First and Always: The Forever Duet

by Brooke, Rebecca

“You okay, babe?”

  It was as if she hadn’t even heard me enter the room. Her eyes wandered up to my face.

  “I think so.” There wasn’t much confidence in her voice.

  “You think so?”

  She glanced down at her lap, then back up at me again. “I know so.”

  “Then what are you doing sitting on the floor?” I moved farther into the bathroom, leaning my hip on the counter.

  “I was waiting.”

  I narrowed my eyes. “Waiting?” Nothing she said made sense. “Waiting for what? I thought you were at work.”

  She shrugged, still staring at whatever sat in her lap. “I left early.”

  “Babe, you’re not making a bit of sense.”

  She didn’t say a word, only patted the tile on the floor next to her. Fuck, marriage did crazy things, if I was about to go sit on the cold ass tile floor when there were a million more comfortable places to sit in the house.

  Only love could make you do that. I leaned against the wall and slid down next to Christine. “Now, can you start explaining what you’re talking about ’cause I’m feeling pretty lost right now.”

  She opened her mouth the talk, but then promptly closed it. I wanted to groan, frustration pouring through me, but I bit my tongue instead and sat there quietly. Whatever she had to say, she’d tell me when she was ready.

  Eventually, she held something out to me. I lifted my hand and let her set whatever it was in mine. The moment the plastic touched my palm, I knew exactly why she’d left work early. My head snapped to hers. “What…”

  The words died in my throat. I swallowed hard and she nodded to my closed fist. “Look at it.”

  I uncurled my fingers, the light white and blue plastic stick taunting me. Lifting it into the air, I looked at the little digital screen on the end.

  Pregnant.

  I glanced back at her. My words still failing me. A blindingly bright smile graced her face. “We get another chance to get it right.”

  I pushed back the sliver of fear that tried to ruin the moment. No need to think about miscarriages and bouts of depression when we had something to celebrate. Why worry about all the things that could go wrong when there were so many things could go right?

  The small little stick clattered to the floor as I reached for her face, pulling her lips to mine. When I moved back slightly breathless, I started in on the questions. “How long have you known?”

  She lifted her phone from the ground. “About twenty minutes.”

  “Okay, smart-ass, you know that’s not what I meant.” I couldn’t stop the smirk that lifted my lips at her antics. “How long have you suspected you might be pregnant before you took the test?”

  She moved her back to the wall again and snuggled into my side, resting her head on my shoulder. “A few days, but I got so antsy at work to take the test, I left early and stopped at the drugstore on the way here.”

  Silence settled over us. The reality of what those words actually meant sinking into my brain for the first time since I sat down next to Christine.

  “We’re going to be parents.”

  “Yeah, we are.”

  Her excitement was infectious. I wrapped my arm around her shoulders, hugging her to me, trying to come up with the words I wanted to say. My heart soared at the thought of another chance at having a son or daughter running around the house.

  I never expected it to happen so quickly. With only a month of truly trying to get pregnant, after many months of letting things happen while we finished the tour, I couldn’t believe we were here again.

  We sat there for a little longer as I swallowed down my nerves. I didn’t want Christine to see the fear of what-if in my eyes. Thoughts of another miscarriage pushing to the front of my mind for the briefest of moments. No matter how many times she tried to reassure me that it was a fluke, that it was unlikely to happen again, I knew it was still a possibility, albeit a small one.

  Eventually, my ass grew cold from the tile floor. Reluctant to relinquish our connection, I forced myself to my feet and held a hand out to her.

  “I don’t think we need to sit on the floor anymore.”

  She laughed and placed her hand in mine. “No, I don’t think we do.”

  I yanked her up and into my arms. Rocking her back and forth, I held her tightly to me.

  “I love you so much,” I whispered against the top of her head.

  She nuzzled her face into my chest. “I love you, too.”

  “So what do we do now?”

  She leaned back and looked at me. “You mean besides celebrate?”

