by Chloe Gunter
The scent of bergamot that often clung to him was more prominent. I had always attributed it to the tea he drank, but it appeared that he also enjoyed the scent in candles and lotion, which were displayed on one of his shelves. I blatantly perused the room, all while Ramsey silently stood behind me.
"You wanted to talk, Charlotte," he said, gesturing to the chair by his desk.
"How do you feel about the fact that Reed and I love each other?" I asked going straight to the heart of the matter, not even bothering to sit in the chair. This conversation wasn't a laid back one, and I had no idea what the end result of it would be.
He fucking laughed.
He laughed as he pushed the chair aside and sat on the bed, his rigid posture nowhere in sight as he hunched over.
It was a laugh full of irony edged in pain, the sound bittersweet as it hit my ears. My heart dropped into my stomach as I watched his hand come to rub his temples, and I wondered if he had finally lost it. I stood in silence, watching the scene unfold, knowing that this man, and his answer, would make all the difference in my future.
"Charlotte," his voice came out sharper than I expected as he looked up at me standing in front of him near the bed, "it doesn't matter how I feel about it."
"You can't possibly mean that. You're both madly in love with each other, he's your partner, of course it matters," I argued back.
"It's because of that fact that it doesn't matter. When you love someone, you want the best for them no matter what. When you love someone as desperately as I love Reed, you put their needs above your own. So no, Charlotte, it doesn't matter how I feel about it. He loves you, end of story. Or should I say, beginning of story for you two?"
"It matters to me, Sarge," I said softly, at odds with his tense words. "I care about you, too."
"You care too much, love. And I really hope it doesn't destroy you the way it has me," he said, unbuttoning the collar of his shirt, shoving his fingers in the neckline to get more air.
"What the hell are you talking about?" I asked, confused. Ramsey has never once appeared even close to 'destroyed', but in that moment he looked manic, the ghosts of old hurt gleaming through his steel eyes as his jaw clenched.
"You say that you love Reed, and that you care about me too."
"I do," I nod, not backing down. "And I know you feel something towards me after all those memory flashes with Reed. I don't know what's between you and I, but I'm done not accepting my feelings for others. It got us in enough trouble this year. So yes, I love Reed. And yes, I think that there's the start of something between us as well."
He rose to his feet, the challenge clear in his eyes at my words. His entire body language was so erratic that I was picking up desperation and desire coupled with apprehension and agitation. All of Ramsey's carefully concealed emotions that he shielded away from everyone were now on display for me to see, my own personal menagerie.
Bracing myself for his next words as his posture straightened, I prepared for heated words, for a passionate verbal display that matched the tumultuous current of his emotions, but all that he spoke was one word. My name.
I barely caught it as he took a step closer to me, making me tilt my head up to keep eye contact with him. His dark locks were disheveled as those fathomless steel eyes stared into mine with the same hardness as their color.
"Do you really want me, Charlotte? Or do you just want me because you think that means that you get him?"
The words were spoken without any animosity, quiet and curious, but I flinched at their impact, my feet moving automatically to take a step back before he caught my shoulder, rooting me in place.
There was a vulnerability in Ramsey's gaze that surprised me. Coupled with his comment earlier about being destroyed by love, I was beginning to think that there was a lot more to Ramsey that I still hadn't uncovered.
"I've used people in the past," I said, looking into his eyes. "I've exploited their weaknesses and preyed upon what they hold dear. I've manipulated people. I've read their intentions, and I've twisted that into something that would ultimately benefit me or my mission in the end. I've lied, I've stolen, and yes, I've coveted. I'm not a perfect person by any stretch of the imagination, but what I can guarantee you, is that with you, I'm just me."
"Charlotte," he said, his voice still soft.
"What I've never done, and will never do, is manipulate and lead people on in my personal life for my own gain. That's my line, Ramsey. That's the one thing in all these years of work that I've never crossed and will never cross. So when I tell you that I care about you, I mean it. There are no ulterior motives to that statement."
