by Wendy Cole
I slid to a stop, heaved lungful after lungful of burning air, and the chill my racing had kept at bay took its chance to settle across my skin.
I rubbed my arms and looked around. The trees seemed denser in the night. They formed a canopy above my head and blocked out the sky.
I was lost.
I trudged forward, my face turned upwards. But when the trees finally broke apart, clouds took their place. There were no stars to guide me; just silvery black, and the occasional peek at the moon.
I wrapped my arms around myself and took a long look around.
“Fuck.”
A shiver echoed down my spine, and the moment it started, it wouldn’t stop. I pivoted on my heel and rushed to retrace my steps. If I could just go the way I’d come, I could make it back to camp. My ears stayed primed for the sound of the stream, but all I heard were rustling leaves and the hoots of a distant owl.
The further I went, the more lost I felt. Endless trees. Empty sky. Unfamiliar.
I wasn’t built for this.
I didn’t have survival skills when it came to the wilderness. All the street smarts I’d acquired meant nothing out here. I walked for hours at a steady pace, thankful that it at least kept me warm, but my legs objected the task. They grew heavier with each step until the pain through my thighs was too much. I dropped down beside a tree and pulled my knees into my chest.
I was so fucked. As if in answer, the cold hugged tighter. It sunk down to my bones.
I grabbed whatever I could: leaves, moss, dirt. Anything and everything within reach, I piled onto myself, but it barely helped.
I let my head fall back against the tree. Of all the ways I’d thought I’d die, freezing to death on a mountain wasn’t one of them.
It could be worse, inner Jessie called, and I had to agree with her. This wasn’t so bad in comparison to what I thought would take me. There’d be no torture. Drake wouldn’t get the satisfaction, and this place…I looked around, and my heart clenched again.
All my happy memories lived here.
I closed my eyes, huddled in tighter and allowed sleep to take me.
***
“Tequila!” Large arms jerked me up, and a set of hands ran up and down my arms. “Shit, she’s freezing!”
I opened my eyes to find a panicked Bard yanking his shirt off. He draped the flannel over my shoulders and pulled me close.
I sunk into him and sighed. He felt so much warmer than usual.
“I’ll build a fire here. Head back and let everyone know we found her.”
“Here,” Zeke said. I cut my eyes over to meet his concerned gaze, and he had his own flannel held out for Bard to take.
Bard jerked it from his hands without looking away from me, and Zeke hurried back through the trees.
“Hold on. I’ve got you.” Bard took off his other shirt, pulled the flannel and damp bikini away from me then wiggled the material of each article over my head. He pulled them tight and rubbed his hands over me in quick motions that jarred my whole body.
“Don’t worry.” His voice wavered, and his hands shook.
He sat me down and slid across the dirt and leaves. He gathered sticks as quick as they came in reach and threw them into a haphazard pile. Each motion he made was jerked and rushed. He fumbled in his jean pocket and pulled out the special rocks. “Just another minute, Jessie. I got you.”
He hit them together, cursing each spark that didn’t catch, until a flame finally burst to life. The orange illuminated the deep lines of his face as he blew against the flame and cupped it from the wind. It crackled to life, and he scrambled back over to where I sat and dragged me closer.
“Get warm.” It was a command as if he could demand my temperature to rise, and my body would comply. Judging by the sound of his voice, I almost believed it would.
He pulled me into his lap and held me close, his hands still rubbing and his chest still heaving with adrenaline-fueled breaths.
I could practically feel his heat seep into me. It slowly chased away the cold, and between him, the fire, and time, my teeth stopped chattering. My muscles relaxed. I burrowed deeper into the flannel, curled up like a cat, and pushed closer to him.
The shivering stopped after a long while, and Bard seemed to calm. He continued to hold me, his body stiff and muscles tensed.
We sat like that for what felt like an eternity before his hand hooked beneath my chin and tilted my face up. “What happened?”
His face was a mask of lines, and his eyes seemed heavy with exhaustion. He’d saved me. Again.
