by J. L. Belk
CHAPTER FOUR
Ezechial decided it was time to return home to his family. He gathered a few supplies, and asked the Priest to secure him a horse. He told him he would send payment upon his arrival home. He was told this could take a day or two, but also that he needed to be here during this time because they were trying to end this matter with Jesus. Ezechial found he was having issues with leaving, and was told he could not get his supplies together until after the Sabbath. Since this was six days away he went to his room and wept over the phenomenon he was now a part of. He buried his face in his bed and silently wept. His body was so exhausted after a heavy term of weeping that a deep sleep fell upon him. In this sleep, he dreamt of his last days at home, the laughter, the meals and the feel of his wife’s hand on his face. This night was the most rest he had since his healing. Not a single dream of Jesus entered his sleep.
The next morning, he awoke almost forgetting about the events of the previous day. He only needed to be free of his decisions for a couple of seconds, then a deep depression fell upon him like a flood. After his meal, he went on a walk, and decided to visit the temple to try to find some peace. Upon entering the temple, he heard business as he usually heard every time he made his sacrifices. He entered the temple, went into the sanctuary, fell on his face and wept. He was in there awhile when he heard a disturbance like he never heard before. He went toward the door when he saw Jesus destroying the tables and running the merchants out of the temple. He did not want to face him so he hid in the crowd and ran from the temple.
Although he had hidden from him he felt the presence of him, and was sure he knew he was there. This disturbed him and he remembered the wedding and the feelings he had about him that day. He remembered the piercing eyes and how every time he looked at him he would look back as if he could feel him looking. As if he was looking for the way by which he should go, and Jesus Himself was the way, but this disturbed him more than gave him peace. For to turn your back on the Messiah is a damnation no man wants to know, but to turn your back on your Savior is a hurt you'll never dispose. HE felt like He knew his name.
Hiding from yourself is a hard hill to climb, since it’s the loose rocks that can crush you, and he had surly left a pile of loose rocks in his journey. For when you start hiding from yourself, that's when the darkness creeps in. His life had become dark, so dark he didn't know if he could ever find his way back to being a Pharisee. The law no longer made as much since anymore. For some reason, he felt that there was a different way and the scribes and his fellow Pharisees were doing it wrong. As if learning, there was more than he expected. Like the stars were more than little specs in the sky.
He briskly walked away from the commotion and tried not to gather to much attention. As he walked through the city he saw people’s faces and wondered how many had believed the teachings of this man. Was he alone, were there more, were they bold or like him? He spent the day wrestling with his conscience. As the night began to fall he made his way back to his room. Sleep was an evading enemy that night as the hours’ drug by.
The next day he heard that Jesus was still in the temple and stayed with the council. It was a very disturbing day as they argued about Jesus and the temple. They even discussed having someone kill him in the name of GOD. These discussions went on for two days. Far into the morning and picking into the afternoon. No One could come up with a sufficient plan to get rid of them. It seemed that no answer was to be discovered.
As these discussions went on into the third day, one of his disciples entered the room and announced himself as Judas Iscariot. He was a member of Sicarii, a militia group intent on overthrowing the Roman Empire. He had joined Jesus believing he was the messiah that would over throw the empire. Having walked with him over two years he began to realize he was not a warrior nor did he any longer believe he was the Messiah. Since he felt betrayed by this preacher of love and believed in the rewards of turning the other cheek, he now wanted to betray him.
He entered the room and announced that he was willing to hand him over to them for a price.
When they asked his price, he stated, “For one-hundred pieces of silver I will hand him over.” They laughed and said they would give him twenty. He then returned with thirty, and they agreed. They said that offer was only good if they had him in the dungeon before the end of the week. He agreed and asked for his money. They replied, “Only when the soldiers have him will we be allowed to give you your money.” He agreed on this and told them he would figure out how to deliver him to them. The discussion carried on for a while when Judas told them that he would hand over Jesus after they celebrated the Passover feast. They were so happy they offered him a place at the table with them, and would honor him as a hero. Judas was very proud and told them that this was the beginning of the end of the Roman Empire, for he surely would carry on his efforts to bring them down. Then more cheers and haling him as a hero erupted. All this split Ezekiel’s heart more and more.
When Judas left the discussion became more cheerful as they now knew that they would finally have him. There was more laughter and jokes of finally destroying this so-called messiah, and putting an end to this Christian movement. When Annas heard the news, he said that before Passover they would celebrate. This event burned a searing hole in Ezechial’s heart, for now he doubted that he was the Messiah they all heard about, and he only had two days to put an end to the Roman Empire.
That night they had a feast and all the men were very merry of the thought of the days to come.
They thought that they would have a couple of weeks to torment him before being put to death. Annas then announced that he planned to bribe the guards, and talk to Pilot to hurry the killing along. He planned to have him scourged with a special cat of nine tail that he was sure would kill him during the beating. For he knew this man was a very muscular man that stood over six feet tall, and could very well survive a normal beating. He explained that this whip was designed to rip every piece of flesh off his back and chest. Surely even cut into his heart bringing immediate death. Annas was so pleased that he brought out his special wines from his personal stock to celebrate this momentous day.
