by Tara Chau
“Gabe, could you strap her down, please?” she says quietly.
Gabe hesitates before getting up and moving down to my feet.
“Gabe?” I ask, my voice sounding unusually small.
“It’s all right.” He assures in a soothing voice. “It is just for precautions. So, you don’t try to move while Astrid’s doing your signum. I’ll be here the whole time. You don’t have to be afraid. I’m not going to leave you.” He attempts a small smile, “I promise.”
Gabe takes one long strap and pulls it tight over both of my ankles, double checking them. Then he comes and straps my left upper arm to the armrest, again tightening it fast. Gabe reaches across my waist and draws one across me there as well. Afterwards, he pulls another, fastening my upper arm tight. Turning up my right wrist, he wraps the last one over my palm. There really is no way to get out of this. To move my arm would be impossible.
Gabe makes his way back over to his seat, taking up my left hand and squeezing it tightly. He only strapped the tops of my arm so I can move my hand slightly to squeeze back. He gives me a small smile, his gaze full of faith.
I turn my neck to look at what Astrid’s doing. She has carved a small signum against the bottle that contains the golden liquid. It lights up bright and powerful before going back down to its original golden colour. Astrid turns her body to face me and produces a small template that looks exactly like the picture Gabe showed me. She silently positions it on my upturned right wrist, placing it perfectly in the middle.
“Are you ready?” she questions.
I take a deep breath and nod, bracing myself for the oncoming pain. She opens the lid and brings it towards my wrist.
“Be brave,” Gabe whispers into my ear.
The pain cuts through my skin like a knife as Astrid carefully pours the blazing hot Angel blood onto my bare skin. I scream, one loud, high-pitched scream full of agony and fear. My arm is on fire. I thrash, trying to escape the pain. My screaming fills the room as Astrid continues to pour the searing liquid over the template. I hear Astrid murmur something to Gabe, something about the first layer being done. How many layers are there? My throat is parched and raw from screaming, but I barely notice. The scolding pain causes me to slip between dark and light, but the intense pain keeps me from passing out completely. The liquid feels like acid, burning into my skin, being guided to the weakest and exposed part to inflict the most agony. I stop screaming and started to sob softly, tears of pain streaming down my cheeks, unable to gather enough energy to do much else. The heat of the liquid is unbearable. It burns into my skin, biting away each bit of flesh that it encounters.
“Make it stop,” I said through gritting teeth, the words barely audible.
I can see Gabe from the corner of my blurry vision, his expression full of restrained sympathy.
“Are you nearly finished?” he demands, “I don’t think she can take much more.”
“We have to wait a few minutes for the first layer to set. Then I’ll do a second. After that, I’ll be done. She can handle it; she’s already gotten past the stage where people start to drop out.”
Their voices become white noise, lost in the sea of moans and cries that fall from my throat. Suddenly, the pain hits again, stronger than the last time. I let out an ear-splitting wail and try to struggle out of the straps with renewed energy. The straps dig and rub against my ankles and wrists, my shirt rides up enough, so my bare middle is also victim to the intense rubbing of the harsh binding.
“Stop, Dianna, stop. You’re just making it harder for Astrid to focus. It will take twice as long if you do not stay still.”
Gabe’s strong voice cuts through everything and enters my mind. I force myself to be. Still, it takes every inch of willpower to hold myself in place. I hold onto Gabe’s hand, using it as an anchor that is keeping me from slipping into the dark. Every single part of my body is forgotten except for my wrist, which is in tatters before my eyes. It is on fire. It’s sizzling! I’m still screaming and crying when a loud bang comes from somewhere far off.
“What’s happening? I heard screaming… Dianna? Gabe, what is happening? Let her go!”
Ty? What is he doing here? I hear fast footsteps coming, and I can see his golden hair shimmering before my tear-stricken eyes.
“What’s going on? Astrid, what is happening?” Ty demands, his voice sounding shocked and confused.
