by Justine Dee
****
Adrian sat on the couch watching Lance at the window. It was a strange place they had come to. It had taken Adrian ending up in traction to get his head in check. Lifetimes of issues perhaps finally sorted. He had forgiven himself, forgiven Lance and finally forgiven Gwyn. It did not mean he was over it all, he was still hurt, still loved Gwyn in a way, but he had finally, maybe, accepted it was not his side she was meant to be at, that he had hurt her more than she had ever hurt him.
Honestly he was ashamed of the shit he had pulled in this life and especially in the others. Bloody hell, what kind of man treats a woman that way? Adian did not know if she was going to agree to come to dinner, but he was ready to make peace with her. He had been for a while but it hadn’t been time; she had not been ready for it but no one had realised just what she was going through until Myrddin had seen her. She was breaking down inside and she was not going to be any good to herself, let alone the Hunt, unless she got her power and strength back and the truth was that as much power as she had with him, she had more with Lance, in almost every life.
It was time for her to be awakened and become the woman she was meant to be. Adrian could not destroy her again in this life as he had tried to do in others. She was always meant to be with Lance, not him, and now, finally, in this life Adrian could accept that and move on. Maybe, one day, even find the soul that he was meant for, the one that had always been there.
“I don’t know if I can do it.”
Adrian looked up at the comment, his large dark skinned hand smoothing against the contrasting cream fabric of the chair. His eyes watched Lance’s form as his foster brother fidgeted with the drapes that hung against the window. Adrian could hear Lance’s uneven breathing; the guy was clearly nearing a panic attack at the thought of Gwyn, of seeing her tonight.
“Relax, man, you don’t even know she’s going to agree to see us yet. Honestly, my money is on a big hell no and I can’t say I blame her much given the shit we both pulled. Valid or not.” He held up a hand to silence the protest that Lance may or may not start. “You can’t deny we both screwed her over in our own ways, regardless of what she did, all she did was follow her heart and then lose confidence in herself. And that’s my fault. I started her down that path and I doubt she’s going to come to dinner tonight, but it’s the first step, the olive branch. You heard Myrddin. We just have to keep at it until she agrees, in her own time.”
“I know, I know! God all right already,” Lance growled. His tall frame was silhouetted as he pulled back the curtain and the motion light outside lit him up in the dimmer interior of the room. “What if she hates me?”
“If she hates you she hates you and we work with it.” Adrian did not believe in sugar coating and lies; he shot straight from the hip, always had. “And if she still loves you, we’ll all have to deal with that.”
“And if she still loves you?” Lance was not trying to be argumentative, he was just wound tight, scared.
“I'm not going to lie, Lance. If she still loved me, I’d be there like a shot but I already know she doesn’t. She will still love me, always love me, we’ll always be bound but she won’t be in love with me. She hasn’t been for a long time and never like she is with you. It’s taken me a long time to deal with that fact, centuries in fact because everyone is meant to bloody love me.” Adrian chuckled, settling back into the chair.
Lance huffed at him; they’d known each other since they were boys and Adrian’s mother had taken Lance in. Though, because of their shared feelings for the same woman, they had stopped talking for a long while. They were always brothers and now that they had made their peace with each other, that bond was back to the way it was meant to be.
Adrian started forward in his chair as the door opened behind him; Lance dropped the curtain, turning almost in sync. An unsurprised, yet saddened, sigh rumbled from Adrian’s lips as Myrddin entered alone.
“She wouldn’t come.”
“Not yet.”
Myrddin saw the look on Lance’s face as it fell, he wished he could tell him the words he had overheard, the heartbreak when Gwyn spoke that Lance no longer wanted her but he could not. Lance needed to do this for the right reasons, not out of some vague hope that he might win her back. He needed to want to make peace with Gwyn for his own sake and for hers and not just for the hope of love, as powerful as that hope should be in the case of them, there was more at stake than just love. When the war came they would need to stand together, no matter where their hearts lay.
“She couldn’t do it. I could see how confused and conflicted she was by my request; she wanted to say yes but she is still too fragile. She couldn’t bring herself to do it. So we will continue on as we must and we will try again and again. I have a plan, never fear.” Myrddin tucked his thumbs into his jacket and gave the two a charming, one might say cocky, smile. “Familiar souls to us all are with her already and through them I think we can begin to awaken her and heal her and return her to us. She does not even know how far she is gone from us; the pain inside her blinds her too much.”
“I’m going for a walk.” Lance stalked from the room, fists balled right, back rigid.
Adrian stood to follow but Myrddin laid a hand against his chest.
“Let your brother go, he needs to work through this, we cannot always be there for him.”
Adrian relented to Myrddin’s counsel, as he so often did, and let his brother go and cool off in the evening air. Myrddin gestured for Aidan to sit down again.
“You and I need to talk; it might be time for Logan to renew old acquaintances too.”