"Sorry, I was just thinking about this whole thing. It's terrible to have all of this happen to such wonderfully nice people.”
Loic scoffed. I guess he didn't see that as the case for everyone involved in this. Didn’t he see him and Chase as good people? I looked at him closely, and he hid his face.
“What about Chase's family? Where are they?" I asked him.
"I don't know. He mentioned a son once but otherwise, he doesn't talk about them."
"What about you? Don't you have any family?"
"Nope.” He pressed his lips together. “It was just me and my mother. She was a member of the castle staff."
"You said she was taken by poison?"
"About five years ago a sickness spread from the outbreak of Formless. The poison that comes from their body burned the plant life and contaminated the water near our farm. My mother was killed by that poison.” Grief twisted his face. “I couldn’t even be with her. I had to find out through one of Chase’s contacts. This was all during my exile. I was trying to get families out of Mirror Image, so I planned on bringing her here, but apparently, she had been sick for years and didn’t tell me. She told me to escort that first family, then come back for her. The poison had taken her before I got back. I couldn’t even be at her side, yet I came back and there was still that smile on her face." Tears started filling his eyes, he started wiping them away before they fell down his cheek. “Always when I try to protect someone, I still lose something.” He cursed under his breath.
I grabbed his hand and squeezed it. "I'm so sorry. I'm sure she was a wonderful woman. I'm sure both of your parents were wonderful."
I mean besides the snark, he seemed to turn out okay.
"She was.” Loic brushed at his face again. “I do visit their graves now and then, but with Rakesh lurking about I don't get many chances."
So caring and sensitive, beyond what I thought possible. Loic saw me looking at him and broke eye contact with me. He coughed. But he kept his hand in mine.
"Anyway, I got off track. Why don't we try teaching you how to use your magical aura? You'll have some protection that way."
“Sure, I guess that would be a start.” My voice trailed off to uncertainty. I didn’t want to face any more Formless, but the reality made itself clear in my head. I couldn’t avoid confrontation, and it might happen sooner rather than later.
"All right!” He stood up, pulling me up with him. “Let's try a shield. I use a mirror to amplify my aura but from what happened with the Formless attack last time, I don't think you'll need it. You seemed to react to the shield ribbon well enough, and your own magic should be enough to do this without it.” Loic’s expression turned serious. “First, clear your mind. Focus on the center of your being. You should sense an energy there. A kind of warmth. Like being surrounded in really warm water."
I closed my eyes, and I focused. I did feel something stir inside me. A feeling that was both warm and cold all at once. It calmed me, yet I was frightened. I took a breath.
"I feel it,” I said. “Now what?"
"Picture it surrounding you. Raise your arm up and spread your fingers. Form the shield in your mind. Stretch the aura out with your arms."
He lifted my arms up, and I did as I was told. It was distracting and oddly pleasant, feeling his hands on mine. I inhaled and tried to focus. The energy followed my arm, and I felt that feeling all over my body. It started like a full-body warmth that made my skin tingle as well. Like I was in front of a fire for too long.
"Good, Rayne. Now picture the energy expanding around you. Lower your arm as it expands, then hold it to your chest. Try to hold that shape in your mind. Imagine standing inside a glass dome or a bubble."
I did as I was told and closed my hand to a fist. I felt Loic leave my side. The warmth covered where he had stood, making the shape complete in my mind. I opened my eyes to see a small dome of blue and red light over me. Loic was on the other side of it. His hands were on his hips and he nodded his head, impressed at my work. His eyes followed the shape of the dome and continued to nod.
"Wow! You picked that up quickly."
"It feels warm and safe." It was almost like being under a blanket on a winter night. I felt like I could stay here forever if I really wanted to.
"That's good. At least you'll have protection. It looks pretty sturdy."
He poked the shield. I could feel the pressure inside the dome. Then that pressure released, and some sort of magic deflected his hand back. Loic nodded, shaking his hand from the pressure and smiled in approval. I looked at his hand and couldn’t see if he was hurt or not. He motioned his finger down and I assumed he was asking me to drop the shield. Sure enough he confirmed my reaction.
I looked around to see the park still empty. Would anyone even be able to see what we were doing? Maybe not. They said no one could see magic so would they just see us standing here seemingly doing nothing?
“Okay Rayne, try and let the magic go. Then build it up again as fast as you can.”
I dropped the shield and tried again with relative ease. The shield came up, and I was under the dome again. A feeling of pride flooded through me.
A combination of I actually did it and Holy crow I have magic powers…
"Nice! You got that down. Excellent job.”
I dropped the shield again. Loic reached in and patted my shoulder. “It’s always interesting to see others using magic.”
“How so?”
“Remember how I said hair and eye color can change when one uses magic? Seems you have one too.”
“Really?”
What changed about me? I didn’t feel any different.
“When you use your aura, your eyes turn hazel. It suits you.” He smiled.
I blushed. He was looking into my eyes. I hadn’t even noticed.
He looked passed me, and his muscles twitched a bit as he caught a glimpse of what was behind me. I turned to see the sky turning orange and red against the skyline.
“Well it's getting late. I'll take you home."
