He watched her swallow, eyes wide again. “Seriously?”
He ran a hand up and down her back again. “Yes. So we’re in the same boat. I’m sure you’re shocked about my lack of experience considering how smooth my game is. Ha ha. But we’ll figure it out together.”
She took a breath. “What a double standard. Here I’ve been worrying myself sick about telling you I’m a virgin, and all the time you had the same secret. You never even considered it might be an issue for me to find out you were a virgin.”
He shrugged. “True. I didn’t worry about your reaction to my innocence. Didn’t seem like it would be a deal breaker for you. You seem like the type of woman who might find it endearing, but trust me, it’s not like I didn’t get harassed plenty by the guys in my gym class in high school.”
She rolled her eyes. “Don’t you want to know why I haven’t lost my virginity?”
“I assume it’s pretty much the same reason I haven’t lost mine. No point just having sex for the sake of doing it with a random stranger. When the right person came along, you would know it. Right?” And the right person is currently looking me in the eye, flushed and gorgeous.
She chewed on her bottom lip, her face dipped toward his chest. “Yeah. But, well, I’m not ready to have sex, so I need you to respect that for a while. You’re moving at a fast pace. I need more time.”
He set his hand on the side of her head and stroked it down her hair. “Kate, look at me.” He waited for her gaze to lock on his. “I would never do anything to intentionally make you uncomfortable. Never. We move at whatever pace you want.”
“Thank you.” She was trembling.
He would do anything to ease her fears. Her virginity was obviously not the deal breaker she had presumed, though he still found her concerns mind-boggling. It was sweet and would bring him to his knees if he could stand. But he did need to respect her wishes and act accordingly.
She nodded slowly. “For me it’s just a personal decision. At some point along the way when I was in my early twenties, I realized I wasn’t like other women. I wasn’t made to jump into bed with random men and have meaningless sex. In fact, the idea does nothing for me. I want the world. The dream. And I won’t settle for less.”
He stroked his fingers through her hair, so endeared to her. “That’s beautiful, Kate.”
She flushed and set her cheek on his chest again, but she spoke. “Don’t get me wrong. You’re the first man to tempt me. But I want to be sure. And more importantly, I want you to be sure. It would destroy me if we gave that piece of ourselves to each other and then you changed your mind about us.” She lifted her face again. “I need to feel certain, and I need to be assured you do too. Maybe that’s corny, but it’s who I am.”
His heart leaped out of his chest. It was hers. Did she realize he was holding it in his hand, offering it to her to do with as she pleased? No matter what happened, she already owned a piece of him, and she had the power to destroy him as well. “It’s not corny. Corny is how often I practiced lines in my mirror trying to get up the nerve to talk to you. I was pretty sure my scientific pick-up lines wouldn’t go over well.”
She gave him a slight smile. “I don’t know about that. I’m kind of into science nerds. Try me.”
“Okay, well, my personal favorite is ‘do you have eleven protons because you’re sodium fine.’”
She giggled. “Yeah, you’re right. That’s pretty bad.”
He sobered. “But truly, you aren’t corny. I respect you and any choice you make.”
She cleared her throat and looked him in the eye again. “That’s why I need us to take this slow. It’s so fast. It feels like we’ve gone at the speed of light toward something I’ve wanted so badly for so long that I don’t trust it to be real. It scares me.”
He threaded his fingers in her hair, loving the silky feel of it. “I know it’s fast, but it’s also not. Imagine if we hadn’t been in those cryostats for ten years and we’d simply discovered our mutual attraction with each other suddenly this week after tiptoeing around for three years. We would be in this same position.”
She gave him a coy grin. “Except you would have the strength to tempt my resolve.”
He grinned. “Okay, there is that. You’re probably right. My lack of stamina and our situation is buying you all the time you want, but I would never rush you anyway.”
She cocked her head to one side and shot him a look. “You’ve done nothing but rush me.”
“Emotionally, maybe. I’ll admit I’m anxious for you to admit you’re so into me that it makes you flustered. It’s nice not being the only one who feels this way all the time, but I would never rush you physically.”
“Every time you touch me, my body lights on fire and I start to panic.”
“I know.” He grinned. “That’s why I want you to admit we’re already a couple. The rest will fall into place.”
“You haven’t even kissed me. What if there’s no spark? What if one of us doesn’t like how the other kisses?”
His grip in her hair tightened and he set his other hand on top of the one she’d rested on his chest. “You’ve been reading too many romance novels.”
She groaned. “Give me a break. When have I had time to read romance novels?”
“Okay. Okay. But you have it all backward. The spark is already a given. You seriously can’t fuck up a kiss with someone you’re head over heels for.”
“Yeah, well…” Her voice was filled with that doubt again.
This, he could fix. “Come here.” He gave her head a nudge forward.
“Why?” She gave him that narrowed skeptical eye again.
“Because I’m going to kiss you and put that fear at ease.”
“You’ve only been awake three days. You need more rest. You’re getting ahead of yourself,” she hedged.
“My lips are working fine.” He slid his hand to the back of her neck. “Lifting my head to come to you or flipping you on your back so I can hover over you are currently not options, though, so I need you to come to me.”
