by E J Pay
I stop pacing and whirl to face her. “Wait, you mean we’re not alone? I have more family? Why didn’t I ever meet them?” My heart is racing and tears fill my eyes. My mom looks like she is swallowing a bitter pill. She has kept this a secret from me my whole life and now she has to come clean. She closes her dark eyes slowly as she exhales. When she opens her eyes again to look at me, I notice the many, many grey hairs growing throughout her brunette waves.
“Your father’s family have all lived in the sea for so long they can’t come on land any more. They all have scales and fins and are all merpeople. For the most part, your dad’s extended family have moved to other parts of the world. Your grandparents passed away a decade ago. You just read about Dad’s only brother.”
I sit on the edge of the other bed, opposite my mom. “I thought we were the only two people in the world who were a part of our family.”
“We were the only two on land, Evelyn.”
“What about Grandma and Grandpa Barnes? Do they live in the ocean too?”
My mother stiffens and her eyes glisten with tears. “No, Evelyn. My parents are dead like you were told as a child. They are gone.”
Her tears are my warning to calm down. My mom is not big on crying, so I know if I have gotten tears from her, I have pushed too far. I take a deep breath and stare at the speckled pattern of the carpet. As I calm myself down, I look up at her, ready for her to finish. She says nothing for a while. She just looks at me with a thoughtful expression. I know she is trying to figure out where to go from here.
“Evelyn,” she says with a sigh at last. “I had to protect you. That last journal entry you read was stopped because of an underwater lava flow. It had started earlier in the day and your father left to help make sure the city would not be harmed.” She stands and moves to look out of the window as she continues her story.
“As I was writing in my journal, there was a knock on the door. My neighbor came to tell me that the flow had reached a critical point and we were being asked to evacuate. I swam through the streets as fast as I could, looking for your father. We finally found each other and were headed back to land.
“We found your Uncle Adrian and Aunt Ceto and were all going back together when a cry sprang up behind us. The lava had broken through the city wall and was pouring into the street, creating a huge wall of heat and fire and air. Your father and uncle left to help the other Atlanteans close the breach. Your aunt and I were motionless by the city wall, staring at the lava heading our way.” I sit still on the bedside, taking in this new history about my family.
“Your father’s mother, your grandmother, came swimming toward us. She was afraid and when she saw your Aunt Ceto, her fear turned to anger. She exploded like the lava behind her. She yelled at Ceto, telling her it was her fault the lava had come through the city. She said the lava was evil and Ceto was evil and the two belonged together. She was out of control and soon other women were stopping to hear what she was screaming about. They were all afraid of what was happening, they were all afraid for their lives and the lives of their husbands and brothers. To hear that the strange person in front of them was the cause of their danger was all they needed to break into a frenzy.” My mother sighs deeply and returns to sit on the bed, facing me openly and with an honesty she has kept from me.
“Soon, Ceto and I were surrounded by women, some with fins, some without. They were all yelling and pushing. Some were trying to get at Ceto. I grabbed Ceto by the wrist and we swam ahead as fast as we could. Your father and uncle swam up beside us. They had seen the women and came to protect us. Ceto was crying and we kept swimming. Your grandmother was right behind us, still maniacal in her fear. Still shouting. Still drawing a crowd.
“Your Uncle Adrian stopped and turned to face her. Probably to calm her down. It was his way to be a peacemaker. But I won’t ever know what he was going to say or do. Just as he stopped and turned, the lava broke through the wall and it took Adrian with it. We saw the whole thing. Your grandmother started screaming like mad and swam away in another direction shouting that ‘Ceto the devil killed her son’. I heard a scream next to me. It was Ceto. She was like a grotesque statue, etched with a scream on her face. I don’t think she even knew the sound was coming from her. She started to swim toward the lava flow, trying to get to Adrian’s burned body.” My mom puts her head in her hands, staring at the floor as she continues.
“Your father grabbed both me and Ceto and dragged us behind him as he swam to safety. I never realized before just how strong he was. He swam with increasing speed, lava breaking through behind us all the way. Huge clouds of boiling water rose upward through the sea with a hiss that almost spoke words. Ceto and I were in shock. He took us a safe distance then kissed me before turning to Ceto. He touched her cheek to show his sympathy. His eyes were full of sadness, but there was still danger to many sea dwellers below. He had to go back to help. So Ceto and I continued to the land on our own.” My mom straightens again, but keeps her eyes on something behind me, reliving this memory.
“Finally, Ceto and I reached the surface. I knew I couldn’t go back into the ocean. It was madness down there and I had an unborn child to care for. This was going to be my last resurfacing. Ceto was gasping for air next to me. She had changed enough that she couldn’t live on land. She looked into my eyes and I knew she could not come with me. She was filled with pain from breathing air and filled with pain from having just lost Adrian. I knew she would leave me. I knew I couldn’t follow. I screamed and I screamed. There was nothing more I could do. She dove back into the ocean and I never saw her again. The pain she must have felt that day and at that moment. I am not at all surprised by how much she has done to take revenge. I just wish I could have been with her to help her make sense of it all.”