"All right." I still had the biggest smile on my face.
I couldn’t deny it anymore. It was me that had defeated those Formless, even though I didn’t know exactly how. And now being able to do this shield thing and picking up the capoeira thing too? It was amazing. I couldn’t wait to learn more.
Then I wondered how I could represent magic in paint. Loic’s aura was blue and it looked like mine was similar. More art studies would have to be conducted, for sure.
~
We got back to my apartment. As I headed up the stairs, Loic stopped and stood at the bottom looking up at my door. I turned back to him. He was leaning against the fence, still smiling but more somber.
"Do you have somewhere to stay?" I asked.
"I'm good. I'll be close by, so don't worry."
"I'm not really worried.” I paused. “I mean, are you sure you want to stay outside? That can’t be healthy."
He winked. "It's a bit early for inviting me into your apartment, isn't it?"
"I don't mean that. Um." He rose his hand and chuckled under his breath...
"I got it, Rayne. Don't worry. I've slept in worse conditions."
"You've done so much for me. I can at least get you somewhere warm to sleep. I have a couch if you want it."
"I guess if you insist." He still had that teasing smirk on his face, but he seemed grateful.
No matter how tough he made himself seem, he didn’t want to sleep outside.
He moved away from the fence and followed me upstairs.
I made up the couch and got ready for bed. Loic sat and browsed through the magazines beside the couch. He didn’t seem to be paying attention to much else. Maybe he was as tired as I was. I gathered fresh clothes and headed to the bathroom, locking the door behind me. Nice guy or not I wasn’t going to risk any more awkwardness between us, I’ve seen too many anime to get a rational option to ease my hand off
the lock.
No thank you.
I jumped into a hot shower and once the steam built up, I sensed something was off. A sense of dread that I couldn’t place. I looked around and saw a black shadow around me. It didn’t entirely feel like a Formless. There was no dark atmosphere, no tar smell. Just dread. I put up a shield, and it even kept the water from falling on me. I trembled and looked around for the shadow. But I didn't see it again, so I relaxed.
I finished my shower and I headed to bed, silently passing Loic on the couch. He was looking around keeping an eye on things, so I felt safe. He didn't react to the shadow. He said he could sense them even if he couldn’t see them, so if he didn’t react to it, it must have been my imagination. Maybe the steam was getting to me? Was I really that tired I was seeing things? I sighed, said goodnight to Loic, and headed to sleep.
My nightmare started up again. The man reached to grab my neck, but this time he never reached me. Something shielded me, then vanished in an instant. The darkness of the nightmare turned into a soothing light. There was music, a light, whimsical sound, maybe a harp? my dream surroundings became a warm, open field filled with blue flowers. I sat up and the flowers moved and became butterflies that flew over me in a group over a clear lake. I looked over to the shore and hesitated to look at my reflection. I knew why I was afraid of looking into mirrors or seeing a reflection, but in this dream, I had no fear.
I looked into the water. It wasn't me or Luna that I saw in the crystal-clear water. It was a young boy. His short brown hair was ruffled against his small head. His eyes looked at me and he smiled, then he vanished. The water rippled as if someone was skipping rocks over its surface. I turned, and the boy ran to the arms of an older woman. Her hair was a beautiful light brown, and her eyes were a rich, fresh green. She smiled and kissed the boy's head. She then looked at me and smiled like she knew I was there. The scene faded to white, and I blinked gradually into unconsciousness.
I expected to wake up in Mirror Image, but I awoke in my apartment. I saw Loic sleeping against the wall beside me. It seemed he had left the couch to come comfort me. His hand was lightly glowing with aura. He could share things. Had that been his dream, so I wouldn't have nightmares? I saw the anchor stone around my neck and laughed. He must have given it to me as well. I was touched that he came over to take care of me. Yeah, Chase asked him to protect me, but this was just a charming additional gesture on his part. He could have been just a stoic bodyguard but instead, he was treating me like I was special to him in some way.
At least that’s what it felt like to me.
I checked at my clock. I didn’t have a class for another four hours. So, I set my alarm, tossed a small blanket over Loic, and went back to sleep.
EIGHT
♦
Protection
I WOKE UP TO strange noises outside, growling and stone being scratched echoed through the walls. Fear jolted through me. Footsteps accompanied the growling as well as the screeching metal. It came from the stairs of the fire escape. In one smooth movement, I sat up and stood, looking to the window to check the noises.
“Um, Loic, you there?”
I backed against the bed, looking around my apartment. Loic was nowhere to be found. The blanket was still where it was left last night. I heard the noises intensify, and I flinched as they echoed. The sound of trash cans being thrown against the metal stairs shot panic into my veins. I ran up to the window to see Loic, leaning over the corpse of a small Formless. He cursed, stretching and rubbing his shoulders.
“Loic? Are you okay?”
He turned to look at me.
"It's all right, Rayne. I finished off the last one for now."
He climbed up the fire escape, jumping in front of me, and pushed me away from the window. I flinched and took a few extra steps back, breaking from his light grasp to give him room to fully come into the room. I made just enough room for him and we were very close for a time. I felt heat coming from him and I could see the sweat on his neck. I backed up further and ended up sitting back down on my bed as he closed the window behind him.
