by J. P. Comeau
They both cast me a ‘we get it’ look before gathering their things. And while the food in front of me smelled good, I wasn’t the least bit interested in eating. Kelly didn’t look upset. Her face didn’t register anything akin to anger. So, was she really angry at me?
Or, really good at covering it up?
“Kelly, I--.”
She picked up her fork. “Spit out your plan so I can eat.”
I sighed. “Kelly, we’ve known each other forever. You, me, Zane, and Roxy. That’s how it’s always been, ever since college.”
She stabbed her lettuce. “I know.”
“So, why in the world would you be asking something so important from someone you just met?”
“Well, Clint did come highly recommended by two girls I trust.”
I felt my heart slide to my knees as she chomped away on her salad.
“Karina and Roxy told you to go for him?” I asked.
She nodded. “Yep. They did.”
“And you trusted them with that?”
“Yep. I did and still do.”
“So, you’re still contemplating this with Clint?”
She sipped her coffee. “Honestly? I didn’t realize my virginity was such a prized possession to others. Now that I have choices, why not explore them?”
I snickered. “That’s not really like you.”
“Everyone else does it. Why can’t I?”
“Because you’re different.”
“Different, how?”
I shook my head. “You’re… decent, Kelly.”
She paused. “What?”
I pushed my food away. “You’re decent. You’re good. You’ve got a great head on your shoulders, and you’re destined to do great things with it. You’re more than what you put out. You offer more than good looks and witty banter.”
“You think I look good?”
“Any man who isn’t blind thinks you look good. Men stare at you all the time. Don’t you see it?”
She cocked her head. “They do?”
I sighed. “Fucking hell, you’re serious right now.”
“I don’t get it.”
I scoffed. “Kelly, you’re a fucking bombshell. Why do you think I asked you out so many times in college? You’re smart and capable, and hot as hell. Which is why I’m putting my bid on the table, so to speak.”
She set her coffee down. “Say I’m considering it. What’s your plan?”
Bingo. “The plan is for me to do what Clint said he’d do. I’ll take your virginity. We can wrap it up on a date or on a vacation weekend. We can go anywhere, book a hotel suite in any place, or even do it in the comfort of your own bed. But, at the very least, you should entertain someone you know. Someone you trust. Not some random guy that comes recommended by Roxy and Karina.”
Her eyes studied me. “Do you know why I never said ‘yes’ to you in college?”
“What?”
“Whenever you asked me out, and I always said ‘no,’ did you ever figure out why?”
I licked my lips. “Actually, no. I never did.”
She sighed. “It’s because you were always surrounded by women, Brenden.”
“I mean, I’ve always been a handsome devil.”
“And a player.”
I almost swallowed my tongue. “What?”
“You’re a player, Brenden. A heart breaker. You cycle through women like popsicles, and when you’re done with them, they never hear from you again.”
“Kelly, you have my word that we’d remain friends. Nothing would change between us.”
“Except everything would change. That was the great thing about Clint. I had nothing with him, not even a friendship. So, there’s no getting awkward whenever he’s around because I’m not friends with him. So, he’d never be around.”
“He’ll be around now that he’s working with Zane and me.”
“But, we never hang out. And I don’t suspect we will. That was the allure of Clint. One night, very casual, as much bumbling around as I need to get the job done, and then we part ways.”
“Is that really what you want, though? Because this doesn’t sound at all like you.”
“None of this sounds like me, Brenden!”
She said it so loudly that the restaurant hushed to a low whisper. I looked around and saw people staring at us as Kelly locked her heated gaze with my face. I drew in a deep breath and forgot about my food. I reached for my water, wishing to God on high I’d ordered that whiskey instead. And after taking a small sip, I gathered my thoughts.
Don’t fuck this up. “Kelly, I--.”
“Save it, because I’ll make this really easy on both of us.”
“Fair enough.”
“I’d be too nervous with you, Brenden.”
I furrowed my brow. “What?”
She took another bite of her salad. “Hooking up with Clint was the ultimate package. I didn’t know him, I’d never seen him, I didn’t have an established relationship with him. So, if I screwed something up or tooted on him in the process or did any number of things I’m sure will eventually happen, there’s no harm involved.”
I blinked. “Farting happens during sex, sometimes. It’s normal.”
She glared at me. “Let me finish.”
“I’m sorry.”
She nodded. “With you, things would have to be forced. I’d be too nervous with you because of our history and because of our friendship. And forcing sex for the sake of having sex doesn’t sound fun.”
“No, it doesn’t.”
“I mean, I don’t get why it’s such a big deal anyway. I don’t get why guys can’t just go on dates with women and be okay with cuddling and heavy petting and making out. I don’t get why they have to have sex in order to establish a relationship with a woman, nor do I understand why they struggle to tell a girl ‘hey, I’m just looking for sex.’ That statement alone would’ve saved me a lot of heartache over the years.”
“I’m so sorry, Kelly.”