All of Amber’s words rushed to the forefront of my mind, and the pain in my chest returned even stronger than before. “I just needed to be alone.”
He scoffed, eyebrows lifted, mouth opened in disbelief. “You can’t just…”
His mouth clamped shut and his jaw clenched. He pulled me up by the arms and forced my eyes to level with his. Those eyes cut. It was even deeper with my soul so fucking exposed.
“What if I hadn’t found you?” It was a rumble more than a question. His grip tightened. His eyes were like razors. He held me still as if I’d float away if he didn’t. “God, Tequila. What the fuck were you thinking? You could have died!”
But you saved me.
A flicker of my own anger burst to life, and I stoked it like he had the flames at my back. “This is what you like isn’t it, Bard?” I clutched his neck and leaned closer. “You got to save me. Now you can nurse me back to health. My fucking hero.”
I spat the words. They tasted vile and made my chest ache with a new intensity.
His brow furrowed as I spoke, and a look of total confusion crossed his face. “What the hell are you talking about?”
I jerked away from him and immediately regretted it. The moment his warmth left my skin, the chill crept back to fill its place. I scooted closer to the fire. “I had a talk with Amber. She said it’s no wonder you like me. Even when you were a little boy, you’d save all the sick and injured things.”
Bard’s eyes cut. “You think that’s how I see you?” He snorted. “Tequila, you’re a lot of things, but broken isn’t one of them.”
“You said you wanted to keep me. Is that what I am to you? Just some broken bird you found at the bar? There was nothing about me even remotely appealing, so what other reason could you have had? I was a mess, barely fit for indoors…”
He moved closer, slow, as if he really were approaching a wounded animal.
“Jesus, Tequila.” His eyes softened. He picked a leaf out of my hair and dropped it to the ground beside us.
I swallowed hard. The way he was looking at me, it was the same look he always got. It warmed me more than any fire could have despite how much I fought against it. My heart thawed as if it’d been encased in ice, and I couldn’t cope.
He cupped my cheek.
I shook my head.
“Don’t.” He held me hostage in that piercing gaze. “Don’t push me away now. After everything, I don’t think I’d survive it.”
I opened my mouth, but he didn’t give me a chance to speak.
“There’s a flaw in your theory, Tequila. You didn’t need saving. You were doing that just fine on your own.” He leaned closer, his eyes sharp as if he was trying to drill it into my head. “You saved me.”
I swallowed hard against the lump in my throat.
“Just look at me. Look. Can’t you see it?” His other hand lifted to cup the opposite side of my face, and he held me there, eyes locked with so many emotions swimming in his. “I love you, Jessie. I love you so fucking much, it eats me alive. You’re all I think about. When I wake up, when I go to sleep, when I dream, it’s always you.”
My heart thundered within my chest, beat away at my ribs, fighting to break free. It wanted him even if I was telling it no. “But she said…”
“I don’t care what she said. She’s not what matters.” He hoisted me up against his chest and released a heavy sigh. “You scared the fuck out of me. When we couldn’
t find you, I thought…”
His voice broke.
I broke apart, ripped at the seams. The doubts still circling my mind didn’t matter anymore when he clung to me, needed me. I ran my hands down his back and pulled him closer.
“I don’t want to be someone for you to pity.” Even as I said it, I sounded pitiful. My jaw clenched.
Bard huffed in disbelief. “You’re the strongest woman I’ve ever met. What on earth could ever make you think that I would pity you?” He pulled back and stared down at me, his eyes lighter. “You make me feel a lot of things, but not pity, never pity.” His Adam’s apple bobbed. “I admire you more than anyone I’ve ever met, so please, stop torturing me. I promise you, the only person who’s going to be broken is me if I lose you.”
CHAPTER FIFTY-FIVE
I stared into his eyes, and the expression heart on your sleeve never made sense until that moment. Mine finally beat its way out of my body. It floated, exposed and suspended in the space between us, and when his lips met mine, Bard grabbed it. It was his, and for once in my life, I didn’t fight to protect it because I knew he would.