"Bloody hell, Charlotte," he dropped his hand from my shoulder as he continues to stare at me. "I almost lost Reed, and you almost just had to have your brain scrubbed eradicating us all from you memory, I'm not ready to open myself up to that right now."
"I'm not asking you to," I parrotted. This time, I was the one grabbing him to prevent him from taking a step back. "I'm just a girl, telling a guy she cares about him, and wants to see where it goes. And also telling him, that she's in love with his boyfriend too."
Grinning, I broke the tension, and Ramsey gave my hand a small squeeze at my effort in levity.
"You two and your damn movies," he said, his accent having become more pronounced throughout our conversation. I watched as he took a deep breath and settled, the action causing something to loosen in my chest.
"I want you both to be happy. If you need to hear my express permission first, so be it. I'm okay with the two of you being together."
"And..." I said, fishing for more. Hoping that since he was still letting me see his emotions that he'd be open to sharing more.
"And I accept the fact that you care about me. I'm fond of you too, Charlotte. But the next time you have conflicting emotions, don't push us away. You weren't the only one that was hurting."
"I promise," I said solemnly, feeling grateful for his words. "I'm sorry, Sarge. I know I apologized to Reed, but I never did to you, and you deserve that too."
"We're human, we all make mistakes, it's how we come back from them that counts."
"Well, you were wrong about one thing," I said, my smile becoming mischievous as I flashed my teeth at him, looking more predator than prey.
"And what would that be, dear?" Ramsey asked sardonically.
"You aren't just 'fond' of me. You like me."
"Of course I like you, Charlotte. Don't be daft." I could tell from the exasperation in his voice that he didn't have any idea where I was going with this.
"No, I mean you really like me. Or have you forgotten the fact that I know how you look when you've come undone?"
Taking my hand out of his I traced a line up his arm and let my fingertips ghost over his neck. I could see his skin prickle, the baby-fine hairs rising straight off his skin as goosebumps appeared.
"How you looked at me until you couldn't take it anymore, throwing your head back as he swallowed you whole, your hands clenching the armchair."
Firm lips met mine, a quick but passionate kiss that ended with a sharp sting as he nipped the bottom of my lip. My body was flushed, both from my words and the kiss that held a note of promise.
Pulling back sharply, Ramsey seemed to look more at ease, his confidence and control firmly back in place as his tongue traced his bottom lip slowly.
"I thought you just said you don't lead people on for your own personal gain," he said testily.
"I wasn't leading you on. Hell, I wasn't even manipulating you. I was just simply stating the facts, Sarge."
"Something tells me that life with you will never be dull," he said, not rising to my bait. I could only imagine how fun his control would be to test in the future. "Now, I think we have a man to check in on."
"I couldn't agree more," I said, ready to see Reed, and to see where we stood, and what the future had in store for us now that I had everyone's blessing.
It was still early afternoon by the time we m
ade it upstairs to my apartment, Ramsey wanting to check in on Reed before he had to get back to work. Wellington had continued to pull strings to give Reed another day to recuperate, hoping that by the time he had rested, we would know more about who was behind the attack.
As horrific as the attack was, I was grateful for the outcome. The confidence to voice my feelings towards Reed, and to talk more openly with all of my guys. Walking next to Ramsey with sure strides, I waved my key card on the plate and opened the door.
Reed was nowhere in sight, but I could hear the sounds of music drifting through the living space from his open bedroom door. I nodded towards Ramsey, letting him know that I’d join them in a moment. But really, it was just as much for them as for me.
Our relationship was changing, I could still see myself having dinners and laughing with both of them, but I could also see how our already close relationship would develop into something much deeper.
Going to my room, I changed into some comfy clothes, glad to get out of my polo and work boots. The sound of an indulgent chuckle filled the apartment, making a small smile grace my lips.
