by Mark Twain
CHAPTER III. A DIAMOND ROBBERY
FROM that time out, we was with him 'most all the time, and one ort'other of us slept in his upper berth. He said he had been so lonesome,and it was such a comfort to him to have company, and somebody to talkto in his troubles. We was in a sweat to find out what his secret was,but Tom said the best way was not to seem anxious, then likely hewould drop into it himself in one of his talks, but if we got to askingquestions he would get suspicious and shet up his shell. It turned outjust so. It warn't no trouble to see that he WANTED to talk about it,but always along at first he would scare away from it when he got on thevery edge of it, and go to talking about something else. The way it comeabout was this: He got to asking us, kind of indifferent like, aboutthe passengers down on deck. We told him about them. But he warn'tsatisfied; we warn't particular enough. He told us to describe thembetter. Tom done it. At last, when Tom was describing one of theroughest and raggedest ones, he gave a shiver and a gasp and says:
"Oh, lordy, that's one of them! They're aboard sure--I just knowed it. Isort of hoped I had got away, but I never believed it. Go on."
Presently when Tom was describing another mangy, rough deck passenger,he give that shiver again and says:
"That's him!--that's the other one. If it would only come a good blackstormy night and I could get ashore. You see, they've got spies on me.They've got a right to come up and buy drinks at the bar yonder forrard,and they take that chance to bribe somebody to keep watch on me--porteror boots or somebody. If I was to slip ashore without anybody seeing me,they would know it inside of an hour."
So then he got to wandering along, and pretty soon, sure enough, he wastelling! He was poking along through his ups and downs, and when he cometo that place he went right along. He says:
"It was a confidence game. We played it on a julery-shop in St.Louis. What we was after was a couple of noble big di'monds as big ashazel-nuts, which everybody was running to see. We was dressed up fine,and we played it on them in broad daylight. We ordered the di'mondssent to the hotel for us to see if we wanted to buy, and when we wasexamining them we had paste counterfeits all ready, and THEM was thethings that went back to the shop when we said the water wasn't quitefine enough for twelve thousand dollars."
"Twelve-thousand-dollars!" Tom says. "Was they really worth all thatmoney, do you reckon?"
"Every cent of it."
"And you fellows got away with them?"
"As easy as nothing. I don't reckon the julery people know they've beenrobbed yet. But it wouldn't be good sense to stay around St. Louis, ofcourse, so we considered where we'd go. One was for going one way, oneanother, so we throwed up, heads or tails, and the Upper Mississippiwon. We done up the di'monds in a paper and put our names on it and putit in the keep of the hotel clerk, and told him not to ever let eitherof us have it again without the others was on hand to see it done; thenwe went down town, each by his own self--because I reckon maybe we allhad the same notion. I don't know for certain, but I reckon maybe wehad."
"What notion?" Tom says.
"To rob the others."
"What--one take everything, after all of you had helped to get it?"
"Cert'nly."
It disgusted Tom Sawyer, and he said it was the orneriest, low-downestthing he ever heard of. But Jake Dunlap said it warn't unusual in theprofession. Said when a person was in that line of business he'd got tolook out for his own intrust, there warn't nobody else going to do itfor him. And then he went on. He says:
"You see, the trouble was, you couldn't divide up two di'monds amongstthree. If there'd been three--But never mind about that, there warn'tthree. I loafed along the back streets studying and studying. And I saysto myself, I'll hog them di'monds the first chance I get, and I'll havea disguise all ready, and I'll give the boys the slip, and when I'm safeaway I'll put it on, and then let them find me if they can. So I got thefalse whiskers and the goggles and this countrified suit of clothes,and fetched them along back in a hand-bag; and when I was passing a shopwhere they sell all sorts of things, I got a glimpse of one of my palsthrough the window. It was Bud Dixon. I was glad, you bet. I says tomyself, I'll see what he buys. So I kept shady, and watched. Now what doyou reckon it was he bought?"
"Whiskers?" said I.
"No."
"Goggles?"
"No."
"Oh, keep still, Huck Finn, can't you, you're only just hendering allyou can. What WAS it he bought, Jake?"
"You'd never guess in the world. It was only just a screwdriver--just awee little bit of a screwdriver."
"Well, I declare! What did he want with that?"
"That's what I thought. It was curious. It clean stumped me. I says tomyself, what can he want with that thing? Well, when he come out I stoodback out of sight, and then tracked him to a second-hand slop-shop andsee him buy a red flannel shirt and some old ragged clothes--just theones he's got on now, as you've described. Then I went down to the wharfand hid my things aboard the up-river boat that we had picked out, andthen started back and had another streak of luck. I seen our other pallay in HIS stock of old rusty second-handers. We got the di'monds andwent aboard the boat.