“Take him out. I can’t concentrate!” Astrid yells over my wailing.
I can feel Gabe trying to pry my hand out of his, I have no energy to hold on, so it doesn’t take long for him to untangle himself from my grasp. I let out a cry, not from pain, but because I no longer have Gabe with me, anchoring me, reassuring me.
“Don’t leave me! You promised you wouldn’t!” I say through sobs. Gabe flinches at the mention of his promise that he is breaking.
“It’s alright, Di. I’ll be back right away. I just need to take Ty out so he can wait in the front room.” He says quietly, his eyes swimming with restrained emotions.
“No, you won’t. I don’t understand why you would make her do this. Stop it, now.” Ty shouts in panic.
I watch Gabe as he takes hold of Ty by the arms and pushes him out, Ty struggling to get back. Gabe swivels his body, so he ends up herding Ty toward to other room, where he shuts the door, and with it, shuts off any self-control I had left.
I bang my head against the chair to knock myself out, but the pain keeps me wide awake and in agony. I wail and thrash without Gabe here to calm me. Astrid simply sits back and waits for me to calm myself.
“Dianna, I know it hurts, I’ve been through it, but you are so close. Just another few minutes, and I’ll be done. But you need to keep still.” Although I can hear Astrid’s voice, I can’t take in a word she’s saying. All I can focus on is the pain. The never-ending burning. It seems like it is all too much for just my forearm to handle, so the pain is quickly spreading throughout my entire arm, reaching past my shoulders and making its way up my neck. I look down at where the golden liquid setting. Deep red blood trickles down the sides of my wrist and falls onto the armrest, creating small puddles of crimson. Parts of my skin have blackened and flaked off, leaving my wrist burnt raw. Skin around the signum has starting to bubble slightly, misty white swells against dark fuchsia flesh.
I continue to hit my head against the headrest, crying full-fat tears. Again, a far-off bang echoes, but I barely notice it until I hear a low panicked cry come from that direction.
“Stop, you’re going to hurt yourself!” Astrid’s voice seems to come from the opposite direction. The information seems to go through one ear before flying out the other.
Another shout comes from where I heard the first one, so I look over to see Gabe running towards us.
“Dianna! Di, stop, don’t do that.” Gabe’s hand comes down on my forehead, steadying it against the back of the seat, keeping me from my futile attempts.
“You promised, you promised you wouldn’t leave, but you did!” I say with as much force as I can muster.
“That doesn’t mean that you can beat your head! Are you trying to make things worse?” he shouts back.
I have stopped screaming and have settled into a constant crying, loud and not at all lady-like. Not that I care.
“I-I just wanted it to stop,” I say, looking into his wide eyes.
“I know,” he says quietly. “I know, and it will. Be still. She is almost done.”
I close my eyes and try imagining sunny beaches and clear blue skies. The picture is a blurry mess. It helps, but only by an inch. Then an image of my mother pops out of nowhere, staunching my cries. A memory of something she used to say to me when I was scared, making me silently writhe in sorrow.
“Embrace it, and it shall no longer affect you. Stay strong, my gorgeous girl.”
More tears run down my face, I’m sure that my whole shirt is soaked with salt water, but I couldn’t care less.
“A
lright, she’s done.” Astrid’s voice interrupts my sobs.
I feel the straps around my feet come off, then the ones from my arms and then my waist. I’m so drained of energy I can’t even lift my head. The pain in my arm has become a harsh throbbing, still heated, but it no longer feeling like it is on fire.
“Go through that door and take a shower. The water will soothe it. The template was constructed to withstand anything but water. If you put your arm under the water, it will slowly collapse.”
I will myself to listen, to move, concentrating on shifting first my legs, then my body. My attempts are hollow and weak. It doesn’t work. I’m still sitting on the chair. Both Gabe and Astrid are looking at me with worried eyes.
“Here, I’ll help you.”