Walking the span of the apartment and knocking gently on the open door, I was greeted to the site of Reed lounging against his headboard, dressed in lounge clothes, as a smooth melodic crooner wailed through his phone speaker.
Ramsey was sitting on the edge of the bed closest to Reed, his hand on his thigh as he gave me a knowing smile. It was gentle, and gave me the reassurance I needed to walk around to the other side of the bed and take a seat.
Reed's eyes had perked up when he saw me, his brows raising slightly as his pupils dilated. But he watched in silence, as I took a seat on the bed, then gave up all pretense and cuddled into his side.
“How about I set you two up with a movie for tonight,” Ramsey said, already grabbing Reed’s phone to switch the music off and select a new release from the que, the opening credits starting to scroll across the screen.
Just like with most movie nights, Reed’s arm came down to wrap around my shoulders, the feeling leaving me warm and comforted. Cedar and mint clung to him, the scent making me relax further into him as he began to rub small circles on the top of my back.
Tilting my head up, I looked at Reed, surprised to find a faint blush tinting his cheeks as the muscles in his arms contracted around me slightly, holding me closer. Want reflected in my own eyes, desperate to know what his lips would feel like against mine, to know what it was like to know him completely.
"I should go, I have some work I need to take care of," Ramsey said, breaking us out of our bubble, his tone colored with a twinge of angst and acceptance.
I could see the moment the words registered in Reed's eyes, the small flash of hurt and understanding that accompanied them. Regardless of the fact that he might respect Ramsey's reasons for not wanting to get too close to me, that didn't mean that he necessarily agreed.
Snaking my hand quickly across Reed, I grabbed Ramsey's hand that still lingered on Reed’s thigh. Resolve was written on his face, and I knew that I couldn’t push him any further, so I settled for squeezing his hand softly, hoping that he saw the gratitude and respect in my eyes.
He had admitted he cared, and the way he looked at me the night Reed’s life was in jeopardy, caressing my head with tears in his eyes, showed me the promise that the three of us were meant for so much more. If only he allowed himself to embrace it.
His hand slid out from under mine and an instant sense of loss ran through me, one I hadn't expected to cut so deep. He ran a light caress over my head that still laid on Reed's chest before reaching up to cusp his lover's head, bringing him in for a languid kiss.
Ramsey kissed Reed like he had all the time in the world. In essence, he was his world. And he showed that with the tender strokes of his tongue and the strength in which he used to hold his head closer. The intimacy and love that was shining through the two of them in that moment made me drag in a ragged breath.
When the kiss finally ended, Ramsey gently eased off the bed, pressing one more chaste kiss on Reed's lips before saying another goodbye and leaving Reed and I to ourselves.
Snuggling back into Reed to watch the movie, I was reassured that whatever happened between us going forward was fully supported by our guys. A rare blush flooded my cheeks as the implications of what that meant and what could happen between us fully sunk in.
“What’s that look for, Char?” Reed asked, and I turned to find his eyes firmly on me.
“I’m happy, Mountain Man. Despite everything that’s going on and what’s to come, I can’t help but feel happy in this moment.”
Reed cupped my chin, his full attention on me as he gently claimed my lips with his own. The kiss was easy, a rare thing for a first kiss, and it was like coming home to exactly where I was supposed to be all along. His lips were soft as his tongue licked against my bottom lip, requesting entrance. Opening for him, I got my first real taste of Reed that had me immediately going back for more.
Bracing my palms on his chest, I twisted slightly, swinging a leg over his lap so that I had better access. Taking his face between my hands, I kissed him again, the coarse feel of his beard beneath my palm.
Even before I admitted to myself that my feelings for Reed ran so much deeper than friendship, I noticed how attractive he was. Hell, it would have been hard not to based upon the situation I caught him and Reed in. One that seemed to rightly parallel what was happening between us now.
