by Cora Reilly
The moment I stepped onto the dance floor, Luca was there and asked me for a dance. I knew he wanted more than that. He steered us toward a part of the dance floor where there weren’t as many dancers before he started to talk quietly. “You are still going through with this marriage? You and Romero were gone for a while.”
“Yes. I will marry Benito, don’t worry,” I said tiredly. I couldn’t even blame Luca for being so insensitive. He’d invited me into his home and taken care of me, and I’d paid him back by making one of soldiers break his oath.
“You don’t have to stay married to him forever,” Luca said casually.
“Father would never agree to a divorce.” Father would kill me before that ever happened.
“There are other ways out of a marriage than divorce. Sometimes people die.”
“He’s not that old.”
Luca cocked an eyebrow. “Sometimes people die anyway.”
Was he really suggesting that I should kill Benito? “Why can’t he die before my wedding?”
“That would look suspicious. Wait a few months. The time will pass quickly, trust me.”
I wanted to believe him but months sharing a bed with Benito, of having him inside of me, like Romero had just been, sounded like hell.
“Romero won’t want me anymore then.”
Luca remained silent. He knew it to be true. Why would Romero still want me after I’d spent months sleeping with another guy? I was already disgusted by the thought, how much worse would it be for him? “There are good men in the Outfit too. You’ll find new happiness. You’re doing the right thing by marrying Benito. You’re preventing war and you’re protecting Romero from himself. That’s a brave thing to do.”
I nodded, but I wanted to cry. Luca and I returned to our table. Aria tried to talk to me again but she gave up when I barely said anything. I needed to survive this day somehow and then my wedding, and the months thereafter, and then maybe I’d get another chance at happiness. I searched the room until my eyes settled on Romero. He was pointedly not looking at me. I loved him, loved him so much it hurt. I knew there would be no happiness for me without him.
* * *
Aria and Gianna helped me with my dress. It was white of course, with a veil that trailed after me. I wore my hair down because Benito had wanted me to.
“You look beautiful,” Aria said from behind me.
I checked my reflection but I could only see the look of utter despair in my eyes. I’d need the veil to hide it from the world. Gianna and Aria didn’t know about my last conversation with Father, and it was better that way. If they knew how much he’d scared me, they’d take me away despite the risk for their own lives.
“This is crap,” Gianna muttered. She touched my shoulder. “Lily, get the hell away from here. Let us help you. What’s the use of being married to the Capo and the Consigliere of the Famiglia if we can’t force them to start a war for our little sister? You’re going to be miserable.”
“Luca said I could get rid of Benito in a few months when it won’t look suspicious anymore.”
Gianna snorted. “Oh sure, and what until then? My God, could Luca be any more of a jerk?”
Aria didn’t say anything, which was a sign in itself. She usually always tried to defend Luca.
“Are you and Luca still fighting?” I asked.
She shrugged. “I wouldn’t call it fighting. We’re basically ignoring each other. He’s angry at me for keeping you and Romero a secret from him, and I’m mad at him for making you marry Brasci.”
“He isn’t making me, Aria. Father is. Luca’s acting like a Capo should. I’m not his responsibility but the Famiglia is.”
“Good God, Romero has really rubbed off on you. Please tell me you don’t really believe what you just said,” Gianna said.
“I won’t have you all risk everything for me.”
Gianna touched her forehead in exasperation. “We want to risk it for you. But you have to let us.”
Even if I said “yes” now, what could they do? Both Luca and Matteo wouldn’t help us, not when they were surrounded by Outfit soldiers. This would be suicide. And Romero? He would do it without hesitation and get himself killed. Father’s words flashed in my mind again. No, I had to go through with this. It was the only option.
Someone knocked and a moment later Maria poked her head in. She was one of my bridesmaids, even though we still weren’t talking much. “You need to come out now.”
She disappeared before I had time to say something.
“I can’t believe Father is married to her,” Gianna said. “I don’t like her but I still feel sorry for her. Father is a bastard.”
I barely listened. My vision was turning black. Fear filled my bloodstream, made me want to bolt. But I held my head high and lowered my veil over my face. “We should go now.”
“Lily,” Aria began but I didn’t give her the time to finish whatever she wanted to say. I hurried toward the door and opened it, startled to find Father right in front of it. I hadn’t expected him to wait for me here. I knew he’d lead me to the altar but fathers usually waited in the ante-room. Maybe he’d worried I’d run off in the last minute.
“There you are. Hurry,” he said. He slanted a hard look at Gianna when she and Aria walked by but didn’t say anything. He held out his arm for me. An image of him with Maria popped into my head and I wanted to throw up. I put my hand on his forearm and let him lead me toward the main part of the church, even though every fiber of my being wanted to get away from him. Inside the church music was already playing. Before we entered, Father leaned down to me. “You better convince Benito you’re a virgin or he’ll beat you to death, and if he doesn’t, I will.” He didn’t wait for my reply. We went through the double doors and every pair of eyes turned toward us.