Gabe loops his arm under both my legs and places his other arm behind my back. He picks me up, holding me like a baby as he walks across the room to the door. I wrap my limp left arm around his neck and let my head rest on his shoulder, holding my right hand tightly to my chest. He shoulders open the door and sits me down on the sink bench.
“You’re alright.”
Not a question. I give him a wobbly excuse for a smile and nod slowly, whimpering as a wave of nausea hits.
“You can leave,” I say.
He smiles and turns to leave the room, closing the door firmly behind him. I sit for a few minutes before stripping down and hopping into the shower. Turning on the water, I’m careful not to let it splash my arm. After I test its heat, I take a deep breath and plunge my right arm under the water. The relief is instant. The throbbing ebbs away, as does the template, leaving me with a bright gold symbol for Iysador on my arm. The skin around the tattoo is a blazing red. The tattoo itself is a rich gold mixed with the colour of blood and coal. The black is peeling off slowly, and the bubbles no longer bulge drastically. I close my eyes shut and let the water beat down on my back. Standing here for a good ten minutes, I let myself relax before turning the taps off and stepping out of the shower. I grab a towel from under the sink and start dabbing my wrist dry. The throbbing starts to re-emerge again, so I dress quickly, hoping Astrid has something for the pain.
Opening the door, I make my way out of the room, where I see a small box sitting on the table. I glance around, no Astrid or Gabe. I look at the box closely and find a letter attached to it. Addressed to me.
These are for your signum. Put one on now and replace after every shower for the next week. Sorry I couldn’t tell you in person. I had to rush out. They’re band-aids and will help with the pain.
Xx Astrid.
I open the box to find some band-aids the exact size of my tattoo. I carefully place one over the slab of raw skin. The throbbing starts to ease, so I make a mental note to thank Astrid the next time I see her. Walking towards the door, I am about to open it when I hear talking coming from the other side. Gabe and Ty.
I know that I shouldn’t be eavesdropping, but curiosity overtakes me. I remember that Gabe said protectors could hear ten times better than humans, so I try focusing on the muffled voices coming from the other side of the door. Ty’s voice comes loud and clear through my mind. I’m doing it. I can hear them!
“Why would you let her do that?!” Ty whispers aggressively. “I’ve been doing everything I can to make sure that she doesn’t become a Protector. Gabe, you knew that! Even when you knew, you let her get that signum. I can’t believe you. We’ve been friends our whole lives. Still, you decided to go behind my back for her. She doesn’t belong with us!”
“You have no right to say that Ty, she is stronger than you give her credit for. Yes, I know I went behind your back, but I shouldn’t have to. I thought you understood, Ty. I’m going to do what is right, not what you want me to do.”
“Dianna does not belong with us,” Ty repeats.
A surge of anger weaves its way through my bloodstream. The need to go out there and defend myself is overwhelming, but then they would know I was listening to what is probably a private conversation.
“You have put all of us in danger. Don’t you understand, Gabe? She could destroy us. I wish that it didn’t have to be this way, but it is. It feels like I’m the only one who can see what’s going to happen.” Ty sighs heavily. “Where did you go, Gabe? The Gabe that was my best friend, wouldn’t let a girl come between us. I’m trying to do what is right.”
“No, you are scared. You’re afraid that she will become better than you. Because she is destined to save the world, and that’s what you want to do. This is not you, since when were you so jealous?” Gabe counters. “Come with me, Ty, help me train her, teach her. If we guide her correctly, she could really make a difference.” He begs.
A warm feeling goes through my spine. Gabe truly does believe in me. He doesn’t just say it when I’m in front of him, but he actually does believe it.
“No, she is just a girl. A girl who has you turning on your own brother. Yes, I agree she could make a difference. But we cannot risk it, and neither should you. Dianna doesn’t know the first thing about being a Protector. If we went out into battle with her, she would get us all killed.” He declares brutally.