Strong hands trailed down my sides, his fingers immediately seeking the exposed flesh beneath the hem of my shirt. His touch was hot against my skin, and suddenly I wanted nothing more than to feel his muscled flesh against me. Leaning back, I broke our kiss, his lips following after mine.
"I need to feel you," I said, tugging at his shirt as he helped me slip it off, his hands quickly making work of my own afterwords.
We met once again in a passionate kiss, the low coil in my stomach growing hotter as I pressed myself against him. My hands tugged at his hair gently as his lips began to trail down my neck.
Licking a long, hot stripe across my collarbone, Reed's hands ran the span of my back. Finding the clasp of my bra, his fingers worked to undo it. Slowly dragging the straps down my arms, he peeled my navy colored bra off of my chest and stared.
His hands tightened around my waist, his grip tense as he continued to stare unabashedly at my chest, which was now prominently on display. My nipples hardened under his intense gaze and as the seconds ticked by, he continued to stare, leaving me held in place astride him.
"Reed?" I finally asked. At the sound of my voice, his tongue darted out to wet his bottom lip before reaching up blindly to press a finger against my lips.
"I need a moment of silence to fully appreciate the view that's before me. Damn, Char," his voice was thick, and judging by the firm bulge that was growing beneath me, it wasn't the only thing.
My body flushed under his attention, and I watched as his finger trailed off my lips before dipping down to follow the swell of my breasts, his other hand joining as he cupped me fully. The rough pads of his thumbs flicked across my nipples, and I rocked my hips up into them.
"You're acting like you haven't seen breasts before, Mountain Man," I said, grinding down on him again. He was starting to drive me crazy, sitting hot and hard under me, with his hands on me, yet still unmoving.
A sharp tug of my nipples had me swearing under my breath as he buried his head against my chest, his beard lightly scratching at my skin and making me squirm. He looked at me and gave me a wry grin.
"I'm pretty sure as one of your best friends, you should have told me if you hadn't seen a pair in person before," I said in mock reproach.
"Would you have volunteered as tribute?" he asked, making us both crack up, the effect making my breasts bounce in his hands, his pupils immediately dilating as he dragged in a ragged breath.
"Well, I certainly feel like a tribute now," I said affectionately, cupping one hand around his
face.
"Honestly, it's been a decade. And even then, they aren't you, Char." His words were tender as his head pressed into my palm, his hands finally starting to move.
Dipping his head, he licked another warm stripe against my skin, this time making the tip of his tongue flick against my nipple. Tilting my head back, I held him to me as he sucked, bit, and teased me into a puddle.
Fingers still locked in his hair, I tugged his head up, giving his slightly swollen lips a kiss before whispering, "My turn."
Reed certainly earned his nickname. He was a series of muscular mountains beneath my hands, and I wanted to trace and taste each one.
Dragging my nails lightly down his chest, I watched as his muscles bunched and relaxed against me. Wanting to give him back some of his own delicious torture, I ground against him as I dipped my head, swirling my tongue in patterns against his skin. I grazed my teeth against his nipple before taking it in and giving it a gentle tug between my teeth.
A moan slipped free of his mouth, the sound spurning me on to repeat the action on the other side. Scooting slightly back, I placed hot, open-mouthed kisses along his torso, all the way down until I reached the light trail of sandy blond hair just below his navel.
My hands went to the elastic band of Reed's sweatpants, wanting to feel him hot and heavy against my palm.
But in a move I wasn’t expecting, Reed cradled my head in his hand and flipped us flush over, pinning me underneath him as he settled within my spread hips.
He pressed against me while he claimed my lips, groaning as he ripped his mouth away once again. A whisper escaped me at the loss, my chest rising and falling more rapidly as I started to squirm underneath him, desperately seeking friction.
“You taste so good, babe,” Reed said, his lips once again on the move as he placed kisses lower and lower, until his mouth was hovering just below my navel. “I need to taste you everywhere.”