Holden's Resurrection (Gemini Group Book 6)

by Riley Edwards

  He wasn’t sure if Charleigh was praying for patience, fighting an eye roll, or planning to murder him as soon as Faith left the room. What he did know was, she was the picture of natural beauty. Further, he knew he was going to catch shit for making more promises to Faith. Which he intended to keep doing indefinitely. Each day, he’d make a new promise to stay until it was simply a given he wasn’t leaving.

  He needed to sort his Airstream and find a house to rent. A nice place with a yard for Faith. And a dog. Jameson had mentioned how much Faith loved Tank. It wasn’t beneath him to bribe Faith into wanting to live with him. Nothing was off-limits, he was willing to play as dirty as he needed to in order to win.

  “I’ll help you find some clothes.”

  Faith turned back to Holden, leaned forward, and kissed him on his cheek.

  “Thank you.”

  Faith skipped off, Charleigh stared down at him in horror, and Holden felt like his legs were going to give out as he stood.

  “That wasn’t cool, Holden, and you know it.”

  “You don’t win wars by being cool, Leigh-Leigh. You win them by pulling out all the stops.”

  “My daughter’s not a tool to use in this war.”

  “You’re right, baby, she’s not a tool. She’s the prize I’m gonna win. Her and her momma.”

  Charleigh shook her head and her eyes turned glossy.

  “She’s not a prize, either.”

  Without thinking, Holden stepped into Charleigh’s space, his hands went to cradle her cheeks, and he held her where he wanted her as he leaned in close.

  “Wrong. She’s the ultimate prize. You both are. The jackpot, the trophy, the medal, the windfall. The family I will go to war to earn, then once I have, I’ll spend the rest of my life protecting. There’s not going to be anything cool about it, or fair, or decent. I warned you last night, baby, but I see you didn’t prepare. I’m gonna wear you down by any means necessary. Together, we’re winning this. Together, we’re gonna finally find happy. Together, we’re gonna be whole so we can show Faith that when you love someone, you go the distance. I forgot that, baby, but mark this—I remembered.”

  Holden closed the small space between them and brushed his lips against Charleigh’s, the faintest graze that left him wanting more. “Now, go get your daughter ready for school and I’ll make coffee.”

  “Holden—”

  “Shh, Leigh-Leigh. If I wasn’t sure, I’d walk out that door. If I didn’t know you loved me down to the deepest part of your soul, I’d leave you be. If I didn’t know I was ready for Faith, I never would’ve made promises. I’m a dick, not a piece of shit. I’d never hurt that girl. And I’ll never leave you again.”

  Charleigh’s forehead wrinkled but she didn’t say a word, not in protest or in agreement. She simply walked away unconvinced.

  The last two hours had zipped past in a blur. Being as Holden didn’t have children, he had no idea the amount of effort it took to get one pint-sized human up and out the door. In the preceding hours, his respect for Charleigh had grown tremendously. Through all the wrangling, the directing, and finally corralling Faith out to the car, she hadn’t broken a sweat. Holden was impressed. Which had led him to think about his friend, Alec Hall, who quite literally had an infant daughter sprung on him without warning. He’d gone from a single man to a single father in a matter of days and Holden hadn’t seen him skip a beat. Sure, Alec had struggled a bit in the sleep department but he’d never heard the man complain. Nor had Alec thought twice about taking in a child he hadn’t known he helped create, until her mother had died, thrusting Alec and Joss together with only a letter explaining her conception.

  The point was, Holden was mentally tired from nothing more than driving Faith to school. He hated that Charleigh had performed the morning ritual on her own for the last eight years. Holden learned that morning that before Faith had started school, she’d gone to full-time daycare. He didn’t want to think about those early years when Faith needed to be dressed and fed in the mornings, meaning Charleigh would have to get up extra early to get Faith and herself ready. At least now for the most part Faith was self-sufficient. She could feed and dress herself, and she needed less coaxing to keep on task, though she still needed reminders about the time, and even that wore him out mentally.