She licked her lips and glanced at his. And then painstakingly slowly, she smoothed her hand up his chest and lowered her body over his.
He grabbed her arm with one hand, still cupping her neck with the other. Every inch of her delectable body against his was heaven. And then she kissed him.
It started out as a simple peck, but he took control, angled her head to one side, and teased her lips with his own, tasting her, luxuriating in the feel of her soft, full mouth against his. When he drew his tongue across her bottom lip, she moaned into his mouth and parted her lips.
Oh yes. This was heaven on earth. He was definitely not dead or dreaming. He was kissing the woman he’d lusted after for three years. And it was perfection.
Chapter 12
Kate wasn’t sure if she was more nervous or less after having her entire world spin in circles from that kiss. She couldn’t stop thinking about it or touching her lips as if she could still feel him against her hours later.
Luckily, he gave her space after that and stopped hounding her for an emotional commitment. They spent the rest of the day in the great room with their amazing hosts, Graham proving once again how strong he was by sitting upright and engaging in conversation as if he hadn’t emerged from a coma just three days ago.
He also insisted Kate set him up with her computer so he could start nosing around in it and get himself up to speed with technology. Naturally, he buried himself in the laptop for hours. Every time Kate glanced at him, she found his brow furrowed and his fingers moving fast over the mouse pad and the keyboard. He didn’t ask questions. Instead, he figured things out on his own. This was the man she knew. The one she’d fallen for. Serious. Dedicated. When he occasionally shifted his attention to her and shot her a quick smile, she melted a little more. He was the entire package.
Kate helped Eliza with dinner and pushed thoughts of later that night out of her mind for the entire day. It wasn’t until J
erry helped Kate support Graham to get him back to the bedroom that she let her insecurities seep back in.
She knew they weren’t going to have sex. That wasn’t the problem. The problem was she also knew she didn’t have to have sex with him to tumble completely under his spell. It was already too late. Sleeping in the same bed with him holding her against his body would draw in deeper.
She worried about Graham’s ability to make rational decisions so quickly after being reanimated. What if he was suffering from some sort of emotional overload or something, and now he felt the need to seize the day without thinking his decisions through?
What if he regretted having sex with her…?
They took turns using the bathroom, Kate leery about leaving Graham in there alone, pacing outside the door until he was finished and let her back in to lean on her as he made his way toward the bed. His strength was noticeably better by the hour.
She joined him ten minutes later wearing her usual soft shorts and a tank top. Today she felt self-conscious about it, but it would be weird to climb into bed in her scrubs. Obviously, even though she’d done so on the cot at the clinic, he would never buy that she slept like that when she was alone.
“You’ve been awake for a long time,” she pointed out conversationally as she turned off the lights.
He was on his back, sheets drawn up to his waist, hand reaching out to her as she climbed onto the other side of the bed. “Maybe tomorrow I can make it all day.”
She was nervous and excited and aroused as she lined her body up with his, pressing into his side for the night.
He wrapped his arm around her and held her close as she set her cheek against his shoulder. “Relax,” he whispered. “We’re just going to sleep.”
She sighed. “You’re certifiable if you think lying next to you with you touching me all over is just anything.”
He chuckled and kissed the top of her head. “We could kiss again,” he suggested.
“Oh, that’ll help,” she responded sarcastically.
He laughed and hugged her tighter. “Yeah, it’s probably a bad idea. The next time I kiss you, I don’t think I’ll be able to stop things from escalating. I only did that earlier to prove to you there were amazing sparks. It worked. I’m good.”
“You’re conceited and a lot cocky. Was this always hiding behind the shy, slightly geeky side of you?”
“Maybe… I don’t know. I still feel the same inside, but I also know I’ll do anything to ensure you realize I’m serious. I won’t kiss you again tonight if it makes you nervous. I took a gamble. You had doubts. I didn’t want you wandering around for days on end thinking there’s even a slight chance sex between us won’t be good. I mean, I’m no expert, obviously, but I think what we have is real. Did I or did I not prove my point with my lips alone?”
“You did. That’s what scares the hell out of me.”
“It was meant to calm you, not make things worse.”
She lifted her face toward his. There was enough light coming from the nightlight in the bathroom to make out his expression. “It backfired. I kinda lost a few brain cells during that kiss.” She was shocked by how bold she felt with him.
A huge smile spread across his face. “Excellent.” His hand went up into her hair, and he pressed her face back down to his chest. “How about if I tell you one of my winning jokes to lighten the mood and help you relax.”
She chuckled. He truly could be just as nerdy as the day she’d met him at times. “Go for it.”
“An infectious disease walks into a bar…”
She groaned. “The bartender says, ‘We don’t serve your kind here.’ And the disease responds with, ‘You’re not being a very good host.’”
Graham laughed. “Guess you’ve heard that one.”
“Who hasn’t?” But he had accomplished one thing—she felt more at ease.
“Go to sleep.”
It took a long time to force herself to relax. Her mind wouldn’t stop wandering to all the future possibilities between them. She was not kidding. She was both anxious and nervous about taking their new relationship to a level there would be no turning back from.