I rested my elbows over his shoulders, placed my hands on the top of his head, and kissed him back deeper than I’d ever kissed another man. It was desperate. “I feel it, too.”
He hummed. “If you say it, I swear I’ll make it worth the effort.”
My lips curved against his. There was no denying him even if what Amber said was true. What had I thought would happen? That I would walk away from this and never see him again? Never have this again? Just the thought of it made desperation pool inside my chest.
He could save me all he wanted.
I’d be a broken bird if it meant he’d make me fly.
His eyes met mine, open and deep.
“I swore I’d never love again.”
He swallowed hard.
“But now I know,” I curled my fingers into his hair, “I’ve never loved before, Bard, not like this.”
A groan vibrated his chest. He pulled me closer, and his lips hit mine in a kiss that was anything but patient. There was no tenderness. It was urgent and demanding. He took all I had faster than I could let it go. I opened myself up to him, gave in, leaned into each rough caress and accepted every branding touch.
He broke away, but not to stop. His mouth took my jaw, my neck, and my collar bone. His teeth grazed, and his breaths were harsh. The cold ran away from the heat of his touch, and I was suddenly far too hot.
I clung to him. “I love you.”
His hand ran up my back under the flannels and his shirt and up to my neck then back down again. I arched into him as I gripped his biceps.
“You’re like a drug,” he murmured, his voice rough. “Every time I take you, life is worth living.” He pulled me into him and ground himself against me. “When you disappeared, I was so fucking desperate. I thought I wouldn’t find you. I thought…”
I pulled his face to mine and used my lips to silence him. “I know. I’m sorry.”
I locked my mouth with his at a slow and languid pace and reached down to fumble with the button on his jeans.
Bard cupped my head and kissed me back, equally as slow, but the moment he was free, he gripped my thighs, lifted me up, and buried himself inside me.
I gasped. He didn’t worship. He didn’t heal. He took. He took it all as if he could keep it with him if he did.
I held on tight and let him move me, unable to do anything else with my brain so consumed in the feel of him. My lungs constricted. My heart skipped and spluttered. Each breath felt too hot, and a burst of the same heat ricocheted up to my ears and down to my belly. It tightened my core and stole my senses. He wrapped me up in his essence alone, and I was lost all over again.
Bard grunted, gripped my thigh with one hand, and circled my back with the other. He held me like a vice. He quickened his pace with jarring, desperate movements.
I clung to his shoulders, and deep soulful sounds broke the silence around us. It took a moment to realize it was me who was making them, and I bit my lip to stop myself.
Bard kissed me, pulled my lip from between my teeth then met my eyes. “No, Jessie. No more holding back.”
I moaned again, and the sound seemed to urge him on.
Those sharp eyes trailed my face, cut through each expression, each moment of pleasure, and he read me. He read me like a book and used it all to his advantage. I was putty in his hands, and he molded me so thoroughly, I lost the ability to form words. I tried to say his name, to tell him again, to express how I felt, but it all came out as sighs and groans and harsh breaths.
Then, I fell over the edge of the cliff and down to the rocks below. I crashed with an intensity that shook me to my bones, and Bard was there.
He buried his face into the crook of my neck and clung on tight as his own body went rigid. Minutes passed by, and his grip didn’t loosen. I trailed my fingers across his back, basked in the afterglow, and wondered how on earth I, of all people, had ever gotten so lucky.
“I thought I lost you,” he finally said, his voice thick.
“I’m okay.”
He pulled back to meet my gaze, and those eyes cut into me. “It was pure luck that I found you.” His tone was sharp. “Don’t do that to me again, Jessie. It was almost impossible to track you in the dark.”
I nodded and focused my attention on his shoulder. My throat grew dry, and a burst of guilt burned my eyes. “I didn’t realize how far I’d gone until I didn’t know where I was.”