"I think they were after me this time,” He said. I stood and listened to him as I started to gather my things for school. My heart slowed down having some distance from him. He continued to speak, sounding very serious with his tone. “I don't think they knew you were here. But even so, we'd better head out for now. They might be searching the city."
I shook my head. "But I have class!" I stood and followed him, blocking his approach to the door, laying my hand on my kitchen table.
"Rayne-"
"Loic, I know you want to protect me, but I still have to go to class."
"Your life is more important than classes.”
“I realize that. I’ve already been gone for so long…”
His face was implacable stone. “This is war, Rayne. They are searching for you and if we try to go about normal lives, we risk them finding you. That’s not something we can afford.”
“I—”
I needed a reason. I had to think of something. This felt more than just wanting normality. I felt like I had to continue my routine.
But I didn’t really want to, at the same time. I knew my life was different now.
Loic kept his gaze on me as he continued to speak. “I need to keep you safe and it's hard to protect you and civilians at the same time. Formless don't care who’s in their way."
I thought about what he said, but I couldn't just skip class. It didn't feel right. I’d missed so much already. And what if people start looking for me? Juliet, my counselor, or any of my teachers? Would they involve the police? I didn’t want anyone to come looking for me and get mixed into all of this. If I was going to be a part of this war and lose my normal life, then I didn’t want to take anyone else’s life away along with it. Loic looked at me and sighed.
"Look, I know you mean well, Rayne. You're a good girl. Innocent and naive, but good. Just please understand, going to campus while Formless are hunting us isn't safe for you or your classmates."
"I understand, but..."
Something inside of me was hesitant. One step backward put me in range for the door and a step forward brought me to Loic's outreached hand. I couldn't find myself to pick one over the other. Loic noticed my hesitation and scratched his head.
He groaned. “Rayne, going to school isn’t worth putting you in harm’s way…”
“Loic, I get what you mean. I just have this feeling that I have to go, It’s not even because of my attendance. I can’t explain this, but I know I have to go.”
“Fine.” He sighed. “I’ll hear you out. Just say what’s in your head right now.”
Trying to explain something I didn’t understand was proving difficult. There was a tug on my heart telling me to go. Why? Was something telling me I had to do something specific? Was someone going to get hurt if I stayed? Many possibilities buzzed through my head.
I chewed on my lip. “I feel like I have to. That if I don’t go someone will get hurt. Someone will look for me they’ll get into trouble.”
“Rayne, we can’t be concerned for everyone, all the time.”
“Well, I am, Loic!”
“Why? Forgive my bluntness but you shouldn’t put yourself in danger to keep up appearances. That’s how people get hurt.”
“This isn’t about appearances Loic.”
“That’s kind of what it seems like. Just you being around is enough to cause trouble based on what we’ve seen so far. the attack in the museum…”
“So that was my fault.”
“No that’s…that’s not what I meant.”
Then I had a realization. The pulse that told me to go help him in the museum attack was the same one I felt now, telling me to go to school.
“It’s the same…” I mumbled.
“What’s the same?” Loic recovered from his stumbling words earlier.
“This feeling, the feeling I have to go to c
lass, it feels the same as the feeling I had when you needed help.”
Loic swallowed back his words.
“it’s telling me I HAVE to go.”
He gritted his teeth and tried to reach for my arm. “Rayne, this is…”
I stepped back from him. “I don’t want anyone else to die because of me Loic!”
He stopped his thought and looked at me in silence. His stare looking through me, like he was staring at a spotlight.
I thought back at what I had said and covered my mouth realizing why he was frozen.
Anyone else?
The sorrow in his eyes told me we both thought of the same name.
Luna.
I couldn’t hide from what the Light Weavers said. Luna was killed protecting me. It was my fault. She may have chosen it, but if I wasn’t there maybe she could have been more open with the others. Maybe then she would be safe and alive now.
“Even if my just being there would distract those monsters and spare someone else I’ll endure it!” I continued my thought, trying to defend my case. “I don’t care about appearances. I just want to tell myself that I can protect people too. If I show up at classes, maybe I can at least keep someone from getting mixed up in all of this.” I winced. “I know it sounds stupid, but until I figure out this whole magic thing, I think this is all I can do to protect them. If I have to pretend that everything is okay, when clearly, it’s not, then I’ll do it.”
My face must have given him some hints because he twitched a bit and tried to keep fighting.
"Rayne, look, just..." He gave up saying anything and broke eye contact with me.
"Please, Loic can't you protect me at the school?”
I didn't want any of my classmates to get hurt. Especially Juliet. But if I wouldn't show up for class, she might go looking for me. Knowing her she would try and end up finding someone possessed by a Formless. She’d get in danger like I did. Was that the pull I felt? To prevent something like that?
He sighed. "Fine, but I'll be close by. Don't expect to be left alone for a second. The Formless are going to get forceful, and it doesn't matter to them if innocent people get involved.”
Glass Souls (Reflection Book 1) Page 21