by D'Ann Lindun
“Dear God.” Lily didn’t know what else to say as the horror of it washed over her.
“I let Amy down,” he said in a rough voice. “Her death is on me.”
“What? No.” Lily rolled to her side and cupped his chin in her hand, forcing him to look at her. “It’s not your fault. It’s on those awful kidnappers. They’re to blame, not you.”
A shudder ripped through his body. “I should have been there on time. If I had been—”
“You both would have been taken and murdered.” Lily took her hand from his and held his face with both palms. “Listen to me, Will. Holding yourself responsible for Amy’s death is martyrdom. That would be like me blaming myself for Jeff’s cancer.”
“Most people don’t see it that way,” he said. “Most feel like I do. That I let her down. Parents. Brothers. My superiors in the army especially weren’t impressed. I wasn’t dishonorably discharged, but I could have been.”
“If most people see it that way they’re fools. She pressed on. “If what you’re saying is true then you have to blame Amy, too.” When he shook his head, she nodded. “Yes. She planned to meet you, so it’s partly her own fault she was taken.”
“No.” He sounded strangled.
“Can’t you see how ridiculous this self-blaming is?” Lily prayed her words were somehow getting through. “You’re holding onto all this pain, beating up on yourself, when what happened was just a terrible tragedy of war.”
“A tragedy I brought on myself. And the woman I loved.”
Lily took a deep breath. She dug deep for some of the advice that had been given to her in the last year from the grief group members. “Listen to me, Will. Are you going to spend the rest of your life living under this cloud of guilt? Stuck there? Or are you going to put it away and move forward?”
He let out a ragged breath. “I want to move forward. I just don’t know how to leave it behind.”
“You’re such a wonderful person. Don’t you see that?” She looked deep into his shadowed eyes. “All I see when I look at you is a good man.”
A tiny light of hope sparked in his eyes. “You mean that?”
“Absolutely.”
“Ah, Lily. You’re so special.” He brushed a strand of hair off her cheek. She caught his hand and held it.
“Make love to me, Will.”
For a moment, she didn’t think he was going to respond. “Are you sure, Lily? Even after what I just told you?”
“I’ve never been more certain of anything in my life.” Placing her hands on either side of his head, she bent forward and brushed his lips with hers. “Now make love to me.”
“Yes, ma’am.” He pulled her on top of him and circled her waist with his arms, holding her against his big body. He slid his hands down and cupped her behind, sending a shiver rocketing up Lily’s back.
Mounting him, she rocked against his erection pressing against the middle seam of her jeans. Wet heat flooded her and she squirmed against his rigid penis.
She sat up to allow him take off her top; he threw it aside. She unsnapped the buttons on his western shirt and he shrugged out of it. Goosebumps rose on her skin when he undid the front clasp of her bra. With a gentleness that belied his urgency, Will slid the straps from her shoulders, baring her breasts to his hot gaze. Splaying his hands across her upper back, he tipped her forward and took a beaded nipple in his mouth. Lily moaned and dug her fingers into his chest as he sucked deep.
When he changed sides the cool evening air caressed her damp, erect nipple. A wave of unbridled desire washed over her and she pressed her center against the hard length of him again. A moan of dissatisfaction slipped out of her.
He took his mouth from her breast. “That’ll work even better without clothes.”
Uncertain, she hesitated. Should she undress herself first? Or him?
“Let me.” Will reached for the snap of her jeans. She slid off him and onto her back to wriggle out of her snug Levi’s. After Will helped her, he kicked free of his own boots and Wranglers.
In the dappled moonlight he was magnificent.
Muscled. Masculine. Male.
He settled on top of her, but held his weight off with his elbows.
She swallowed. “Will, I—”
He silenced whatever she planned to say with a kiss. His lips covered hers, prying them open to taste, tease and torment until she gasped. The hair on his chest brushed her erect nipples, making her stomach clench.
