by Chloe Gunter
I love you, Gavin. Longing filled me for my men to be back, but I knew that we were doing more good right now apart, and sometimes that's just a harsh fact of life.
I love you too, cara. Gage sends his love as well. Now go eat and get some rest, I promise to let you know if anything else happens.
I must have drifted off, whether from the late night or stress wreaking havoc on my body, but when I came to, there was a hand on my shoulder.
Striking out instinctively, my fist met a wall of solid muscle, the impact sending a jolt of pain through my hand.
"Settle, killer. I was just coming to see if you wanted to join us for dinner." Reed's voice had me fully alert as I quickly inventoried the situation, my body relaxing when I realized I was in my room.
"Sorry," I said, blinking up at him.
"No worries, I can handle it," Reed said, wiggling his eyebrows at me. "So what do you say, want to join us for dinner?"
He looked so earnest and hopeful that I had the sudden urge to crawl out of bed and throw myself at him. So, I did just that, landing against his chest with an umph. His strong arms immediately wrapped around me, holding me against his chest like I was something precious.
Between the twins leaving and everything that was on the line with probation, it really put things into perspective on how I had overreacted.
"I'm sorry." The words were whispered from my lips , the ragged inhale of his breath rushing out as he clutched me even tighter.
"Me too, Char." His voice was hoarse and deeper than usual, the words falling from his lips like absolution for us both.
We stayed wrapped up in each others arms holding on to what we found until his stomach rumbled, breaking the silence between us. He led me out of my bedroom and into the kitchen, my hand clasped tightly in his, to find Ramsey already seated at the dinner table, drink in hand.
His eyes brightened when he saw us, trailing down to our clasped hands. There was something reserved about his look, something left unsaid, but he was still pleased to see us mending our friendship.
Taking my seat in front a massive serving of enchiladas, I took a second to observe the two men in front of me. They were both formidable in their own right, Reed looking like some Nordic warrior with his sandy blond hair and piercing blue eyes.
While Reed's energy was infectious and on the surface, Ramsey was a tightly coiled King Cobra waiting to strike. His every move calculated and executed for maximum effect, his dark hair and pallor leaving him looking like a classic celluloid dream of danger and desire.
Yet somehow, when the two of them were together, they were more.
A hollow ache in the pit of my stomach made my guilt rise, crawling up my throat and leaving a bitter taste in my mouth. It was moments like that one in which my skills seemed suffocating. Not when I was being morally ambiguous and doing whatever I needed to get the job done, but the moments where I desperately wanted to be able to lie to myself.
I was in love with two amazing men, yet somehow, when I looked at Ramsey and Reed and how they interacted together, want coursed through me like a jealous outsider.
It was too much for me to dissect, too many complicated threads and history for me to weave through to try and fully understand why looking at them made me feel happy and envious at the same time.
"Charlotte really worked me over this afternoon, darling," Ramsey said, breaking me from the thoughts that circled my mind.
"Please tell me it's recorded somewhere for my viewing pleasure," Reed said, a mischievous grin forming on his face.
"Oh, it's definitely recorded, but I made sure all the fun stuff was left out," I said, snickering.
"Tell me, love, did you know our Charlotte here is nothing short of an artist? Her crude line drawing of me bending you over a table is by far one of the most tantalizing works of art I've seen in my lifetime."
Reed choked on the bite of food he had been eating, quickly reaching for his glass of water to wash it down, his tawny skin flushed. He looked at me incredulously, obviously wanting some kind of further explanation, but I just shrugged.
"Maybe some time we'll pose for a still life for you," Reed said turning the tide and making my skin hot at the images now coursing through my brain.
"Darling, don't make promises you can't keep. You know you're never still when I get my hands on you."
The next morning I found myself nose deep in front of the feed the twins sent over, coffee in one hand, my eyes tracking and logging every move back and forth. The port was tracking over thirty percent more traffic then we originally thought, with at least ten unregistered vessels that had somehow been erased from the original satellite feed.
We needed to know what was on those vessels, and why someone was going to great lengths to keep them off of everyone's radar.
If someone had the ability to hack the GRAVITAS satellite, then there was no way that electronic communication was completely safe. Gage had assured me that he had managed to transmit the file with the feed he had collected securely, but I didn't want to take any more risks with them in case the situation went south fast.
"Recommendations?" Ridley's voice sounded behind my shoulder.
"The safest bet would be to play it slow and easy, let Gavin work himself into their operations even further and find out exactly what they're hiding. I'd limit communication with them unless either side has pressing information."
Ridley looked like he wanted to say more, but we were in front of a team full of people, all of which backed my assessment and relayed their components of the mission and recommendations on going forward.
It all came down to trust in the end.
I trusted my guys to get the job done and take care of themselves, just like they trusted me to have their backs here and take care of the mess I had gotten myself into with being on probation. Regardless if I wanted them home sooner, I had to do what was right for all of us.
Those thoughts served me well throughout the rest of the day, until I walked into Ethos headquarters that evening and found Reed suiting up, the thin metal crescent already around his neck.
"What's going on?"
