by Annie Boone
Swallowing, Rowena looked down. “I don’t rightly know, I’m afraid. I came here because I really didn’t have any other place to go. So, there’s no place to go back to. I really don’t know what I’m going to do next.” The enormity of her actions weighed on her shoulders again. Hesitantly she rubbed her hands together and tried to imagine what she was to do next. Get a job? Keep going further west? Where would she end up, and what would she do?
To her surprise, Susannah smiled. “Well, that’s nothing to worry about. You are most welcome here for as long as you need, Miss—oh dear, I am talking too much. I’m terribly sorry, I’ve forgotten my manners. Whatever shall I call you?”
“Rowena,” she offered, “Rowena Oakton.”
Mrs. Jessup beamed at her. “Then welcome, Miss Rowena Oakton. We are most glad to have you here. Now, would you like another cookie or would you like a tour first?” And she produced such a light-hearted grin with bright eyes that Rowena nearly forgot that the woman was older than herself.
Overwhelmed with such friendly kindness, Rowena didn’t know what to do. “I suppose a tour would be nice. And I’m really sorry I’m not sure how long I’ll be here. A few weeks, I suppose? I’m still sorting some things out, I’m afraid.”
“Don’t you worry,” Susannah assured her. “Things will sort out as they should. Do come along to see the house, and then we’ll return for another cookie. So this is our kitchen, as you can see. There’s plenty of room for all the necessary cooking, the churning.” Taking Rowena’s arm, she showed her about the place.
At the first bedroom they came to, Rowena put down her bag and Susannah explained where everything was. Though it was definitely a boarding house, Susannah explained, the cheap price and amenities was meant to ensure everyone learned their independence. Guests were granted access to exactly what they needed, no more and no less. It was apparent that Susannah had put together a fluid system that would work seamlessly and allow for the least amount of work for all included parties. It was just as fascinating as everything else at the Jessup home and boarding house.
Rowena’s courage grew as she went from one room of the house to the next with Susannah. It turned out that her temporary home was as lovely inside as it was outside. Every room impressed her, from the abundant bookshelves to the large sitting room. A cozy place with more than enough room, she wondered as if it might be actually be bigger than that gambling house in Manhattan. She wrinkled her nose at the thought of that place, and smiled as Mrs. Jessup looked at her.
Suddenly she realized how much easier it was to think of good things in a wonderful atmosphere like Rocky Ridge. Rowena dashed out thoughts of the past and focused on the thrill of excitement running through her veins at the prospect of living in Colorado—and far away from New York—for the rest of her life.
After grabbing another cookie as they passed by the kitchen, the women went outside and wound their way down the path around the barn and garden. Every part of the place was lovely. Idyllic, even. Rowena marveled at her luck and part of her wished she would never need to leave this, though she knew she couldn’t live with the Jessup couple forever.
“Well I’m sure you’re tired now that you’ve finished the last part of your journey,” Susannah said as they returned inside. “You should rest, and we’ll see you for supper?” She patted Rowena’s arm and guided her towards the hallway so she wouldn’t get lost. “First door on your left, dear.” And then she walked away humming.
Obediently Rowena went to the bedroom and settled on the bed. Looking around the room, she wondered at the space she had now. She’d never had a room to herself. It was so large, so clean, and currently all hers. She felt tears sting her eyes when the gravity of the events of the last few months sunk in completely. She shook the tears away and decided to just be happy to have made it to Rocky Ridge, Colorado.
Though she strongly believed she would never be able to fall asleep with all the emotions she was experiencing, the young woman’s eyelids soon closed and her head nestled into the curve of a very soft pillow.
Chapter Eight
It was springtime, and three weeks had passed before Rowena knew it. Every day brought her a new adventure with lessons to learn and hard work to complete. From her days of cleaning and serving drinks at the gambling house, she adapted quickly to the necessities of housework, gardening, and sewing. She wasn’t afraid of the hard work.
