“So it’s for you?”
“It’s for posterity,” I said. When he lifted an eyebrow in question, I went on. “She’s turning ninety. And she’s kind of a fixture down here. Granny used to be really involved with the local community. She was a teacher and a principal and then a district administrator. Did you know that Granny used to be the President of the National Education Association?”
He shook his head. “That’s impressive.”
“But now … she’s not senile, not at all. It’s hard to pinpoint exactly …” I trailed off, thinking how to explain the eccentricities that I’d grown accustomed to. “But she’s just a complete individual at this point, and she doesn’t enjoy following society’s rules anymore. So I never know how she’ll behave around people.”
He made a small “hmm” that sounded like agreement or understanding.
“She might even refuse to come out once the party starts. She’s so wrapped up in Warcraft.” I already knew I would recruit Juliet’s huge bodyguards to go in and pick up her gaming chair and carry her out to the tent if that happened. One way or another, she was going to attend her party.
This made Ryan chuckle. “I’ve played that game. I see how it becomes addictive.” He took a fry from the basket the waitress delivered and ate it slowly. My eyes were drawn to the full lips as they moved, the motion of the strong jaw. My stomach flipped again. I liked him. I wanted him. But he was only here another couple days. Was I already in too deep?
“Actually, my dad is kind of like that,” Ryan said, snapping me back to reality. “He’s inappropriate around people now. But mostly, I think he’s angry.”
“I thought you ran away?”
“I did, but after things got easier for me, we connected again. He lives with me now. I moved him in a couple years ago, when he got lost driving one night. The police took him home and called me when they took away his license.”
“Is your dad sick?” I didn’t really know how to broach the topic of dementia. It wasn’t something people enjoyed talking about.
His mouth made a tight line and he looked down at his hands. “He’s mostly angry, I think. He hates relying on me, on anyone. But he’s gotten really frail and confused, and he can’t be totally on his own.”
I watched Ryan talk. Something soft moved through his eyes when he talked about his dad, and the angles of his face lessened, softened. He had a tender heart, I realized. He loved his dad, even though he’d run away from him. My own preconceived notions about this man loosened a bit.
“Do you and your dad get along now? Even though you left?”
“Things are never quite that easy, are they?”
I thought about that. My own childhood had been. At least up until Mom and Dad had died and Juliet had become … Juliet. “I guess not.” I sipped my drink, and when he didn’t say anything else, his gaze drawn to the birds dipping and crying over the dancing river, I let myself pry a bit. “Why’d you leave?”
He blew out a breath, tilting his head as his gaze met mine again. “I honestly didn’t think he’d notice. I was invisible at home. He was so busy with work. Mom had already left, so I knew I was invisible to her.”
I knew what it felt like to be invisible—but I’d never felt that way at home. Not with my parents and not with Gran. I couldn’t imagine not having at least one person on your side. “But he did notice when you left, didn’t he?”
“He looked for me. Says he did, anyway. When I got my first big role, he got hold of my agent on the phone.”
“Wow.” I imagined running away, making myself famous with no support at all. I guess in a way, that was what Juliet had done. I wondered if she felt invisible at home as Ryan had. I’d always figured she was just too big to live in a small town.
“And so… what happened then?”
“We had a few lunches. Eventually I took him to a movie premiere. When he couldn’t drive or live alone, he moved in with me. But I think he’s going to need more care soon.”
“Like a home?” I thought about Gran, about her fear of having to leave her house. Luckily, her health was good, but I knew it could change. Poor Ryan.
“Yeah. There’s a place that’s really nice. But it’s expensive.”
I might’ve gaped a bit. “But you’re a movie star.”
He laughed. “I guess so. But the place I’d like to be able to set up for dad is movie-star expensive.”
“That’s part of why you agreed to this thing with Juliet? The money?”
“Definitely. That’s most of it.”
“What’s the rest?”
Ryan dropped my eyes then, stared into his drink. “I guess part of me still wants to do well enough to feel seen. Does that make any sense? To feel good enough at something. Successful.”
I didn’t know what to say to that, so I just nodded, sipping my drink. How could a movie star feel invisible? I understood why I felt that way—I lived in Juliet’s shadow. But Ryan McDonnell was a legitimate movie star—people definitely saw him.
“I think maybe sometimes we don’t see ourselves very clearly,” I said, and it occurred to me I could have been talking about each of us.
He tilted his head, one side of his mouth lifting as he considered my words. And then he lifted his drink.
“To being in a completely new world,” he said. “With an amazing woman, who I see very clearly.” He raised his glass. I tapped my own to it and smiled. And as Ryan and I sat in the sun out over the water, drinking and laughing together like old friends—or new lovers—I realized that he wasn’t a movie star.
He wasn’t the guy who had inhabited my fantasies (and those of lots of other women in America). He was just a guy. A guy who loved his dad, who wasn’t sure where he was going. A guy who for now, anyway—was sitting here, having a drink with me and laughing in the sun.
I let myself relax and enjoy the attention, and that was probably when I accidentally fell a little bit in love with Ryan McDonnell.
