Grinning, Maddy rushed up and handed Adam the sticks. "Will you be back before I go to bed?" she asked.
"Probably not," Adam replied. "I have a lot of work to do up there so don't wait up for me."
Maddy reached up and gave him a hug, and said, "Don't forget to use the glow sticks," then ran toward the house.
Jack led Adam's horse to where Adam was standing, and said, "How much wood did you cut when you were there last?"
"A couple of cords," Adam replied. "The porch is stacked floor to ceiling so a person could heat the place for a month." He tossed the reins over his horse's head, then launched himself into the saddle, grabbed the mule's lead line and started towards the trail leading up the mountain, tipping his head to ward off snow that was coming at a sharp angle, with no sign of letting up.
As he crossed the clearing, the wind whipped around and the surroundings became hazy, but he knew that once he got to where the riding trail cut through the woods, he'd be protected by a canopy of trees, and the snow wouldn't be such a burden for the animals.
It was well over an hour before the trail leveled off and opened onto a hilltop blanketed in deep snow, but the first thing he noticed on seeing the cabin was smoke curling up from the chimney. He saw no sign of horses, so whoever was in the cabin had come on foot. It had been years since anyone had been stranded there, but one incident several years back convinced his father to keep the cabin stocked with food, a stack of wood on the porch, and the door unlocked. It seemed his dad was right again.
Tying Max and Gus to a hitching rail in front of the cabin, he pulled the snow shovel from Gus's pack and leaned it against the porch then bolted up the small bank of stairs to the porch, swept open the front door. And froze.
For a few moments he stood staring in stunned silence at the woman who was staring steadily back at him, her wide-open eyes showing equal shock. But after he'd reeled in his astonishment, he said, to the woman he'd once been engaged to, "What in hell are you doing here, Em?"
Emily Lindstrom, who looked like a deer trapped in headlights, said in a shaky voice, "I had nowhere to go."
Adam took a moment to digest that, before replying, "What do you mean you had nowhere to go. Where's Erik?"
"Please don't ask questions, Adam," Emily said. "I didn't intend to get you involved. This was the only place I could think to come where Erik wouldn't find me. He'd never expect me to come here."
"That makes two of us," Adam said, undecided whether to pack Emily up and deliver her back to the man she'd dumped him for, or try to hold his cool and find out why she was there in the dead of winter, in the middle of a snow storm. He could also go through the litany of questions she'd left him with, but seeing the pained look on her face, and the panic in her eyes, he shoved those thoughts aside, and said, "How long have you been here?"
Emily gripped her folded arms, as if trying to shut out the world and him too, and said, "Two days."
Adam also folded his arms, but for a very different reason. He was looking at a woman who had the power to turn his world upside down. She'd always had that power, even when she was dating a guy who treated her like crap, and she'd leave him and cry on good old Adam's shoulder for a week or so, and he'd about convince her to leave the bastard, and would be ready to pick up the pieces of Emily's life and make things right for her, when Erik would sweet talk her with promises and reel her in again. But he'd hardened himself to Emily now. He wouldn't fall into that trap again. But it didn't stop him from wanting her.
"How did you get here?" he asked. "I didn't see a horse in the corral."
"I hiked in," Emily replied.
"Then you had to have come from the opposite direction because you didn't come by way of the ranch," Adam said, "and that's a five mile hike up here."
"Erik insisted I be fit," Emily replied. "He made me jog with him four miles every morning, with fifteen pounds on my back. A five mile hike isn't much."
"It is during a snow storm," Adam said, seeing the uncertainty in her eyes, knowing she was lying. Or at least not telling the whole truth. But Emily was good at that. Just before breaking off their engagement he'd asked if something was wrong because her responses to his lovemaking had changed, but she'd managed to convince him it was pre-wedding nerves then proved it by making love with a passion that didn't seem right at the time because it seemed forced. Which it was. A week later she returned the ring and left with Erik, who was home on leave from the Army.