  “Yes, besides celebrate.”

  “I’ll make a doctor’s appointment in the morning.” She stepped back and took my hand, leading me out of the bedroom and down the stairs to the kitchen. “Do they still have you recording?”

  “Yes, but make the appointment for any day and time. I’ll just let them know we can’t be in the studio that day.”

  She sat down at the kitchen island, while I walked around to the fridge. I picked up a bottle of water. “Want one?”

  “Yes, please.”

  I handed her the bottle of water, then twisted the cap off my own.

  After taking a drink, she set the bottle back on the counter. “Do you think that’s a good idea considering you’re dealing with a new label?”

  I shrugged. “Maybe, but you know you always come first.”

  “And you know I love the sound of that, but with the little princess on the way we kind of need you to keep your job.”

  I lifted a brow at her. “Little princess? What if it’s a boy?”

  She shook her head. “It’s not.”

  “You only figured out less than thirty minutes ago that you were even pregnant. And now suddenly you can tell it’s a girl.”

  She giggled. “No, but the dream I had last night makes me think that it’s a girl.”

  I leaned on the counter. “What was your dream about?”

  “You and I were sitting in the lounge chairs at your mom’s house. And a little girl with long blond hair and gray eyes came running up to us. She was smiling and laughing. Not to mention, she looked exactly like you.”

  “A girl, huh?”

  “Yep. I’m almost positive.”

  “Well, I’m sure it’ll be a while before we can find out, so what do you want to do to celebrate tonight?”

  She sat quietly for a moment. “You know I don’t have a single idea on what we should.”

  “I’m guessing as long as it doesn’t require a drink, you’re good.”

  “You’ve got it.”

  I stood up and wandered around the counter to stand in front of her. Hooking my finger under her chin, I lifted her face to take her lips in a kiss. The moment her lips parted I slipped my tongue inside to tangle with hers. Heat burned its way along my nerves. I pulled back before I took her upstairs and forgot about going out.

  Her face and neck were flushed when I stepped back. I ran my thumb across her bottom lip, then forced myself to stop.

  “Go upstairs and get ready. I’m taking you out for the night to celebrate.”

  She brushed the hair out her face and moved off the stool. “Where are we going?” Her voice sounded raspy.

  “That’s a surprise.” I winked, knowing how much she loved surprises.

  Her whole face lit up and she darted for the stairs. “I’ll be down soon.”

  I dropped onto the stool next to me. I’ll be down soon was code word for give me about an hour and I’ll be ready to go. This time I didn’t mind. I grabbed the bottle of water, taking another long swing to cool my overheated body. I needed my dick to behave before we left for the night.

  As my body calmed, my brain decided to kick into overdrive.

  Christine is pregnant.

  I’m going to be a dad.

  While both of these things were wonderful and exciting, a little bit of the fear I felt when Christine told me she wanted to try for another baby rose to the surfa
ce.

  A weight settled in my chest, but I did my best to push it away. Christine and her doctor had said over and over again the likelihood of another miscarriage was slim to none. I reminded myself that this time was different. That she’d built good relationships with a few other therapists who connected her with a group of women who’d had what they called ‘Rainbow Babies’, a healthy child after a miscarriage.

  Over time they helped bring her back into the light. It had cut deeply to see her so broken, almost to the point that I pushed my own pain out of my head.

  And maybe that was what this was. Me facing the grief and fear that I hadn’t had time to deal with and take care of Christine at the same time. This time, I didn’t push it away. I recognized it for what it was, emotions I had to deal with before the baby arrived.

  I had nine months to work through it. I just had to remind myself every day…

  This time would be different.

  24

  My legs felt week as I followed Christine down the hall to her doctor’s office. With only the store-bought test to go on, we wanted the official test from the doctor. This wasn’t something either of us expected to happen as quickly as it did, but the excitement fluttering through my stomach made me feel like I could float on air.

  Christine held the doorknob. “Ready?”