"But now we was up a stump, for we couldn't go to bed. We had to set upand watch one another. Pity, that was; pity to put that kind of a strainon us, because there was bad blood between us from a couple of weeksback, and we was only friends in the way of business. Bad anyway, seeingthere was only two di'monds betwixt three men. First we had supper, andthen tramped up and down the deck together smoking till most midnight;then we went and set down in my stateroom and locked the doors andlooked in the piece of paper to see if the di'monds was all right, thenlaid it on the lower berth right in full sight; and there we set, andset, and by-and-by it got to be dreadful hard to keep awake. At last BudDixon he dropped off. As soon as he was snoring a good regular gait thatwas likely to last, and had his chin on his breast and looked permanent,Hal Clayton nodded towards the di'monds and then towards the outsidedoor, and I understood. I reached and got the paper, and then we stoodup and waited perfectly still; Bud never stirred; I turned the key ofthe outside door very soft and slow, then turned the knob the same way,and we went tiptoeing out onto the guard, and shut the door very softand gentle.
"There warn't nobody stirring anywhere, and the boat was slipping along,swift and steady, through the big water in the smoky moonlight. We neversaid a word, but went straight up onto the hurricane-deck and plumb backaft, and set down on the end of the sky-light. Both of us knowed whatthat meant, without having to explain to one another. Bud Dixon wouldwake up and miss the swag, and would come straight for us, for he ain'tafeard of anything or anybody, that man ain't. He would come, and wewould heave him overboard, or get killed trying. It made me shiver,because I ain't as brave as some people, but if I showed the whitefeather--well, I knowed better than do that. I kind of hoped the boatwould land somers, and we could skip ashore and not have to run the riskof this row, I was so scared of Bud Dixon, but she was an upper-rivertub and there warn't no real chance of that.
"Well, the time strung along and along, and that fellow never come!Why, it strung along till dawn begun to break, and still he never come.'Thunder,' I says, 'what do you make out of this?--ain't it suspicious?''Land!' Hal says, 'do you reckon he's playing us?--open the paper!' Idone it, and by gracious there warn't anything in it but a couple oflittle pieces of loaf-sugar! THAT'S the reason he could set there andsnooze all night so comfortable. Smart? Well, I reckon! He had had themtwo papers all fixed and ready, and he had put one of them in place oft'other right under our noses.
"We felt pretty cheap. But the thing to do, straight off, was to makea plan; and we done it. We would do up the paper again, just as it was,and slip in, very elaborate and soft, and lay it on the bunk again,and let on WE didn't know about any trick, and hadn't any idea he wasa-laughing at us behind them bogus snores of his'n; and we would stickby him, and the first night we was ashore we would get him drunk andsearch him, and get the di'monds; and DO
for him, too, if it warn't toorisky. If we got the swag, we'd GOT to do for him, or he would hunt usdown and do for us, sure. But I didn't have no real hope. I knowed wecould get him drunk--he was always ready for that--but what's the goodof it? You might search him a year and never find--Well, right there Icatched my breath and broke off my thought! For an idea went rippingthrough my head that tore my brains to rags--and land, but I felt gay andgood! You see, I had had my boots off, to unswell my feet, and justthen I took up one of them to put it on, and I catched a glimpse of theheel-bottom, and it just took my breath away. You remember about thatpuzzlesome little screwdriver?"
"You bet I do," says Tom, all excited.
"Well, when I catched that glimpse of that boot heel, the idea that wentsmashing through my head was, I know where he's hid the di'monds! Youlook at this boot heel, now. See, it's bottomed with a steel plate, andthe plate is fastened on with little screws. Now there wasn't a screwabout that feller anywhere but in his boot heels; so, if he needed ascrewdriver, I reckoned I knowed why."
"Huck, ain't it bully!" says Tom.
"Well, I got my boots on, and we went down and slipped in and laid thepaper of sugar on the berth, and sat down soft and sheepish and went tolistening to Bud Dixon snore. Hal Clayton dropped off pretty soon, butI didn't; I wasn't ever so wide awake in my life. I was spying out fromunder the shade of my hat brim, searching the floor for leather. It tookme a long time, and I begun to think maybe my guess was wrong, but atlast I struck it. It laid over by the bulkhead, and was nearly the colorof the carpet. It was a little round plug about as thick as the end ofyour little finger, and I says to myself there's a di'mond in the nestyou've come from. Before long I spied out the plug's mate.
"Think of the smartness and coolness of that blatherskite! He put upthat scheme on us and reasoned out what we would do, and we went aheadand done it perfectly exact, like a couple of pudd'nheads. He set thereand took his own time to unscrew his heelplates and cut out his plugsand stick in the di'monds and screw on his plates again. He allowed wewould steal the bogus swag and wait all night for him to come up and getdrownded, and by George it's just what we done! I think it was powerfulsmart."
"You bet your life it was!" says Tom, just full of admiration.