The next thing I knew, Hopper pulled up to the Gamble estate front door. Braeden opened his door and got out, popping the seat up to make room for me to climb out.
“You coming?” he asked.
I shook my head. “I’ll go to the apartment.”
Braeden hesitated, coming back into the Camaro. “I’ll go with you.”
“No.” I insisted. “Go check on Ivy. See your kids.”
Again, he hesitated.
“We’ll stay with him,” Hopper told him quietly.
“I don’t need a babysitter,” I bitched.
Braeden ignored me to fist-bump Hopper and then reached back to ruffle Arrow’s hair.
Hopper’s eyes met mine in the rearview. “He’s an asshole.”
“He’s family.”
The ride to the apartment was silent. I hadn’t cared about my missing phone until now… until I felt completely cut off from Drew.
There were press vans parked outside our building. The vans were obvious, even if they tried not to be. Some photographers just stood openly on the sidewalks, waiting for a glimpse of something photo-worthy.
The second the Camaro was noticed, they started aiming their cameras. Hopper drove into the parking garage, making sure none of them followed the car before the gate closed. I hadn’t even considered the press until now. It never even entered my mind what the rest of the world was saying about Drew’s accident.
They ceased to exist for me.
All that had mattered the last three days was making sure Drew woke up… and worrying that he might not know me when he did.
I didn’t think about the fact that the press would be playing out every ounce of family drama they got a whiff of.
Now that I knew?
It still didn’t matter. As long as they stayed away from Drew, I didn’t care.
“The net is pretty divided,” Arrow said quietly. “It’s an outright debate over who’s right: you or Drew’s parents.”
“Let them talk,” I said wearily as we climbed out of the car. The parking garage was dim and quiet, the smell of gasoline and oil tinting the air.
It reminded me of Drew, and my throat squeezed.
Halfway to the building entrance, the distinct sound of a camera shutter filled the air. Immediately after, sneakers pounded on pavement and then a bright light flicked on, nearly blinding us.
I stopped walking, tossing a hand up to shield my eyes.
“Trent! Is it true Drew’s family doesn’t want you around him? Were you kicked out of the hospital?”
“You aren’t supposed to be here,” Arrow said. “Get out!”
“Is this why you never got married? Because his parents forbid it?”
A low grumble built in my throat. “No comment,” I bit out and started for the door.
The jerk-offs rushed me, the camera thrust back in my face. The lights making me recoil, and someone else latched onto my arm.
I reacted.
Wrenching my arm free, I spun, putting all my weight behind the fist I punched forward. The asshole who put his hands on me went flying back, landing on his ass. Next, I lunged at the camera with the offensive light, smashing it onto the concrete.
Hopper put a hand on my heaving chest. “Enough,” he advised quietly. “Let’s go.”
“My camera!” the man yelled. “You busted my camera!”
We headed toward the door.
“I’m going to sue you! You fucking fag!”
I stopped.
Spots swam before my eyes.
Hopper grabbed one arm. Arrow grabbed the other.
“Keep walking, Trent,” Arrow whispered. “He wants a reaction. They have more than one camera.”
It was hard. So hard to deny the sudden, violent anger boiling in my veins.
“Let’s go call and check on Drew.” Arrow cajoled.
I blinked.
“You can use my phone.” Hopper promised.
We started walking again, the reporters still yelling even after we made it inside.
19
Trent
* * *
The hollowness that assaulted me the second I stepped inside rocked me back on my heels.
His scent permeated the air.
His laugh echoed off the walls.
His presence was everywhere: in the sweats tossed over the back of the couch, the packets of ketchup littering the counter, his Xbox controller laid on the coffee table.
Moments caught in time. Life in this apartment frozen until he walked in and it all started up again.
I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t live in a world without him. I couldn’t even comprehend it.
If Drew didn’t wake up, who would put toothpaste on my toothbrush every morning? Who would buy the shampoo I liked?
I stopped in the doorway of the bedroom, bracing my weight on the frame. If I walked in that room, it would be gone too, our life that had been left on pause. Inside the room, we were still untouched.
The last time we were in there, we were together. We were both whole and healthy. The air practically shimmered with remnants of who we were. Of what I desperately wanted back.
I’d given Drew everything. He’d broken down walls I’d built over the course of my entire life. My father never wanted me. My mother only did her duty. I learned young to be a friend but never let anyone get too close. I learned it was better to be a loner than to feel alone among people who were supposed to care.
Then Drew walked into Screamerz.
His Mustang literally crashed through every wall I’d ever erected.
I’d been afraid. So fucking afraid.
But then suddenly, the fear wasn’t as paralyzing because we could be afraid together.
I was alone again.
Standing here haunting this happy place like a ghost, tarnishing everything we’d left behind with everything we’d come to be.
All I saw when I gazed around was Drew. I felt him. I tasted him. I could even hear him.
“Frat boy! Get your ass in here. This shower is too big without you!”
“Take off your clothes and come over here.”
“I love you, T. I love you more than anyone.”
I bowed my head, my fingers aching as they gripped the wooden frame. A hand covered mine, and I glanced over my shoulder.
