by Lola StVil
“Nessa, can you give us a second?” I ask.
“Okay, but hurry, my shift starts in half an hour,” she says as she runs away. Her speed is inhuman, making her departure a blur.
“Disney, I’m trying to help you. What’s the problem?” I ask.
“Are you seriously asking me that?” she demands, shocked.
“Yes!”
“ARGH! I can’t even with you!” she says.
“C’mon, human. Use your words.”
“Where do I begin? I mean, really what the hell am I supposed to say?”
“Whatever you have to say, it’s gonna start with ‘thank you,’ right?”
Her mouth drops and she looks at me as if I’ve lost my mind. She then shakes her head with a mix of anger and disbelief.
“Okay, I see what the issue is here—did you want to be a werewolf instead?”
“You think the issue here is that I’m more ‘team Jacob’ than ‘team Edward’? Really? That’s what you think the problem is?”
“I have no idea who Edward and Jacob are,” I admit.
“Never mind, how can you do this?”
“Try to save you? I don’t know. I thought it might be nice if a dark, evil army of creatures didn’t kill you.”
“You came to the loft, attacked innocent people—”
“OHMYORAH! We can’t keep going over this. Humans aren’t innocent. They are vile, bloodthirsty, cruel beings. The only thing that separates them from demons are powers. That’s it!”
“So back in New York, you really would have just thrown those people to their deaths?”
“Yes.”
“How can you say that? Kane, how can you care so little about human life and then claim to love me?”
“I don’t know. I only know that both are true. Yes, I love you. But yes, I hate humanity. I don’t hate them enough to plot their demise, but hey, if someone does, I’m fine with it.”
“You can’t be this cold and this…broken! What the hell happened to you? Tell me. What was your Break? What turned you into a demon?”
“I didn’t come here to get grilled by you. I came to save your life, and you’re acting like you don’t want me to.”
“No, I don’t! Not like this. I don’t want to be a Shadow. I don’t want to leave all of mankind to perish and save myself. And how dare you try to take away my choices. I get to decide if I want to be a vampire or a werewolf. I decide the things that go on in my life, not you.”
“You want to play hero for a failed quest that will never happen, fine. But I’ll be damned if you lose your life because of it. I don’t know how it is I fell for you, but here we are. I won’t let you die. And if that means I have to take your life by force to have you reborn as a vampire, then that’s what I’ll do.”
“How could I be so stupid?! You don’t give a damn about me. All you care about is what’s good for you.”
“Don’t you dare say that to me. I am down here in these stupid caves, hiding from the demon world, risking everything to turn you into a Shadow. I have disobeyed a god for you. I have put everything on the line because the very thought of you being gone from this Earth…ARGH!” I shout as I put my fist through the cave wall. The earth around us shakes and chunks of rock fall down from the ceiling. It startles her. She looks up at the ceiling, worried that more debris will fall.
“Don’t you get it? I won’t let you get hurt,” I promise her.
“I’m already hurt. You tried to take out my team. The group of angels whose sole purpose is helping me save humanity. You throw humans around like they are disposable. Who are you?”
“I’m the demon you’re in love with. And I don’t think your issue is with me. I think your issue is with you. You’re wondering how you could be so good and yet feel what you feel for me. You’re angry at yourself because even after the bus driver, even after I tried to kill your team, a part of you still loves me.”
“Maybe, but that part doesn’t rule me. I’m sorry you feel that the world isn’t worth saving. I think it is and I will do anything to make sure we find Pascal and get passage to the afterlife so we can find the veil.”
“You won’t find Pascal.”
“Yes, we will.”
“No, you won’t. I killed him.”
“What?! When?”
“The day after you told me what the first object was.”
“Wow, great. You found him and killed him so we wouldn’t have passage to the afterlife. I can see why you’re such a good demon,” she says sardonically.
“Keeping you safe meant making sure you didn’t go to the afterlife. That meant getting rid of Pascal.”