  “You know this is ridiculous, right?” Charleigh complained, breaking the silence.

  Holden pulled into the parking lot behind Gemini Group’s office. Which, incidentally, was catty-corner from Charleigh’s old apartment. She might not know she wouldn’t be going back but he did, therefore, it was her old place. He’d find something more suitable for them all within the week.

  “Nope. I don’t see how spending the day with you is ridiculous.”

  “Seriously, Holden. Stop playing games. My apartment is right there. I have work to do.”

  He barely stopped himself from telling her she was never, not ever, stepping foot back into that apartment. She might think it wouldn’t bother her, but he knew differently. It had taken him months to be able to go back into the house where he’d been shot. He’d almost died that day and would’ve if Genevieve hadn’t stayed by his side quelling the blood flow.

  “I have a perfectly good office you can use. No one will bother you. After you talk to Jonny, if you need to go out, we’ll go.”

  “And I have a perfectly good apartment, right across the street.”

  Her attitude fed the loose hold he had on his temper. Holden was already on edge remembering the yellow tape the deputies had used to keep looky-loos from getting too close.

  “No, Leigh-Leigh, you have a crime scene. One you’re not going to be subjected to, and Faith sure as fuck will never step foot back in the place where she saw her momma bleeding on the floor.”

  “Holden,” she whispered and placed her hand on his forearm.

  “No, Leigh-Leigh, there’s nothing you can say that’s gonna make me be all right with you going over there. You might think you’re fine, but I guarantee, the second you open that front door and see those stairs it’s gonna hit you what happened there. You don’t need that, and Faith doesn’t ever need to feel that. We’re staying at Evie’s uncle’s house. We can use it for as long as we like. After that, we’ll figure it out.”

  “Right.” Charleigh pulled her hand away and placed it on her lap.

  The way she’d said “right” was like how most women said “fine”. Something was wrong and he didn’t think it was because he was acting like a protective caveman. If anything, Charleigh had softened when he’d mentioned not letting Faith back into the apartment.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing.”

  Translation: Everything, you big dummy.

  Holden knew her “nothings” like he knew she was best left undisturbed until she consumed enough caffeine to jack up an elephant.

  “Baby, you do know that in all the years we’ve been apart I haven’t forgotten one thing about you.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” she snapped again.

  “It means that back then, when you told me nothing it meant something. So something is wrong. If memory serves and I know it does because again, I remember every single thing about you, it would take me a minimum of fifteen minutes to pull it out of you. So, baby, save us some time and tell me what’s pissing you off.”

  “Nothing’s pissing me off.”

  Holden sighed and sat back, but didn’t bother turning off the engine. It was cold outside and without the heater running they’d be freezing their asses off within five minutes.

  “Why are we just sitting here?” she asked after a few moments.

  “Because likely whatever has pissed you off will require privacy while I sort you out.”

  “Sort me out?” Her eyes narrowed dangerously on Holden. “What’s that mean?”

  “Leigh-Leigh.”

  “My name is not an answer.”

  Well, at least she wasn’t bitching anymore about him using his nickna
me for her.

  “Tell me what’s wrong and I’ll explain what sorting you out means.”

  The woman was lucky she was cute as hell when she was being stubborn. If not, it would likely annoy the ever-loving shit out of him. And he knew unequivocally she wasn’t going to budge when she crossed her arms over her chest and settled back.

  So…guessing it is.

  “Are you pissed I don’t want you going to your apartment?”

  “No.”

  Holden wanted to laugh; by answering his question she’d essentially admitted she was pissed about something.

  “You mad I don’t want Faith there?”

  “No.”

  “Then you’re mad we’re staying at Evie’s.”

  Her pause told him that was closer to the mark.

  “I’m not mad, I’m just…confused as to why she’s letting us. She’s hated me since she picked her head up off Chasin’s shoulder in the hospital when your doctor came in to tell us you made it through surgery.”

  Shit.

