“Oh, you’re going to wish you never did that,” Lynne replied, using Rex as a counterweight to lean against as she kicked up with her body and caught Pearl across the face with her right boot.
Pearl hit the ground as Lynne’s feet made contact with the floor. The back of her hair was grabbed as her arm was jerked up behind her back, and she was pushed forward over the pool table with Rex putting all of his weight on her.
“I suggest you let me go before you get hurt,” Lynne wheezed as Rex pushed her chest harder into the pool table.
“Oh, really? Are you going to teach me a lesson like you did Pearl?” Rex asked as he laughed.
“No, I am,” JJ said as Rex turned to face him, and JJ’s fist collided with his nose.
Blood spurted everywhere as Rex released his hold on Lynne, and she scrambled away over to JJ’s outstretched hand.
“Are you ok?” JJ asked as he stared Rex down who was now pinching his gushing nose and glaring at JJ.
“Yea, I am fine,” Lynne replied.
“I’ll catch up with you, you little bitch,” Rex hissed as he walked off to the men’s room to clean his nose.
“Well, I think our welcome just wore out,” JJ replied as he turned around to examine Lynne.
“Yea,” Lynne mumbled as she stared JJ in the eyes. “We should go.”
“Are you sure you are ok?” JJ asked as he furrowed his brow.
Lynne swallowed and shook her head, clearing her throat. “Yea, sorry. Let’s go,” Lynne said as she made her way to the door.
“Wait!” Sue called out as she carried a bag over to them. “I made y’all some meals to go.”
JJ took the bag and kissed Sue on the cheek. “Thank you.”
“Don’t be a stranger, now,” Sue said, winking as JJ smiled and walked through the exit door.
It was near sundown when they climbed into the car. JJ turned the ignition switch over, and the car roared to life, but not before Pearl could make it outside and start dragging a steak knife down the side of the car.
“You, crazy bitch,” JJ yelled as he jumped from the car.
Before he could make it over there, Lynne stood from the floorboard, leaned out of her window, and grabbed Pearl by the hair of her head then proceeded to bash her face into the side of the car. She let go of her hair and dropped back down into her seat as JJ glanced between her and a crumpled Pearl from the front of the car.
“Are you just going to stand there and look pretty, or are we going to get the fuck out of here before I have to shoot someone?” Lynne seethed.
JJ turned on his heel and walked back to his side of the car and hopped back into the driver seat. He yanked the gear shift into reverse and backed out of his spot before jamming it into first gear and squealing out of the parking lot. JJ kept an eye on his rearview mirror as he occasionally glanced over at Lynne.
“Mind telling me what the fuck happened back there?” JJ asked. “One second, I am having a conversation with Daisy with you sitting next to me, and then out of nowhere, you jump up and run over to play pool with some guy.”
“I was just on my way to the restroom when he stopped me,” Lynne replied quietly. “Besides, you were balls deep in Daisy before I even stood up from the bar.”
JJ laughed. “Balls deep in Daisy?” he reiterated. “Is that what this was all about? You being jealous over another chick all over me?” he asked.
Lynne glared over at him. “I do not get jealous. And I have no reason to be jealous.”
“Hell, I was jealous,” JJ replied.
“Why were you jealous?” Lynne jeered. “Afraid Rex was going to get a piece, and you weren’t?” JJ laughed harder. “What is so funny?” Lynne sneered.
“I wasn’t jealous over that cock sucker,” JJ laughed.
“Then why on earth would you be jealous?” Lynne asked, exasperated.
“Because Daisy was into you,” JJ replied.
Silence filled the car. Lynne sat processing.
“You mean…” Lynne began.
“Yup, Daisy bats for the same team,” JJ laughed.
Lynne’s face grew ten shades redder, and her hand covered her face in embarrassment. “Shut up! You lie!” she yelled.
“She leaned across me and was basically bouncing her titties in your face, and you think she had the hots for me?” JJ asked with a chuckle. “You need to get out of the holler more.”