Hopper stood there, solemn understanding in his eyes.
I turned toward him, and one of his arms wrapped around my back. I probably—no—I would have been embarrassed at any other time. I wouldn’t even have hugged him, let along clung to him like I did now.
Clinging to Hopper was better than being eaten alive by the love Drew and I left behind in this house.
Wait. No.
I wrenched backward, stumbling over the threshold of the bedroom and bursting the untouched bubble of happiness that remained.
It hurt. It fucking hurt like being burned by the blazing sun… but this was better. I’d rather cling to what Drew and I had and be eaten alive by it than try to hide.
Hopper stayed where he was. He didn’t approach, but he didn’t back away either. Arrow’s blond head flashed behind him. He turned whispered something, and then his husband disappeared into the other room.
I swallowed. My skin was vibrating.
“The first time I came back to the place I lived with Matt,” he said quietly, “it felt like he died all over again.”
“Drew’s not dead.” I swore.
“No. He’s not. Hold on to that.”
I nodded, the simple words somehow giving me strength.
“Instead of mourning all the love you feel in this house, let it fill you up.”
My eyes whipped up to his.
He half smiled. “I really do get it.”
“I’m sorry,” I said sincerely. Pain like this had a way of making a man forget other people could suffer too.
“Don’t be sorry,” he answered. “I made my peace with things a long time ago. But I still remember, and I know how you feel.”
I went around to a nearby dresser, pulling open the door. Drew’s scent wafted up around me like a cloud, and I shut my eyes. On the top of his stack of T-shirts was one I’d gotten him several years ago. It had the label of his favorite ketchup brand on the front. It was worn from being washed so many times. And it was his favorite.
A vision of him standing in front of me, smiling, wearing that shirt, his blond head messy and jaw unshaven, flashed before my eyes.
It made me smile.
Blinking back the tears, I grabbed the shirt and a few others, along with a bunch of other shit, and jammed it all into a duffle bag. Next, I grabbed some clothes for myself and a pair of Drew’s boxers and shut myself in the bathroom.
I wasn’t supposed to get my stitches wet. I ignored that rule. The water stung every cut and scrape on my body, and when water hit the burns around my wrist, sounds of pain hissed from between my lips.
When I was done in the shower, I pulled off the bandage covering the stitches and then dabbed off the water droplets. My knee was bleeding, so I had no choice but to apply a few bandages. All the other open cuts, I ignored.
The burns on my wrist looked kinda gross, but I didn’t have the stuff I needed to cover those so I didn’t bother.
Remembering the way Rimmel looked when she told me I smelled, I brushed my teeth and then ran a comb through my wet hair.
Once dressed in a pair of jeans and a T-shirt, I shoved some more stuff into the duffle and headed out. Before leaving the bedroom, though, I stopped, feeling a tug on my heart.
Pivoting, I glanced around again, taking in some of the love. A love so strong it stayed behind even when we physically weren’t here.
I breathed deep. My tank was empty, startling so. Slowly, I began to fill up, recharging. The bed was still rumpled from the last time we were in it.
The alarm clock Drew hated so much lit up my bedside table. A copy of GearShark and a random sock littered his.
A photo of us on the day he’d become the first NRR champion was framed on the dresser.
My tank didn’t fill completely. It wouldn’t until Drew opened his eyes. But it was fuller than when I first stepped in here. I was calmer too.
And less stinky.
Arrow and Hopper were standing in the center of the living room when I came out.
“Why didn’t you sit down?”
“It’s not our place,” Hopper said, knowledge in his pale-blue eyes.
He didn’t want to disturb any memories I might have with Drew. He didn’t want to somehow erase them or taint them.
I nodded, overwhelmed by the consideration. Also, sad that he knew how this felt.
Hell, he had it worse.
I couldn’t imagine. I didn’t even want to.
“We can go,” I said, gesturing to the door. “Romeo didn’t call, did he?”
“No.” Hopper confirmed.
I hoped that meant everything was fine.
“I’m hungry.” Arrow complained when we stepped into the elevator.
“You’re always hungry,” Hopper refuted, affection clear in his tone.
“We rushed out early this a.m.,” he grumped, rubbing his stomach.
A low laugh filled the small car, and Hopper put his arm around Arrow, drawing him into his side. “All right, babe. What do you want to eat?”
Arrow glanced at me. “What do you want, Trent?”
“I’m not hungry.”
He made a sound. “Well, I’m not eating unless you do.”
“Take pity on me,” Hopper said. “If I don’t feed him, he’ll be impossible to deal with.”
Arrow made a face.
“I know what you’re doing,” I commented.
“Is it working?” Arrow beamed.
I sighed. “Fine. You can hit up a drive-thru. Then it’s right back to the hospital.”
I really didn’t want to eat, but maybe if I did, I wouldn’t feel so dizzy.
20
Trent
* * *
When I stepped off the elevator, Romeo was standing there waiting.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, anxious.
“The doctor wants to take out the chest tube and take him off the ventilator.”
My heart rate skyrocketed. “When?”
