This sense of dissatisfaction reached its futile crux one day in thespring when he received a letter from Julia--the last he was ever to get.The sight and scent of it stirred him as they always had done, filling himwith poignant painful memories.
"This is really the last time I'll ever bother you," she wrote, "but I dowant to know what has happened to you, and how you feel about things. Ican't forget. All our troubles seem to have worn some sort of a permanentgroove in my poor brain, and I believe the thought of you will be theretill the day of my death.
"As, for me, I'm in society up to my eyes, and absolutely without thecourage or energy to climb out. Those days in New York were the first andthe last of my freedom. Now I've been introduced to everybody, and I havean engagement book that tells me what I'm going to do whether I want to ornot for three weeks ahead. I'm a model of conduct and propriety for thesimple reason that I can't travel over a block without everybody that Iknow finding out about it.
"Of course it hasn't all been a bore. I have had some fun, and I've metsome really interesting people. I've gotten used to being married and myhusband treats me kindly and gives me a good home. Sounds as if I was akitten, doesn't it? Well, I have very much the same sort of life as akitten, but a kitten has no imagination and it has never been in love.Sometimes I think that I can't stand it any longer. It seems to me thatI'm not really living, as I used to imagine I would, but just beingdragged through life by circumstances and other people--I don't know whatall. I still have desperate plans and ideas once in a while, but ofcourse, I never do anything. When you come right down to it, what can Ido?"
Ramon read this letter sitting on the sunny side of his house with hisheels under him and his back against the wall--a position any Mexican canhold for hours. When he had finished it he sat motionless for a long time,painfully going over the past, trying ineptly to discover what had beenthe matter with it. More acutely than ever before he felt the cruelguerdon of youth--the contrast between the promise of life and itsfulfillment. He felt that he ought to do something, that he ought not tosubmit. But somehow all the doors that led out of his present narrow wayinto wider fields seemed closed. There was no longer any entrancing vistato tempt him. Mentally he repeated her query, What could he do?
His thoughts went round and round and got nowhere. The spring sunshinesoaked into his body. A faint hum of early insects lulled him, and to hisnostrils came the scent of new-turned earth and manure from the gardenwhere his man was working. He grew drowsy; his dissatisfaction simmereddown to a vague ache in the background of his consciousness. Idly he torethe letter to little bits.
THE END
EXTRA PAGES
_The Blood of _ _the Conquerors_
_ __ NEW BORZOI NOVELS__ __ FALL, 1921__ _
PAN_ Knut Hamsun_ DREAMERS_ Knut Hamsun_ THE TORTOISE_ Mary Borden_ THE CHINA SHOP_ G. B. Stern_ THE BRIARY-BUSH_ Floyd Dell_ DEADLOCK_ Dorothy Richardson_ THE OTHER MAGIC_ E. L. Grant-Watson_ WHITE SHOULDERS_ George Kibbe Turner_ THE CHARMED CIRCLE_ Edward Alden Jewell_ THE BLOOD OF THE CONQUERORS_ Harvey __ __Fergusson_
_The Blood of _ _the Conquerors_
ERRATA
CHAPTER II Changed: they were *untamable*, but boys To: they were *untameable*, but boys
CHAPTER II Changed: adventures were *comoposed* and sung To: adventures were *composed* and sung
CHAPTER IV Changed: your name," she admitted*,* To: your name," she admitted*.*
CHAPTER V Changed: only all-night *resturant*. Here he To: only all-night *restaurant*. Here he
CHAPTER VII Changed: haunted by lizzards and rattlesnakes. To: haunted by *lizards* and rattlesnakes.
CHAPTER VIII Changed: CHAPTER VIII*.* To: CHAPTER VIII* *
CHAPTER XI Changed: the game*,* But the To: the game*.* But the
CHAPTER XV Changed: nights they *visted* the town's To: nights they *visited* the town's
CHAPTER XIX Changed: saved from *furthur* punishment. Meantime, To: saved from *further* punishment. Meantime,
CHAPTER XXXI Changed: own living.{~HORIZONTAL ELLIPSIS~} *Its* not fair. To: own living.{~HORIZONTAL ELLIPSIS~} *It's* not fair.
CHAPTER XXXII Changed: of course* *" she added To: of course*,*" she added
CHAPTER XXXII Changed: * *For Heaven's sake, say something!" To: *"*For Heaven's sake, say something!"
Page 2 Changed: Harvey *Furgusson* To: Harvey *Fergusson*
The Blood of the Conquerors Page 44