“Do you mind if we stay here tonight?” Lynne asked. “I am too exhausted to ride three states over for a hotel room.”
“Yeah, I was thinking the same thing,” JJ replied as he swung the car into the parking lot of a rundown motel.
JJ shut the car off and jogged inside to reserve two rooms while Lynne sat quietly in the car. Everything tumbled around in her head. JJ, the holler, their past, the present, it all swirled around, and she sat staring off into space. She was jolted from her thoughts when JJ spoke.
“Hey?” he asked, looking down at her through her window.
“Hmm?”
“Are you okay? You seem dazed. Did you hit your head at the bar?” he asked as he took her face gently in his hand and looked into her eyes.
She just stared back as she had at the bar. She felt herself melting into his touch. It had taken her years to build up the wall that she had sheltering her heart. The wall she built to keep him out after he had left her that night.
“You don’t seem to have a concussion,” JJ said, snapping her back out of her thoughts.
“Hmm?”
“Are you sure you are okay?” he asked as concern flooded his eyes.
“I am fine,” she replied softly.
She opened her car door as JJ stepped out of the way and climbed from the cab of the car. She shut the door and leaned against it with her eyes trained on the ground. JJ stepped closer to her lifting her head so he could see into her eyes again. She couldn’t contain herself. Her hands trailed up his chest and wrapped around the nape of his neck and in his hair. She pulled him into her as her mouth hesitated for a moment before planting itself like rosebuds across his lips.
They began walking with JJ leading the way, looking up every so often to find their room numbers. He pushed her up against his door, and her arms went around his neck tightly. He slid the key into the lock with one hand and twisted it while the other trailed her face. The door popped open, and he picked her up by her hips as she wrapped her legs around him and walked through the threshold. He kicked the door shut with one of his boots and then laid her down on the bed. He climbed on top of her as their tongues danced with one another madly. She pulled his shirt off, tossed it off the side of the bed, and dragged her nails down his bare skin. He pulled her shirt up and over her head from her back and tossed it aside as well. His hands roamed up and down her sides as they both melded with one another.
Lynne rolled JJ over onto his back and sat up on his lap, staring down at him breathing heavily. He stared up at her, breathing equally as hard as she. He sat up and grabbed her by her hips and ran one of his hands up her spine as he layered her chest and neck in kisses while she nipped at his neck and ear. His hands found the snaps of her bra, and one by one, he unhooked the hooks until they popped free. He slid it down her arms and tossed it over onto the chair as his hands found her breasts along with his mouth. He could feel her heat radiating into his lap, and he dug his nails into her shoulder blades as she lightly ground against his groin.
He stood from the bed with her at his hips and flipped her back onto her back. He began to undo her jeans when she stopped his hands and put them back on her exposed body. He ran his mouth from her neck to her breasts, where he nibbled on her nipples and trailed his mouth to her stomach. Once again, his hands were at her jeans, and this time, he grabbed them by the waist and began to yank them off. She stopped him once more, which made him exceedingly frustrated.
“Don’t you want me?” he asked through breaths.
JJ had become so lost in the moment he hadn’t even realized that she had started to
sob silently.
“Hey, hey, hey,” he cooed as he wiped her tears away. “What’s wrong, baby?” he asked.
“Nothing,” she heaved out in breaths as she sat up. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t…” she started as she snatched her shirt from beside the bed. “I need to go to my room.”
“Ok,” JJ replied softly as she yanked her shirt over her head.
JJ fished the other room key from his pants pocket and held it out for her. She snatched it from his hand and ran from his room before he had a chance to say anything else. JJ eased himself down on the bed and ran his hand through his hair, unable to think of what he had done wrong. He sighed as he fell back on his pillow and stared up at the ceiling until he dozed off to sleep.