We were supposed to be training the last of the Keys tonight. When I found our apartment empty, I took the familiar walk through the woods to the chambers, thinking that Reed must have already been there, getting things ready.
"You know the sensors that caught the mass amount of radioactive materials the other night? Well, they just went off again. It's too dangerous to everyone for that to be left unchecked."
"And since you’re both tactical and a chem whiz they're sending you in," I said, filling in the blanks. "What are the specs?"
"I'm pairing with Benoit from the European cell since we're the best bet for the job. I'm portaling over there, and then we'll make our way on the ground and assess the situation from there. They have something there that's skewing the readouts on our thermal sensors, so we need to find out exactly what we're dealing with."
"Alright, Mountain Man, what do you need from me?"
"For you to finish up your training on the Keys tonight while I'm gone. Katya is going to help you tonight."
"That's not what I meant," I said, giving him a pointed look.
"Come give me a damn hug, Char, and stop worrying. I know you can take care of yourself, but promise me you'll call Ramsey if you need anything while I'm gone, okay?"
Reed finished suiting up, going to the wall and outfitting himself with a few weapons and what looked like a utility belt, but was really his chem pack. With one last goodbye, he called open a portal and stepped through, disappearing from the room and leaving a chilly trail behind.
Katya arrived a moment later, brightening the mood and stepping in to finish my training. She was a no-nonsense bitch, but I loved that about her. Even when she was reaming my ass and making me push myself harder, she was constantly supporting me. It had been that way from the beginning, and it was the same way now a few hours later into our training session as she put me t
hrough my paces.
Sweat trickled down the small of my back, a dull throb pulsing in the base of my skull as I called up yet another portal, maintaining it until both Katya and I stepped through.
"Take us home, Ptichka."
Raising a shaking hand in a wide arc gesture, I held the image of the warehouse in my mind, my fingers numb from the continuous Spark use. Staggering through the portal after Katya, I ran my hand across my forehead, wiping my brow and warming my fingers at the same time before Katya passed me a water bottle, which I drank from greedily.
"What now?" I asked, chest still heaving from the exertion.
"Now you go lay your head down on your pillow and rest, knowing that you have successfully finished training for the last Key, my friend. Consider them complete."
"Thank you," I said sincerely, relieved that I was now up to speed and where I needed to be.
"No thanks needed, Ptichka, we're a team, a family. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a hot date," she said with a wicked look. Not sure how much of a date it would be this late at night, but hey, I couldn't fault the woman.
"Who's the lucky sucker?"
"Everett Donahue," she said with a shrug as she no doubt took in my shocked expression. "After Gage He-Maned you out of the bar the other night, we kind of hit it off."
Walking sounded a hell of a lot better than calling another portal, but all I really wanted to do was get home and get comfy. Reaching deep into my core one last time I cast an arc, handing the borrowed bracelet back to Katya, and walked through the opening and into my kitchen. I promptly grabbed a drink and plopped on the couch, dragging the blanket over me. Turning the television on, I blissfully zoned out, getting wrapped up into the story on the screen.
How are you doing, baby girl? Gage's voice filtered through my mind after I welcomed his gentle request.
Wishing you were here to snuggle with me.
We both know that if I was there that we wouldn't be snuggling for long. His laugh echoed in his teasing words. How was your day?
Filling him in on my day, I talked him through everything that had happened, concluding with how I had finished the Keys.
You'll be off probation in no time, I'm so proud of you and how much you've done in such a short amount of time, baby.
A flash of light and a thud had me sitting up and turning, only to find a body slumped against the hardwood floor, blood quickly pooling around him.
"Reed?!"
Terror and desperation raged through me as I raced toward him, taking in more details of the scene. My heart stopped, tripping over itself as my world came crashing down to a singular moment.
I thought he was on a mission? Gage voiced, his tone more alert.
Searching out and slamming against Ramsey's mental shields, I screamed to him for help as I fell to the floor beside Reed. Another flash of light and Ramsey was already striding towards us, his eyes focused on Reed as he quickly knelt down to him, assessing him.
Gavin's presence joined Gage's in my mind as Ramsey's hands ran over his lover, a faint glow emitting from them.
"He needs you." Ramsey's voice cracked, and when he looked into my eyes, I saw a man who was burning alive and hanging by a fragile thread. If It wasn’t the quickly building puddle of blood seeping from his torso that told me how dire the situation was, it was the sheer agony in Ramsey’s voice.
"Anything."
I'd do anything to save him, to stop the hollow feeling in my chest and that look in Ramsey's gaze.
"Place your hands under mine. You need to try and heal him, I—" he paused swallowing, "he isn't responding to mine. His Spark is weak from the initiation transfer, and the amount of damage is too great. It has to be you, Charlotte, you're the closest."
Time seemed to stand still as I placed my hands under Ramsey's. We both knew that the odds were against us, that energy wasn't meant to work in this way. Grief lingered on the edge of my mind, prowling for an opportunity to devour me whole.
But what helped me focus was the utter faith and despair in Ramsey's eyes, accompanied by the love that radiated in my mind from the twins. I closed my eyes and zeroed in on my Spark, focusing in on channeling it into Reed.