Bard studied me for a long moment as he caressed my cheek. “It’s over now.” He stood and pulled me to my feet. “We should head back and get you some better clothes.”
I watched him refasten his jeans and set about putting out the fire. He’d given me his shirt, and his bare upper half caused a new wave of guilt to gnaw at my gut. “Here, take one of the flannels. I don’t need them both.”
He closed the gap between us, but instead of taking the offering, he stooped down and swept me into his arms. “I’ll be okay.” He trudged forward, ducked beneath branches, avoiding all the slaps and scratches I myself had ran right into.
“You don’t have to carry me. I feel better…”
“I’m carrying you into camp, Jessie. I’ll make it perfectly clear to every single person there how I feel about you. That way, the next time someone tells you a story, you won’t let it make you run off and almost get yourself killed.” His tone had a slight edge to it, not quite an admonishment but close enough to make me stop arguing.
He kept a steady pace, seeming unbothered by the added weight.
When the light from camp peeked through the trees, my nerves jumped to attention.
Heat flooded my face, neck, and ears. “What do you plan to do, exactly?”
Bard’s lip twitched. He broke through the foliage, trudged through the clearing, then stood beside the hot spring while still holding me. The moment we came into view, I was overrun by concerned eyes.
“Is she alright?” Charlene asked, already moving closer with a hand out.
Bard looked down at me. “She’s fine.” His gaze ran over my face, as if fact-checking his own statement. “I love you, Jessie.” He turned, lifted me up like a sacrificial lamb, and shook me in the air. “If y’all ain’t figured it out yet,” his voice bellowed out, “I caught one!”
Zeke exploded in laughter, and the sound of it cut the tension in half. The others joined in, and that stupid heat filled my face to the point I thought I’d combust.
I turned away and smacked his chest. “Put me down.”
Bard took in my flushed expression and smiled. “Why? Are you embarrassed?”
“No.”
“You’re blushing.”
“I don’t blush. Put me down!”
“I’ll put you down when I’ve got clothes to put on you.”
“I can dress myself.”
He hoisted me tighter into his chest and headed for one of the tents, his smile broad and una
shamed. “But that would be so much less fun, and I’m a very stressed man tonight.” He looked down at me and grinned. “You wouldn’t deny me comfort now, would you?”
My face heated more.
He rumbled a laugh.
Bard dipped down inside the tent, laid me across the floor of sleeping bags and blankets, then turned back and zipped it closed.
“There’s no clothes in here,” I said.
My heart beat harder, and a familiar warmth spread through my belly as he leaned over top of me.
He pushed the flannels away from my shoulder then kissed the skin he’d exposed. “Lay with me.”
He stretched out at my side, pulled me close, and draped one of the many blankets over the two of us.
I pressed my cheek against him and relaxed.
His chest expanded and his arm tightened. He rested his chin on top of my head and trailed his fingers through my hair. “When I was a boy, my father used to always look at my mother a certain way, even when she was sick.” His voice was low and smooth. “He used to always tell me about how he knew, from the first time he met her, that she was just right.” He paused, pulled at the strands, and ran them between his fingers. “You’re just right for me, Jessie. I knew it, even at the bar. You say you weren’t appealing, but you’re wrong. I watched tons of people walk in and out of that place every night, but not one of them drew my attention like you did.”
My heart melted. “Bard?”
“Yeah?” He pulled back and looked down at me.
“If you get any sweeter, I’m going to go into a diabetic coma.”
He rumbled a laugh and pulled me back into him. “Fine. Get some sleep. We’ll head back down in the morning. I’ve had enough of this mountain for right now.”
I burrowed closer and held him tight. “Good night, Bard.”
His tone softened. “Good night.”
CHAPTER FIFTY-SIX
The next morning came too soon, and I was forced to break away from the most comfortable sleep I’d ever had. Everyone packed up, and we headed down the mountain at a crawling pace, thanks to more than a few hangovers.