“My point is, I think Roxy is right. As much as I hate the idea of just giving this to someone for the sake of doing it, it would make me more comfortable around men. If I lose my virginity, I could start telling guys, ‘I just don’t have sex until later on in things’ instead of saying ‘I don’t have sex at all.’”
“Or, and this is a novel thought, you could simply tell them you want more than sex.”
She snickered. “I do. And they lead me on anyway. Until they figure out they can’t get sex from me because I’m a virgin, and then they leave. And the cycle starts all over again.”
“So, explain to me why losing your virginity to some random guy rather than someone you know is going to help you with that situation.”
“Because throughout all of this, everyone seems to be focused on the fact that this is for someone else. When really, it’s for me.”
I paused. “So, you really do want to lose it.”
She nodded. “I do. But, guys never stick around long enough to prove to me whether or not they’re worth giving it to. And from the small interaction I had with Clint last night, he proved more to me in that regard than any man has. Including you.”
That hurt more than I wanted to admit. Her words cut deeper than I would have imagined. And I found myself swallowing a knot in my throat as I reached for my water glass to chug.
And chug.
And chug.
“You okay?” Kelly asked.
I shrugged. “I’ll get there, sure.”
“It’s not meant as an attack, Brenden. But, I also don’t think you understand how you come off to other people.”
“Well, I do now.”
She reached for her coffee. “The idea of having sex is petrifying to me. For anyone, that would be enough to go through with it. Just to get the fear out of the way and feel bolder proceeding back into the dating world. But, for me? It’s more. It finally feels like I’ve got control over that unknown part of me. I had control over it. Control Clint gave to me last night un
til you took that away. He gave me control, and you removed it.”
“I get it, Kelly.”
“Do you really, though? Because you don’t look like you do.”
I clenched my jaw. “I didn’t realize it would piss you off so much. I’m sorry. I really am.”
“So, who spilled the beans to you last night? My sister?”
“No, actually.”
“So, it was Karina? Or Zane? She told Zane?”
“I really don’t want to tell you who told me.”
She nodded slowly. “Clint said something.”
“I mean after we poked and prodded him, yeah.”
“How much poking and prodding?”
I closed my eyes. “We only asked him a question, and he answered honestly.”
“Ah.”
My eyes whipped open. “He is a good man. He’s an honest man. But, his honesty sometimes comes at an emotional cost to others.”
“I… don’t really know what to do with that information.”
“Kelly, you have to believe me. Last night wasn’t meant to hurt you. None of this right now is to hurt you, either. I just--.”
Her eyes found mine, and all I wanted to do was take her in my arms.
“I just wanted to give you time to make sure you were making the right call,” I said.
Her eyes grew sad. “What was your plan?”
“Does it matter?”
“More curious than anything. Say I went along and said ‘yes’ to you, what was your plan?”
I slumped back, defeated. “I was going to suggest that we make things as comfortable for you as possible. I figured that, if you really had waited this long, maybe the context of marriage might help things.”
Her eyes widened. “You were going to suggest--.”
“Not actually get married, Kelly. Come on.”
“Oh.”
“But, there are plenty of chapels around here I could’ve paid to do some sort of a fake ceremony. Something to relax us and get us to laugh. Then, I was going to suggest we book a honeymoon suite for a long weekend. Have lots of comfort food, drink nice wine. Maybe enjoy the sun setting over the Vegas skyline. You know, make things romantic before we started exploring. And since we were in it for a long weekend, we could take it at your pace. If you didn’t want to get right down to things, we could take a night or two to warm up, so to speak.”
She sighed. “That… actually sounds kind of nice.”
I shrugged. “I thought so.”
Silence fell between us as my food officially went cold.
“Kelly, I’m not as cold-hearted as you--.”
“I don’t think you’re--.”
“Let me finish.”
She nodded. “Sorry.”
I drew in a deep breath. “I’m not as cold-hearted as everyone thinks. I just don’t enjoy being alone. It sucks, being alone. Waking up alone. Doing everything alone. Even more so, now that Zane has Karina. I know people see me as the party guy. As the one with no rules, or whatever. But, all I try to do is bring light and laughter to those around me. That’s all I want to do. That’s all I wish to do for a woman someday if she can ever look past my goofy demeanor and my checkbook.”
“I didn’t know, Brenden.”
I waved my hand in the air. “We all have our struggles and our demons. This is one of yours. But, just so you know, I’m still offering that plan.”
“You--you are?”
I nodded. “It’s still out there, just for you. It’ll be two friends making one another as comfortable as possible before I take your hand and usher you through something that’s beautiful, and magical, and sweaty, and bumbling, and filled with love.”
“Love?”
Her voice was so soft, and I wondered what it might feel like against the shell of my ear.
“The champagne in the honeymoon suite will also help.”
She snickered. “Really, Brenden?”
I grinned. “Hey, alcohol always helps any situation.”
“Or hinders, depending on what side of the fence you’re sitting on.”
I nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, I guess you’re right.”