“Pretty much now. We were trying to stall until you got here.”
“Why didn’t you call?” I demanded, racing down the hallway.
He kept up easily, saying, “Because the doctor just came in and announced it.”
“The parents here?”
Romeo made a sound of agreement.
Rounding the corner, I jerked to a stop, surprised to see the doctor standing in the waiting room with the rest of the family.
“Doctor?” I said, completely focused on the man in the white coat as I rushed forward. “You’re taking out the chest tube?”
“Mr. Mask,” he said, turning when I spoke.
A loud throat cleared. I didn’t have to look to know who it was. His angry vibes were stinking up the room.
I wanted to punch him again. I ignored him instead.
“Is it safe to do that already?” I asked, forgoing the pleasantries.
The doctor glanced back at Drew’s father, clearly unsure if he should answer.
“We’re all family here, Doc. Tell him whatever he asks.” The familiar yet unfamiliar voice drew my attention.
I glanced over, then did a double take. Turning completely toward the newcomer, I felt my eyes widen. “Camden?”
Ivy tucked her arm in his and smiled widely. “He just got here this morning.”
I’d only met Drew’s brother once before, and that was before we started dating.
“Trent.” He greeted me, stepping forward and offering his hand. “You look a lot worse than the last time I saw you.”
“It’s been a rough few days.”
His face sobered. “I know. That’s why I’m here.”
I slid a glance at Ivy, and we exchanged a look.
“I called in reinforcements.” She spoke quietly.
Camden always told Drew he supported our relationship, so maybe Ivy thought having him here would help with their dad.
But I couldn’t help but worry. Saying you supported a relationship from afar was a lot different than doing it when it was right in your face. And doing it in such stressful circumstances would only make it harder.
So while Ivy seemed to think Camden would be an ally, I reserved the right to be cautious.
Cam nodded slightly to me, as if he could almost hear my thoughts. He resembled Drew. Blond hair, blue eyes, near the same height.
Cam didn’t have the same sex appeal Drew had, though. At least not to me. He didn’t have overgrown messy hair or an unshaven jaw, and he was dressed more neatly than Drew. Instead, he was dressed in a pair of dark jeans and a short-sleeve polo.
“As you were saying, Doctor?” he asked.
“Drew is down getting X-rays right now. I want to make sure his lung is functioning properly, not filled with fluid, and that the lung is capable of filling with oxygen. If the X-ray looks good, then, yes, I think now would be a great time to remove it. Chest tubes can be quite painful for patients, so it’s better we get it taken care of before he’s out of the coma.”
“Is he coming out of that too?” I asked, hopeful but also scared.
“Not quite. We need to remove the tube and the ventilator. Once that is done and he’s breathing on his own, we can begin thinking about reducing the anesthesia keeping him in the coma.”
“W-will he be able to wake up on his own?” I worried. “You’re sure the coma is medically induced?”
“The swelling in his brain has gone down considerably. There is still some there, but it should all subside soon. Based on the tests we’ve run, there is no reason to believe he won’t wake up.”
“But what about his brain? Is there… damage?”
“Who do you think you are, asking all these questions?” he inserted, coming closer.
The doctor went on like he wasn’t in the middle of some bitter family war. “We won’t know the full effect his head trauma had on his brain until he wakes up.”
The sound of movement in the hallway had everyone turning around. Drew’s bed came into view, and I shot out the room faster than anyone else.
“Drew,” I said, slipping my hand into his. “Doc says you’re getting better.”
“If you’ll excuse me, I’ll go check the radiology results and be with you shortly.” The doctor excused himself.
The entire family filled the hallway, surrounding Drew’s bed.
Patrick appeared, relieving one of the orderlies. “Let’s clear the hall,” he announced. Today he was wearing forest-green scrubs. “Would you mind giving me a hand?” he asked nonchalantly.
I nodded, gripping the bed rail.
“Just one minute—” Drew’s father began.
Camden cut him off. “Dad, I want to talk to you.”
“I’m busy right now, son.”
“I just got here. You don’t have time for me?” He countered.
Romeo cleared his throat, moving to the other side of the bed. “I’ll give you a hand.”
I expected Burke to pitch a fit behind me. He didn’t. Maybe Camden would be an asset to this situation after all.
Once Drew was back in his room, all the machines were hooked up properly and the orderlies were gone. Patrick rechecked everything, then caught my eye and winked. “I’ve got to make rounds. Let’s pretend I forgot you were in here.”
I nodded enthusiastically.
When he was gone, Rome stood beside the bed, staring down at Drew. “We’re all pulling for you, man.”
“There’s a chair over there,” I said, gesturing across the room. “Pull it up.”
Romeo shook his head. “I’ll leave him to you. I’ll be outside if you need anything.”
“Thanks,” I said, still focused entirely on Drew.
When he was gone, I picked up the duffle I’d dropped near the door and pulled out a blanket I’d shoved inside.
It smelled like our house and was ten times softer and warmer than anything this hospital had. It was blue had French fries all over it. Carefully, I spread it out over him and then checked to make sure the cast cover was still in place.
#Fate Page 10