  And that quickly déjà vu of our first appointment hit me in the face. Different doctor, different office. The outcome of this door opening had the chance to change everything. Christine was my forever and now we’d have our own little family on top of it. What could be better?

  “I am.”

  She pushed open the door. Women of all different ages sat around the room. A few teenagers sitting with their mothers. In far corner was a woman who looked more than ready to be done with pregnancy. She looked absolutely exhausted, but her husband or boyfriend held her hand tightly while they waited to be called. Christine walked up to the counter to check in while I took a seat across from an elderly woman waiting for her appointment.

  In that small waiting room, I felt like we were surrounded by all the stages we were about to embark on in our lives.

  “You look nervous.” Christine sat down next to me.

  I reached over and linked our fingers together. “A little, but mostly excited.”

  Her face brightened. “Me too.”

  She rested her head on my shoulder. The longer we sat there, the more eyes I could feel on me. I’d offered a private clinic, but Christine had refused. She’d found a doctor she absolutely loved when we moved out here and I couldn’t deny her that. Forget happy wife, happy life. This mommy could have whatever she wanted. She was carrying my son or daughter. I’d lay the damn world at her feet, but Christine was a simple woman. She had been from the moment I met her. It was never about the money or cost of something, to her it was about the thought put into whatever you did.

  Every moment had meaning to her.

  “Christine?”

  We stood up to head back with the nurse when I saw a teenage girl smiling out of the corner of my eye. I glanced over to see her hands held up in the shape of a heart. Christine saw it too and just shook her head laughing as she followed the nurse. I waved and smiled at her, then walked back, letting the nurse shut the door behind us.

  “Can you step up?” The nurse gestured with her pen to the scale that sat against the wall. “We like to have a starting weight on file. This way the doctor can monitor your weight gain throughout the pregnancy.”

  Without question Christine stepped up. The nurse jotted down the number and led us to an examination room. She took Christine’s blood pressure and temperature before asking a ton of questions, entering the answers onto the tablet she carried around with her.

  She handed Christine a blue gown and a large folded square of paper. “Put these on and Dr. Hays should be in soon.” She closed the door behind her, leaving Christine and me alone.

  Christine pulled the curtain in front of the door and began tugging her shirt over her head.

  “Mmmm…” I hummed in the back of my throat as her shirt landed on the chair. I walked forward, wrapping my arms around her waist. “God, you’re fucking sexy.”

  Christine giggled and rolled her eyes. “You need to keep your hands to yourself in here. I’m not having Dr. Hays walk in while you have your hands all over me. That’s gonna have to wait until we get home.”

  I sucked in a breath and took a step back. “So tempting you are.”

  She reached for the hem of her skirt. “And I’ll still be tempting when we get home.” Both her skirt and underwear fell to her feet.

  I reached down and adjusted my hardening dick. God, she was a gorgeous sight. I thought of our next show, music, sports, my friends, anything to keep my dick from misbehaving while Christine saw her doctor. She folded her skirt and added it to the pile her shirt and bra already sat on.

  I held up the gown so she could put her arms through it. She glanced down and laughed, putting her hands through the fabric.

  “I guess it’s easier if I have clothes on.”

  I sighed. “You have no idea.”

  She picked up the large sheet of paper and unfolded it.

  “What the actual fuck is that?”

  She held it up, fully opened for me to see. “A blanket.”

  “That is not a blanket. That is something you use to cover the floor when you paint.”

  The door opened as I finished the last part.

  “Probably.” Dr. Hays pushed the curtain to the side and stepped into the room. “But it’s so much more sanitary than one that’s touching lots and lots of skin.”

  She laughed along with Christine as I felt the back of my neck heat.

  “Hi, Dr. Hays.”

  “Christine, how are you?”

  “Good. Really good actually.”

  Dr. Hays turned to me. “I take it you’re the famous Aiden.”

