Kissed by Shadows (Kissed by Shadows Series, Book 1)

by Lola StVil

  “Pest!”

  “Right, right. Sorry.”

  “I should kill him, right?”

  “Didn’t Atlas say not to go after her team?”

  “Yeah but that was…business. I wanted to kill him so the quest would end. But now, it’s personal. I have to kill him because he kissed my girl.”

  “I don’t think she’ll make that distinction.”

  “So Mason gets to live, his team gets to live, and I kill no one? Then on top of that, I have to keep a secret from her?”

  “What secret?” Pest asks.

  “It’s about the night her mom died. I found out something that she needs to know but Sadie has an issue with me telling her.”

  “Well, if it’s about the night her mother died, don’t feel too bad, she’ll know what happened soon enough,” Pest says as he sips his tea and scans his book.

  “What are you talking about?”

  “She contacted me this morning—we met up for tea. Lovely girl. She asked about memory stones. She wanted to obtain one so she could go back to the night her mom died. I had one here and I gave it to her. She’s so sweet; she even offered to pay for it.”

  “You gave her a memory stone?”

  “At first I hesitated because looking at the past can be traumatic, as you well know. But then again, she’s a friend and she needed closure. She said she’s gonna use the stone as soon as her shift at the bookstore ends tonight,” he says.

  “Damn it, Pest! That memory stone isn’t the key to getting closure; it’s gonna cause her Break!” I head to Brooklyn hoping I’m not too late.

  ***

  This entire situation is my fault. I couldn’t stand to see her and Mr. Perfect kiss, so I stopped watching for a few days. That was enough time for her to reach out to Pest and get herself in trouble. I appear in the alleyway behind the bookstore and find her throwing out the trash. She’s not wearing anything special: faded jeans and a long-sleeved shirt. Her hair is kind of a mess and there is a smudge on her face from having made contact with some part of the wall. And yet, with all the above, she’s easily the prettiest girl I’ve ever laid eyes on.

  “Hi,” I call out to her. She turns to face me with a startled expression. “Didn’t mean to scare you,” I assure her.

  “I wasn’t scared.”

  She’s so cute when she lies.

  “You shouldn’t be out here alone. Someone could sneak up on you,” I warn her.

  “Someone did.”

  “No, Disney. I mean someone dangerous,” I reply. She looks away from me so I won’t see her expression. But I can tell what she’s thinking by the way she avoids my eyes.

  “So in your mind, I am the danger,” I conclude.

  “I didn’t say that.”

  “But that’s what you think, isn’t it?”

  “Liam, what else am I supposed to think?”

  “Then why aren’t you running away? Why don’t you flee, in fear for your life?”

  “I don’t run. And even if I did, it wouldn’t be from you. I know you would never attack me. But I worry about everybody else.”

  “See, that’s your problem: you worry about other people.”

  “That’s not called a ‘problem,’ it’s called having a heart.”

  “Disney, I asked you the morning after we were together if you regretted sleeping with me. You said no. Has that changed? Are you regretting what happened between us?”

  “No. What I regret is knowing it can never happen again.”

  Her words are a poisoned blade that buries itself into my chest and begins to twist. Fuck, this shit hurts. But you’d never know it from my face. I shrug her comment off as if she just made a casual statement like “I hate toast.”

  “It’s fine, I don’t think I can fit you in anyway,” I reply.

  “Fit me in? Are you seeing someone?”

  “One?”

  “Oh…right. You have more than one, I’m sure.”

  “Well, a demon can’t survive on evil deeds alone,” I reply with my best smile.

  “Yeah, I supposed not.”

  She wants to say something else. She opens her mouth but nothing comes out. I want to tell her that I have no room for anyone but her. I want her to know that her existence has changed me in ways I still don’t fully understand. And more than anything, I want her to know that watching her fall into Mason’s arms damn near killed my ass. I open my mouth but like her, no words leave my lips.

  Fuck!!!