“DON’T BULLSHIT ME!” she snaps. I look at her but don’t reply. “You didn’t do this to protect me; you did it so you would be a good little Keysu. You did it because in your heart you really are an evil bastard. And I’m the fool who loved you. Now, all of humanity will pay for my mistake,” she says with tears in her eyes.
“How dare you shed tears for humanity? They don’t deserve your tears. You are putting your life at risk for nothing. You think I’m cold and evil? You have no idea what the humans are capable of. You don’t know the depths of their malice. The things that I have experienced under the hands of humans…”
“Then help me understand, Kane. Tell me what your Break was.”
“You don’t know what you’re asking of me. I betrayed Arken for you. I betrayed all demon kind for you. And if it came to it, I know that I would give my life if it means you get to keep yours. But I won’t tell you my Break. I can’t.”
“What about your first name? Do I at least get that?” she asks. I look at her, and right away she knows the answer.
“Hate to break this little melodrama up but I have to go. So, can I have my snack now?” Vanessa says as she enters the cave in a blur.
“Yeah, go ahead,” I instruct.
“Kane, no! Don’t do this! I don’t want to be a Shadow. Please!” She begs as she fights Vanessa off. The pain in my chest grows as she pleads for my help.
“This is the only way. Trust me,” I remind her.
“How can I? I don’t even know your first name!”
“It’s Liam. Okay? My first name is Liam. Disney, we have to do this.”
I wave my hand; she’s instantly bound to the wall of the cave by a black liquid-like rope. It goes around her hands and feet. I nod to Vanessa. She grazes the side of Disney’s face with her blood red fingernails and then sinks her sharp fangs into her neck. Disney sends out a bloodcurdling scream as tears fall from her eyes. Watching her be in pain is really fucking hard. And knowing it’s by my orders makes it even more unbearable.
“Okay! That’s enough!” I snap at Vanessa, who is enjoying the hell out of her task. She pulls back, and her eyes are deep red and bulging with rage. Her blood-soaked fangs sneer at me. Before I can stop her, she lunges out as me. I catch her midflight and I slam her against the wall. However, she is so strong; it’s only a matter of time before she frees herself.
“Nessa, calm down. It’s over. Feeding time is over.”
“Just a little more!” she demands.
“Don’t make me kill my favorite stripper,” I reply.
“Fine,” she says, retracting her fangs. I let her go. She blows a kiss towards Disney and then zooms out of the cave. I go up to Disney and take away her restraints. She collapses onto me. I gently place her on the ground and kneel beside her. Her eyes are barely open. I wipe the tears from the corners of her eyes.
“It’s okay. I’m gonna kill you—but you’ll come back to life soon—having died with vampire venom in your blood. The transformation hurts—a lot. But soon it will be over,” I vow.
“Kane…no…please…no.”
“It’s the only way,” I plead as I raise my hand over her, preparing to drain the life from her with a simple gesture of my hand.
“No…no…” she begs weakly.
“I’m sorry,” I reply. She looks up at me as the blood loss forces he
r to close her eyes. Her last words to me ring out in my ear.
“Kane, I’ll never forgive you. Never.”
***
Disney opens her eyes and she looks around. She’s unsure of where she is or what’s happened. Her head has been resting my lap for the last hour: my version of heaven.
“Am I…did you make me a Shadow?” she asks as she sits up and examines herself.
“No.”
“You mean…”
“Yeah, Vanessa bit you but I couldn’t kill you. So you are still human and still screwed,” I reply as we get up off the floor.
“What made you decide not to do it?” she asks.
“The way you looked at me…like I was…”
“Like you were what?”
“The villain.”
“Thank you for not—you know.”
“Yeah, well don’t thank me. I’m going to take out your team. I need to ensure you don’t finish the quest.”
“You already killed Pascal. What more obstacles do you want to place in front of us?”
“Whatever I need to,” I assure her.