Holding himself up with one hand, Will pinched her nipples between his fingers until she thought she’d scream. Maybe she did. She wasn’t sure.
Will settled his weight between her thighs, the tip of his erection prodding her damp opening. He slid a hand between them, over her clit. She did cry out then. And dug her nails into his shoulders.
“I can’t wait.” She arched her hips. “Please.”
“Hold on, baby.” He reached for his jeans and withdrew a condom from a pocket. Slipping it over his straining cock, he moved over her again. She lifted her hips and he slid into her in one fluid motion.
“Oh, God.” Lily wrapped her fingers around his biceps.
“All right?”
A little uncomfortable, but she wouldn’t be anywhere else at that moment. “Uh-huh.”
He wrapped a hand in her hair and bent her head a little to nip her jaw and neck. Slowly, he moved his hips, until she began to match his pace. The discomfort faded, replaced with pleasure. Little crimps in her lower belly built until she thrust her hips into his, each time a little faster until they met in a frantic heat that led them both to a shattering crescendo in near unison.
“You okay?” he asked near her ear, his breathing harsh.
How to answer? She’d gone to the moon and back. “Perfect.”
He chuckled. “Good.”
“Yes, you are.”
His chuckle turned to an outright laugh. “Thank you.”
“You’re heavy.” She pushed his chest.
Instantly, he rolled to his back, pulling her over on top of him. They lay in silence, letting their breathing return to normal. Lily’s breasts crushed against his chest and their heartbeats pounded together.
Will kissed her lightly. “I’d love to stay here, making love all night, but I’m afraid the mosquitoes will eat us alive.”
Lily’s magical night had ended. “Let’s go home.”
CHAPTER TWELVE
Sexual healing.
Will knew the Marvin Gaye song, but he’d never believed the lyrics. Until now.
For the first time since Amy died he felt whole. And it was all because of Lily. Making love to her had filled a hole in soul he didn’t even know existed. Today, for the first time in a very long time, he could face himself in the mirror again.
Maybe he’d call his mother later and catch up on goings on at home.
He stirred the scrambled eggs, added a little salt. Coffee perked, filling the air with its strong scent. He placed two pieces of wheat bread to the toaster. Followed his regular morning routine, even though his heart pounded in an uneven rhythm.
“Good morning.” Lily’s soft voice behind him had him spinning around. She looked normal in a striped pink and blue top and jeans, her hair in one of her fancy braids. But her faint blush told him she wasn’t completely at ease.
“Hi. Are you hungry?” He fought for a normal tone of voice although he knew it sounded huskier than normal.
She smiled shyly. “Starving.”
“Good.” He cleared his throat. “Food’s almost ready.”
“I’ll get plates.” Lily moved to the cupboard. Will couldn’t help but watch as she stretched for the plates. The sexy curve of her bottom in snug denim had his cock rising like a Montana wind.
“Lily.” Will crossed the kitchen in two long strides and placed his hands on her shoulders. Gently, he turned her around. Her eyes widened as he bent his head to capture her lips with his own.
With a little moan, she wrapped her arms around his neck and al
lowed him to deepen the kiss. He slid a leg between hers, pressing her back against the counter. Her breasts pressed against his chest, her hips rocked forward against his pelvis.
She broke the kiss. “Will.”
“Yeah?”
“Take me to bed.”
“No.” At her shocked expression he reached for her hand. “Not to the bed where you slept with your husband.”
“Oh.” She let the word out on a long breath. “Right.”
“I’ll buy a bed today,” Will hastened to say. “Just as soon as work is done I’ll head to the store.”
Lily unwound her arms from his neck. “How about now?”
“You want me to go to town now?”
“Uh-huh.” She nodded emphatically. “I do.”
“Can I eat first?” He chuckled. “Something tells me I’m going to need my strength.”
Color flooded her face. “Yes.”
Will backed up and indicated she should sit. “Food’s ready.”
