He swallowed, listening to the dead silence around him. All he heard was the howl of icy wind.
They were gone. All of them. The little children he’d seen in the square. The parents who’d looked at him first with admiration and then with fear. And disgust.
He’d taken to hiding in the castle, giving orders. But he’d never hidden from danger. When threats had come, he’d made sure everyone was safe.
But that hadn’t been enough. He hadn’t let them feel heard.
And why should he? He was the lord of winter, born to greatness. He would know best.
He’d known some of them were migrating, but he was sure when they went out there and saw what was waiting, they’d be back. He was the strongest, after all.
He was… special.
He ran down the stairs and out of his castle, then down through the town square. He could hear Luka and Dmitri following.
He looked from side to side, listening for anything. There was nothing.
He stopped just outside the town and realized there was no one. Not for miles.
He fell to his knees in the snow, feeling ice whirl around him as he put his hands to his head with a low groan. He’d ruined everything. How was it possible? His father had said he couldn’t fail.
He continued walking for hours, ignoring his friends as they called out to him, going over the past few months in his mind.
When he’d been fighting other dragons, what had been happening with the villagers? Why hadn’t he wanted to listen at all?
Because he shouldn’t have to. Because it was all their fault. Because if everyone would just listen to him, just let him be enough, then he would be the lord of winter. The lord of everything.
Like his father.
Instead, he was the lord of nothing. Blank, sterile whiteness all around.
It was growing colder around him and colder within. His heart was tightening painfully as he tried to decide what to do next.
And he couldn’t seem to control his blizzard as it surrounded him with a thick, icy cloud so that he could barely see his friends.
“We’re not leaving you, Alek,” Dmitri said, finally catching up to him. “It’s not over. We can still go back. Face your father, make things better.”
“No!” Alek shook his head sharply. Alek’s father had raised him for one thing alone. If he failed at it, there was no point going back there. He didn’t want anyone to know.
He hadn’t been raised with love. His mother had stayed away, as his dad had insisted on raising him to be the future king. His dad hadn’t seen what influence a mother could have had that would toughen him up.
Luka and Dmitri had been the only ones to care about him, but had that all been a lie? Were they simply waiting to see him fail? Were they jealous?
“How could they leave? I did everything perfectly! I fought for them every time!”
Luka shook his head slowly, and his icy blue eyes were sad as they met Alek’s. “No, sire. You fought for yourself. You fought to prove something to the other dragons and to prove something to your father. Meanwhile, the people depending on you were never in your thoughts.”
Was that true? Had he missed the whole point of ruling?
He looked out at the landscape around him. So barren. So cold.
If he was truly like that, he wasn’t going to change. It was too late now. He had already failed.
“Don’t do something stupid,” Dmitri said, taking a step closer even as the blizzard swirled harder.
“Get back,” Alek said as the ice rose higher. “I cannot control it.”
“You can,” Luka said. Putting a hand up, he tried to walk forward, which was difficult with the wind.
“I can’t!” Alek shrieked into the wilderness, feeling hate and pain well up in his soul. Hate of himself for being so useless. Hate of his friends for letting him down. “You failed me!”
Dmitri nodded solemnly. “I know. But we can do better.”
“It’s too late! I can never face my father now!” Alek whirled to look away from them.
“Alek, if you don’t take responsibility now, it really is too late. Your father taught you that you were perfect, but you don’t have to be. You don’t have to be special to be a good king. Or a good friend. Or a good dragon.”
“But I am special!” Alek shouted back, clenching his fists as everything started to go cold. “I did nothing wrong, and those people can go die for all I care!”
“Alek, no,” Luka said, grimacing. “Control your snow. It’s too cold.”
“Is it?” Alek yelled. “Because I can’t feel anything. If it’s too cold for you, then go!”
“No,” Dmitri said. “Never. We may not see eye to eye, but we aren’t leaving you. We are responsible for this as well. Now, control your snow. No one can withstand it.”
“I can!” Alek said. “I’m special, remember? Special and better than anyone else! So just go and leave me alone!”
But as he finished screaming, whiteness wholly encapsulated him, making everything choke up inside. He gasped as things started to go black.
With his last look, he searched for Dmitri’s and Luka’s faces, praying they weren’t hurt.
And then everything went cold and still.
* * *
“Alek.”
As the memory subsided, Alek became slowly aware of hands grabbing him. Shaking him. Pulling him free of the icy cold grasp of the past.
Though he was awake now and he remembered everything, things were far from okay.
He pushed himself back from his friends, barely able to look in their eyes now that he knew the truth.
“What happened?” Luka asked, stepping forward and then pausing when Alek put up a hand.
He couldn’t face them right now. He didn’t deserve to be with them. He’d taken everything away from them because of his stubborn pride and lack of control. His inability to face his own shortcomings.
If only he had never remembered his past…
“Let us help you. We should get you home,” Dmitri said, stepping forward.
Alek shook his head fiercely, trying to calm the blizzard that was swirling within and triggering more snow all around him. “I remember. I remember everything.”
Luka and Dmitri shared a grim look.
