“I saw someone like you,” he said, still staring at her with his one normal eye.
“What, you mean a female?” Tess demanded, remembering that Yipper had said all the females from Zeaga Four had died off centuries ago.
A faint frown creased his narrow lips.
“Not just a female. She was…of your kind. But smaller—considerably smaller.” His hands came up, describing two straight skinny lines in the air.
Tess put a hand on her hip.
“So on top of everything else, now you’re calling me fat? I don’t believe this! My day just keeps getting better and better.”
He shook his head.
“I am not calling you anything. I am referring to the other—the one I saw during my recharging period.”
“You mean in your dreams? You dreamed of her?” Suddenly it began to click. “Oh my God…” Tess put a hand to her head. “You mean you’re the one who’s dream sharing with that girl back on Earth?”
“Dream…sharing?” He said it like it was an old word—a concept he’d known once but had almost completely forgotten.
“That’s what it’s called. I don’t know much more about it except that the Kindred consider it significant. So this girl—she’s skinny?”
Six nodded. “She is extremely small and frail.” He frowned disapprovingly. “She looks weak—unable to protect herself. Also, her hair is long and black and straight and she wears strange oculars on her face.” He motioned at his eyes, miming circles.
“Um, I’m sorry but you really can’t talk about ‘strange oculars,’” Tess said. “But I assume you mean she wears glasses.”
“I do not know what they are called. Only that they seem to have clear glass lenses that cover both her eyes.”
“Yup, glasses. God, that poor girl.” Tess shook her head. “You’re going to scare the living hell out of her!”
“Why should I cause her to have emotions of fear?” he demanded, his frown deepening.
“Well just look at you…” Tess gestured at him. “In that armor—you Kindred are already big but that armor just makes you huge.”
“This is my exoskeleton. It protects during combat and aids in mobility on planets with extreme gravity. I rarely take it off.”
Tess shook her head. “Then good luck getting within a hundred feet of her before she runs screaming. That freaky red Terminator-eye thing you’ve got going on doesn’t help either.”
“My scanner was my second enhancement after my damper. It has served me well.” The red light swiveled. “And she will not need to run from me—I have no intention of going near her. I just…wanted to know more about your planet. Your people.”
Tess sighed. “Well if you really want to know, we’re not that different from you except we let ourselves feel things. Oh, and we don’t turn ourselves into cyborgs. Other than that…pretty much the same.”
“You say you let yourself feel things. But you just told me that the male you care for is getting an emotion damper—didn’t you?”
Tess’s eyes stung again and she had to blink back fresh tears.
“Yes, he is. It’s a long story. Basically he can’t trust himself with emotions.”
“No one can,” Six told her. “Emotions are irrational. They make one violent and unpredictable.”
“Yeah, well…” She sniffed. “They also make life worth living. The touch of your lover’s hand…the look in his eyes when he says he cares for you…the taste of his mouth…what does any of that matter if you can’t feel when it happens?”
She couldn’t help remembering the look in Garron’s eyes when he’d told her he loved her. So full of longing—so desperately unhappy. If only there had been another way…another choice…
“You believe this?” The deep rumble of Six’s voice interrupted her thoughts. He was looking at her curiously. “Truly?”
“Yes.” Tess swiped at her eyes and looked up at him defiantly. “Yes, I do. Emotions hurt sometimes but they’re also a beautiful thing. They let you care for someone other than yourself. They let you love. And without that, what’s the point?”
“There is work to be done,” he pointed out. “There are tasks to be accomplished…”
“Sure, but what do you care if any of it gets done? If anything gets accomplished? If—” Tess shook her head in disgust. “Never mind. It’s like trying to explain a rainbow to someone who’s color blind.”
He shook his head. “I don’t understand.”
“My point exactly.” She sighed. “Look, I don’t want to talk anymore. Just do that poor girl back on Earth a favor and stay as far from her as you can.”
