by V. F. Mason
Pressing my ear to her chest, I don’t hear a heartbeat, so I tangle my hands on her chest and pump several times then give her a couple breaths, and then pump more, and more breaths.
But no matter how much I try, she still stays the same, and slowly I realize I might not save her.
Come on, Lila. For me. Please, just please.
The last time I begged this much for a heartbeat was with my dead mother in that fucking cage.
* * *
Lila
I feel the press of his lips on mine and then the urgent need to cough, and at once, he lets me go as water gushes past my lips then down my chin and neck while I try to get it all out of me.
“Lila,” he whispers, rolling me onto my side while shivers run through me as the cold wind blows on my skin, and my almost naked state registers.
The wet dress clings to my skin while my hair is probably smeared with dirt, and Eugene looms above me, no better himself, as the water from his forehead drips on me. He continues to probe with his fingers on my body, murmuring, “Are you all right? Does it hurt anywhere? Tell me!” I’ve never seen him in such a state of panic before, where fear carves his features and his voice trembles from the emotions enveloping him.
But most important, the love that surrounds me in his every touch and question, despite his cruel ways. “Why did you jump, crazy girl?” He hugs me close, squeezing the life out of me, all while rocking me gently in his arms and kissing me on the cheek and neck. “I thought you died.” He leans back and cups my cheek. “Don’t do that again.”
I hear the sound of sirens echoing in the forest, and they move closer and closer, becoming louder and louder, and I open my mouth to tell him something, when my head snaps back.
“Lila!” he shouts, and the shock in his eyes is the last thing I see before everything goes dark.
* * *
Eugene
“How long has she been unconscious?” the paramedic asks me while the ambulance moves speedily toward the nearest hospital, and I shake my head.
“I’m not sure. Around five minutes before you arrived.”
He adjusts the breathing mask on her better and continues watching the stats, all while holding his hand on her pulse point. “I meant in the water.”
“Not much. Maybe a minute before I got her out.”
“She has a bump on the back of her head, so she must have hit it hard.” He glances at his watch and curses. “She’ll need a CT scan as soon as possible.” Then he gives me a reassuring pat. “You did everything you could.”
Yeah, I did.
I drove her right to the edge of the cliff, where she thought her only option was to kill herself to escape my company.
How could I have been so selfish? Didn’t I ultimately do what my father did to my mother? Killed her spirit?
He couldn’t accept that she wanted to leave him, so he organized the kidnapping, but the joke was on him, since the kidnapper wanted more money.
He couldn’t live with himself.
If Lila doesn’t survive this, I won’t be able to live with myself either.
Chapter Fourteen
Eugene
“Eugene!” Sorcha shouts, rushing to me and hugging me with all her might. Emilio trails after her. He pats my back, but I barely acknowledge their presence. “How is Lila?” she asks, hiccupping slightly, and only then do I notice her eyes full of tears and her red nose, probably from crying.
“They are operating on her. I’m waiting.”
“I’m sorry, brother,” Emilio says, and irrational anger slams into me. Before my actions settle in my mind, I step away from Sorcha and punch Emilio right in the face, as I shout, “If you had kept your mouth shut, none of this would have happened!” His desire to meddle in my relationship brought this on us.
Nurses gasp and probably want to run for security, but Emilio’s raised hand stops them, and he addresses them gently. “I’m sorry, ladies. His fiancée is fighting for her life, so he isn’t himself.” Although their expressions sadden, they still throw me a worried look, so he says, “This won’t happen again.” They finally nod and resume going through folders or whatever else they were doing before. “Control yourself, Eugene.”
Fuck this. “Why did you tell her to go to the mansion?” I hiss, and Emilio pushes Sorcha behind him, facing me head-on.
“Because she needed to know the truth. You cannot build a life on a lie.”
“Yeah? Well we’ve been doing great until you stuck your nose in my business.”
He laughs, although it lacks any humor. “Really? You think her reaction would have been different after a few years? You, my friend, are dangerous.” He pokes me in the chest, and his voice drops a few octaves. “She deserved to know the truth, so she can decide if she wants to live with you and your shit, or not. Living a double life is impossible, especially when you have a woman you love by your side.”
We stare at one another for a beat before I pull at my hair and groan into my elbows, pacing back and forth. “She doesn’t want any part of me.”
Sorcha sits on the chair, clasping her hands, and doesn’t seem very surprised.
Then it dawns on me. “You know?” Emilio probably doesn’t hide anything from his beloved woman, and she nods, sighing heavily. “I don’t agree with your methods, but if the likes of Sam and Ben are no longer with us because of you? I can accept it.”
Isn’t that ironic?
Sorcha doesn’t mind me being a serial killer, but the very woman for whom I’ve done all those things despises me to the core of her soul.
“She needs time.” Sorcha might know her friend well, but this is another level of problems. Lila is and always has been the good girl who follows the rules.
And marrying an evil beast instead of a prince is not following the rules. “Time is one thing we might not have.”