“Whatever. We’ll defeat you. We’ll find a different way to get to the afterlife. And you know what, Kane, all this time you have been acting like I should fear you but I think it’s you who should fear me. I won’t let the world end. And if I have to take you out…I will.”
“I guess we will have to see who wins,” I promise her.
“That’s just it, Kane, sometimes this world can tear your soul into millions of pieces. But you find a way to repair it. Or else, even if you win…you lose.”
“Not everything can be repaired,” I reply in a small, distant voice. She sighs, places her warm hand on the side of my face, and look deeply into my eyes.
“Liam Kane, what happened to you…?”
***
Multiple fires have gutted the house on Bleaker Street and yet the basic structure remains. It’s the house that would not burn and it stands at the end of a now abandoned block in the city of Cincinnati. I try to stay away from this place, but something always brings me back here. I walk towards the gutted structure.
The pit of my stomach fills with ice as I get closer. I have powers second only to Arken, and yet I feel as weak as a newborn standing on the sidewalk. I study it as if there’s some hidden message I might find there. There is no message. There’s just debris, decay, and the looming scent of death. There are flashes invading my mind. This is a great way to get pulled into a Wave Point. Being here always pulls me into my memories. The next thing you know, I’m in ridiculous pain that I can’t get out of.
However, this time I don’t get pulled into my memories. Instead, I am sinking into my thoughts. It’s been a week since I let Disney go. In that time, the witches in the Alliance have worked together to cloak the damage done to downtown Brooklyn while they repair it. And the vampires in the Alliance have erased the memories of the humans who were there that night.
On the surface it looks like everything is back to normal. In truth, things are more messed up than ever. For one thing, I can’t seem to get her last question out of my mind:
“Liam Kane, what happened to you?” That’s what brings me back to the house, the place that was jokingly referred to as “The Market.”
“What the hell are you doing here?” he says from behind me. I turn to confront the voice. It’s Talon Mars, a big, tatted up, bald-headed Select demon. He has a big scar that goes from his temple down to his chin. He became a demon long before I did, but as soon as I became one, he sought me out. He waited for me. Talon was like that. He could be the meanest son of a bitch that ever lived but he always had my back. I’m the reason he got that scar…
“You get uglier by the day,” I taunt as we quickly embrace.
“You’re a lying sack of shit; I’m as pretty as they come,” he says with a booming voice and a big smile.
“The hell you are! Girls run away when they see your ugly ass.”
“It might be because I set them on fire a few times,” he says, laughing.
“You know there are other ways to make a girl scream,” I reply.
“Yeah, but not nearly as fun,” he says.
I shake my head. “You sick bastard,” I reply.
“I am as Orah made me,” he says proudly.
“Where have you been?”
“Well since humanity is about to go bye-bye, I thought I’d enjoy it while it’s still around. Been flying all over the world having fun. Set a few towns on fire; beheaded a few humans who didn’t understand their place. And I had me some nice ‘cake’ from all over the world. Sweet, moist slices of goodness. Damn, I’m gonna miss human girls. You think Arken will let us keep a few around for…you know?”
“I think the girls would prefer oblivion to being with you,” I joke.
“Look, I’m sorry I didn’t come back and congratulate you on being Keysu. That’s fucking awesome, man! What’s it like getting all that power?” he says excitedly.
“It’s…different.”
“Yeah, I bet. So, what’s Arken like? I heard he’s kind of a tool but his powers are insane, man, right?”
“Yeah, he’s something,” I reply bitterly.
“Hey, what the hell is up?”
“What do you mean?”
“Kane, don’t bullshit me! Why is it taking you so long to kill this chick and end this quest? This should have been handled.”
“Yeah, I know.”
“So, what’s the holdup?”
“It’s complicated.”
“Hey, ain’t nothing complicated after you become a demon. You only have three things you need to do: Kill. Fuck. Repeat.”
“You really are a poet, you know that?” I mumble.
“Okay, now you are starting to scare me. What’s up? You act like you don’t want to do this, like the end of humanity is somehow a bad thing.”