"So what's going on with Erik?" he asked, not really wanting to know the details because he'd been through this with Emily dozens of times before and was pretty turned off to listening to the same old discourse.
"He's changed," Emily said. "It happened when he was in Special Forces. I suppose you knew he was a Green Beret."
"Yeah, I heard something about that," Adam said, while trying to swallow the lump of jealousy that to Emily, the man she'd dumped was nothing but a cowboy, while she was married to a man who the whole damn town set on some kind of pedestal as an idol. "So he's giving you a bunch of crap right now and you're hiding out here until you throw in the rag again and go crawling back to him. I've heard that before. And just for the record, whatever Erik is now he hasn't changed. He was a manipulative shithead before you married him and he still is, except now he's a manipulative shithead with a green beret."
"He's also a dangerous man," Emily said, her voice shaky. "I've left him for good this time."
"Hell, Emily, you left him for good so many times I lost track," Adam said. "What's different about this time?"
"I divorced him," Emily replied. "It was final a week ago."
"Then why are you here? He's out of your life."
Emily started rubbing her hands up and down her arms, and Adam could see she was shaking. Still, he made no move toward her. He couldn't. If he were to walk up to her and she opened her arms to him, he'd be the same damn fool he'd always been when he was around her, and this time it wouldn't happen.
"He was stalking me," Emily said.
"Then why didn't you get a restraining order against him?"
"You don't understand," Emily said. "He got a restraining order against me. He convinced the judge I was mentally unstable, and that I was an unfit... umm... wife."
"An unfit wife?" Adam eyed her dubiously. "What in hell is an unfit wife?"
"Maybe I didn't mean that," Emily said.
Adam knew she meant exactly that, or some version of it. She was covering up something. But for now there was about two feet of snow on the roof, and if he didn't shovel it off the whole thing was likely to collapse. "You can explain later. I need to bring in the supplies, shovel off the roof, and try to figure out what to do with you. I can't bring you back with me to the ranch because you're not very welcome there, and I suppose you don't have any friends in town."
Emily shook her head. "If I can stay here a couple of weeks I'll try to figure out some place to go, but I need a job, and it has to be someplace where Erik can't find me."
Adam studied her troubled face, still beautiful, still able to make him feel things, and wondered what it would take to get her out of his system. He thought he had, until he remembered earlier today it was December 15th, and the reality of what it meant hit him. Then he stepped into Rick and Sophie's house and looked around a room filled with kids, and love, and womanly touches, and saw Sophie with the triplets, and Rick assuring her how it would be when he returned from patching up the dog, and it all came rushing back. Along with his resentment that Rick had it all. and he had nothing… except for a woman who was staring at him and looking like a wounded animal, and who was also feeding him a bunch of bullshit, because a gut feeling told him there was a lot more going on than she was revealing.
Deciding he didn't want to know what it was, he said, "I'll get the supplies and shovel off the roof so I can leave here before dark," then turned and left to unpack the mule.
He'd stock the cabin with food and make sure Emily had enough wood to keep her going for the nex
t couple of weeks while he looked into finding her a job, some place far away from the ranch. But then he'd send her on her way. The sooner she was out of his life, the better.
***
Emily glanced through the cabin window at Adam, who had unstrapped a large pack from the back of the mule and was hefting it onto the porch. He unfastened a rope holding it together and unfolded the flaps. As she watched him setting out grocery bags filled with canned goods, the full impact of Adam's presence hit her. His presence had always been with her over the years, but it had been intangible, unreachable, unlike when they were in high school and she'd call him late at night and he'd come, and he'd convince her to leave Erik… until Erik would twist her mind and promise her the world.
The mind control had been building steadily over the two years she and Erik dated, but it had been so subtle she'd been unaware of it. What she hadn't anticipated, after they married, was Erik loving her with the same intensity he worked his mind games. But it was a selfish love, a devouring, consuming, self-satisfying kind of love that literally felt like Erik was sucking out her soul. Which he had in a sense. Now, for the first time in years, she didn't feel like she was being slowly strangled. She was free of the psychological threats and emotional enslavement that kept her constantly aware that Erik was potentially a very dangerous man.