Remembering how his hands firmly pressed against my chest and my head, his solid strength at my back as we integrated in this very living room, I held on to the memory of how his Spark mixed with mine. The delicate dance they had performed to make me whole was now my guiding light in restoring the man lying before me.
Willing my Spark to flood his body into every bruised and broken crevice as I reached out to Reed mentally, I gave him everything I had. And then, I gave more.
Time passed in lulls and lurches, the hardwood floors underneath me were the only steady element of the situation, as I strained to find the frequency of his Spark.
Whispered words and memories fell from my lips and into his mind simultaneously. I felt nothing and everything at the same time, my body numb, but my mind filled with an outpouring of love and determination and gratitude.
The air rushed out of my body the moment my Spark matched his, the strain popping like a bubble. His mind synced with mine, even though he remained unconscious, and Ramsey forged a connection as well. His last thoughts weren't a horror reel of whatever had happened, but were filled with memories of joy and love.
Ramsey's image cast in technicolor as I watched the moment they met, how they fell in love, the struggles they had to overcome in order to be with one another, the sheer level of devotion. The memories came faster and faster, a tangle of sheets to shared smiles until a new face appeared, casting rays of happiness into the scene.
Me.
Watching myself from Reed's eyes, synced with the shared memories of his feelings, I clung tight to Reed as I watched myself through his eyes. Sending prayers to whoever was listening, I bargained my soul to just have another moment with the man who still laid like a crumpled mountain under me.
The scenes sped up again, a mixture of Ramsey and myself. I relived every moment of him as my sponsor, the complex twists of pride and promise, the conversations with Ramsey about my progress and his concern for me. Him working up to try and tell me that he was my sponsor, the deliberate choice in movies to try and clue me in.
Then there was me walking out the door, and him sliding down the wall in a broken heap, Ramsey next to him in support as he told him that everything would work out. As they admitted to each other that they wanted something more with me.
I inventoried Reed’s body as the wounds began to close, the bleeding finally slowing. My Spark was still working hard to repair the internal damage. I rested my head against his side, my eyes still closed in concentration.
A gentle hand caressed through my hair before fingertips grazed the side of my face. One hand still braced on Reed against mine, Ramsey caressed me as my body shook silently.
Seeing everything from Reed's eyes humbled me, the way he loved and gave of himself. The way he protected me even when I wasn't aware of it. There was no mistaking the overwhelming emotion for anything other than love. A pure selfless love I didn't feel worthy of.
Reed loved me.
And I— a ragged sob broke through my lips, making Ramsey's hold on me tighten.
It's beautiful, cara. Let yourself feel it.
Gavin's words were gentle in my mind, reminding me that they had been with me the entire way, offering unequivocal support and acceptance as I waged this war not only with healing Reed but with myself. It broke me even further.
I love you, Mountain Man, come back to us.
My body slumped further, the ember of my Spark dwindling to a flickering glow. Finally opening my eyes, I was met with the raging storm of Ramsey's grey eyes, tears unabashedly tracking down his cheeks as well.
The body below us abruptly turned, causing us to go sprawling on top of Reed's chest. Strong arms crushed us to his chest as I tilted my head up. And then, his forest green eyes met mine.
We lived a lifetime in that moment, the
infinite possibilities ticking through our gaze in wordless communication.
I love you too, Char. If it's up to me, I'll always come back to you. To both of you.
And with that, my entire body relaxed, and I fell into a deep sleep.
Grogginess settled like a thick fog in my brain, making my thoughts slow and my limbs heavy. The smell of pine and mint surrounded me, mixed with hints of leather and bergamot. Taking another deep inhale into the pillow, I tried to wade through what was happening. Based on the scents and the heat emanating from either side of me, I knew that I was definitely not in my own bed, and I was definitely not alone.
Raising a hand to my face, I wiped the sleep from my tired eyes, feeling rougher than I had after some of my more intense training sessions. The previous night’s events started trickling into my mind, and I lurched up.
A firm hand pressed on my chest and eased me back down to the bed as a familiar voice gently said, "He's okay. Everything will be okay. Just take another deep breath for me, Charlotte, and lay back down."
My eyes looked up into a blood-shot gaze, streaks of red running through his gray eyes like blood against steel, fitting for the war he had waged last night. Ramsey looked as rough as I felt. If the circles under his eyes were any indication, then he didn't get a wink of sleep last night.
"What—" I croaked, my throat dry and itchy.
Helping me lean up slightly against the pillows, he passed me a cup with a straw, the cool fruity liquid soothing my throat. Placing the cup back, his hand found mine, his fingers threading through my own.
"What happened last night was a long shot. It only had a slim chance of working, and I almost lost—" he paused, shaking his head slightly. Taking a rare moment to gather himself, Ramsey turned his attention back toward me. "Thank you, Charlotte. I owe you more than I'll ever be able to atone for."
Squeezing his hand that was still clasped around mine, I cleared my throat. "That's what you do for family."
The words were simple but true. They were my family now, along with Gavin and Gage. Thinking of them, my pulse raced, and the tension in my shoulders rose as I recalled more and more of what happened the night before.