“We are sorry,” they said in tandem.
Alek’s eyes widened. “Sorry for what?”
“For not telling you what happened,” Dmitri said. “We’d hoped that, somehow, this new life, this new world could be a new start for you.”
Alek felt tears well in his eyes, threatening to freeze in the bitter wind. They knew. They’d known the whole time, and they wanted a new start for him?
“I… I didn’t deserve to wake up. I pushed everyone away. I hurt both of you. I took everything for granted, too stuck in chasing my father’s legacy to see the error of my ways. I got what I deserved, but you didn’t. And I can only say I’m sorry now. And let you leave.” He turned his back on them, hatred for himself welling up inside. They were the ones who deserved a new start.
He wasn’t the lord of winter. He was the lord of bullshit. The lord of ruining everything.
The lord of letting his friends down.
Then he felt strong arms around him. Two sets nearly crushing him in one large pile of warmth. He struggled, but Dmitri and Luka wouldn’t release him.
“Did you think we never cared for you?” Luka asked roughly. “We saw your egotism, but we knew you were never your father. We had hope for you. You did protect the village. You did what you were trained to do from birth.”
“We were your friends, and we didn’t know how to help you,” Dimitri added. “We were born to royal families, told it was our duty to simply help you. To never second-guess you. By the time we realized that you needed the opposite, for people to tell you you’d gone wrong, it was too late.”
“I wouldn’t have listened,” Alek said. “The expectation of perfection was too deeply rooted within me. Even now, I don’t
know who I am, knowing about my failure.”
Dmitri and Luka finally pulled back, giving him room to breathe while not releasing him. “Things have been different since you awakened,” Dmitri said.
“Yes,” Luka said, keeping his hands on his friends’ shoulders as he stepped back even farther. “And look, the snow is gone. Sire, you’re back in control.”
“First thing, you’re both going to just call me Alek. No more lord. No more sire. You’re my friends, not beneath me at all.”
There was silence at that, and then his friends nodded.
Friends. Just thinking of them like that instead of as advisors was refreshing. Why had his father never allowed him to just have normal friends? A normal childhood?
Perhaps things would have been different that way. But now…
“I’m am sorry. I took our whole world away.”
“Who wanted that world?” Dmitri said, throwing his hands in the air. “A world of pressure and fighting, families who saw us only as tools. The only friends we ever had were each other, and we are still together now.”
Alek smiled at that slightly.
“Maybe it’s fate,” Luka said earnestly. “Maybe we weren’t meant for oblivion. Maybe this was the way to a second chance for us. Besides, I like living in this new world.”
Dmitri thought for a second. “I like having plentiful food and a microwave.”
“I like not having to fight rival dragons constantly,” Luka said.
“I’ll miss that,” Alek said wistfully, drawing the attention of his friends. “Though, I’m sure there are still ways I can be helpful in this world.”
“Yes,” Luka said. “I am sure there are shifters here. And evil humans. And problems that someone with our powers can solve. But for now, perhaps we should focus on merely living.”
Living. That’s what he had been doing. Without his memory, he’d been free to live as a normal man who could spend time how he wished and discover himself and love someone…
Mate, his heart echoed.
“I have a confession,” Alek said quietly. “Talia. I am in love with her.”
“We know,” Dmitri said flatly.
Alek’s jaw dropped again. “How?”
“It was obvious,” Luka said. “You’ve been changing. You’ve been helping her, but not for any credit or to prove yourself strong. You’ve been protecting her, following her around. We’ve never seen you like this. We like it.”
Alek felt himself flush and bit his lower lip nervously. “So what do I do now?”
“What does your heart say?” Dmitri asked.
Alek rubbed his chest, wondering why he’d never thought to listen to the part of him in question. He’d had goals. He’d had ego. But feelings? Those had been buried deep. And ironically, with all the memories of his past blocked, his heart had been allowed to awaken.
And it knew what he wanted right now.
“Talia,” he said softly. “I want to see her.” He wanted to hold her and figure out how to tell her what he was. He didn’t know if he should tell her his past, if she would hate him, but he knew he had to take a chance.
He couldn’t imagine a life without her.
“Then let’s go find your mate,” Dmitri said, cracking his neck side to side. “I’m tired of the cold anyway.”
“Mate?” Alek asked, curious how Dmitri knew the same word.
“Even in our time, there were love matches. Not for royals like your parents or Luka’s but for lesser dragons. They even matched with humans sometimes, if they fell for them. And they called them mates because, beyond marriage, they were destined for each other for life.”
“Mates,” Alek said, testing the word on his tongue for the first time. He liked it. “Yes, let’s go find Talia.” He could tell her everything. Find out her feelings, ask her to be his mate.
He couldn’t remember their conversation perfectly, due to the oncoming flashbacks, but he knew she hadn’t wanted to turn him in and that she wanted to keep taking things one step at a time.
The next step was for him to go to her and tell her everything that was in his heart.
“I’ll call Chelle. See if she’s with Talia,” Luka said, pulling out his phone.