Free, unless Erik discovered where she was.
Watching Adam, and seeing the hard look on his face, she knew he was out of reach to her now. He'd never find himself in a relationship with her again, and she understood. But she had something of his he wouldn't turn away from, if he knew. But that was her dilemma. Jesse might be Adam's son by blood, but he was Erik's son by law, and there was no way Erik would give up that power over her. Adam was also no match for Erik. Adam might be a big man with the strength of an ox, but Erik was an ex-Green Beret who prided himself on having the brains and brawn to overcome impossible odds, and who could improvise in any situation.
When he was on active duty, his goal had been to have the toughness and killer instinct to win in any situation. For Erik, whether in combat or in a relationship, it was always about mind games and winning, until he'd become something between an animal and a human. Someone with the instincts of an attack dog. He didn't develop the killer instinct through the program though. He was drawn to Special Forces because the instinct was already there, waiting to be developed into the soulless machine he'd become. His plans now were to hire out as a mercenary and be the best there was, which, she had no doubt, he'd be. He had no conscience, so he wasn't hindered by remorse or guilt. He'd also continued the rigorous training that had become a part of his life in Special Forces, constantly pushing himself to the limits of human endurance.
Not wanting Adam to learn about Jesse until she had a chance to impress on Adam what was at stake, if he tried to fight Erik for his son, Emily stepped out onto the porch to keep Adam from going inside and said, "I'll take all that stuff in so you can start shoveling snow off the roof."
Adam stood, bringing his tall, muscular frame not more than a couple of feet from her, so close she could feel his warm breath on her face and see the pulse beating in his neck, making her feel things she hadn't felt in years. He also looked as if he were about to reach out and touch her, and from the intense look in his eyes, she wondered if he might. That look came back to her now, a look that told her she was the focus of his world.
Then the muscles in his jaw bunched, and he said, "Maybe you could open a can of chili and heat it on the stove, and make a pot of coffee. I'll need something before I start back."
Emily looked beyond him at a scene fading into darkness and almost obliterated by snow that was coming down heavily, and said, "It's going to be dark by the time you finish shoveling the roof. Maybe tonight you should consider—" She stopped short of suggesting he stay. If she heated the chili and made the coffee while Adam shoveled off the roof, he might still leave before discovering Jesse.
"I'm not staying the night in case that's what you were about to say," Adam replied, "and I don't need to tell you why."
Emily saw the hardened look on his face and the bitterness in his eyes. He had a right to be bitter. But if she could have just one wish right now, it would be to see him smile again, just one smile to let her know that somewhere inside him was the man she'd once known and loved. She still did love him, but there was no way she could explain to him the hold Erik had on her, or convince him that, even when she married Erik, she loved him still. She barely understood it herself. "Then you'll be coming back in a few days?" she asked.
"I suppose," Adam replied. "I'll do what I can about finding you a place where you'll be safe, but then you'll have to go." Without waiting for her response he grabbed the snow shovel, and launching himself onto the back of his horse, stood on the saddle and jumped to the roof.
Emily turned and went into the cabin and hoped Adam wouldn't discover Jesse yet. If Adam was bitter now, she had no idea what his state of mind would be on learning he had a son, and that she'd kept him from knowing about it because she'd been too frozen in fear of what Erik would do if Adam showed up claiming his son.
She also knew it was only a matter of time before Erik would track her down, and even though Erik didn't know about the cabin, he'd find her, like a shark sniffing blood, if only to take from her the most precious thing she possessed. Erik would be taking Adam's son as well because Adam had no legal claim on him. But if Adam knew, he'd fight Erik to the death to claim his son, and in spite of his size and strength, Adam was no match for Erik.