My mother’s eyes are streaming with tears, but she isn’t sobbing. Her voice is calm and steady. My own eyes are spilling over for this family I never met and the pain they suffered those many years ago. My mother looks at me again as she continues.
“Your father and I lived in the beach house after that. When you were born you brought us so much joy where there had been so much pain and sorrow. We were in love with you from the first moment we saw you. We were very happy.” My mom’s face is soft for a moment before she continues.
“As your father and I were finishing up school, money was tight. We knew we could lose our little beach house and we were looking everywhere for money. I worked a small job, just part time as a waitress, but it wasn’t enough. We didn’t want to put you in daycare either, it just wasn’t worth leaving you alone. That’s about the time that some of our old friends approached your dad about the sunken treasure hunt.”
This is the part of the story I know very well. I have asked about it many times. My parents were poor and in need of money when I was barely a year old and they were still in school. My mom was a waitress and my dad worked in a marine salvage yard. They were still a year out from graduation. We were happy, but we were about to be homeless. We were in need with no one to turn to.
Just as things seemed their bleakest, some of my dad’s friends from college approached him. They had been studying the Bermuda triangle theories and were sure they could get rich by finding sunken ships. There were tales of gold and treasure going down with their ships and crew, never to be seen again. It was tantalizing and my father couldn’t ignore the possibility of financial freedom. My mother protested. She was sure they could figure out some other way to make the money, but my father would not be swayed.
My dad asked the salvage yard owner if he could borrow the boat for a weekend fishing trip, it was early September. He left for his weekend excursion in clear skies. But late the next day as they were getting ready to dive again off the Coast of North Bimini Island, a storm hit. Despite their efforts to pull up anchor, turn around and head to safety, the storm overtook them. Two of the men were swept overboard. By the time my dad and the remaining crewmen on board got the radio working, the two lost ha
dn’t been seen for hours. But my dad and the others wouldn’t head to shore without them. They continued to stay at sea and within an hour the boat was lost beneath the waves, the crew on the radio the entire time. Several days later, the body of one of the men washed up on the shore of South Bimini Island.
Another two weeks passed before the air search was called off. My mother, broken-hearted, needed to leave. She took everything she had in the world and we headed to the desert to finish her education. We were poor for a while but we survived. Student loans carried us that first year. Then my mom could teach to support us a little better. Once I entered kindergarten, my mom got her master’s degree and later, her PhD in Native American studies. The mystery of the desert and her own heritage had really gotten a hold on her. Either that or she was trying to distance herself (and me) as far from the ocean as she could.
I am beginning to at least understand her chronic aversion to the ocean. It is more than the death of my father, she has seen the ocean at its worst, bubbling in heat and fury as lava – that molten hot land – tries to take over. She’s seen the fear and frenzy that accompanies the anger of frightened merpeople. She lost her husband, her only love. She has a horrific fear of the ocean. I do not.
“Evelyn,” she says to me, “I’ve talked with the admissions department at ASU and you can enter in the spring. You don’t have to stay here and face all of this. To be honest, I don’t know if I can stand to have you face all of this. It has been so long since I’ve even heard from Ceto. There’s no telling what she is capable of or what she is planning. The fact that you are my daughter may not do anything to protect you.”
Wow. Ceto. I don’t know why it hadn’t registered before that my aunt is the enemy Atlantis is fighting against. I don’t know if that would be good for others to know. What if they think I am a traitor? But I’m not. I am even closer to the ocean now than I was before. I know I can’t leave.
“Oh, Mom. I can’t go. I’m just starting to feel comfortable in the ocean. My abilities are getting so strong. Just this morning as I was leaving Pisces, he said that my water temperature control was very impressive. I...”
“Evelyn! Please be rational!” My mother’s gentle tones are gone. Her obvious frustration is so strong that it takes me aback. “You have joined an army! You are only 17 years old and you are fighting in an army under the oceans. There is no possible way you can be serious here!”
My pride is hurt at this. I am not a child anymore. I have made some good decisions on my own and it feels empowering. I love my mom very much, but I am not going to live solely to please her. I need to see this thing through, if for nothing other than to find out who I really am. I am determined to make her see that.
“Mom! Wait a minute! You haven’t even seen what I can do under the ocean! I haven’t even tested all of my abilities!”
She stands. “Abilities! Evelyn! If this was a time of peace, then you would have the chance to test and fully learn about your abilities. All that will happen now is that Lady Pescara will find out what you can do and then she’ll line you up with the right minions so you can fight! That is not testing your abilities or learning anything about yourself, Evelyn! That is just playing the part of the pawn!” My mother’s face is beet red. Angry tears are welling up in her eyes now. Concern is written all over her face. No, concern isn’t the right word. It is desperation.
I should have known this would be the outcome of my mom knowing what I’ve been up to for all this time. I guess that’s why I waited so long to confide in the one person who would love me most. I knew she’d try to protect me and make me change my mind. But I know my mind won’t be changed. I push down the fire welling up within me. I know what I have to do. It isn’t going to be pleasant, so I want to be as calm as I can to get through it.