“You look like a queen out there,” she smiled at the pink cheeks Susannah wore as she returned inside from her ride with Lucas. Rowena was making supper on her own for the first time, and with the hearty stew simmering in the cast iron pot, she had a moment’s respite. Trying to look calm herself, she stepped aside to let the woman inside. “Have you been riding all your life?”
Her innocent comment made Susannah burst into laughter. “Oh goodness sakes, no. Same as you, I grew up in the city. I lived in Boston, until I was about eighteen. Or maybe it was nineteen. Gracious, I can’t even really remember. Did you make cornbread?”
Rowena looked worried for a minute, and then nodded quickly. “Oh, yes. It’s baking now.”
Susannah grinned. “Oh, of course. I didn’t notice it. Perfect, then. We’re almost set, I think.” She smiled and looked around the room. “You see, I answered an ad to become a wife. It’s how I got here to marry Lucas. We’d been married nearly a year before he got me on a horse. I’ve been unsteady on them ever since, I’m afraid. Oh dear, I smell something burning.”
Rowena sniffed the air with a frown. “Oh!” The young lady hurried over, realizing she had forgotten to keep stirring the stew. Grabbing a large wooden spoon, she stirred, making sure nothing was sticking to the bottom of the pot. The burning smell faded, but she frowned, having thought she’d been doing so well.
Then Susannah was there, watching carefully but silent. Rowena could feel the woman’s gaze on her, and hoped she would tell her what to do, but she said nothing. “I think it will turn out all right,” Rowena offered. “Most of it, I think?”
About to turn for confirmation, she glanced down to see the hot tray of cornbread growing dark brown around the edges. Reaching behind her, she picked up a towel and moved the bread onto the table. “That’s better,” she murmured. “Right?”
Her heart pounded, hoping she hadn’t ruined everything. It had taken quite some time to prepare the meal, gathering and measuring and cutting. No one had food to waste, so she would feel truly terrible if the meal had to be thrown out because she ruined it. With a furrowed brow, she concentrated her efforts on saving the meal, and once everything was no longer burning, she turned to the table which she had yet to finish setting.
Mrs. Jessup was humming, standing over by the window. Every time she glanced towards the woman while setting up the supper table, she was still there. Just two days ago they’d had another snowfall, a light one but snow just the same. Wrapped in a shawl, Susannah was ready the moment her husband came in.
She was pouring mugs of water as Mr. Jessup came home, stamping his boots dry just outside the front door and shaking off the moisture from his hair. Rowena paused as Susannah stepped forward to help him shed his coat, and rubbed her shawl over his head to dry it. Her actions were unnecessary, but they shared smiles as they worked to dry him off.
Rowena paused and watched, wondering if they could read each other’s minds, the way they said nothing. This was different than anything Rowena had seen before. Her aunt and uncle had never been this caring or well, pleasant, to each other. And it certainly was nothing like the behavior she’d seen at the gambling house, the smarmy pinches and wicked winks.
Trying to understand, she watched even though it felt as if she were intruding. Biting her lip, she tried to guess what they were saying in the silence, but she didn’t know the language. Suddenly, she realized she wanted a special form of expression with a kind and loving man one day. The thought was a jolt and it made her look away quickly. Reminding herself that she didn’t normally get what she wanted, she tried
to push the new longing deep inside.
“Good evening, Rowena. It’s good to see you. Something smells mighty good.” Lucas smiled as he spoke to her and gave her a nod. She managed one back, and he busied himself by putting away his things and Susannah helped out in the kitchen. Within a few minutes, they were all seated down and enjoying supper.
That night, Rowena couldn’t sleep as she thought about the way Susannah and Lucas had looked at each other. Had they done it before, and she simply hadn’t noticed? Tossing and turning, she tried to make sense of it but couldn’t. After a short lifetime of never seeing any married couple truly happy, she wondered if the idea of love might actually be real.