  He’d fanned that hatred. Now he needed to fix it. But first, he needed to be honest with Charleigh.

  “I haven’t been right for a long time. Even before I was shot and you came to Kent County, I was pulling into myself. Everyone saw it but no one was talking to me about it. After my trip to Virginia when you went to court and the Towlers were giving you problems, I retreated completely. My head was so fucked-up I didn’t want to be around my friends. They’d all hooked up with great women, they were starting families, and I was wallowing in self-pity.”

  Holden fixed Charleigh in his gaze so she’d understand. “Evie and I are close. She doesn’t trust many people because she’s been burned so many times, but when you’re in, you have her absolute love and loyalty. That’s Evie. That’s my friend. And, I may have abused that friendship, now that I’m looking back.”

  This was the hard part—the way Charleigh looked at him after that statement told Holden to run. But, if he did that, if he stopped talking right now, he’d not only lose his Leigh-Leigh, he’d be betraying one of his best, most loyal friends. “After I heard you’d come to the hospital to visit me, or more to the point, after I heard you’d brought Faith with you, I had what amounts to a hissy fit. I lost it and Evie was there to listen as I broke down. As I said, she’s loyal. Without meaning to, the things I said turned her against you without her getting to know you.”

  He leaned toward her. “That’s gonna change, baby. First, I’m gonna talk to her, but more importantly, she’s gonna see me happy and she’ll change her mind. But just to say, Evie going all-out making sure you and Faith were set up with a safe place to live was her attempt at reaching out. She was there when I was shot. The first few times she went back to that house, she freaked the hell out, totally inconsolable. She didn’t want that for you or Faith. But I see how staying at what amounts to her family home is an issue. So this afternoon before we pick up Faith, we’ll move into a hotel. There’s one in town with an indoor pool. We’ll tell Faith we moved there so she can swim.” Holden paused and thought of something. “She can swim, right?”

  “She can,” Charleigh croaked.

  “Good. Then that’s what we’ll tell her.”

  Charleigh shook her head and quietly said, “We don’t have to leave.”

  “We do, baby. I’m not having you stay somewhere you’re not comfortable.”

  “It’s not that. I guess I’m still upset that when you were shot, I was in the waiting room worried out of my mind you were going to die, and she was sitting by your bed and I wasn’t allowed. Even when you were moved out of ICU, Genevieve made it clear you were to have no visitors.”

  Holden cringed. He’d done that, too.

  “That was me. I asked her not to let anyone in. I’m sorry, Leigh-Leigh. I’m being as honest as I can be. I tried everything I could to stop myself from loving you. I tried to hate you because it hurt so fucking bad to get through each day knowing I’d never be where I am right now. Baby, you’re hard to get over. Every day was a struggle. Like I said, I’ll talk to her. We’ll go to the hotel.”

  “Seriously, Holden, it’s fine.” She let out a deep breath before she gave him a wan smile. “You know me, always reacting before I think things through. Regardless of what she thinks of me, it’s really cool she’s letting us stay there. I should be thanking her, not shoving her kindness in her face. And us leaving would make me petty and mean. I’m neither of those things. But thank you.”

  Christ.

  Had they’d done it?

  Had they navigated their way through that minefield and come out with all their limbs intact?

  Thank Christ, they had.

  And she wasn’t angling to get him out of the house.

  “I’d do anything for you, Leigh-Leigh. Anything. If you change your mind just say the word and we’ll go.”

  Holden drank in the sight of her sitting next to him. He hadn’t lied when he said he never thought he’d ever be close to her again—not physically and certainly not emotionally—yet there he was, staring at her and planning a future he never thought he’d have. One with her and Faith.

  It had only been a few days since an unexplainable switch flipped. Perhaps it was seeing her bloody and unconscious. Maybe it was Faith being in danger. Or maybe he finally grew a pair of balls and manned up. Whatever the cause of his epiphany, he wasn’t letting her go this time.

  On that thought, he tagged her around the back of the neck and pulled her face to his. This time when he brushed his lips against hers, he let them linger. Not a real kiss, but a promise.

