the moment I let her out of my sight. I wouldn’t give her another chance to evade me. I didn’t care what I had to do to keep her in New York.
Luca had thought I’d lose interest in her once I’d fucked her. Part of me had hoped for it, but I could already tell that it wasn’t the case. I still wanted her, probably more than before.
I was completely and utterly screwed.
Gianna
The next morning I woke to Matteo moving around in the bedroom. I didn’t give any indication that I was awake, instead I listened to his sounds. I didn’t want to face him. He’d be smug about last night, definitely intolerable. Before a long shower and a strong coffee I wasn’t in the mood for that particular kind of confrontation. When his steps finally moved away and the door clicked shut, I exhaled and opened my eyes. The skyline of New York was hung with heavy clouds. Maybe I could simply stay in bed, but I had a feeling Matteo might try to join me if I did. My traitorous body tingled with excitement at the idea of having his hands on me again, maybe even allowing him to go down on me for real.
I quickly sat up, slid out of bed and hurried into the bathroom to splash cold water into my face. I winced at the burning in my lip. I peered at myself in the mirror. My lower lip was swollen dramatically and the skin below it was bruised. I looked like I’d been in a fight, which wasn’t that far from the truth. I opened my mouth to take a look at the stitches. Disgusted, I quickly snapped it shut again. The events from yesterday flashed through my mind.
I hadn’t even had nightmares about what happened to Sid. I still felt horrible for his cruel death, but my dreams had been empty, a black void of nothingness. Maybe I did belong into this world after all.
My eyes slid down to a spot on the side of my neck where Matteo had left a hickey. The bastard had marked me like I was his property, and to him that was probably the case. I touched the bruise.
Grimacing, I turned away from my reflection, and took a quick shower. When I returned to the bedroom, I found my bags on the floor. Matteo must have carried them in while I was getting ready. Sneaky bastard. How could he move so quietly?
I quickly put my clothes into the drawers that Matteo must have cleared for me. Somehow it annoyed me that he’d made space for me as if he’d known all along that I’d eventually move in. He must have done it long ago. There hadn’t been any time last night or this morning. Putting away the clothes that I hadn’t worn in six months also made me realize that I desperately needed to go shopping. My old clothes felt like a relic from an old life. In our rush to leave my apartment in Munich, I hadn’t been able to grab any of my new clothes.
Afterward, fully dressed I headed out of the bedroom, pausing briefly to listen for Matteo. It was silent in the apartment and as I walked through the living room toward the open kitchen I didn’t encounter anyone, not even a bodyguard. Suspicion flared in me. Matte
o would never leave me unsupervised after what I’d done. My eyes scanned the ceiling, the corners and every other possible place for security cameras, but I found none. I hesitated in the middle of the kitchen for a moment, eyes darting to the massive coffee maker. Screw it. I needed caffeine. If Matteo wasn’t there, for which I was grateful, I’d pretend this was my home.
And I didn’t even need to pretend. This was my home now, or it was supposed to be. Of course it didn’t feel like it. It had been a long time since any place had felt like home. In the last few months of my living there, even my parents’ house hadn’t felt like one anymore. There was no use thinking about it now. I’d never forgive Father for how he’d treated me, nor Mother because she’d let him. Maybe I was dead to them, but they were dead to me too.
My finger hovered in front of the button that would turn the coffee maker on. This eerie silence was driving me crazy. Scolding myself for my ridiculous caution, I finally pushed it. I grabbed a cup and selected a cappuccino. I wasn’t on the run anymore. The worst had already happened.
With a satisfying fizz, the hot liquid shot out. The moment it was done, I cradled the cup and took a long sip, feeling how the warmth and familiar taste cleared my mind further. I leaned against the counter, letting my eyes wander through the apartment. I actually liked the puristic design, the sleek black leather couches, black hardwood furniture and white walls. I wondered if Luca and Matteo had hired the same interior designer because their furniture was so similar. I could see myself looking for art pieces that would fit in, could see myself shop for pillows that would bring some color in, could see myself decorating a large tree for Christmas. I walked around the counter, perched on the stool and turned my back on the place I could so easily see myself living in.
This wasn’t what I wanted. Or at least something I hadn’t wanted six months ago, something I shouldn’t want, not after risking so much to escape it. I closed my eyes and inhaled the comforting scent of my coffee. I needed to see Aria again, but was I even allowed to go one floor up to her penthouse? The idea that I had to ask Matteo and maybe even Luca for permission whenever I wanted to see my sister drove me up the walls. It was a good reminder of why I’d run in the first place, something I could never allow myself to forget.