The next morning, she was still tired and distracted, and it wasn’t until much later that she recalled she was supposed to be paying for rent again. Rowena glanced at Susannah who was knitting a baby blanket for a friend, and wondered why it hadn’t been mentioned. Or most likely, she realized, it had been mentioned and she hadn’t been paying attention.
“Pardon me,” she excused herself and hurried to her room. Pulling out her bag from beneath the bed, Rowena knelt and dug through the wrinkled old thing and reached into the furthermost pocket where she’d been keeping the last of her coins. But as she felt around, she realized there weren’t any there.
Inhaling sharply, Rowena frowned and tossed the bag upside down, shaking it madly. Surely there were still a few more coins. It seemed impossible, and she could hardly believe things were this bad. After all, what would she do? She’d be tossed out, and to do what? To beg on the streets? She’d been enjoying her time here so much that she hadn’t given much thought again to the idea of leaving. Or of how she’d keep paying her room and board bill.
After feeling around every crevice of the bag and dumping her the contents of her reticule out on the bed, eventually Rowena managed to find a few last lingering coins and one bill. Just enough. Displaying the money in her hand, her heart felt as empty as the bag was now. Knowing she needed to tell Susannah she had leave tomorrow left a lump in her throat. She’d have to go since she couldn’t pay to stay.
But it couldn’t wait, she knew. She had seen folks at the gambling house live in denial and were often physically kicked out. Rowena wouldn’t be like that. Taking a deep breath, she closed a fist over the last of her money and made her way downstairs.
“Excuse me, Mrs. Jessup?” She stood in the hallway, suddenly nervous. Her heart pounded as her mouth turned dry. Rowena tried to find the right words as her boarding lady looked up with that cheerful smile. “I’m afraid I must be leaving tomorrow,” she forced the words out before she could get tongue tied. “Here is the last of my rent.” And she marched forward with her hand outstretched.
Susannah’s surprise showed clearly. “Oh.” Slowly she accepted the wadded up bill and the coins. Rowena watched the woman look up at her. “I didn’t expect you to be leaving so soon. It’s only been a few weeks, surely. What are your plans? Where are you going?”
Her cheeks flamed at the questions, and she couldn’t meet the woman’s gaze. Not Mrs. Jessup, who had been so kind as to take her in and teach her these skills. Why, she even had another dress now besides the one she had arrived in. “Further west, I suppose. I’ll just keep moving. But I, well, I don’t have the money to stay with you. I can burden you no longer.”
It had sounded eloquent to her, but Susannah merely squinted. “You’re out of money, dear?”
She almost wished she was back at the gambling house. “I’m afraid so, ma’am.” Clasping her hands together tightly, Rowena tried to hide the humiliation. “It’s been lovely, but I won’t be in your way any longer.” There was a moment of silence as Susannah stood and looked up at her, but Rowena couldn’t take it any longer. “Good night,” she stammered, and left.
She went to her room and looked around. It was tidy, but it had become her home so quickly. This was the nicest place she had ever been in, and she loved every inch inside and every breath of fresh air outside. Rowena stood by her window. Where would she go now? What would she do?
Most likely back on the streets, she realized, and climbed into her bed. How was she going to handle that? With a load of questions and worries on her mind, Rowena tried to sleep but tossed and turned the night away.
Chapter Nine
The following morning, after a restless sleep, Rowena pulled herself out of bed and dressed. Slowly and carefully she packed her things into her bag, and tidied the room. Everything was set back the way it had been on the day she’d arrived, and only once she was satisfied did she leave the room. She closed the door slowly, and took a deep breath.
After gathering her resolve, she headed down the stairs. It was time she was on her way. Rowena glanced around as she reached the ground floor and found Susannah bustling about the kitchen, her hair pulled back and her apron around her waist. She was marching back and forth, taking the cooking utensils over to the sink. Only on her third round did she notice Rowena at the stairs.
“Well! It’s about time you were waking up,” she brightened and shifted everything in her arms to wave Rowena forward. “Come in, get yourself some breakfast. I made us hot cakes.”