Chapter Thirteen
Ryan
Water lapped around the pilings of the pier and the sun beat down on the wooden planks at our feet as I sat with Tess in a corner of a patio that felt more and more like a different world. Or maybe it was just that this was Tess’s world—and it was so far from what I’d grown accustomed to that it felt like I was on a different planet.
Though I was not Juliet famous anywhere, in Hollywood I was interesting enough to have to pay attention. Here, I was just a guy. And I was starting to really like it.
There were no photographers lurking around, no one waiting outside the front doors of the restaurant when we finally walked out and strolled down the boardwalk late that afternoon. There was no one staking out the car where I leaned Tess back and devoured her mouth and neck again before we actually got in. There were no flashes, no shouts, no jarring realization that I was visible to everyone in the world and somehow still even more invisible now that I was famous. They saw me—kind of, but it was like the real me faded away a little bit more with every single camera click, every flash. I had none of that to worry about here. There was just this beautiful day. This beautiful girl. And me. And for the first time in such a long time—I felt like someone really saw me.
“You’re quiet,” Tess said, as she navigated the car back toward Gran’s old plantation house.
I was stunned by the beauty of a place I’d never even thought about, a place I hadn’t known existed. And by the peace I felt here with Tess. “I’m just enjoying everything,” I told her, letting my hand rest on her knee as she guided us confidently home.
“Must be nice to get a break from the pressure of Hollywood,” she said. Her voice told me she knew what those pressures were—and why wouldn’t she? Her sister was one of the most celebrated actresses of our generation. “Or are you eager to get back? Now that your career is poised to take off?”
“It’s tempting to think about running away again,” I said honestly. “I had kind of forgotten places like this exist.” I didn’t wa
nt to go back to Hollywood—knowing this weekend would come to a close and my life would return to normal, or my version of normal at least, wasn’t a welcome thought.
“Backwoods towns where nothing ever happens, you mean?”
“Gorgeous untouched places full of amazing people,” I corrected, looking at her.
A smile flitted over her lips, but then they pressed into a straight firm line before she spoke again. “But your life is on the other coast, and you’ll go back in a day or so.”
Hearing her voice the reality made me wish desperately I could change it. “Right,” I said slowly.
Tess sighed and I watched her drive for a moment, a little vein in her neck pulsing and her forehead wrinkling and then smoothing as thoughts appeared to pass beneath it. I squeezed her knee, wishing I could see inside her mind, see what was causing her to look tense all of a sudden. She inhaled sharply at the contact and then pulled the car over to the shoulder and stopped, turning to face me.
“Look,” she said, her voice at once soft and steely. “I know this is probably a fun diversion for you, going to a place you’ve never heard of and wowing the locals. Watching the country girls swoon—that kind of thing.”
Shock formed a bright ball in the front of my mind. Is this what Tess thought? That this time with her was some diversion? I was shaking my head slowly. That was so completely not what this was.
“But this is my real life here, and I’m having a hard time figuring out where to place this. For you it’s a weekend trip. For me …” she trailed off and I wondered desperately what she’d been thinking. What she wouldn’t say.
“Hey,” I said, pulling her aviator shades from her face. “This isn’t just a distraction,” I told her. “I didn’t know I’d meet you. I didn’t plan this at all.” What else could I tell her, what could I say to make her see that she felt like so much more than a fling to me? “I didn’t expect any of this.”
“Any of what, exactly?”
“You,” I told her. “The attraction I feel for you. The … the feelings I’m having for you.”
“You just met me.”
I nodded. She was right, but the fact it was crazy didn’t make it less true. “And so you’re saying you don’t feel it too? You don’t feel anything for me?”
She watched me, and I saw a flicker of fear or uncertainty dance across her face for a brief moment. “I’m not sure it matters.”
I took her hands, made her face me fully. If she felt any bit of what I felt for her, I had to make her see that we had to explore it, give ourselves a chance. I felt like I was standing on the edge of something incredible—a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. And if I didn’t take it, I’d always regret it. “Yes, it does matter.”
She shook her head. “I’m just trying to be realistic, Ryan. I’m trying to protect myself. You’re a freakin’ movie star. Girls fall in love with you all the time, and if I become one of them, my heart will break when you leave, when you go back to California, pretending to be dating my sister …”
“Maybe we won’t do that now.” I said the words, knowing I had an ironclad contract. I doubted I could get out of it. And I didn’t want to hurt Juliet, as much as I wanted to be free to pursue Tess.
“What? Pretend?”
“Go back.” I don’t know what made me say it. I wanted to stay here. At least for a while. Maybe it was time for a break, for a vacation. For something new. Maybe my career was slipping because I had nothing to fuel it, nothing in my real life to lend to the characters I played. But still, I shouldn’t make promises I couldn’t keep.
She laughed, a sound that was sharp and disbelieving. “Right.”
“What if I stayed a little while?” I asked her. “What if I just stayed?” I threw this out there, knowing it was all but impossible. I had Juliet and Dad to think about. I had a movie to film—the one that was going to launch my career to the next level. What was I saying?
Tess sighed and pulled her hands from mine. “That’s the beauty of being a movie star, I guess. You can just pretend things for a while. You get paid to do it.”