Okay, I’ve had enough. I open the doors with a shove and walk over to stand next to Gabe. Pretending that I didn’t hear anything is hard. I look at Ty, who is gazing at me, his jaw clenched and face solemn. I look away from him and take my gaze to Gabe. His expression is familiarly blank, but I can tell by the way his shoulders are stiff and the way his fist is clenched that he is very angry.
“Gabe, what’s wrong?” I ask innocently.
He is still looking at Ty, who has sat down on the edge of a hospital bed.
Gabe looks back down at me, smiling weakly. “Nothing, are you okay? How is your wrist.”
I can tell that he is worried but still stuck in their conversation. I look down at his hands and notice that there is blood trickling from his closed fist. He must be digging his fingernails into his hand, I realise in alarm.
“Stop. Gabe, you’re hurting yourself.” I shout in panic.
He raises his hand and unclenches his fist. Blood is covering his hand, and he just looks at it in surprise.
“I didn’t even realise.” He protests.
I whirl my body to face Ty and march up towards him, “Leave.” I say forcefully, unable to meet his eyes.
“Di…” he begins.
“Only my friends can call me that. Do you know what friends are? Friends are people who take care of you, listen to you, love you and have faith in you. Obviously, you have none of those feelings towards me, so you can leave. Now, before I hurt you, again.” I put force and emotion into my words, trying to make Ty feel guilty. It hurts me to say this to him.
I really did consider him a friend. Hearing him say those words were nearly as painful as being stabbed. Ty rises from the bed and exits through the open door of the infirmary. I glare after him, my chest rising and falling in quick movements. Slowly making my way over to Gabe, I force him to sit on a chair so I can look at his hand.
“Just leave it Di, Protectors heal fast, remember? It will be gone within the hour.”
I nod but still go to the sink to grab a wet towel, using it as an excuse to forget about Ty’s words. I carefully wipe away the blood from his hand. He peers at me with a thoughtful face, looking at me like the conversation with Ty never happened.
“I heard you and Ty. I used my super hearing to listen to you. Are you proud of me?” I try to sound like a child, happy and proud of a colourful drawing I’d had just done.
But Gabe looks at me in horror, realising that I must have heard everything Ty had said about me.
“H-how much?” he stutters.
I look at him with a sad expression. “Um, I started to listen when Ty said he was trying to do everything to stop me from being a Protector, how I don’t belong here,” I say regretfully.
“Di…I’m so sorry you had to hear that. You know that I would never agree with Ty on that, do
n’t you? Never.” He says honestly.
“I know.”
“I can’t walk in there,” I say to Gabe as we head up my driveway. “He will see my bandage.”
“He won’t, it has a glamour, and he is a mortal.”
“Damn it. There goes my excuse.” I mutter, glaring at him.
“Why on earth would you need an excuse?” he states.
“Because I wanted to go back to the Sanctuary so you could teach me to fight,” I complain.
“I already told you, no. You need to rest. After that process, it will take you a day or two just to get your energy back up. No fighting till then.” He says strictly and unapologetically.
I stare daggers at him, mentally willing him to let me go back and train with him. His expression remains the same, nonwavering and serious.
“Ahh.”
I stomp up the driveway, purposefully making it dramatic but serious at the same time. I can hear the faint chuckle as Gabe watches me slam the door. I reopen it to find him still standing at the edge of the driveway smiling brightly up at me.
“Stuff you, Gabe!” I shout before re-slamming the door.
I silently laugh and peek out the window. His back is turned in the direction of the Sanctuary but suddenly swivels around, spies me watching him, and winks before vanishing. I assume he’s just run off. Considering how fast he is, I’m not the least bit surprised by the way he disappears.
I turn around to find my dad watching me, his head showing slightly through the door that leads to the kitchen. I walk over to the entrance, and he shuffles away. He obviously didn’t notice that I saw him. Opening the door, I strut into the kitchen, head held high and shoulders thrown back. Making my way over to the fridge, I pull out some of last night’s dinner and shove it into the microwave, turning to face my dad, who is still watching me with concerned eyes.