Still in disbelief, Lacey said, “But when you say ‘I’ you mean your family’s foundation, right?” She could feel herself repeating her words, but couldn’t stop herself.
Andrew shook his head slowly. “No. I don’t.”
Lacey gripped her car as she felt herself tip backwards. “What?” She stared up at him, he didn’t drop his gaze or move away, and she knew he was serious. “What do you mean? How can you pay for it?”
“My inheritance.”
“Oh.” Lacey put her hand over her heart. “I had no idea.” But she remembered when his mom said she was proud of what he was doing with his inheritance. “So, you’re giving up your inheritance for the building?”
“Well, not exactly.”
“So, what exactly then?”
“Umm, I’m using part of it. But not all of it.”
“How much inheritance did you get?” Lacey felt bold now.
He cleared his throat. “Please, Lacey, could we not do this here? Please?” His eyes pleaded with her too and she caved.
“All right, at least we could sit in the car.”
“Come on, my car’s over here.”
Lacey wanted to make a comment about her car not being good enough, but she refrained and followed him to his car. When she was seated, Andrew sat and turned to look at her.
“My grandparents left most of their estate to me. It includes the properties in town, but also a large sum of money. I didn’t even know they had that much saved. But they lived simply for as long as I can remember, and they invested their money years ago. I met with the lawyer, and he told me I was the beneficiary.”
“How much?” Lacey’s eyes were wide waiting to hear.
“One point six billion.”
Lacey’s mouth fell open. “What? Are you serious?”
Andrew nodded. “That was my exact response.”
Lacey sat without moving or speaking for a few minutes. At first she wasn’t sure what her emotions were. She wanted to yell, but instead her voice was quiet as she finally spoke. “And you didn’t even tell me?”
“I didn’t know how.”
“Were you afraid I would be after your money?”
“No,” his voice rose a notch. “That’s not it.”
“Are you sure? You saw my mom. You knew before we even went out that she went after guys for their money. Did you think I would be the same way?”
“Lacey, you’re not making sense. I didn’t tell you because I didn’t tell anyone.”
“No one?”
“No. I mean my parents know, and Hudson knows, but that was an accident. No one else knows.”
Lacey sighed. “Well, all right, but I thought I was more important. I thought you could trust me and tell me things. But I guess we aren’t as close as I thought.”
“Lacey, that’s not true.” He reached for her hand. “You are important to me. I wasn’t sure at first how to tell you, and it seemed too soon. Then things got more serious, and then it was awkward and I didn’t know how to bring it up.”
Lacey felt her anger rising. “You just don’t want to say anything that will upset the apple cart. You can’t be afraid to say something because I might get upset. I’m not a china doll.”
“I know that.”
“Do you? Because I can handle conflict. I’ve been handling conflict since I was six. What I can’t handle is you keeping secrets and being dishonest with me.”
“Being dishonest? How am I being dishonest?”
“You’re not being you. You’re not being open and telling me how you feel. You’re just sweeping things under the rug and hoping they never come out.”
“That’s not fair.”
“Not fair? What’s not fair is you walking into that meeting knowing that you don’t even have to worry what everyone else says. Not having to worry if they agree with you or not, because you can do whatever you want with your billion dollars. And what’s not fair is you pretending like you would consider keeping the building when you never intended to.”
“I did consider it. I told you, it was what’s best for the town.”
“And if you could just decide on your own, why did you let them have the committee? Was it all just a cover so no one would find out about your secret money?”
“No!” Now Andrew yelled. “No. I wanted others’ input. I wanted to look out for the best interest of the town, and I wanted the community support for whatever we decided to do. If the committee felt we should go a different direction, I would have agreed to that. I don’t want to be a dictator. I want to do good with what I’ve been given.”
Lacey let out a huff. “So what? Were you spending time with me just to try to convince me to vote your way? Was it that important to you to have a unanimous vote?”
Andrew rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I dated you, let you pick out my new dogs, flew you to New York and told you I loved you so I could have a unanimous vote on my pretend committee.”
Lacey stared at him, just a little impressed at the zing he had delivered without a thought. “Well, how do I know? I don’t know you. You didn’t tell me what you planned to present tonight, and you didn’t tell me who was paying for the building, and you didn’t tell me about your big, fat inheritance. How can I trust that you’re telling me the whole story now?” She glared at him for only a moment before climbing out of the car and slamming the door behind her.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Andrew stared at the wall in his office. He couldn’t say how long he had been sitting there. The hours passed slower and slower in the days since Lacey had stopped speaking to him. He had a pain in his gut all day, and he laid awake at night playing conversations in his head. He tried it one way and another, trying to figure out how he could have told her. The library building was one thing, he thought maybe she would forgive him for that. But the money thing? That seemed the worst part.
Why didn’t I just tell her? I was so determined not to let it define me that now it’s defined our relationship into nothing.
The office phone rang, pulling him out of his thoughts and drawing his eyes away from the wall. He stared at it for a moment as if he had forgotten how to answer. On the fifth ring he finally reached for the handle and picked up. “Andrew Hartley.”