My feet felt like lead as I walked toward the altar. Benito waited for me at the end of it, a proud grin on his face, as if he could finally present his catch to everyone. Despite the risk, my eyes searched the crowd until they settled on Romero. He leaned against the wall on the right, an unreadable expression on his face. I tried to catch his gaze, even though it would have made this walk even harder but Romero didn’t even glance my way. He was completely focused on Aria, playing the part as her bodyguard.
I returned my attention to the front, hoping no one had noticed the detour my gaze had taken.
In the spot where my mother should have been was Maria, hunched shoulders, pale skin, sad eyes; maybe she thought nobody was looking because this was the first time she hadn’t put on a brave face. This was a taste of what I would look like soon enough. I peered up at Father. He on the other hand seemed rejuvenated, as if the marriage to a barely twenty-year-old had allowed him to drop a few of his own years. Didn’t he miss Mother at all? She should have been at his side for my wedding. My eyes sought Romero again. I couldn’t seem to stop. And Romero should have been the one waiting at the altar for me. We reached the end of the aisle and Father handed me over to Benito. Old-man fingers curled around my hand, sweaty and too firm. Father lifted my veil and for a moment I was worried my disgust and unhappiness were plain as day but from the look on Benito’s face, he didn’t seem to notice or care. I didn’t listen to the priest as he started his sermon. It took everything I had to stop myself from peering over my shoulder, seeking out Romero one more time.
While the priest and the gathered guests waited for my “I do,” I considered saying “no” for a brief moment. This was my last chance, the last exit before I was forever stuck on a highway to unhappiness, or at least until I figured out a way to get rid of my husband. Was I even capable of something like that? I couldn’t even smash a fly when it bothered me.
Just say “no.” I wondered how people would react if I refused to marry Benito?
Benito would be furious, and so would Father. But my sisters and Romero, they would understand, would probably fight everyone else to protect me. Benito cleared his throat beside me and I realized how long I’d been saying n
othing. I quickly said what everyone expected even when the words tasted like acid. “Yes, I do.”
“You may kiss the bride.”
Benito grasped my waist. I stiffened but I didn’t push him away. His rough lips pressed against mine. I could taste cigars. I pulled my head away and turned to our guests with a forced smile. Benito shot me a disapproving look but I ignored him. If he knew how much restraint it had taken not to shove him away, he wouldn’t be mad at me for ending our kiss a bit too soon.
Taking my hand, he steered me down the aisle. My eyes darted toward Romero but he was gone. I searched the entire church, not finding him. He probably hated me now that he’d seen me kiss Benito and didn’t want anything to do with me. Would I ever see him again?
Romero
I should have never come to Chicago. Watching Lily stride down the aisle toward Benito, I felt like someone was squashing my heart under a boot. I wanted nothing more than to stick my knife into Benito’s eye very slowly, see the light leave him, hear his last labored breath. I wanted to skin him alive, wanted to give him more pain than any man had ever endured.
I forced my eyes away from Lily and focused on Aria as I was supposed to do. She looked back at me and gave me an understanding smile. I didn’t react. I shut off my emotions like I’d learned to do in the first few years after my initiation when seeing people get killed or tortured still bothered me.
“You may kiss the bride.”
My eyes shot toward the front of the church where Benito fucking Brasci had put his hands on Lily’s waist and was practically dragging her toward his body. I saw red. I wanted to kill him. I pushed away from the wall, turned around and walked out of the church. I didn’t run like I wanted. I moved slowly, as if nothing was wrong. Fuck, what a fucking lie. Everything was wrong. The woman that was supposed to be mine had just married some old bastard.
I headed straight toward our rental car. I’d wait there until it was time to drive to Brasci’s mansion for the feast.
* * *
Luca hardly left my fucking side at the wedding party. He probably worried I was going to lose my shit on everyone. He wasn’t wrong. Every time I glanced toward Lily and Benito, something snapped in my brain. I couldn’t stop imagining pulling my gun and putting a bullet in Benito’s head, and then one in Scuderi’s head for good measure. If I was lucky, they wouldn’t stop me quick enough.
Aria came toward me after dinner. I wasn’t sure if I could take her pity, but I wasn’t going to send her away. She was only trying to be kind. “You don’t have to stay, you know? Luca is here for my protection. This must be hard for you. Why don’t you go ahead and find yourself a hotel? I’m sure you don’t want to spend the night under the same roof with Benito.”
Tonight. So far I’d managed not to think about the wedding night too much. “No. I’m fine. I can handle this.”
Aria hesitated as if she wanted to say more but then she headed back to Luca.
When the party drew to an end, I could feel myself getting more and more agitated. And then what I’d been dreading happened. Benito and Lily rose from their chairs to head to the master bedroom for their first night together. A crowd followed them, cheering and making suggestions of what should happen tonight. My pulse quickened and my fingers longed to reach beneath my vest.
I trailed after them, though I knew it was the last thing I should do. I had always prided myself on my control but I could feel it trickling through my fingers.