“As I said, I have no intention of going to her,” he said stiffly.
“Good. I—”
“Now then, now then—we’re all finished. Yes we are, yes we are.”
Yipper’s high voice interrupted her and Tess turned to see him leading Garron by the hand. The big Kindred had a blank look on his face that made Tess’s heart thump painfully. She knew he probably felt nothing for her now but she went to him anyway.
“Garron, honey?” She put a hand on his arm. “Are you okay?”
“I am well.” He looked at her hand as though wondering why she was touching him.
“He is still adjusting to the drug. Yes he is, yes he is,” Yipper said soothingly. “He will be fine by the end of this solar day when his brain starts manufacturing it on its own.”
“The end of the day?” Tess frowned. “But…I thought we were going back to Earth. Are we staying another night?”
“Of course not.” A faint frown, much like Six’s, creased the corners of Garron’s generous mouth. “I am perfectly fit to pilot a ship.”
“Really?” Tess looked at Yipper for confirmation. “Because I know back on my planet they don’t want you driving a car for a couple of days after a major operation—let alone piloting a freaking space ship thousands of light years across the galaxy.”
“He should be fine. Yes he should, yes he should,” the little Tolleg said, nodding. “In fact, he will be a better pilot now than he was before.”
“Emotions cloud judgment,” Six, who had been standing there silently, put in. “Piloting is much safer without them.”
“Yeah, right,” Tess muttered. She felt like crying again but she didn’t want to do it in front of Six—the big asshole. She knew it wasn’t rational but she almost hated him right now. Probably because she couldn’t bring herself to direct her hatred towards Garron, who was now just as emotionless as the Dark Kindred.
“A few post-op instructions.” Yipper held up one long, hairy finger. “Avoid any situations that might bring up strong emotions in the next few days. This is especially critical around during the end of the first day, when Garron’s brain is first starting to learn to make the drug for itself. Yes it is, yes it is.”
“Why?” Tess asked.
“Once the last of the artificial drug is used up and just before the first batch of the organic drug is made by the brain, the implant is vulnerable to failure—more vulnerable than it will ever be again. Yes it is, yes it is,” Yipper lectured. “In fact, it might be better for you to stay here. Garron could be put into a sensory deprivation room for this first night, to avoid unnecessary stimulation. Yes he could, yes he could.”
“No.” Garron shook his head. “We need to get back to Earth. Tess has unresolved difficulties there.”
Tess looked at him, surprised.
“You remember that?”
He frowned. “I lost my emotions—not my memory. I remember the promises I made to you—the vows I took. I will strive to honor them and keep my word.”
“Thanks but you don’t…don’t have to do that.” She swallowed hard, hoping he would say something like, “But I want to. Want to keep you safe—to protect and avenge you.”
But Garron only shook his head again.
“Not true—I gave my word and I am obligated to keep it. We will go today.”
“All right. Fine.” Tess c
rossed her arms over her chest. “I guess we’d better get going.”
“Goodbye.” Yipper nodded at them. “And remember—be careful this first night. Yes you must, yes you must.”
“We will,” Tess assured him dully. “Of course we will.”
Six inclined his head to her and then to Garron.
“May fortune favor you both.”
“Thanks,” Tess muttered. “But right now I don’t think fortune gives much of a damn for either one of us.” She turned away from the Dark Kindred and looked at Garron. “Come on, let’s go.”
He nodded silently and they left.
Tess cast one last glance over her shoulder as they went and saw that Six was still standing there silently, his red searchlight eye scanning them as they walked away. With a shutter, she turned to face front.
Well at least I kept him from going after that poor girl on Earth—whoever she is. Guess I did my good deed for the day.
Not that it made her feel any better. Looking up to see that blank, uncaring expression on Garron’s face made her feel like she would never feel better again.
Chapter Thirty-two
“Report, Garron. What did you learn?”