The sun peeked through a hole in one of the ratty curtains stirring JJ from his sleep. He checked the time on his phone and realized it was only a few hours into the morning. He sat up in bed and rubbed his face in his hands. He got up, took a shower, got dressed, and left his room, stopping to knock on Lynne’s door. The room door was ajar, and he pushed it open, finding a maid inside.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to disturb you while you were doing your job,” he said, apologizing. “Do you know where the woman is that was in this room?”
“She checked out a few hours ago,” the maid replied. She walked over and handed JJ a folded-up piece of paper. “I take it, you’re JJ?” she asked.
JJ looked down at the folded paper, and it had his name written on it.
“Yea… that’s me,” he mumbled. “Thank you,” he said as he left her room and went back to his.
He closed the door behind him and sat down on the edge of the bed as he unfolded the piece of paper.
JJ,
Here I find myself writing you yet another heartbreaking letter just like the one I wrote to you when we were teenagers running around the holler like Bonnie and Clyde. First of all, I want you to know that you did nothing wrong. This has nothing to do with you or your personality, a slight of your character, or anything. This has everything to do with me. I’m in love with you and always have been. Since the first time I saw your goofy face pop up with your daddy spending those summers in the holler, you have had my heart. It will always belong to you whether we are together or not. You need to know that. No man will ever take your place or fill your shoes because no man will ever be the man you are.
I told you all those years ago that I didn’t need a man to take care of me that I could handle myself on my own. And I have done just that. I don’t need a man to handle my business or take care of me. I hold my own. But you’re not here for that and never were. You were here to show me a side of love I had only ever seen when my daddy stared at my mama as she cooked his favorite dinner in the kitchen. We have a love that’s unlike any other, but we can never be together. Our worlds are too far apart. You’re a Romeo, and I am a Juliet in a war of mafia guns and drugs. You’re on your way out while I am on my way to the top. You deserve to live the life you always wanted and always dreamed of living.
Go back to California or move to Nevada. Don’t come back to the holler. This ain’t your life anymore, whether it is your blood or not. I can’t see you again. I can’t be near you again. I don’t trust myself when I am with you, and you deserve so much more out of a woman than I can offer. I will always love you even when I can no longer remember your face.
Forever yours,
Lynne
JJ sat there on the bed, just reading the words over and over.
Chapter Thirteen
Lynne stepped out of the Uber ride in front of her bar. She tipped the driver in cash and watched as he drove off. It had only been maybe five hours since she had ditched JJ in that ratty motel in Oklahoma, and it didn’t make her feel any better or less icky than what she did. It was the second time she had left him a letter telling him that she didn’t want to be with him. And the thing was, she really wanted to be with him. She loved him more than words could ever express. They say that you never get over your first love, but to Lynne, JJ would always be her only love.
Sure, she has been with men since her time with JJ as wild teenagers running around the holler. However, she had yet to find a man that lit her soul on fire the way JJ had. Often times, she found herself lying in bed unable to fall asleep and mind trailing off to those nights she spent with JJ wrapped up in his arms in the back of her pickup. Even though they had never told each other they were an item or others for that matter, everyone seemed to mutually understand that he belonged to her, and she belonged to him.
The way he had kissed her last night was the same way he had always kissed her. She could still taste him on her lips. She could still feel him tracing his fingers along her body. It was a moment that could last her a lifetime in satisfaction. However, it couldn’t quieten the growing scream within her chest. It wasn’t a scream of discontent or even of hate or sadness. It was a scream that she couldn’t hold back for much longer if she spent another part of her lifetime with him. She would do what she had always sworn she would avoid doing. She would impart her heart to him and that was a dangerous territory to embark upon.
Lynne walked into the bar and switched the closed sign to open and bustled over behind the counter. She could already smell the enticing scents of food wafting from the built-in kitchen as her chef prepared some main course dishes that were popular among patrons. She could eat a horse, but right now, she just wanted to drink. Lynne reached for her bottle of special reserve whiskey that she kept hidden on the bottom shelf and poured her a double shot. She downed the shot and poured herself another one.