While the party carried on Ezechial made the excuse he was not feeling well and left the room. He walked out of the hall, down the street and out of the city. Finding a hidden place, he wailed and screamed even harder than he did the first night he realized he was going to die alone in the wilderness. He felt like his life would end, for the turmoil of being a believer and a coward was more than he could stand. He decided he had to figure out what he believed and stick to it. After all his crying, he decided he would keep on with the charade and talk to his family in private, telling them to keep it a close secret so they would not face what he has.
Being a coward, he had finally made a decision. It was like he’s crossing a river. He thought he knew where he was, where he wanted to go. He thought, I will adjust my strokes according to the current. This was a very wise thought in a different context, but a major wrong in the matters of the spiritual. For to go with the flow was going to take him down a set of rapids that he didn’t want to travel. It would take him to a place he never wanted to be. It was going to require a price he never wanted to pay. But he was only thinking of getting out of Jerusalem alive. So, he then reentered the city to carry out his plan, and get home to his family.
The next night Judas came and told them he would take the soldiers to where Jesus was. Annas summoned the soldiers and told them to get him and bring him back to his house while he summoned the Sanhedrin. Ezechial was there in the house, as this was his place to be. Jesus was later brought back with a disciple and one stood outside the door. Ezechial was horrified as Jesus looked at him in the company of his accusers. He began to think that he knew all along he would be there, but how could a mere man know this. Annas asked Jesus what was his doctrine. He replied, “I spake openly to the world; I even taught in the synagogue, and the temple, whither the Jews always resort; and in secret hav
e I said nothing.” As a soldier struck him for talking such to the Priest he said, “If I have spoken evil, bear witness of evil: but if well why smitest me?” Then Annas told him to defend himself against the High Priest, and then sent him off to see his father-in-law Caiaphas.
The Sanhedrin was called to an emergency session, as Jesus and only one of his disciples stood outside. For one disciple followed and stood outside the door by a fire. Annas came in with the solders and asked the council to judge this man. As Ezechial stood by the fire he asked if it was true that one of the soldiers almost got his ear cut off. The soldier said that it was cut off. However, being threatened with punishment by the centurion he said that he was not sure, maybe he just scared him. But in his heart, he knew he was touched by the true Messiah.
Inside they jumped on Jesus like a pack of wolves devouring a deer. They made all sorts of accusations naming him an enemy of the Empire and the church. When a man by the fire asked the other man if he was there he cursed and said I told you I do not know him. Suddenly a rooster crowed and Jesus looked outside, and the man ran away crying. Ezechial suddenly knew this man was his disciple, for he knew the pain of living with betrayal. He recognized the pain and the shame as he turned and looked at the eyes of Jesus. He had to leave also, for to stay would eventually require bravery.
He went back to his room and buried his face once again in his hands. As the morning came He was told by Annas that the man Jesus was going to be crucified after surviving the beating. He asked him to come with him, and he followed very reluctantly. They stood on a balcony overlooking the streets, and he saw a site that froze him in his spot. There was Jesus, beaten and almost unrecognizable as a man. There were shreds of flesh hanging from his body. His blood was trailing behind him in the streets. He could also see almost all of his ribs. Tears could not even be held back as his eyes watered. Annas asked why was he crying for this heretic. He just
said this is the worst thing I’ve ever seen.
Jesus had fallen in the streets and a man, a Gentile of Africa, stepped up and carried his cross to the place of his death, the hill Golgotha, known as the skull. When Annas saw the inscription on the cross; JESUS KING OF THE JEWS he became furious and said, “I must see Pilot” and stormed off. This is when Ezechial decided to go to the hill and see what was happening. There were also two other men being crucified with Jesus. They were screaming in pain as the spikes were driven in their hands. He noticed Jesus offered no resistance, laying down and offering his hands and feet to the nails, while the two other criminals screamed and fought to get away. While being lifted he could hear the thud as the cross hit the bottom of the hole, and the sound of ripping flesh.
This is a terrible death he thought and as one of the men hang there cursing and ridiculing him, the other asked to be remembered. Jesus looked at him and said, “Today thou shalt be with me in paradise.” He turned to leave when suddenly it grew dark. This was not a normal darkness, this was a deep darkness. Like the darkness that they had heard about when Moses brought their ancestors out of Egypt. This darkness lasted a while as he could see fires starting to be lighted. The fires gave off light but not as normal, the light didn’t travel far as if a glow of an almost burned out candle, it was there but very small light.
When the sun came back he was far away but he looked back and heard Eloi, Eloi, Lama
Sabachthani? Being a learned man he knew what he was saying, MY GOD, MY GOD, WHY HAST THOU FORSAKEN ME. These words ripped out the remainder of his heart. He returned to his room. The next day was the Sabbath.
On the Sabbath, he stayed in his room all day because he had heard that Jesus was dead. Guilt and fear ripped deep into his soul. He cried, he prayed, he meditated on the scriptures with no comfort. When the meals were offered he only ate out of courtesy to the host. For there was no hunger nor desire for food in his spirit that day. He prayed that this day would hurry and go by. As the hours passed like a snail he was glad to see the morning.
At the first sign of light he gathered supplies, took his horse and headed home. He left Jerusalem defeated but glad to be going home to his family. As he left the city he didn’t look back because there was nothing on that day he wanted to see again. It would be a long time before he came back. All he wanted was to get home, which was a tragedy in itself, because he knew nothing of Jesus rising from the grave.