  “I really should get back inside. I made the mistake of playing GO with Perry, and it turns out he spent a lot of time in Japan and is an expert at the game. He was gloating so much I swiped a few marbles off the board, just to mess with him.”

  “I knew you had an evil side,” I joke.

  “You have no idea,” she says, clearly kidding. “Look, I should get back. The team came to help me close up. I don’t want them to think I abandoned ship,” she says awkwardly.

  “You also don’t want them to know that you’re out here…with me.”

  “They know what happened between us. Mason told them to let it go so we can focus on finding another way into the afterlife. We need to get that veil.”

  “Have you come up with another plan?” I ask. She looks at me but says nothing. It’s her way of saying she won’t talk about the mission with me ever again. Just like she won’t let me hold her ever again.

  My mind goes back to that night. I don’t let myself go back there too much. Like a poor kid who somehow got his hands on something shiny and valuable, I keep my memories of that night hidden away; they’re too precious to pull out every other minute. I keep them safe and protected. But standing here knowing I will never feel her silky skin beneath my fingers makes me want to revisit that night.

  Flashes flood my head before I can stop myself. I feel her delicate fingers running through my hair. I hear her sighing softly when I make contact with parts of her no one has before. I remember the taste of her lips—sunlight—they taste just like what sunlight would taste like. How is that possible?

  It’s not just the way she was with me that I covet—it’s who I became when I was with her that night. I was never gentle with a girl before; don’t get me wrong, I was never a dick. I never forced a girl or hooked up with her if she was too drunk to consent. That’s a pansy ass thing to do. But I never gave myself so fully to pleasing someone else.

  Normally when I’m with a girl, there are six other things on my mind. So while I’m with her, I’m really not. But that night, Disney had my undivided attention. And what’s craziest of all, I wanted like hell for her to stay in bed with me. That had never happened before. But now, it’s back to nights of meaningless sex followed by empty mornings.

  I will never feel her head on my chest again…

  Look, you jerk, just tell her how you feel right now and then get back to the memory stone. Go ahead; tell her you want to be a better demon for her if that’s what it takes to be with her. Let her know that you are capable of change. You are capable of change, aren’t you, dickhead?

  “Disney,” I call out as she starts to head towards the backdoor.

  “Yeah?”

  “I…I saw you kissing Mason.”

  What? That wasn’t the plan. What the hell is wrong with you?

  “You were spying on me?! Wait—of course, it’s right up your alley.”

  “I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

  “Liam, I know you think that’s a good reason, but it’s not. And now, you come here to what—yell at me for kissing Mason? Look, I don’t—”

  “That’s not what I came here to do. I wanted to let you know that I think…I think Mason is good for you. He’s into saving people and all that crap. He’s…the right choice.”

  “Really?” she says in disbelief.

  No, he’s not! It’s me! I’m the right choice. Maybe not the right choice, but Mason can’t love you more than I do. And I know I’m the guy that mothers warn their daughters about but I’m also
the guy that will rip through any motherfucker that tries to hurt you. I know you think I don’t have a heart but I do—it’s you. You’re my heart and you’re walking away from me…

  “Liam? You okay?”

  “Yeah, I’m good.”

  “So you’re really okay with the kiss?”

  “Yup.”

  “The kiss wasn’t planned. I mean…we’re trying to get to know each other,” she says, almost to herself.

  “Right. Anyway, there’s actually another reason I came here.”

  “Oh, what is it—is it Pest? Is he okay? Did you know sometimes he forgets to eat? He gets so lost in his research; he once went a full three days with no food.”

  “Sometimes he doesn’t sleep or leave his house at all. The neighbors called the cops once because they thought they smelled a dead body. Turns out Pest was knee deep in a medical journal and forgot to bathe,” I tell her.

  “What happened when the cop got there?”

  “He treated them to an hour lecture on the history of society and law enforcement starting with ancient Egypt. He irritated them so much, they threatened to take him away if he didn’t shut up.”