She sat as he filled two plates. He handed one to her and placed one in front of himself. The food had no taste. All he could think of was Lily’s lips on his. And how quickly he could buy a bed and set it up in the loft.
“I’m going to the Carter’s fields,” Lily said. “Do you want to meet me there at lunch?”
“You’re serious about me going to town now?”
“Yes.” Lily stood and placed her plate in the sink. She glanced over her shoulder at him. “Please.”
“Yes, ma’am. I’ll see you at the Carter’s place at noon. Would you like me to pick up something in town for lunch?”
“That sounds good.”
With a jaunty little wave, she left.
~*~
Lily almost danced to the barn. She would always love Jeff, but the constant despair over his untimely death had left. Not last night, she realized, but in the last few months, it had gradually faded from a sharp pain to a dull ache that was manageable.
Falling in love with Will had just made the hard days less difficult.
Love?
Their lovemaking had sealed the deal for her, but she’d been in love with him for a while. Maybe she would tell him tonight.
A little wiggle of excitement filled her stomach at the thought of the coming evening. Best to keep her mind on the business at hand she reminded herself. Working with equipment was a dangerous job. Lack of attention could get you killed, or injured.
She drove the smaller tractor on the flatbed trailer and secured it. Will would drive the bigger John Deere over later. Hopping in the pickup, she headed for her job. An Alan Jackson tune came on the radio and she shivered. She’d never hear that artist again without thinking of last night.
At the farmer’s field she slathered on sunscreen, unloaded the tractor and climbed aboard. Making sure she had plenty of bottled water she turned toward the field. Time to get busy.
Before she began, Lily dug through her CD case and chose Kenny Chesney. As the music filled the air, she lowered the plow and started down the empty meadow. The lyrics of Summertime made her smile.
It only took a few minutes to realize this particular job was going to be difficult. Used as a cow pasture for the last few years, the ground was both uneven and rough. It took all her concentration to keep the tractor on a straight path. Her shoulders and hands ached with the effort of holding the big piece of equipment.
The sun had risen high in the sky. Lily reached for her water bottle near her right hand. She glanced at her watch. Almost noon. Will would be here soon. Distracted, she allowed the front tires to drift a little and the left one hit a prairie dog hole, dropping abruptly.
The momentum of the tractor coming to an abrupt stop sent Lily catapulting over the hood of the machine like a pebble from a slingshot. The ground rushed up and she tasted dirt before the world went black.
~*~
Will couldn’t find the bed he wanted anywhere in Lonesome Valley. He had a big log bed in mind. A place he could stretch out his frame and have plenty of room for Lily, too. He hoped she would be spending all of her coming nights with him. Hopefully a few mornings and afternoons, too.
As he left the last furniture store in town he spotted his buddy Boyd pumping gas at a convenience store. Will whipped a quick U-turn and pulled in next to his friend.
“Hey there.”
Boyd stepped over to the truck door. “Howdy.”
Will shut off his engine. “What are you doing?”
“Getting gas for the boat. A bunch of us are going out to the lake later. Hey, why don’t you come along? We’re going to fish a little, roast hotdogs at dark. There’s plenty.”
“I have a date.”
“Bring her,” Boyd said immediately. “The more the merrier.”
“Not Taylor,” Will said, sure the invitation would be rescinded.
“She told us you left with someone else,” Boyd said with no judgment in his voice. “Don’t worry about it, man. You spent one summer together a few years ago. Nobody expected you to get married after one evening together.”
Will exhaled. “Thanks. I was afraid you and Lauren would upset with me.”
“Not at all.” Boyd thumped the door. “So who is this lady you’re in to? She must be something special if you’re willing to give up Taylor for her.”
“Lily Halderman.”
Boyd’s eyes widened a bit. “Jeff Halderman’s widow? The pretty redhead?”
“That’s her,” Will said.
“Good for you. My cousin’s mom belongs to the same grief group she does and she seems like a nice lady.” Boyd said. “We’d love to have her.”