Her eyes fell to her lap. “Well, you better set it up perfectly because I’m not going to be stuck with you for an eternity.”
Did I hear her right? “Come again?”
Her gaze found my stare. “I said, you make sure to set this up correctly. I don’t want to end up married to you after this is all said and done.”
“Wait, are you saying…?”
She nodded. “I hope you can deliver, too. Because I heard some insane stories about Clint last night.”
I smiled brightly. “I promise you I could outdo all of them before the weekend is out.”
“I don’t know. It sounds like you might need a full week to do that.”
“You name the time frame, and I’ll make it happen.”
She nodded softly. “One week of your time, in a honeymoon suite, complete with the fake marriage ceremony. And champagne. The good kind, too.”
And without hesitating, I sealed my precious fate.
“Done.”
7
Kelly
A Week Later (Friday)
I stared at Roxy as she came out of her bedroom. The black dress she wore fell off her shoulders and accented the sparkling diamond necklace that settled itself perfectly against her bosom. The white belt around her waist accented the curves I was very envious of, and her long legs poured forth from beneath the flowing black skirt that danced with intricate white flowers sewn into the skirt itself. Her diamond bracelet matched her necklace, a set she got two years ago from our father on her birthday. And as her heels clicked across the floor towards me, the wonderful berry smell of her body spray wafted up my nose.
“I’m pretty sure the rule isn’t to outshine the bride,” I said.
She smirked. “Well, get married for real one day, and I won’t try to.”
I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, like that’s going to ever happen at this rate.”
“Hey, you’ve got a man fake marrying you today. That’s more than what I’ve ever gotten.”
“Says the girl who’s gotten more gifts from men than from our own damn father.”
She looked down at my bag. “That’s all you need?”
I peeked at it. “What?”
“You’ve only got two.”
“Well, yeah. Why?”
“You’re going to be in a penthouse honeymoon suite for a week, Kelly. You need more than two bags.”
“I’m pretty sure the point is to be in as little clothes as possible for the week. Right?”
She grinned. “You freaky little thing, you.”
“What?! Roxy, the whole point of this--.”
“Girl, I’m just messin’ with you.”
But, it didn’t stop her from putting her hands on my shoulders and looking directly into my eyes.
“Don’t ask again. I’m tired of answering the question,” I said.
“One more time. For me, okay?” she asked.
“Fine. Ask.”
“Are you sure, without a shadow of a doubt, this is what you want?”
I nodded. “Yes. It is.”
“And you don’t have any reservations?”
“None whatsoever.”
“And you two have talked about this? Extensively?”
“All this past week, every single day, and sometimes multiple times a day. He didn’t make a single decision without asking me first.”
“And you’re sure about that?”
I sighed. “He did say he was going to get me a wedding present, whatever that means.”
“But you don’t know what that is?”
“Roxy, I trust him enough to let him surprise me with some stupid gift. Okay?”
She cupped my cheek, playfully sniffling. “My little girl’s growing up so fast.”
I shrugged her off. “I hate you.”
“You love me.”
“I hope you ge
t hit by a car.”
“I knew you loved me.”
I walked over to my closet. “I hope you scuff your heels today, walking down that aisle.”
She gasped. “Why, I never in all my life--.”
I started laughing. “Get over here and help me figure out what the hell I’m going to wear today.”
Roxy started rifling through my clothes. “Well, think of it this way: after all of this is over, you’ll be ready to move forward and find a guy you can be confident in having a relationship with.”
“This has nothing to do with men. This has to do with me. I’m tired of this fear, and this one little thing controlling every decision I make with a man. For once, I’d like to relax on a date. I’d like to not lie to a guy when I say ‘I don’t have sex on the first few dates’ without feeling like I’m withholding this dirty little secret. I’m tired of carrying that weight around.”
She held a pink dress up to me. “Well, I’m proud of you.”
I held my arms out. “I think that’s a bit too much.”
“Yeah, me too. Let’s try that navy blue one? Do you still have it?”
“You don’t think that shows too much boobage?”
Her face fell. “You’re getting fake married so you can get for-real laid. No such thing as ‘too much boobage’ for something like this.”
“Hey, I still want to be classy.”
“You don’t have anything white in here you want to wear?”
I paused. “I feel like actually wearing white might make it seem…”
“Too real?”
I nodded. “Yeah.”
She smiled softly. “I really am proud of you, Kelly. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen you take charge of something other than your own fashion line.”
I turned to face my closet. “You know what, I think I still have that red dress. The strapless one? Remember that?”
“Oh, girl. Red on a wedding day. I’m all about it.”
As the two of us dug through my extensive closet, I tried to shove my thoughts off to the side. But I couldn't help but remember what might have been with Brenden and myself. I’d been harboring that crush on him for years now. Ever since I first met him. It was my freshman year in college. All that time, I had hoped and prayed that his eyes might finally turn my way. That he’d cast off his womanizing ways and finally see me for what I was: a girl who’s head over heels for him and wants nothing but to make him happy.