  “Let me guess, he kept talking?” she says with a smile on her face.

  “As he was cuffed and put into the police car, he went on a tangent about the history of the metal restraints.” We share a laugh and I assure her that Pest is fine and that he’s now obsessed with a fairy tale based in the Shadow world.

  “He told me about it, there was a copy here in the bookshop. It’s strange because it’s not in our inventory. I swear it wasn’t there before. But then again, we buy books from new writers all the time, so I’m sure it doesn’t mean anything. What was it you wanted to ask me?” she says.

  “Pest said you got him to give you a memory stone,” I begin.

  “Yeah, I’m going to use it after we close up.”

  “Disney, that’s not a good idea.”

  “Why?”

  “Seeing the way your mom died…”

  “I know, it will hurt to watch but I think if I can get through it, it might give me some peace, you know?”

  “All too well.”

  “Liam, don’t worry. I read about how to active the stone. I think it’ll be hard to watch but I also think it will help me heal.”

  “You can’t use that stone,” I warn.

  “I know my magic isn’t there yet. Oh, and just so you know I did make the water in the glass bubble. I mean like really huge bubbles—with steam,” she says like a proud little kid who just figured out how to tie her shoes. I can’t help but smile.

  “Quinn wrote a spell for me. I will say it out loud, cut my hand and let the stone soak in my palm, and I will be transported to my mom’s last day on Earth.”

  “I need you to trust me on this, don’t use the stone. Going back to that night will hurt you more than it will heal.”

  “Liam, I have to do this. I need to know what happened to her.”

  “You already know. Seeing it isn’t gonna make it any better.”

  “She died alone, with no around. She was on a cold, dirty sidewalk. I couldn’t be there for her then, but I will be here for her now.”

  “Atlas, I’m not asking. Give me the stone. Now.”

  “Fine, but keep your eyes on me. I want to see the look on your face when I hand you the last moments of my mother’s life. I want to know if there ever was a heart inside you,” she accuses as she places a hard round stone into the palm of my hand. I do as she says and look into her eyes. In truth, I don’t think I could look away even if I wanted to.

  “Disney, I’m sorry but it’s better this way,” I reply as I place the stone in my pocket.

  “Just go, Liam. Go,” she says with a stern look on her face; I teleport back to Pest’s kitchen, where he is still reading. I make a mental note to burn the damn book that keeps him so distracted.

  “I got it!” I announce.

  “You didn’t hurt her, did you?” Pest asks.

  “No, she gave it to me willingly.”

  “Atlas Morgan just gave you the stone that contains the last moments of her mother’s life? And she didn’t argue or try to fight you for it? That’s contrary to everything I have seen of that girl. She never goes down easily—especially when it comes to her mother.”

  “Yeah, she did give in pretty quickly,” I reply. Something tells me to check my pocket. I pull out a black round marble—the kind that belongs on a board game.

  “Damn it! She switched the stone on me. I gotta get back. She can’t know who killed her mom,” I shout as I’m about to disappear.

  “Wait, Kane! Who killed Atlas’s mom?”

  “Langston.”

  I reappear back in the ally a few moments later. Disney stands a few feet away, holding the stone in the palm of her hand. I charge ahead but am blocked by some kind of force field. I look down at her feet; she’s placed three crystal prisms near her in the form of a triangle. Clever girl.

  The prisms are called Zim. When three of them are placed in the form of a triangle, they create a barrier. Zim barriers aren’t impossible to get past. In fact, most Shadows can get past them fairly easily. But it will take a few minutes, and that is more than enough time for Disney to activate the stone.

  “Don’t do this!” I beg her.

  “There’s a reason you’re trying to stop me from using this stone. What is it?” she asks.

  “It’s—Disney, you shouldn’t do this.”

  “What is so bad that you don’t want me to see, Liam?”

  “It’s your mom’s death. Isn’t that enough of a reason?”