CHAPTER 2
Adam had just finished strapping the empty pack on Gus when Emily came out of the cabin with a bowl of chili in one hand and a mug of coffee in the other. He brushed off the snow from the hood and sleeves of his parka and stepped onto the porch and took the mug from her and set it on an upside down bucket, then took the bowl of chili, and said, "I could have eaten inside."
"I figured you were anxious to leave," Emily replied. "Are you sure you'll be okay riding back in this snow? It will be dark before you get to the ranch."
Adam thought those odd questions, like she cared some. "Are you concerned or are you just making conversation?" he asked, then realized he was acting like the jilted jerk he was, but being on the defensive didn't sit well with him, especially with the woman he'd been ready to lay down his life for, and probably still would if it came to that.
Emily raised her hand as if to touch him, which brought an immediate reaction from him, which he suppressed by lowering the hand he'd started to reach out to her with. Then Emily folded her arms, tucking her hands into the crooks of her elbows, and said, "I still care about you, Adam, and yes I'm concerned about you heading back to the ranch in the dark in a snowstorm."
For a few moments Adam said nothing, because his mind was trying to formulate something meaningful out of her words, when the fact was, they were just meaningless words to fill the gap in an awkward conversation, nothing more. "The snow and darkness are no problems," he said. "I could fall asleep in the saddle and Max would take me home." He shoveled a spoonful of chili into his mouth, then another, and before long he was scraping the bowl clean. After setting the bowl on the bucket, he lifted the mug and took a swallow of coffee, mainly to do something with a pair of restless hands, then went over to his saddle and, pulling his rifle from its scabbard, went back to stand with her on the porch, under the roof overhang, and said, "Keep it handy in case you need to use it."
Emily stared at the rifle, then looking up at him, she said, "What about you? You told me bears roamed the hills at night and you keep the gun to scare them off."
"I do," Adam replied, "but I'm not about to leave you here unarmed." He held out the rifle.
Emily took it, and clasping it in both hands said, "You never taught me how to shoot."
Adam let out a short derisive laugh, and replied, "That's because you never stayed around here long enough to learn."
Emily raised her eyes from the rifle and pinned hi
m with a pair of soulful hazel eyes that had the power of drawing him back into her messed up world, and said, "I'm sorry, Adam. I guess I've always been a thorn in your side."
"You've been that all right," Adam replied. "So pay attention and I'll show you how to use this thing. First, set the butt against your shoulder, and then..." He stepped behind her, and moving his hands around, nudged her elbow up, lifting her arm with the rifle. Wrapping his hand around her forearm he pushed the butt of the rifle tighter against her shoulder while inhaling the smell of hair that had almost escaped his memory.
Emily's hair had a spicy smell—honey and cinnamon, she told him years before, a combination she used as a conditioner on occasion. He felt her back pressed to his chest and realized she'd leaned into him and had tipped her head back against his shoulder. He nuzzled the top of her head and felt her lean further into him, and in an instant he was in protective mode, shielding Emily from Erik, from her messed up life, from the world.
And that was all it took to remind him that for years he'd been like a post to prop her up when she was down, and she was definitely down now. But he refused to be that post anymore.
Releasing her, he moved away some. While avoiding touching her, he placed his hand on the stock and pushed on it, and said, "Keep the recoil pad firm against your shoulder and look through this—" again, without touching her, he pointed to the rear sight "—and move the barrel around until the front sight's in between the notches, then slowly squeeze the trigger."
When Emily appeared to be distracted and not listening to what he was saying, Adam took the rifle from her hands and returned it to the scabbard, and said, "This isn't working. You'll need a shot gun if there's trouble. I'll bring one tomorrow and show you how to use it. For now, go use the outhouse while I'm here and you won't have to go back outside again until morning. There's an iron bolt on the front door of the cabin. It'll keep any stray bears out."
Uncertain Loyalties (Dancing Moon Ranch Book 4) Page 18