Commander Sylvan’s face filled the viewscreen of the small ship which Garron was piloting quickly and efficiently.
“Several things about the past of Zeaga Four,” Garron said smoothly. “There is much to be learned of the Dark Kindred simply by knowing their history…”
He proceeded to tell everything they had heard from Yipper in a cool, robotic voice while Tess sat silently in the passenger seat.
Sylvan nodded as Garron talked.
“I knew that everyone who went to the planet’s surface was required to have some kind of enhancement but I didn’t know emotions are against the law there,” he said thoughtfully.
“Clearly it is to keep the peace,” Garron said. “A most logical solution. Elimination of emotions also eliminates the threat of war.”
“You don’t have to worry about any of this, anyway,” Tess said, speaking up for the first time. “I met the Kindred the girl is dream sharing with—his name is Six.”
“You met him?” Sylvan leaned forward, his face getting larger in the viewscreen. “What did he have to say?”
“Just that he’d seen a girl like me in his dreams. Only she was thinner, of course,” Tess said wryly. “And she has long, straight black hair and she wears glasses—he called them oculars.”
Sylvan was nodding. “Yes, that sounds like Mei-Li—the senator’s daughter.”
“Well then, there you go.” Tess shrugged. “But don’t worry—he says he’s not coming after her. He doesn’t want her—probably because he’s completely emotionless.”
“It is best that he has no emotion to cloud his judgment,” Garron said. “His decision not to pursue a relationship that has no value to him is completely understandable.”
“Given the political situation with Earth right now, it is good news that he doesn’t intend to pursue her, but…” Commander Sylvan cleared his throat and frowned. “Garron, if you don’t mind me asking, you sound…different.”
“He got an emotion damper,” Tess said dully. “Just like the Dark Kindred. Like that Six guy I was telling you about.”
“Oh?” Sylvan raised an eyebrow at Garron. “And that…took care of your problem?”
“It was the only viable solution and so far it has worked well,” Garron acknowledged. “I no longer feel the threat of my dr’gin rising within me. It is as if…as if the damper has put it to sleep.”
“Well then.” Sylvan nodded. “Excellent. And you’ll be back to yourself after the threat is past? Truth told me that tomorrow is your name day but after that…”
“It’s permanent,” Tess said harshly. “This is Garron now. He’s always going to sound this way—be this way—from now on.” She cleared her throat, trying to hold back tears. She didn’t need to cry in front of the Kindred commander.
“Oh…” A look of compassion came over Sylvan’s face. “I am sorry, Tess.”
“That’s all right.” She looked away, biting her lip.
“Clearly it’s not,” Sylvan’s voice was gentle, even over the viewscreen. “Should I try again to get the ban against you lifted so the two of you can come back to the Mother Ship? I know the other females would welcome you and it seems to me you could use what my mate Sophia calls some ‘girl time.’”
“Thank you for your concern but we have unfinished business on Earth,” Garron said, before she could answer. “After it is settled, I will of course return to the Mother Ship.”
“Of course,” Tess said dryly. “Because what reason would you have to stay on Earth?”
“None, once I am assured of your safety,” Garron said, clearly oblivious to her sarcasm. “I have employment and living accommodations aboard the Mother Ship—that is where I belong. But not until I discharge my duty to you.”
“Don’t do me any favors,” Tess snarled, unbuckling her seat belt. She couldn’t stand this anymore. All the way from the medical barge and through the rift in space, Garron had been acting like some kind of a freaking robot. It was as though someone had sucked his soul out and left nothing but an empty shell. It hurt to see him this way. Hurt so much she had to get away from it.
“You really should not unfasten your harness at this juncture,” Garron said, frowning. “We will be descending to Earth’s orbit very shortly. It is safer to be—”
“Screw that.” Tess was up and out of her seat.
“Tess…” Commander Sylvan’s voice on the viewscreen stopped her. When she turned back to it, the look of sympathy on his strong features almost made her lose control.