“I’m not saying that.”
“You better not be. Man, I remember my first killings after becoming a demon. It was such a rush: slicing into fresh flesh with my blade, the blood oozing out of their bodies. All of them screaming for their pathetic little lives. ‘No, please! Why are you doing this! Why?!’” he says, mocking his previous victims.
The fact is, as good as I am with a blade, Talon is better. His speed and precision earned him the nickname “The Surgeon.” And when he’s not wielding his famous curved blade, he’s harnessing dark matter into large spheres. When he sends them towards his target, they are like mini nuclear bombs. He’s leveled entire cities before. He enjoys the blood and chaos. Talon has a rep for being wild and unpredictable. He has a mean streak to rival Arken’s. He gets off on it.
“Look, there was a moment I took your promotion hard. I wanted to be the one to help end humanity in a painful, sadistic way. But then I thought, ‘Hey, at least my Ace gets to do it.’ And I know you will make those hateful bags of flesh pay. Just let me help with part of the carnage. Seriously, give me a city to destroy,” he says. I don’t reply. He looks at me.
“Is it that old lady? You still mourning for her? No, you can’t be. Your wings are back to normal. So what is it? You can tell me anything man, demon to demon.”
“I know. Everything’s fine. How did you find me?” I ask.
“Your cell was off so I talked to some witch chick and she couldn’t find you. Said you were cloaked and didn’t want to be tracked. But I figure if there’s one place you will return to eventually, it’s this shithole.”
“Yeah, no getting away from this place,” I reply as I turn back and face the house. Talon turns towards it too. We’re both silent for a while. Trapped in our own nightmares and thoughts.
“Tal, you ever wonder what we would have been like if we—if we didn’t know this place? If we were never here?”
“Yeah, I guess,” he says.
“You think we could have been…different?”
“I don’t know. I don’t think it matters. All that matters is that we have the powe
r now,” he says.
“Talon, I never said thank you for…you know, that night.”
“You wanna thank me? Stop screwing around and end this.”
“Talon, the girl…Atlas.”
“What about her?”
I’m in love with her.
“Nothing,” I reply as I turn back to look at the house that mocks me.
“Too bad we didn’t know this Atlas chick would be the new Seeker. We could have taken her out back when we took out her mom,” he says as he starts to take off.
“Wait, what are you talking about?” I call out to him.
“Someone paid me to kill her mother.”
“Who?”
“Sadie.”
It’s days later and Talon’s words still ring in my ear. I never thought of Sadie as good or evil; she was just Sadie. She was resourceful, sharp, and powerful. I am not shocked to hear that she killed someone, but hearing that it was Atlas’s mom, that shocks the hell out of me. I thought for a second that maybe Talon was lying to me, but Talon wouldn’t lie, not to me.
I know I have to go see Sadie myself and figure out what the hell is going on but I’m distracted. The team is hell-bent on finding another way to get to the afterlife without needing Pascal. Man, what is it with this girl and saving humanity? It’s like a real thing with her. She’s more determined than ever since our last encounter.
I thought she’d get discouraged from the quest, but all my attempts to stop her have only riled her up more. The angels and the witch are also stepping up their game. The loft has so many damn enchantments now, it’s impossible to get anywhere near them, or her. There’s another thing distracting me, Mason Mills. I hate that guy. Aside from us being on different sides, he’s also been getting closer to Disney.
My Disney.
She thought he was gonna go crazy on her after I attacked them. She thought he’d blame her, that’s just what a guy like him would do. Dick. But instead, he consoled her and told her it wasn’t her fault. He was understanding, supportive, and attentive. Again, dick.
The only reason he’s so kind to her is because he wants her. Oh and also because she holds the key to the fate of the world, blah, blah, blah. I stand in the condo where we once lay together and watch her on the Hobb. The screen appears, and an image of Disney and Mason comes to life. They are talking in the kitchen, and no, there is no reason for the two of them to be standing so close to each other.