by Justine Dee
****
Gwyn sighed and became slowly aware of a funny feeling in her left arm. She tried to move it and had no idea if she was succeeding. Bright light burned beyond her eyelids. She blinked them finding sunlight, quickly she covered her face with her right arm. She realised in moving her right arm that the fuzzy left arm was in fact trapped between her body and a couch.
A couch?
Myrddin’s couch.
She wiggled and rolled onto her back and after a few more moments lying there, realised that she had become so relaxed in Myrddin’s foot massage that she had fallen asleep. She noticed there was a crocheted blanket over her and even a pillow under her head. Ever the gracious host, but Gwyn was slightly put out. She had wanted to talk more about her past. Gwyn wondered if Myrddin had drugged her to get her to sleep but when she thought on it she realised he would not have had to. Yesterday had been a long day; the plane ride from New York to London, the drive out to the forest, the trek up to the hilltop, and then once full on dinner and hot chocolate it would not have taken much to put her to sleep.
She jokingly cursed him aloud anyway.
“Now that isn’t very nice at all, especially when I come bearing coffee and croissants.” Myrddin replied coming into the room with a large tray in front of him.
“I could marry you right now. Foot rubs and a yummy breakfast, a girl could get used to this.”
“Now I would know better than to try and lay a claim to you in any way, especially a permanent way like marriage. I like my head attached to my shoulders.”
“I am single. I don’t have some towering husband to come and knock your block off.” Gwyn scoffed at Myrddin’s words as her fingers wiped the remnants of sleep from her eyes. She yawned and stretched as he balanced the tray on the end of the coffee table. She watched him in the moments before her eyes automatically closed.
“No but I know of two men who would see fit to knock it off anyway.” Myrddin replied, smiling as he set a plate and mug down beside her. He took his with him to a rather comfortable looking chair that was positioned in the stream of sunlight pouring in through the window. Gwyn realised that the curtain over the window had been shut last night so he had clearly opened it recently to wake her.
“Interesting thought,” Gwyn shrugged. For two men who would hurt to retain a claim on her, Lance and Adrian did a bang up job of not being in her life. How could someone care about you and not want to be part of your life?
“Trust me on this. They both would fight for you.”
“But they don’t.” Gwyn felt a familiar anger rise up in her. Yes she had pushed them both away, one had to be done, the other... well regardless neither had put up any fight to try and stay. Both men had gone, just walked away, left her and not looked back.
Lance... not a day went by that Gwyn did not miss him. She had lost count of how many times she had thought about reaching out to make contact with him again, everything had crossed her mind--emailing, texting, making a call, turning up on his doorstep. But she did not. She was of the opinion that if he wanted to be in her life, he would show it. He did not so he must not and no matter how much that hurt, it was just the way it was. Gwyn ripped her croissant up trying to block the feelings she did not want to deal with and she did not want to share.
“Easy on the croissant, Gwyn, it’s an innocent in this.” Myrddin said, his voice was soft and there was a teasing tone to it but there was more. Gwyn did not want to look at his face, knowing the pity it would hold.
“I can’t speak for them, it isn’t my place.” Myrddin continued after they had been silent for nearly ten minutes. Gwyn still had not eaten any of the pastry in her hands.
“Then don’t.” Gwyn did not know why he had brought it up if he was just going to upset her and then cowardly back out of taking any responsibility for it. Talking about this always made her emotional, most often it sent her to sadness but sometimes, like now, the pain hurt too much to feel sorry for herself. She had to lash out and right now Myrddin was here to turn her anger on. It was not fair but emotions so often were not. Emotions did not follow logic, they followed the heart.
“Why are we talking about this?”
“Because you are all going to have to find some peace and work together.”
“What?” Gwyn sat up at that comment. “I thought...”
“That they had been denied their place with the Hunt? They have served their punishment for that night and have received their Call. Both are now back where they are meant to be and your paths will begin to cross soon.”
Gwyn was too stunned to even swear. Myrddin moved to her side and put his arm around her. She was stiff in his arms trying to process this news. Lance had been restored to the Hunt but he had not come back to her. It was like a punch in the face.
“I hope that in this life, maybe you three can untangle the web you wove that has tainted each life since. I hate seeing you all in pain and repeating that pain so often.”
Gwyn just nodded in response. It was one thing to know that Lance was most likely not coming back to her; however, to know he could have and had not was another thing entirely. To know he had turned his back on her, and did not care, hurt. Hell, for all she knew he had probably moved on and loved someone else now. Gwyn could not breathe as she sat there. She started to feel her stomach knot; she felt sick, physically sick, at the thought of Lance touching someone else, wanting someone else. She could not bear the thought at all. And Myrddin was telling her that she was going to have to set that all aside to get the job done? She knew the fates had a strange sense of humour but this was cruel, this was a cruelty that Gwyn had hoped would not be turned on her ever again but there it was.
And what of Him? She was still so angry with him she refused to say his name. He who had been her first serious relationship, he who had loved her and then turned so cruel. And she had hurt him, she had been just as cruel and it had cost all three of them in the end.
“Come back to me, Gwyn.”
Gwyn jerked physically as Myrddin spoke and drew her from her thoughts.
“This is why I was there last night; I was picked to be bearer of bad news. The same news I have already shared with them.”
Gwyn wanted to ask how they took it, what was said, had they talked about her? But she did not for fear of what the answers might be. It was better to not know; it was easier to not know.
“When is your flight back?” Myrddin asked after she had been silent for longer still.
“I have to be there for check in and security by 4pm.”
“We’ll have to leave soon then. I’ve organised for your car to be picked up from the rest area where you left it, and I’ll drive you. If we leave in half an hour, we won’t end up stressing you out if the traffic locks up. I do not want to be stuck in a car with you running late ever again.”
Gwyn found her laugh. “That guy had it coming.”
“I don’t think what you suggested is even physically possible.”
“I would have paid good money for him to try it.” Gwyn smiled and set aside her pain for a while more. She was good at that game of pretend, an expert. “Can I grab a shower before we go?”
“Towels are waiting on the basin for you. Just don’t use up all my shampoo; I know how good it smells.”
“I promise.” Gwyn let him stand them both up and she impulsively hugged him. He hugged her back and his hug was firm and comforting. She could not remember the other lives where they had not gotten along but in this life they were family. He was one man she could always count on, one man who would not willingly bring her harm.