My back straightened as the jab of her statement hit home. “What does that mean?”
“People don’t just decide to move like that, Ryan. And what about your career? And your dad?”
I did need to worry about Dad. They were holding a place at the retirement community for him, but I needed to come up with the down payment, and it was more than I’d put on my own home. “I hired a nurse to stay this weekend. I can ask her to stay longer.” But it wasn’t a solution. Not really.
Tess was looking at me, a strange expression on her face. Finally, something that looked like resignation replaced the skepticism I’d seen there. “You’re crazy,” she whispered. “People don’t do that.” She pulled the car back out onto the road and didn’t say anything else.
I didn’t know what to say, either. I’d already said a lot of things I’d never intended to. Crazy things. Who did that? Who met a girl one day, kissed her the next and then told her he was thinking of moving across the country for her just to see what it would be like? Crazy people. Surfer cavemen people, maybe.
“We can just pretend none of this happened if you want,” she said as we pulled back into the long drive in front of her house. “Just a fun day to remember. Nothing else.”
I hated that idea and it caused a visceral reaction, my stomach turning my muscles tensing. I frowned, wishing I could see her eyes behind the shades. “Is that what you want?”
She laughed, but it held no joy at all. “What I want? I just want to go back to my regular life where I know what’s going on and movie stars don’t pop in, kiss me, and then make wild proposals about moving to Maryland.”
“What if we went back to before I made a wild proposal, and just stayed at the kissing part?” A man could hope. Maybe if we took things more slowly, Tess would come around. I knew—because I’d been the one kissing her—that there was more here than she was willing to admit. If I could give her some time, I suspected she might be more willing to admit it.
She parked and turned off the engine, turning to look at me and finally pulling the shades from her eyes. “My sister might be good at pretending,” she said. “But I live in the real world. I like you, Ryan. I mean—I was kind of helpless in all this. I’ve been kind of in love with some image of you forever, so how could I not want to kiss the real thing?”
A thrill went through me at the thought of Tess being in love with any version of me. I was about to speak, my mouth eager to fill the void, to apologize some more for being rash, to convince her that I could back off. But she lifted a finger and I snapped my mouth shut.
“We could maybe go back to the kissing part,” she said. “But you can’t say things about moving, about staying. It’s too much, way too soon, and even though I know you’re insane and it would never really happen, I wouldn’t be able to keep myself from believing just a tiny bit that you might do it. And then, when you left …”
“I get it.” Her explanation was perfect, and it rekindled the hopeful desire that had been growing inside me. Her eyes were sad as she spoke, those full lips nearly pouting as she said the words, and I just wanted to pull her into my arms again. God help me, I wanted to bury myself in her and never come up for air.
“Okay, good.” She turned and got out of the car, and I realized my heart was racing. I took a deep breath and stepped out too, catching her hand before she could climb the steps to the house.
She turned and looked up at me, her eyes cloudy and dark. I traced my thumb over her full bottom lip, and she exhaled, her warm breath dancing over my skin. I leaned in slightly, careful and slow, not sure exactly where we stood now. But Tess didn’t back away, and as my lips brushed hers, all hesitation slid away. Whatever else we lacked—geographical convenience, similar lifestyles—we made up for in chemistry.
Our lips met and Tess’s tongue found mine, pieces of a puzzle that had been apart too long. She nipped at my bottom lip, pulling a
groan from somewhere deep inside me, and then somehow she was in my arms, and our bodies reached for one another. My mind was flying, my body warming and tightening, and I wondered if her intention was to have her way with me here in the driveway, because she was suddenly so driven. Her hands were pulling at my clothes and the most incredible little moans were coming from her mouth. I wanted to throw her down and take her right there on the ground.
As images of Tess in every compromising position I could imagine flew through my mind and my body began to take over, a sound came from the front porch, causing us both to freeze.
We turned our heads to find Granny standing just outside the front door, grinning, wearing a T-shirt with a picture of some kind of warlock or something that said “Max DPS” above it. The fire inside me was doused. Caught.
And Gran still thought I was dating Juliet.
“Oh God,” Tess moaned, stepping away from me. “Gran,” she said, as she stood up.
“Hello, kiddies,” Gran said, her voice full of glee. “Mr. McDonnell, you sure do get around. Tess, I thought this was Juliet’s boyfriend.” She turned the grin on me.
Shit, shit, shit. I was already failing both Manchester sisters. This would make things very difficult between Tess and Juliet, not to mention with Gran. And between Juliet and me. I looked at Tess, not sure how much to say.
“It’s kind of complicated, Gran,” she said. “I’m sorry we’re so late. Ready for dinner?”
Gran didn’t seem interested in moving inside quite yet. “Young man, I thought I warned you earlier … You don’t get to mess around with both my granddaughters.”
“No ma’am,” I said, “I would definitely never do that.” I was suddenly terrified of this tiny fierce woman, and could only imaging how scary she must have been as a school principal.
“Tell me this then. Since you’re Juliet’s boyfriend, am I wrong in assuming it was you I heard Juliet with in her room last night, then?” she asked, narrowing her eyes at me. “All that husky moaning?”
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