“You have Chelle’s number?” Dmitri asked, not looking pleased about it.
“Yes, she gave it to me in case we needed it,” Luka said flatly.
Alek wondered what had been going on between his friends while he was gone. When he got things worked out with Talia, he would make sure to ask them. Be a better friend than he had been so far. They would see a new side of him; that was certain.
Luka dialed the number and put the phone to his ear. “Yes, Chelle? It’s Luka. Is Talia there? Alek wants to talk to her.” Luka frowned. “Oh. Got it. Well, if you do see her, let her know we’re all fine and we’re headed back. Okay, see you in a minute.”
When Luka hung up the phone, Alek stared at him curiously. “What’s going on?”
“She’s not there. She said she wanted to go to the lab just in case Alek came back there while we were looking for him. With Chelle at the apartment and us looking outside, Talia wanted all bases covered. She just left.”
Alek frowned. “She was worried. I need to go see her as soon as possible.”
“Do you want us to come with you?” Dmitri asked.
Alek shook his head. “I appreciate your help. I can’t say what your support means to me. But I need to do this on my own.”
“Okay,” Dmitri said. “But let us know if you need help.”
“I will,” Alek said. “And for everything else, I hope you can someday forgive me. I never meant to cause you harm.”
“We already forgave you, doofus,” Luka said, making Dmitri grin and nod in agreement. “Now get over to the lab and reassure your human.”
Alek sighed. “All right, then.”
As his friends headed in the direction of the apartment, he set off toward the lab to make things right with Talia, his mate.
Chapter 18
When Alek got to the lab, he knocked on the door but didn’t hear anything from Talia. Was she in there? Was she hurt? Not caring about the consequences and feeling guilty for causing her worry already, he slammed his shoulder into the door, forcing it open, knowing he’d probably be in trouble for it later.
Which didn’t matter as long as Talia was fine.
But when he stumbled into the lab, eager to see his mate again, he was surprised to see someone else standing in the middle of the floor, staring over at him curiously.
He was a shorter man, though a few inches taller than Talia. He wore thick glasses low on his nose and had receding brown hair combed over in an odd style. He was somewhat portly, and there was a shrewd look in his gray eyes as he took a long, full-body appraisal of Alek.
“So you must be our ice man?” The stranger folded his arms. He was wearing a white coat like Talia sometimes did. “I can see why Talia’s been secretive about you.” His eyes finally met Alek’s again. “You’re quite an impressive specimen.”
Alek frowned. “You are the one who found me?”
The man nodded. “Though, I had no idea you were still alive. If Talia hadn’t meddled with more than she should have, if she had only taken small samples, we might never have known. My name is Henrick, by the way. Dr. Henrick.”
Alek maintained his scowl, not liking this man at all, though he wasn’t sure why. “Where is Talia?”
Henrick shrugged. “Was she supposed to be here?” He checked his watch. “I was going to meet her later, but I was planning to check up on you alone at first. Of course, when I saw the broken crate, I could only surmise what had happened. But never in my wildest dreams would I think you could be alive.”
Alek just stared at the man, wishing he would go away and Talia would appear in his place.
“Of course, when I saw everything broken, I made sure to check Talia’s email. So silly of her to think I wouldn’t be capturing all the passwords on the lab’s computer. Mon
itoring everything. I simply didn’t check before I needed to. Of course, once I logged in, it was easy to see her communication with Iris, and then I knew all I needed to.” He walked closer to Alek, studying him rather like Alek used to look at a pile of gold. “Very interesting indeed. You would do well in a museum.”
Alek’s heart thumped hard at that. “A what?” No one would take him from Talia. He listened for his powers, but despite regaining his memory, he wasn’t sure he could still bring forth his ice.
“A museum. Or maybe a tour. After we do a lot more testing. Then again, maybe you’ll go in a vault or something. Maybe the government won’t want anyone to know people like you exist.” Dr. Henrick circled Alek slowly, hands clasped behind his back. “Who knows what will happen?”
“Nothing will happen,” Alek said. “Talia said no one was going to study me. We are in love.”
The man looked genuinely shocked, then threw back his head and laughed. “You aren’t serious, are you? Talia is a scientist. You are the find of a century. Besides, can you get a job? Can you do anything in this world but be a burden on her? Besides your body, what can you offer a woman like her?”
For the first time since he’d decided to come over to the lab, Alek felt a bit of uncertainty. “I… offer enough.”
“You don’t understand this world,” Dr. Henrick said. “You don’t understand how smart a woman like Talia is. If she is given credit for discovering you, she would be set up for life. But if she tries to hide you? Protect you now that I know what you are?” Dr. Henrick tsked and shook his head. “She’d be in trouble. She’d have to abandon everything. I would of course fire her, but then I’d also have to tell the proper authorities that something dangerous was around.”
Alek rose to his full height. “If you know what I am, what am I?”
“I don’t know exactly,” Dr. Henrick admitted. “But I know that with your special… resilience, you may be something not altogether safe to leave in our world. If you ran, I’m afraid I’d have no choice but to turn you in.”
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