  I bristled. The phrase rankled my nerves until I saw Christine’s smirk out of the corner of my eye. Then her whole sentence registered. She hadn’t said the famous Aiden Cormack of Violet Obsession. She said the famous Aiden as in Christine’s husband.

  I held out my hand to her. “That would be me.”

  She took my hand. “It’s good to finally meet you. Christine has told me a lot about you.”

  “Now I’m afraid.”

  Christine laughed. “You should be.”

  Dr. Hays turned back to Christine. “So, I see you’re here for a pregnancy test.”

  Christine’s face lit up. “We are.”

  Dr. Hays set her tablet on the table. “Well, we can draw blood and test it today. Let me grab a nurse to take it.” Dr. Hays went to the wall and pressed a button on the small panel there.

  “Yes?” A voice came over the intercom.

  “Can I get a blood draw in exam three?”

  “Sure, I’ll be right there,” the voice answered.

  Dr. Hays stepped away from the wall. “It shouldn’t take us long. While we wait, I want to complete your exam and give you some information. Have you taken an over the counter test yet?”

  “Three of them, actually.”

  I took Christine’s hand in mine. “She wanted to be sure.”

  “Well, the tests on the market are pretty accurate. We’ll do ours just for official verification. Let’s go through this list of questions.”

  Dr. Hays picked up her tablet and began reading off a list of question, which Christine answered. It felt more like a college admissions exam that a doctor’s office. The nurse came in the middle to draw blood and take another urine test, but Dr. Hays was almost positive that everything would come back saying that Christine was pregnant.

  “Okay, I think we got everything we need.” Dr. Hays entered a few more things onto the tablet. “I’ll have one of the nurses contact you with the results, but unless it comes back different than we expected I want to see you in three weeks.”

  Christine nodded. “I’ll make the appointment
before we leave.”

  “Great.” Dr. Hays turned to face me. “Congratulations to you both. I look forward to seeing you more often.”

  “You’ll see me at every appointment unless I’m on the road.”

  Dr. Hays smiled at Christine. “He’s a keeper.”

  “Yes. He is.”

  “Get dressed. I’ll meet you up front with a prescription for vitamins.”

  Dr. Hays pulled the curtain behind her before I heard the door open and close again.

  Christine threw her legs over the table and leapt into my arms. “We’re going to be parents.”

  I spun her around the room, careful not to hit anything, and pressed my lips to hers. “I love you.”

  “I love you, too.” She kissed me a few more times before I broke the connections and set her on her feet to get dressed before things got out of control and I wasn’t able to walk out of there without everyone seeing the hard-on through my jeans.

  “Hurry up and greet dressed. I’m taking you to lunch.” I gave her a light tap on the ass on her way across the room.

  “God, yes. I’m starving.” She started to pull on her clothes.

  “Anything particular you’re in the mood for?” I tugged my phone from my pocket to check out places near the doctor’s office.

  “Sushi?”

  My fingers froze over the keys and my head snapped up. “You want what?”

  She shrugged and pulled her shirt over her head. “I was thinking sushi sounded good.” She turned away from me and bent down to put on her shoes.

  “You hate sushi. Oh damn.” I ran a hand through my hair. “Don’t tell me the pregnancy cravings are kicking in already.”

  If she craved sushi now, what crazy shit would she want to eat five months from now? I closed my eyes and tried not to think about it. The idea of eating slimy, raw fish already made my stomach churn.

  Was she even allowed to have sushi?

  Then I noticed her shoulders shaking as she put on her other shoe.

  “You’re fucking with me. Aren’t you?”

  She stood up. Mirth filled her eyes as burst out laughing. “Maybe just a little bit.” She held up her hand, her finger and thumb right above one another making a small sign.

  “Ha, ha. Very funny.” I wrapped my arm around her waist and yanked her closer to me. “You got me standing here trying to think of a way to tell you I didn’t think you could have it, all while trying to convince you not to rip my nuts off in the process.”