“Hi, Andrew,” the female voice practically screeched over the phone.
“Hello?” Andrew said, with no idea who the voice belonged to.
“Your assistant almost didn’t let me through to you. You must be one important man in that town.”
Andrew sat, stunned into silence.
“But I just told her I was your girlfriend’s mother and that was that.”
Miranda. What can she possibly want? “What can I do for you?” As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he knew he had said the wrong thing. So much for getting better at one-on-one conversation.
“I just wanted to see how you’re doing.”
Andrew knew that was a lie. “I’m just fine, thank you. How are you?”
“I’m good. I’ve been visiting my son in Georgia. But I’m getting ready to move on from this. I’ve been thinking about my talk with Lacey about moving back to Pine Haven, and I’ve decided that’s what I want. I know you have real estate there and thought maybe you could help me find a new place.”
Andrew’s heart raced. Lacey would never want that, he knew that for sure. What could he say? “Well I don’t really work with residential properties.” He hoped that would buy him time to think.
“But surely you know someone, just to get me started.”
“Have you lined up work in the area? Most real estate agents want to know about employment.”
Miranda gave a shrill laugh that sent shivers up his spine. “Of course, I’m working on that. I’ve got a few leads.”
Andrew was pretty sure that was a lie too. “Hmm,” he rubbed the back of his neck trying to think of a way out of this. “I tell you what, why don’t you leave me your number and I’ll see what contacts I have that would be a good fi
t and I’ll call you back in the morning.”
“Sure thing. Thanks, Andrew. I just knew you were the one I should call.”
“Yes, ma’am.” Andrew didn’t want to be rude, but Lacey had told him enough about her mother to know she was going to ask for more.
“And Andy, maybe just don’t mention anything to Lacey yet. I would love to surprise her.”
Andrew could almost feel the sickly sweetness of her smile through the phone. Obviously she hasn’t talked to Lacey, or she would know that he wasn’t going to tell her anything. “And sweetie, you know, I’m working on getting a job, like I said, I’ve got a few leads. But until I get things figured out…” her voice drifted off, but Andrew remained silent. Miranda laughed again, “I’m not asking for a handout or anything. But a little loan to get me started would be so helpful. I’m sure Lacey would appreciate you helping me get settled in town.”
Andrew was certain Lacey would not appreciate that at all. “I’ll give you a call in the morning,” Andrew said, his voice sounding flat.
“Thanks, sweetie.”
Andrew hung up, hoping he wouldn’t hear Miranda call him “sweetie” ever again. And hoping he could figure out a way to keep her from upsetting Lacey by moving back.
* * *
The sun shone in through the window and across her bedspread, but Lacey didn’t care. She laid in bed and stared at the ceiling in disgust. The end of summer was approaching, but she still had a week left before she returned to school, and today she wasn’t working at the library. Normally she was up and going, jumping into plans for the day. Not today. She tried to think of something she wanted to do, but nothing came to mind. Well, not nothing. Things came to mind, but they were all things that didn’t sound fun to do alone. And I’m alone, she told herself. All alone.
“It’s fine,” she said out loud. “I’m single and I’ve been happy with that. I was alone for a long time. So why should it bother me now?” She couldn’t admit it out loud, but she knew it was because she’d gotten a taste of not being alone, and now she didn’t want to go back. But she’d also felt what it was like to be lied to, and she didn’t want that either. Lacey sighed and threw her arm over her head. She squeezed her eyes shut and hoped she could forget it all and go back to sleep. But every time she closed her eyes she saw Andrew’s face. His smile, his hand on hers, and his voice saying, “I love you.” She shook her head and told herself to think of something else. Something besides the loneliness that was closing in on her, and the man she had fallen for.
* * *
Two days had passed since Lacey spent all day laying her in bed. She was scheduled to work for the first time since Andrew had announced his decision to tear down the library building. Lacey pulled her bag over her shoulder and closed her car door as she stared at the building. Tears brimmed her eyes and she didn’t bother brushing them away. Inside she felt as if her heart was broken, and the sight of the library that she loved caused her outsides to show how she felt. She gave one last sigh and dried her face, then took slow steps to the front door. Inside she walked towards the desk and came face to face with Mary. She smiled as she began to look up from her work, but it faded when she saw Lacey.
“Lacey.” The one word was enough to cause Lacey’s tears to reappear, but she braced herself and wouldn’t let them come.
“It’s alright, Mary,” she said quickly. “I understand.”
Mary shook her head. “I’m sorry, Lacey. I know you love the old building.” She sounded like she wanted to say more, but knew there weren’t words to ease the loss. “I’m sorry.”
“I know. The new building will be great,” she pasted on a smile, hoping it looked real. She didn’t speak her thoughts out loud, that she didn’t ever want to see the inside of the new building. “It will be alright.” Lacey dropped her bag behind the desk. “Need me to do anything specific today?”