I knew I’d said to Lily that I would accept her marriage. She had told me she didn’t want me. As a soldier of the New York Famiglia it was my duty to put them first. Wanting Lily could mean war. No, it would lead to fucking war. Dante Cavallaro was a calculating man but his soldiers had been waiting for a chance to tear into us again. I’d seen it in many of their eyes today. Things between us had gone steeply downhill in the past few years. The honeymoon phase of our union had waned off quickly after Luca and Aria’s wedding, and now this was a marriage of convenience, a marriage both the Famiglia and the Outfit wanted out of. The smallest infraction would be enough to blow up everything.
Without realizing it I’d followed the other guests into the lobby. I spotted Lily’s dark blond locks at the top of the steps, next to Benito’s ugly head, and a crowd of other men around them. And then my feet started moving, my hand going for my gun, my temples pounding with anger. I had to push through the crowd, and ignored the mumbles of protest. I couldn’t let that fucker Benito have her. Lily was mine, and would always be mine. If that meant a fucking war, then so be it. I’d spend until the end of my days hunting Russians and Outfit bastards if that meant I could keep her.
I sped up and then Luca was suddenly in front of me. I ground to a halt, breathing hard. I had half a mind to punch him, but I fought the urge. If I made a scene surrounded by so many people, I could screw up everything. Luca grabbed me by the shoulder and steered me into an empty corridor. He pushed me against the wall, making my ears ring, then he released me.
“Goddammit!” He snarled and gripped my shoulder again. “She’s not yours. She’s a married woman now.”
“She never wanted any of this,” I said harshly and shook Luca’s hand off. “It should have been me next to her at the altar.”
“But you weren’t. It’s too late, Romero. This is Chicago. We won’t start a fucking war because you can’t keep it in your pants.”
I got straight into his face. “This is much more than that and you know it.”
“I don’t care, Romero. You watched Liliana walk down that aisle and now you have to accept the consequences. She did her duty and so should you. Go to your room and get some sleep. Don’t do anything stupid.”
Luca was Capo. It was his job to look out for the best of the Famiglia, but right then I wanted to kill him. I’d never wanted to kill my Capo. “Yes, boss.”
Luca grabbed my arm. “I mean it. This is a direct order. I won’t have war over this. I’ve warned you about how this would end a long time ago, but you didn’t listen.”
“I won’t do anything,” I gritted out. Even I wasn’t sure if it was the truth or if I was lying. I hadn’t made up my mind yet.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Liliana
When people started to call for Benito and me to retire to his room, I felt the blood leave my face. Benito didn’t waste any time though. He took my hand and pulled me to my feet, and before I knew what was going on we were heading toward our room.
His palm stuck to the thin material of my wedding dress. It was sweaty and heavy and too warm. Slowly it traveled lower until it rested on my butt. I suppressed a shudder. I wanted to push his hand away, push him away but he was my husband and soon enough he’d touch me there without the protection of fabric, he would touch me everywhere, would see every inch of skin that was supposed to be Romero’s only.
Sickness washed over me, and I almost threw up. Sheer power of will kept my wedding dinner in my stomach. I glimpsed over my shoulder, even though I’d promised myself I wouldn’t do it. My eyes searched the crowd for Romero but he wasn’t there. Part of me was glad that he didn’t have to witness Benito pawing me, but the other, the bigger part, was disappointed. That silly part had hoped that he’d somehow stop this. Of course that would have only gotten him killed. They would have shot him on the spot and then war would have broken out. Many people would have died, maybe even Fabi, Aria, and Gianna. It was a good thing that he’d kept his oath, that he hadn’t interfered and let me do what was expected of me.
I turned back around and realized that we’d already arrived in front of our room for the night, a guest bedroom because the Brascis believed it was bad luck if a married couple spent their first night in the master bedroom. Benito opened the door and half shoved me into the bedroom. I froze in the middle of the room, listening to the sound of the door closing and Benito’s steps. “You’re a real beauty,” he said, his voice already thick with desire. “I wanted to be alone with you all evening. If it hadn’t looked rude, I’d hav
e taken you to our room hours ago.”
Bile clogged my throat. I didn’t dare move from fear of vomiting onto my shoes. He gripped my arms and turned me around to him, then before I could even gather my bearings his mouth pressed against mine. I gasped, and he used the chance to thrust his tongue past my lips. He tasted of the cigars he’d smoked with the other men, and it made me feel even sicker. His tongue was everywhere. He didn’t give me the chance to do anything. God, this was horrible. My hands grasped his shoulders, fingers digging into his suit, and I shoved as hard as I could, but his arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me even tighter, giving me no chance to escape. His breathing was quick and excited. He was so eager.
I didn’t want this. I squeezed my eyes shut, fighting back tears and desperately trying to imagine it was Romero kissing me, but everything about this felt wrong. The clumsy hands on my waist, the taste of him, the way he moved his tongue like a dying slug.
Ripping away from him, I drew in a few desperate breaths. His taste lingered on my tongue. I wanted to rinse my mouth to get rid of it.
Benito stepped in front of me again and leaned close. “Don’t worry, sweetheart. I’m going to take good care of you. I’m going to make you a woman. You’ll never forget this night.”