“Eugene—” She doesn’t finish whatever she wants to say, because the double doors burst open and a doctor in blue scrubs emerges, removing the mask from his face and pinching his nose.
“How is she?” I ask, my heart beating rapidly in my chest as I await his reply.
“She had internal bleeding in her brain, but luckily we found it in time. She should be fine, but we’ll only know for sure once she wakes up.” He waits a beat and continues, this time more carefully. “But this kind of injury sometimes brings unexpected results. Like the loss of memory, or sight, or speech. We have no guarantees until she wakes up.”
“Oh my God!” Sorcha exclaims, and Emilio clears his throat.
“And everything else?”
“Her broken leg needs surgery. She must have stepped on something as well, because there’s an infection, so we need to treat that as soon as possible. Apart from that she has some mild bruises, which only require time to heal. But overall, she is lucky to have survived such a fall.” The doctor squeezes my shoulder. “You can visit if you want. But make it short.”
“Thank you.” With a last squeeze, he leaves. Exhaling heavily, I’m guided by the nurse to her room, all while dwelling on his words.
Loss of sight or speech.
She has to get better; otherwise, I will never fucking forgive myself.
Finally, we enter the area, and the nurse murmurs, “You have around five minutes.”
Lila breathes evenly on the bed, the machines beeping loudly, indicating her increased pulse. I sit on the edge of the bed, placing my palm over hers, and slowly the pulse slows down, and she exhales in her sleep as if relaxing at my presence.
Several bruises cover her face, neck, and body from her resistance and fall, along with her broken leg that will require extensive surgery to heal.
But all in all, she is still my beautiful, artistic girl who is too fragile to handle the truth about her man to be with me.
What will happen when she wakes up and sees my face next to hers?
Will she scream and run away?
Or run toward me?
If you love someone, set them free. I always
laughed at the saying, because only weak men allowed something or someone to slip through their fingers. But if my woman is no longer happy with me, how can I keep her?
And even though the answer is obvious, I stay by her side and wait for her to make a choice that will forever define our lives.
* * *
Lila
My eyelids flutter open, and I almost groan from waking up in a hospital again, but compared to the last time, I remember everything quite clearly.
The room is bathed in navy blue light from the moonlight streaming through the windows, and machines beep loudly, indicating my strong pulse.
I lick my dry lips, desperately needing water for my mouth that tastes awful, and I almost exhale in relief when I notice a glass with a straw on the bedside table.
I want to reach for it, but I can’t move my hand.
Furrowing my brows, I glance down only to see an IV drip attached to it, and dark hair cascading on my lap as a man sleeps, a troubled expression on his features. The deep line between his brows is still visible, and although he is sleeping, he’s tense.
Eugene.
The nurse walks in at this moment; her eyes widen, and she wants to greet me by the movement of her lips, but I whisper, “Shh,” and she smiles, understanding me.
She comes closer, picks up the glass, and allows me to sip a little from it, and instantly cool liquid wets my throat and brings much needed relief. “I need to call the doctor,” she informs me and then winks. “Your fiancé has been by your side all this time. He has been worried sick.” Then she leans closer, murmuring, “Especially when the doctor told him you might lose your memory or other stuff.”
My brows raise at this statement, but she is already off to fetch the doctor while Eugene doesn’t even stir. He must be really tired, if his hunting senses are off.
Gently, I slide my hand from under his chin and put it on top of his head, softly running my fingers through his dark locks, while the image of him saving me from the water pops into my mind.
Along with everything else.
Who has given me unconditional love in this world beside Sorcha? Who hasn’t demanded anything back? Who was willing to risk his own life in order to save mine?
Are my morals more important than the person I love?
I never wanted you to see this. Because now there is no going back.
Is it possible to build a relationship with a man who loathes his ways and thinks I’m going to bolt any minute? Granted, I acted stupidly and irrationally, but I think the shock was riding me hard.
But with almost dying has come clarity.
Some evil is necessary in this world; it’s just the question of me being able to live with it.
But can he be with me if I’m not the Lila he knows, but the Lila who sees every dark part of him?
In this moment, I see clearly what Eugene truly needs, and finally knowing all the truth, I’m able to give it to him.
Chapter Fifteen
Eugene
The loud voice startles me, and I raise my head in time for the doctor to burst into the room, with the nurse hot on his heels. “Her vitals are all good, and she even spoke to me.”
“Excellent.” He gives me a curt nod and then grins at Lila. “You scared us, young lady.”
I focus my attention on Lila, who is wide awake, and I exhale in relief, squeezing her thigh. She glances at me, smiling slightly before looking at the doctor again.
I stay silent as he issues orders, holding a pen in front of her. “Look to the left, to the right.” She follows his command, and he exclaims, “Great!” Then he takes out his small penlight and checks her eyes. “It seems like you’re doing good, Lila.”