  Holden slowly let her go, enjoying the low-grade burn. He’d keep fanning the spark until she caught fire. It would happen and soon, all he had to do was be patient and coax her into remembering how good they were together.

  Hell, yes, I’m gonna win.

  21

  I was either the stupidest person alive or the smartest. There would be no in-between. Bliss or bane. Those were the only two outcomes.

  In under twenty-four hours, I’d allowed Holden under my skin. Not that I’d ever fully worked him out, but sometime in the middle of the night as I lay in bed next to Faith, I questioned my motives. Why was I really pushing Holden away after pining after him for so long? My daughter was a consideration, a big one, the most important one. But the truth was I was using her as a crutch to forestall possible heartbreak. I’d survived Holden’s rejection once, but I didn’t think I’d survive a second go-round.

  I’d been on the fence when I’d woken up. Then seeing Holden interact with Faith pushed me close to the ledge. When we were in his car talking about Genevieve and why I was uncomfortable staying at her uncle’s house, he’d quickly come up with a solution. It wasn’t the solution that made me stop waffling. It was his honesty. He’d been uncomfortable admitting he’d spoken badly about me to Genevieve, yet he came clean and took responsibility. Maybe I should’ve been mad he’d made me out to be the bad guy, but I wasn’t. I was happy he had close friends who were loyal to him. They’d stuck by him, unlike all of mine who’d deserted me as fast as they could. I was grateful to Genevieve for saving his life, then sitting vigil by his bed as he recovered. I’d wanted to be the one he’d opened his eyes to, but I understood why it had been her.

  I glanced over at Holden as he walked us into the breezeway from the parking lot to the front of the office. And make no mistake, he was walking us. As soon as we exited his truck, his hand wrapped around mine and he led the way. There was something comforting about him being in control. It was silly, but now that I’d decided to take a flying leap off that fence I’d been teetering on, I was going to allow myself to relish in all things Holden. The nuances that made him the man he was. Like holding my hand and taking control of something as small as walking us through a parking lot while he scanned the area for hidden dangers. Something he’d always done. I was safe and well-loved when I was with Holden.

  This was it, no more wavering. No more vacillating or making
excuses. If Holden was going to fight to fix what had broken between us, I wasn’t going to stand in his way. But I wouldn’t be telling him that. There was a lot he needed to prove to me. A lot of it had to do with Faith and some of it had to do with him telling me he didn’t want kids. That was a problem. I wanted more. It wasn’t a deal breaker and I needed to tread carefully considering he was the one who couldn’t have them. But the truth was he would need compelling reasons for me to give up wanting siblings for Faith. And being scared wasn’t a good enough excuse. Neither was wanting to protect me which is what got us into this heartbreaking situation in the first place. He had to trust we were strong enough to get through anything, even the possible devastation of being given a baby only to have him or her taken away. He had to believe down to his soul we could get through anything, as long as we had each other.

  “What’s wrong?” Holden asked.

  “Nothing.”

  “Then why are you looking at me like I have a booger on my face?”

  My face heated at the unladylike snort that slipped past my lips.

  “Damn, I missed that sound,” Holden muttered.

  “What sound? Me sounding like a pig?”

  “No, baby, the sound of you amused.”

  My mouth clapped shut and tears stung my eyes.

  “Don’t be sweet before I have to face Jonny,” I commanded.

  Holden’s head tilted slightly as he dipped his chin, and a hank of his unruly in-need-of-a-haircut hair fell on his forehead. My hand itched to brush it aside. I wondered if it was as soft as it looked. When we were together he was still in the military, and even though he was a SEAL and in some assault teams it was standard practice for them to grow out their hair and beards, Holden’s team wasn’t one of them. He’d always worn his in military standards, meaning close-cropped. There was never enough for me to run my fingers through it, or grab a handful when his head was between my legs.

  “What are you thinking about?”

  “How you’ve grown your hair out.”