He knows. He can tell what’s wrong. Her eyes flicked over to Garron, who was sitting there piloting the ship with a completely impassive look on his face. Commander Sylvan knows, but look at Garron—he has no clue. He’s never going to have a clue. He doesn’t care. He’ll never care again.
“I have to go,” she said in a choked voice. “I’m sorry, Commander Sylvan.”
“I’ll tell Sophia or one of her friends to call you,” he promised. “And I’ll try again to get the ban against you lifted.”
“Why bother?” Tess swiped at her eyes. “I have no reason to want to go to the Mother Ship now. I never will again.”
She turned and ran towards the back of the shuttle. She didn’t care what happened to her when they hit Earth’s orbit—she just had to get away for awhile.
* * * * *
“Truly, I do not think it is wise for you to go back to Tampa right now.” Garron frowned at her as they climbed into the cab of the Earth vehicle called a truck outside the Asheville HKR building. “We established that your ex-mate is probably there waiting for you—waiting at the medical care facility where your friend is recuperating.”
“I don’t care about that,” Tess said stubbornly. “The nurse said that Di was awake for a few minutes and that she was calling for me. I have to go see her.”
Garron sighed. Why was she so illogical? She seemed to feel that the emotions she had for her friend outweighed any safety issues. He knew it was his duty to protect her—he had sworn himself to do it and it must be done. But her irrational insistence on putting herself in danger made it much more difficult.
“All right,” he said. “We will go back. But not tonight—the journey is too long.”
“What are you talking about?” Tess’s voice was sharp and brittle and the set of her shoulders was stiff. “We just traveled twenty thousand light years. What’s a few hundred miles?”
“I am fatigued.” He frowned at her. “And you are emotional. Neither of us is fit to drive this vehicle for a long period under these conditions. After a good night’s rest, we will be in much better shape.”
“But—” she started to protest.
Garron held up a hand to stop her.
“The medical attendant said that your friend was out of danger—correct?”
&nbs
p; “Well…yes,” Tess said grudgingly.
“Then a few more hours for a good night’s rest will not make any difference. We will go back to the cabin and sleep. In the morning, we will make the journey. Agreed?”
“Fine,” she muttered, crossing her arms over her chest and looking out the window at the passing scenery. “Take us back to the cabin.”
“Certainly.” Garron nodded. It was the right decision, even if she couldn’t comprehend it with her emotion-clouded judgment. They would rest and tomorrow head back to her home. There he would confront her ex-mate and either kill or incarcerate him. After that, he would be free to go back to the Mother Ship where he belonged. Tess, of course, could get back to her life here on Earth.
Somewhere deep down inside, so far down he could barely feel it, something stirred at the idea of leaving her. Hadn’t he promised they would be together forever—that he would stay with her no matter what?
Garron shook his head. Where was the logic in that? He would keep his promise to make certain she was safe. After that, well, Tess had her life and he had his. It was better to keep them separate.
He maneuvered the truck smoothly through the late afternoon traffic and got into a turning lane. Dimly he remembered that Tess had been surprised at how quickly he had been able to get the hang of driving an Earth vehicle but he didn’t see why—it was exceedingly easy, especially after the complexity of piloting one of the Kindred shuttles.
Four car lengths back on the other side of the road, a gray, unmarked sedan suddenly made a U turn to get into their lane.
Garron didn’t notice. Tess’s shoulders were shaking and he was wondering if she was crying again. If so, was there any way to stop such an illogical display of emotion? It made him…uncomfortable for some reason. Even though it made no sense he didn’t like to see her unhappy.
Deep inside him, the unrest stirred again. Something with sharp fangs and claws like knives uttered a low growl of protest and turned over in its drugged sleep.
Garron shook his head, ignoring the sensation. It was foolish to worry. They would get a good night’s rest and start back to Tampa tomorrow. And then everything was going to be fine. Just fine…
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