Mary slowly nodded as if she didn’t want to say. “Yes, we are re-cataloging all books, and making note of any books that are in disrepair and need to be replaced.”
Lacey knew why. “How long?” She asked.
“We’re not sure yet. But we want to be prepared when we need to move things into storage.”
Lacey nodded. “All right. Just show me where to start.” Mary walked her to the back shelf and pointed to where the last worker had left off. Then she left her to it. Lacey took a seat on the floor as she began to work on the bottom shelf. With a notebook and pen beside her, she pulled out the first book and examined it. She ran a hand over the front cover of the copy of “Little Women.” Memories flooded her as she thought of the first time she read it. Mrs. Simmons, the librarian, had led her to the shelf and pulled it out. She gave it a gentle hug before holding it out to Lacey.
“I think you’re ready for this one now,” she had said.
“What is it?” Lacey wrinkled her eleven-year-old nose.
“It’s a story about a family of sisters.”
“Oh,” she said, her voice unenthusiastic. With her own family situation, she wasn’t sure she wanted to read a book about a family. Those kinds of stories usually only showed her what she was missing. But her love for Mrs. Simmons won out, and she took the book to a table and sat down. One page after the other she read about these sisters, their trials, triumphs, arguments, and fun times. Lacey had thought the book might be painful to read, but instead of reminding her of her own lack of a normal family, the book became her family. She would imagine that she was one of the sisters as she walked home from school, and played in her room, and even as she went to sleep at night. She began to read other stories about families, and those characters became her friends and family too.
Now, sitting on the floor of the library, Lacey ran her fingers over the books on the shelf and let the tears run down her cheek. Everyone else just thought they were getting a new building, but she felt like she was losing her home, her family, her childhood. She wanted to stand up and run from the building. Tell Mary that she wouldn’t be back, that she was sorry. But she just couldn’t. As hard as it was, she was afraid to miss her last moments in this place with the familiar stories. No, I’ll stay here and finish. I’ll give this place a strong finish, and I’ll say goodbye here, on the floor with my past.
With each book she touched she remembered the words inside and got a glimpse back into her past. But with every memory, happy or sad, her heart ached at a very different thought. The thought of her future. Alone.
* * *
“I don’t know what to do. I’m at a loss.” Andrew rubbed the back of his neck trying to ease the headache he could feel coming on. “Dad, what should I have done?”
“Son, I’m not sure it matters now what you should have done.” He paused and seemed deep in thought. “Sometimes you spend too much time thinking, and thinking over what you should do or what you should have done, instead of just doing something.”
Andrew felt that like a knife in his chest. “Really?”
Patrick grimaced as he nodded. “Yes, I think so. I’m sorry to say it, and I know that you are so thoughtful and you want to do the right thing. But you might have missed out on some great opportunities because you are stuck inside your head instead of the outside world.”
Andrew stared at his Dad. “Why haven’t you told me that before?”
Patrick massaged his forehead with one hand. “I never wanted to hurt your feelings. And I don’t want to change who you are. You think a lot, and you have great ideas, and that can be a good thing. And a lot of people blurt out the first thing that comes to mind without thinking, and that’s not always good either. But there has to be a middle ground. You’ve got to learn when to stop thinking and start doing.”
Andrew knew he was right, but he was still uncertain. “But I still don’t know what it is that I should do.”
“What do you want to do?”
“I want to get her back.”
“Then go do that.”
Andrew smiled. “Just like that?”
; “Just like that.”
A few days later Andrew sat in the familiar pew in church. He had looked for Lacey when he walked in, but he guessed she had gone back to the early service. They had only attended church together a couple of times, but those memories were sweet. He had sung the worship songs and bowed his head for prayer, with a smile across his face that just wouldn’t leave. For so long he had hoped to find a partner for life, and part of that was someone who shared his faith and could sit beside him in church as they worshiped God. Now he sighed, looking at the empty seat next to him. His parents were on his other side, their hands linked together. Even after more than thirty years of marriage, that’s how they sat in church every Sunday.
As the final song before the sermon played, Andrew tried to focus on the words on the screen. But it proved too difficult. God, he silently prayed, I’ve really messed this up. I wanted it so badly, and was so afraid to say or do the wrong thing, that I said and did all the wrong things. He squeezed his eyes closed, still trying to come up with how he should have handled things. After the song ended and the pastor prayed, he asked everyone to open their Bibles to Philippians chapter three. Andrew followed the instruction and began to search for the correct passage. Before the pastor even began to speak, he saw a verse he had highlighted some time ago. “Forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press toward the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”
Andrew silently read the words and let them wash over him as he began to pray again. Lord, I’m sorry for how I handled things. I was too busy worrying, and I wasn’t trusting You with the outcome. If You want me and Lacey to be together, nothing can stop that. Not a library building, or even a billion dollars. But I let my fear control my decision. I’m sorry, Lord. But I don’t want to look behind anymore. I will strain forward to what lies ahead and press on. God, please show me what to do and guide me in my next steps. I will trust You with whatever happens.
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