“Mom, I love you very much. I’m sorry it has to be this way. I have to go back.” I get up from the bed and grab my things. My mom is arguing, pleading with me to stay. I cannot stand the pain of separating myself from her in such an open way. I know I have to leave as soon as I can. As I reach the door, I turn to face her. For the first time in the past few moments, she is complete silence, anxiety fighting its way through her eyes. I go to her and wrap my arms around her, hugging her tightly. She cries softly into my hair, the strength she normally displays completely melting away. I kiss her tear-streaked cheek, pull myself away, and head out the door, the sound of her last desperate, “Please…” bringing stinging tears to my eyes.
Chapter 15
I get an Uber to take me back to my apartment. I remember the driver’s smell – very musty. I was silent the entire way. Neither of my roommates are here now. My movements are mechanical. I do everything without thinking. I go to my room, grab my best hiking bag and start filling it with things I will need. I am heading back to the ocean and I want to stay for a long time. Several swimsuits, wetsuits, and even my flippers. I pack up a brush and some hair ties, determined to tame my locks from now on. A toothbrush and toothpaste make up the rest of my supplies. Atlantis takes care of the rest. As I zip up my bag, I see a picture on my dresser. A picture of me and my mom. I need it with me. I put it in a heavy duty Ziploc bag so it will not be ruined by the ocean water, and I add it to my bag.
It has been a long day and I am emotionally exhausted. I want to head back to the sea right now, but I know I want to be well prepared for it. So, I make myself some eggs, bacon, toast, and juice and put on my warm pajamas. Celia’s parents are probably spending the weekend in Atlantis with her. Her parents know about her water abilities. They even prepared her for them. She has their support 100%. I don’t have my mom’s support. I don’t have a dad. I am envious of Celia. Warm tears – they will be my last tears – well up in my eyes. I allow myself this last, good cry as I fall asleep. Tomorrow I am going to become new. Tomorrow I am going to begin to discover who I really am. But just for tonight, I am letting go of the old me.
Chapter 16
Early Monday I return to Atlantis. I am one of the first recruits to return and despite Celia’s smug look and accusations that I am brown-nosing, I am glad to be back. I keep checking around me to see if my mom has followed me to the ocean. She has water abilities, and I wonder if she will come here to try to stop me. I am relieved as the entire day goes by without seeing her. I am also a little sad. It would be nice to be able to share this with her – with someone who loves me.
Because of my constant tendency to look over my shoulder, Monday drags on far longer than it should. By the time my head hits my sponge pillow and I pull my seagrass blanket up around me, I am sure I won’t be seeing my mom here. She had a ticket back to Arizona and she used it.
It’s Tuesday now, and I dive head-first into my studies. We train and train day after day, knowing that our lives in battle depend on it. I learn how to use a mace and nun-chucks and a sword. I learn to control my body underwater and how to harness my increased speed and agility. I ache each night in many new places, but I begin to see success as my body learns to fight. My university studies continue here as well. Several teachers from FIU are here, keeping everyone current on their classes. I start working for the Aquarius program, taking information from sea creatures and relaying to those who haven’t learned how to speak to them. I am glad for the added work. It gives me somewhere to keep my mind. It brings in more money which helps me keep up on the few land bills that I still have to pay. Captain Jack leaves for a few hours each day to work with the boat tours. I go with him occasionally, usually when I have a day off.
Even though I know my mom is opposed to my being here, I still send her word of how I am doing. A once-weekly post heads to land and I always have a letter in it for her. I receive several letters from her, telling me how much she loves me, begging me to be safe, and offering to come get me if I change my mind and want to come home.
We begin testing our combat skills in mock training battles. For the training battles, we wear bulky armor like Celia and Jack wore when they battled. It is heavy an
d cumbersome and slows my movement in the water even though I am still moving faster than any man from land could do. I feel so slow by comparison to my unfettered self. But the armor cannot protect us from each other completely. I go back to my tent with bruises and cuts each night.
During all of this training, recruits are being taken out of practice for abilities testing. There are seven known abilities: tide control, water temperature control, wave control, current control, sea creature communications, communications with moisture above water like humidity and rain, and communications with the actual air that lingers over the water. Nature has worked hard to make sure that no one sea dweller can hold all seven skills. So far, I have tested positive for four of the seven skills: tide, water temperature, wave control and sea creature communications. Today, I am with my group of 10 testing communications with the air lingering over the water.
For the test, Jack’s group of 50 has been sent south to the ancient, underwater Bimini Wall where we can be disguised as amateur scuba divers checking out the natural rock formation. Each group of 10 has a diving boat, so there are 5 white-sailed boats floating lifelessly out to sea. The Bimini wall is, of course, anything but a natural rock formation. It was anciently a dock for the ships of Tarsus who traded with Atlantis for goods and gold. Like many of the ocean’s secrets, however, truth gives way to legend and legend to science. Science hasn’t figured out how to measure the ocean’s power.
Once our boat floats above the wall, half of my group suits up for a dive. This is so we can look like a real diving group. The remaining half of the group will be undergoing the test.