No matter how many shots she went through, she knew she wouldn’t be able to drink him away this time. She had gone over the edge when he left seven years ago. She started doing drugs, drinking, and getting into too much trouble with the local police, and still, through all of the blackouts and trips, she still couldn’t get him off of her mind.
At one point, she, too, had left the holler. She went off to one of those big cities in California looking for JJ, which she found but never made her presence known. She was addicted to so many different drugs; he would have been disgusted with her. So, she just stayed high all of the time to try and keep him off her mind. She went to sex clubs and tried to numb her feelings with strangers she met there. After being addicted for so long to so many different things, she soon learned that love was an addiction too. She had tried to lose touch with reality without even realizing that JJ had touched levels of her subconscious that she could never erase him from. He had her fucked up more than drugs ever did.
The entire time she was in California, she took more guys home to try and numb her pain over JJ than she could count on her fingers and toes. It wasn’t a particular type of man either. She took home addicts, guys from the sex club, and even picked up men at the park playing with their kids.
She lost an insane amount of weight and looked like what she was, a crack whore. The very last drug she tried to get JJ off her mind with. She’d eat, throw up from eating, and then crawl into the very bathtub she threw up in and fall asleep with the shakes.
She would look at herself in the mirror and count the bones that stuck out and protruded all over her body. She was a walking skeleton. She no longer looked like herself, either. She was essentially unrecognizable to anyone that would have searched for her from the holler, which her daddy did quite often.
Charlie was there every single month for a few days begging her to come home. He would take her to get some food. He would give her some money that even though he knew she would blow it on drugs, he also knew he had given her something to live on. It was during one of his visits that this time he stocked her fridge with some healthy food and replenished her toiletries and bought what she needed for the apartment. As he filled her cabinets, she sat at her table smoking a Marlboro, chewing on her nail, half dressed and unbathed for at least four days.
“Why don’t you go get cleaned up in the shower, sweetheart, and I will make us some dinner,”
Charlie offered as he finished putting the groceries away. “I’ll even do the dishes for you.”
“I’m not hungry,” she mumbled angrily as she scratched wildly at her neck and face.
“Well, then go get cleaned up, sweetheart,” he replied. “A shower will get you feeling better.”
Charlie watched as she rubbed her arms and fidgeted in her seat. She hadn’t had a fix in twenty-four hours. This was how it started. She would then beg for him to go and get her something. She didn’t care what either.
“Daddy, I just need to take the edge off one last time,” she pleaded with tears brimming in her eyes. “It will be my last. I promise. And I will leave here and go back with you. I will get off it. I promise. I just need it one last time. One bump. Or, or just a pill to crush. My skin is crawling. It feels like there is fire under my skin burning me up from the inside out. Even if you cooked, I wouldn’t be able to eat it right now coming down. I would just heave it up. Want me to eat? Get me something, please!”
A tear slipped down Charlie’s face. “Lynnelle, I can’t do this anymore for you. I can’t keep helping you kill yourself, baby girl.”
“You aren’t responsible for it!” Lynne yelled. “What I do with the money you give me or the drugs you give me is my choice! I am no different than any other junkie you would be giving a hit to!”
“Yes, you are! You’re my daughter, and you should have never even been exposed to this side of tracks and that is my fault as well,” Charlie cried. “Your mama would be so disappointed in both of us.”
“Don’t you bring my mama up!” Lynne cried.
Lynne jumped from her seat and bolted from the apartment with Charlie on her heels. She hit the streets barefoot and ran for the alley with Charlie calling after her. He was in too bad of shape to keep up with her running these streets. Lynne ran and crisscrossed through all of the alleys until she bumped into someone hard unexpectedly and hit the ground with a thud scraping her elbow and knee up. She held her elbow up examining it under the lights of the back alley.
Them Holler Boys (A Southern Outlaw Series Book 1) Page 17