Eventually, his even breathing and steady heart beat lulled her to join him in sleep.
The following morning Kate took them through a routine of showering, eating, and exercising. As they were finishing, Dade showed up, and he was not alone.
Kate had settled Graham on the couch in the living room when they all heard the SUV pull up. Kate went out front with Jerry to find not just Graham and Blair but Grayson and Bianca too. Kate rushed down the steps of the porch to greet them.
Before anyone got to Bianca, Kate closed the distance and opened her door. She immediately pulled her friend in for a hug. When she finally released her to hold her at arm’s length, she found herself emotional. “You look great. I’m so glad you’re here.”
Grayson set a hand on Kate’s shoulder. “If you move, I’ll get her out of the car,” he teased.
Kate ducked back out of the way, but she also gave Grayson a hug on the way by. “Haven’t seen you in a month either.”
He stared down at her indulgently, a half grin on his lips. “It is nice to reunite. I wish we weren’t all scattered.”
“You need help?” Dade asked Grayson.
“Nope, I’ve got her.” He unbuckled her seat belt and bent to scoop her into his arms. Bianca was a petite woman anyway, but Grayson made her look like a rag doll as he carried her toward the house. Her long dark hair was as radiant as it had always been. Her skin was just as tanned. And her big brown eyes were alive.
As Grayson carried her inside, Kate watched the way Bianca held on to him and wondered if there were sparks between them like the ones Kate had with Graham. It was all in her head, of course, but based on verifiable evidence, many of the members of the original team were finding love soon after reanimating. Maybe it made perfect sense if everyone else had the same feeling Kate did that life was short and should be embraced. But was that the right reason for her to have sex with Graham?
It also shouldn’t be surprising that any one of them would find love among their group. They had a lot in common. Most of them were near the same age. They’d devoted their lives to science. And, most importantly, they’d been through the same crisis together. Even those among them who worked in the bunker with the second team or as support staff had a much better understanding of what it was like to be revived than the average human.
It was also possible that some members of her team had hooked up before they had all succumbed to AP12 and been preserved. Kate hadn’t specifically known that to be true, but there were twenty-one of them. Anything could have happened during those last few months.
She shuddered as she considered the possibility since the team was now scattered all over the state or even farther. Perhaps some of her coworkers had been sent to undisclosed locations without someone they loved.
Graham sat straighter and twisted toward Bianca as Grayson settled her on the loveseat. Kate watched his face light up. “It’s so good to see you guys.”
Grayson spun around and gave Graham a firm hug. “You look fantastic.” Grayson stepped back and settled on the loveseat next to Bianca. Protective. Not surprising. Kate felt protective of Graham.
Graham shrugged. “According to Kate, I’m moving along faster than most others, but I’m impatient, so it’s not fast enough for me. I can’t stand not having full mobility because my muscles are weak and my brain won’t fire messages fast enough.”
“Tell me about it,” Bianca complained. Her head rolled back against the sofa, but then Grayson stood up and situated her on her side so that she was curled up lying in the corner instead of trying to sit.
Kate intentionally did not sit next to Graham because she wasn’t in the mood to have her relationship dissected, and she knew him well enough to know he would give them away in an instant by putting his hands all over her. Instead, she pointed at the couch and looked toward Dade and
Blair. “You two, sit.”
As they took a seat, Kate lowered into the armchair.
Graham shot her a knowing look and raised his brows. He was onto her. Of course.
Jerry and Eliza excused themselves and went out the back door, rightfully assuming serious plotting was about to commence in their great room, though the idea of kicking the kind older couple out of their own house unnerved Kate.
She had noticed Dade speaking to Jerry before they came inside, though, so surely they were on the same page.
Dade slapped his hands against his thighs. “So, here’s the deal.”
Everyone turned their attention to him.
“I still don’t have a flipping idea what’s going on in the inner circle of DEEP, but I don’t like it. I’ve been moving people around for days now. No one knows where any of you are, and I’d like to keep it that way. Colton, Josiah, and Khloe are all with Dalton. He’s armed. They’re in a safe house. They’re going to stay there for the time being.”
“Where the heck is everyone else?” Grayson asked.
Dade nodded. “Tushar and Trish are at the bunker with the last two people who came out of their cryostats.”
“Did Mina and Shelby stay back with them?” The two women were both medical doctors from the second team put together by Ryan.
“Yes. In addition, Ryan, Emily, Zeke, Michelle, and Damon Bardsley are at another government bunker in New Mexico. There are a few people preserved there also.
“No idea how many yet, but I do know Temple moved two of the reanimation chambers to New Mexico for the purpose of reviving people there. Damon is working on that. It’s his specialty for anyone who doesn’t know.”
“So, what can we do to help?” Graham asked. Kate imagined he would leap off the couch and save the world if he had the strength.
Dade shot him a smile. “Funny you should ask. When I mentioned the other day that I needed you, it was because of an idea Spencer has.”
“Of course. Anything.” Graham glanced at her, determination on his face. He was stronger than her.
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