No comment about Lily’s age, for which Will was glad. He could care less about the years between them. Love had no age boundaries. His heart sped up at the thought. “Thanks. I’ll ask her.”
“Great. Bring beer or whatever you like to drink. We’ll be at the dock around four.”
“Talk to you later.” Will started his engine. “Oh, by the way, do you know where I could buy a bed? I want a log one not something like you can find in any old furniture store.”
Boyd grinned, but wisely didn't comment. “Try Eugene Havens out on Buffalo Park Lane. He makes furniture. I bet you can find what you’re looking for there.”
“Thanks. I’ll check it out.”
“I hope we’ll see you and Lily later,” Boyd said.
“I’ll let you know after I talk to her,” Will told him.
With a couple affirmative thumps to the truck door, Boyd walked away. After a quick run into the store for a coke and a bag of peanuts, Will decided to run out to the furniture maker’s place. He glanced at the clock on his dashboard. Ten. Two hours until he was supposed to meet Lily. If he was going to buy a bed, set it up and meet her on time he had to hurry.
Will found the woodworker’s place with no trouble.
Inside a roomy garage he spotted an enormous bearded man bent over a workbench. The guy reminded him of Paul Bunyan from the tale about a blue ox. The giant looked up as Will approached.
“Hello.” The man’s voice was as deep as one would expect.
“Morning.” Will held out his hand. The big guy took it in a crushing grip. “Will Wainwright. I’m looking for a log bed frame.”
“Over here.” The big man led Will through his crowded work area. The scent of pine and cedar filled Will’s nose and he inhaled appreciatively. “Would this do?”
Will couldn’t have imagined a more perfect bed. As big as he’d hoped, smooth, twisted pine curved into a canopy that made it seem as if a person would feel like they slept inside a forest.
“It’s perfect. How much?”
“It ain’t cheap.” Eugene crammed his big fists in his back pockets.
“Give me a price,” Will insisted. This bed would forever remind him of the night he and Lily first made love in the apple orchard.
“Twenty-five hundred.”
He would have paid double to have this piece. “I’ll take it. Can you deliver it
today?”
“Yup. Where?”
Will gave him Lily’s address and paid with his credit card. “Thanks. I have to get back to town to buy bedding and a mattress.”
The big man grinned. “In a hurry to get a special lady in this bed, are ya?”
Will ignored the man’s crudity. “Just in need of a good night’s sleep.”
“Well, if you need anything else you know where to find me.” Eugene ran Will’s credit card and handed it back. “I’ll have this to you in the next hour or so. I have to round up my boys to get it there.”
“Thanks. Appreciate it.” Will replaced his credit card in his wallet.
Will went first to a mattress store where he picked out the most expensive set, then hurried to the drug store.
Inside he found a cute clerk. “Do you have any white twinkle lights?”
A clerk led him to a back aisle and dug out a couple boxes. “You having a wedding?” she asked. “That’s what most folks want white lights for in the middle of the summer.”
“Just a party.” He planned to wrap them around the top of the canopy to remind Lily of the stars shining on them last night. His heart stuttered at the thought of a wedding. Would Lily marry him? Not once in his entire life had the notion of getting hitched occurred to him. Like all the other Wainwright boys—much to his mother’s consternation—he had no intention of settling down. Not even with Amy, as much as he’d cared for her.
The realization rocked him.
He’d loved Amy. A lot. But he’d never considered marrying her.
Now, the idea of being with Lily forever intrigued him. A little soon to ask her, he supposed, but something he’d do down the road.
He realized the clerk was talking to him. “Will there be anything else?”
“Sheets?”
“We don’t have a big selection, but I’ll show what we have.” She led him to the bedding section and pointed out a few items.
He found bright green sheets and a matching comforter that reminded him of grass. They couldn’t have been more perfect for the carved tree bed if they’d been custom made for it.