“Well, great,” she mutters, and he rubs her temples and then the underside of her chin. “No swelling, which is always good.” He grabs the notepad from the bedside table and quickly scratches something on it. “You have no problem with your speech or sight, so thankfully, the operation went well.”
“Her memory,” I say, and everyone shifts their focus to me, while I clear my throat. “What about her memory?” She is not thrashing in bed or screaming for the police, so it must mean she doesn’t know who I am.
And somehow, the idea of her not knowing me hurts me more than her hating me. This way, at least I existed somehow in her life. Otherwise, everything is wiped clean. “Right.” He then addresses Lila. “Do you remember what happened to you?”
A beat, and she shakes her head and replies, “No.”
I close my eyes, receiving an imaginary blow to the heart, but hold back any emotion, because she doesn’t need them right now.
She will always be my first priority.
“Do you know who you are?” he asks another question, giving me a sympathetic look, and motions for the nurse to get her more water.
“Yes, of course. My name is Lila and this man is my fiancé, Eugene.” I freeze, afraid to breathe, and she continues after licking her dry lips. “The last thing I remember is going to his mansion to have dinner and then nothing. What happened?”
No, impossible.
Life can’t be this kind to me, can it?
What are the odds of her remembering everything but the truth?
Null.
Those are our odds.
And the impact of it almost sends me down on my knees.
The doctor continues to talk, check her vitals, and advises her therapy with something else. But I zone out from most of the conversation while different scenarios, one after another, play in my head.
But most prominent is the one where I won’t have to give up Lila or watch her walk away from me.
* * *
Lila
“So, no hiking or anything fancy for the next several months.” The doctor finishes, and I nod. Satisfied with my health, he shakes Eugene’s hand and leaves the room.
We stare at one another for the longest of moments, while probably both of us think that our road to this moment was not easy, but so worth it.
Who said you can’t fall in love with a villain? Why is it always the prince who gets the girl?
He drops back on the bed and helps me adjust my pillows behind me before I lean back.
Eugene rubs my cheek gently and brings us closer, his mouth inches away from mine, and as I gaze into his hazel pools, I don’t see anything but love.
Twisted, dark love for me that is mixed with vengeance.
I know he won’t ever be able to let go of me no matter what, but he never wanted me to know the truth about his life. Because in a way, he doesn’t want to smear me in it.
His basement is something that belongs solely to him, which brings peace to his soul in a way I will never understand, because I never lived his experiences.
I smile brightly at him, circling his neck, and meet him halfway, our mouths connecting in a deep, toe-curling kiss filled with so much love and passion I become dizzy from it.
Eugene Harrison is the love of my life.
But he is also a serial killer who notoriously kills those who have wronged others.
And while no sane woman would have probably stayed with him, accepting this life and his bloody hands… I can’t imagine living in this world without him.
Letting go of him, I rest my forehead against his and whisper, “I love you, Eugene.”
He waits a beat, and then exhales heavily before whispering back, “I love you too, Lila.”
And that’s enough for me.
Because for a moment in time, we’re happy.
* * *
Eugene
My artistic girl can never hide the thoughts flashing in her mind.
She remembers everything and still accepts me, giving me this opportunity to keep her forever away from my dark world.
Lila chose to run toward me.
And this means so much to me I can’t do anything but breathe her scent in and vow to myself that, no matter what, I will never allow my other identity to hurt the beautiful life we will build together.
Epilogue
For a moment in time…
New York, New York
Fall, 1984
* * *
Lila
“Look at him,” I murmur, adjusting him better on my elbow, and he frowns for a minute, clearly not happy with the interruption. His eyes snap open as he gazes at me questioningly, and I sigh.
Breastfeeding sure will take some adjustment.
“I know. He’s beautiful. Just like this little guy,” Eugene says, and I shift my attention to the bundle in his arms when he rocks our other son gently.
Three knocks on the door and Emilio enters, bringing with him a flushed Sorcha, who tugs on her short dress. I bet her Italian ravished her in the hallway.
At the rate these two are going, it’s a wonder we are the first ones to have babies.
Our gazes flash when I wink at her, and although her cheeks heat up, she shrugs. She sure became better at the whole living just once thing. “Giving birth in the woods. Only you, my friend.” She quickly joins me by the bed and leans to me, touching the baby softly. “He is so precious,” she mutters, tears welling in her eyes as she sighs. “And beautiful.” But then she frowns and glances at Eugene as he stands by the window, and her jaw drops open. “Is that another baby in his arms?”
“Surprise,” I announce, and pout my lips at her glare. “Before you go all best friend on me, I just want to put it out there we had no idea either. The other baby hid behind the first one.” I wait a beat and add, “And you got married in Vegas without me.”
“For fuck’s sake, I’m ready to have a reception in New York so you will stop throwing it in our faces,” she grumbles, and I give her a soft nudge.
“That’s why you ate like the world was ending,” Emilio says, and I groan, but Eugene shares his amusement. He sobers quickly though under my frown and shrugs as if asking what can he do.