Reluctantly she stepped forward, grabbing her bag with both hands. Wavering on the line of whether or not she should be eating there, Rowena glanced towards the front door. She couldn’t intrude here if she were no longer a paying customer, after all. No matter what was said, that relationship of buyer and seller came first. Integrity was still important. She took a deep breath and prepared to talk, but Mrs. Jessup beat her to it.
“You packed already? Nonsense. Now put that down, Rowena. Come sit down and let’s enjoy us something delicious to break our fast. Besides, I have something to speak to you about.”
For some reason, that set the hair on her neck on end. But she didn’t know what else to do so she gently set her bag down and rubbing her tingling arm, Rowena took a seat. Susannah sat across from her, still smiling as though it were nothing serious.
Neither of them talked as they carefully dished out hot cakes and bacon onto their plates, Rowena slow and particular and Susannah quick and efficient as ever. Mrs. Jessup offered grace, and then had a few bites before noticing her young boarder was only staring at her food, unable to touch it. Taking a quick sip of her tea, Susannah set her utensils down.
“You don’t need to leave, you know,” she told her kindly. “You’re more than welcome to stay here. Why, with your help in the garden, we could easily expand it and start selling more at the market. It’s not as if we’re struggling, of course, but that’s none of your concern. But as long as you don’t have a plan, you might as well stay with us. That’s what we’re here for, after all.”
Shaking her head, Rowena stared at the food. “I won’t take your charity, but thank you. I should be going soon.”
“But I mean it,” Mrs. Jessup shook her head. “My advert said it. I want to help young women find a better future.” Waving her hands in the air, she attempted to explain. “That’s why I opened the boarding house, it’s for young women who are coming through, passing by. You know, to come west and meet their men and settle into their new lives.”
She was patting Rowena’s hand when her words sunk in. What was that second part? She furrowed her brow and looked at Susannah who was talking about hope and cheer. “What did you mean, meeting men?”
Mrs. Jessup looked at her through wide eyes and with an open mouth. “Well, you know, of course. I mean, I thought I put it plainly. Well, without saying everything, granted, but the point was made that… About mail order brides. It’s not easy, after all, arriving out here from the city to find yourself in a new strange place without friends, and not even knowing what you’re supposed to be able to do.”
As she spoke, trying to explain herself, the truth came out, though a bit jumbled and somewhat evasive. It made more sense, explaining some of their conversation they’d had in the past. Susannah had attempted to address a few things, like the hands
ome men at church, and someday having children. But Rowena had brushed everything off, since Susannah married and had made the mention of having no children. Now, her pulse quickened as she considered what the woman was telling her.
This was a boarding house for single woman. A place for them to stay while they waited to find a man and get married. Not just to offer room and board, but to be sent off into marriage.
Inhaling sharply, Rowena stood up quickly, away from the table. “You never said such a thing!” She interrupted the woman in dismay, shaking her head. “How could you be so dishonest?”
Such words paled Susannah Jessup. Rowena was crestfallen, wondering why everyone needed to be so devious and secretive about their true motives. Wrapping her arms around herself, she wondered if that was just the way the world operated.
“I’m sorry,” Susannah called for her as the younger woman was grabbing her bag. “Please, stop. Rowena, I apologize. I didn’t mean to… I just assumed you understood what I was trying to do. Well, I supposed you just wanted to be quiet about making a match, or perhaps you had decided to think of finding a mate when you felt more stable. I wasn’t sure, but I didn’t want to intrude. So I waited.”
Rowena looked at her with continued distrust. She was still angry and not interested in giving it up just yet.
“Please, allow me to fix this. Will you?” Susannah took a step toward her and smiled weakly.
With a groan, Rowena stared at her boots. Shoulders slouched, she clutched her bag and shrugged. A hopelessness settled over her shoulders, and she didn’t know what to do. “Fix what?”