  “There’s something else. Something you’re not telling me. What do you know?”

  “I’ve never lied to you, don’t make me start now. I need you to trust me when I tell you, using that stone will hurt more than it helps.”

  “I’m sorry. I have to do this.”

  “Disney, don’t!”

  She opens her hand to reveal a beaming stone. That means Quinn’s already spoken the words to activate it. Now all she has to do is cut into her palm and place the stone on top of the blood.

  “Damn it!” I shout as I start blasting power balls at the Zim barrier, trying to crack it. It’s weakening but not fast enough. She picks up a jagged piece of glass off the ground and cuts into her hand. The cut isn’t deep but it creates a small stream of blood. She places the stone in the palm of her hand.

  The memory stone creates a freestanding mirror with a liquid, shimmering center. All Disney has to do is enter the mirror and she will be pulled back into her mom’s memory. “Disney, trust me,” I warn. But she doesn’t trust me, at least not on this issue. She turns back to look at me, just before she walks into the mirror, just as I break down the Zim barrier.

  The mirror closes, the portal is gone. I won’t be allowed inside; memory stones will only work for beings who share the same bloodline of the person. If I were her brother or even her cousin I could have walked through after her, but I’m stuck on the outside waiting.

  When Disney enters the memory, she will find her mom cutting across the dark park, on her way home from work. She’ll find two figures stalking her mother and eventually cornering her. Disney will come face-to-face with the two beings and shock will spread over her as she recognizes her mother’s attackers: Quinn and Langston. I recall the story of how Disney’s mom died. And according to Sadie, it actually starts with a happy, loving family…

  Sadie told me Quinn was a happy child; she grew up in happy household with a powerful witch who loved her and an even more powerful warlock father, named Akio. Quinn and Sadie had a close bond but it was nothing like the bound she had with her dad, Akio. The two of them were inseparable. If she was sad, he was the only one that could cheer her up. The first day of school, she cried and cried, said she was never going inside. Sadie had to call Akio to come to the school and agree to spend the day there with her, in order to get her to go.

  Naturally, Quinn soon went
to class on her own, but her favorite part of the day was coming home to recount her day to her dad. The two of them planted a garden together and pored over Shadow fairytales, classic literature from around the world, and most importantly, spell books. They had their own little club. It was all Sadie could do to get Quinn and Akio to stop long enough to eat dinner.

  That was before Sadie started to spend all her time protecting Disney. I think she really began to care about Disney and not just because she was slated to be the last Seeker. Soon Sadie started going above and beyond what the Alliance expected of her. She gave Disney all her time and was obsessed with ensuring that Disney was cared for and watched over. But when you put all your effort in one place, you are bound to be lacking somewhere else. That’s exactly what happened.

  Akio loved his wife and was a true Ny: he believed that humans were worth saving. However, he also wanted to save his marriage. He wanted Sadie to spend more time with the two of them, but she was often in a spot where she would have to choose between her family and her duty. Some days she could not be both a protector and a mother. And she had to choose—most of the time, her family lost out to Disney’s family.

  Akio was tired of trying to get his wife to make some time for him and Quinn. So he went to Sadie’s boss, Sia, a member of the council. She was the one who had assigned Sadie to Disney. Sadie had work extremely hard to become second to Sia. She had sacrificed a lot, and when she heard that her own husband tried to get her fired, the two of them had a major fight. Quinn tried to help but there was no way around all the troubles they were having. Eventually Akio moved out. Quinn was devastated. She blamed her mother for being so obsessed with Disney. Sadie insisted there were other factors—major factors in the break up of the marriage, but Quinn wouldn’t hear it. She spent a long time trying to find a magical way to get her parents back together.

  Meanwhile, in the Shadow world, Arken was doing everything he could to make sure that the last Seeker didn’t succeed. He was offering parts of the “new world” to anyone who could get to Disney. So Sadie had her work cut out for her. Soon, she hardly came home and she left Quinn on her own.