“Because winning is all that matters in the jungle,” he rumbled, hands tensing where they sat on his thigh.
Mom shifted in her sleep and we both stilled. She rolled over and her breathing went back to normal. For a moment, things felt almost painfully mundane. Like I was a kid with my hand in the cookie jar, trying not to get caught.
Although in this case, the cookie jar was a giant outlaw sculpted from stone with a face that would make a photographer weep. The consequences were also a bit steeper these days than being sent to my room or banned from sweets. As far as illusions went, it was one of the nicer ones I had ever found myself in the midst of.
Since he didn’t seem eager to share, I said, “Is there ever more to it than that? Even in the ring, winning was all people cared about. It never mattered how dirty I fought or how much of a bitch I was to every single person I met as long as I kept winning.”
Monster turned towards me. Without a light source, his eyes were the deep blue of a bottomless ocean, and something swam in those depths that would consume me if I let it.
Instinct told me to leave, right this moment.
I already knew what it would take. A single scream would terrify the woman I never wanted to hurt in any way, shape, or form. It would also bring the orderlies running. Monster might fight them, but I didn’t believe he would really injure those who took care of others.
Call it a hunch.
Once they distracted him, I could sneak out the side exit and disappear long enough to collect the last bit of money I’d stashed away. As soon as I knew he wasn’t looking for me, and that the Russians weren’t on my trail, I would boost a car, come back for Mom, and we would be gone.
The scenario was so real in my head my lungs expanded, preparing to unleash a wail that would make any horror movie actress proud.
Then Monster said, “The difference is, you were alone,” and my body deflated like a punctured balloon.
His hand fell to my knee. He didn’t knead or massage or do much of anything other than stare at it for a moment. “Even though my role until now was to remain separate from the Sinners as much as possible, I’ve never once doubted that they would have my back.”
“What do you mean?” The warmth from his palm soothed an ache in my bones I hadn’t realized was there. Or maybe he was devouring the ache, the same way he continued to tear down the distance I needed to keep between us one action at a time. “Aren’t you tight with the rest of them?”
He shook his head and my fingers tingled with an urge to sweep through the silky strands. Now that we weren’t fucking, that action seemed way too intimate.
“I've never met any of the others,” he admitted. “Creed recruited me personally and made me a full member when he did.”
“Creed?” I echoed. “Covered in tattoos, might breathe fire, has a reputation for literally putting heads on spikes? That Creed?”
His lips twitched. “You sound surprised. I'm not sure if I should be offended.”
My lips pursed. “I'm not sure having the stamp of approval from the state's most notorious bad guy should be a point of pride.”
His smirk was as infuriating as always. “You tallying up points in my favor now, pussycat? Careful. I might start thinking you actually like me.”
I turned my head so he wouldn't see my blush. “Don't change the subject.” I folded my arms over my chest, staring at the generic painting of a ranch on the wall like it was the most interesting sight ever. “What does that say about you if a heartless murderer likes you on the spot?”
His voice cooled. “You're taking his reputation a little far, seeing as how you've never met the man.”
“I've never met the devil either. That wouldn't stop me from being concerned if he popped in one day and gave me a thumbs up.”
“You don't understand.”
Is he seriously defending that asshole? Aggravation made my skin too tight, and it was hard to keep my voice down.
“Do you have to drink special cult-juice before you're allowed into your little boy's club? You didn't strike me as the type to fall in line. He's killed innocent people.”
Monster's head whipped towards me, that big body going tense. His stare burned into the side of my face—a supernova filtered through a magnifying glass.
“You've seen him kill someone innocent with your own two eyes?” His voice was the crack of a whip lashing against my senses.
“Well...no. But—”
“So you're just a fool that believes anything people say?”
“Fuck you, Monster.”
“Been there, done that. Try again.”
My hand struck out towards his face before I really thought about it.
Because that's what I was used to.
Hurting the people who hurt me.
Monster caught my clumsy blow with ease, eyes sparking with the same madness I'd seen when he took on the Ex-Vipers. Having the brunt of it turned on me was no joke. His nostrils flared and the breath in my lungs stalled.
This time, he didn't even try to be gentle.
He crushed my hand in his, bones grinding together painfully. I squirmed as the pressure increased little by little. Those blazing eyes took me in steadily, waiting on a surrender that wasn't coming.
I'd had worse than this during my stints on the street.
His upper lip peeled back from his teeth. “Stop trying to be so goddamn tough and tell me to stop.”
“Never,” I hissed, getting right in his face. “You might be scary, but you don't have what it takes to break me, big man.”
He dropped my hand like I’d burned him. The pain retreated into the background. Faster than it should've been possible, Monster was on his feet, glaring down at me.
His fists trembled. If he was anyone else, I would've been worried he was about to try and jump me. Especially with that angry glare. But as he stepped backward and away, I swear I saw a shadow of something else on his features.
Something...wounded.
Then Monster raked his hands angrily through his hair and the moment was gone.
“I might still end up putting a muzzle on you,” he said, jaw jumping. “You should know that the man you're so eager to talk shit about is the only reason I'm alive.”
“What—”
But the question I wanted to ask fell on deaf ears.
He turned on his heels and started to stomp away. His first step echoed loudly, and he went stiff, glancing over his shoulder. I folded my arms across my chest, ready for round two even though my ears still rang from the blow of his last comment.
Creed saved Monster's life. Does that mean he saved me in a roundabout way?
Then I realized what he was scanning the darkness for. The fight went out of me, replaced by a pinch in my gut and innocent wonder that painted rainbows across my black heart.
He was making sure he hadn't woken up a woman he didn't even know.
I glanced towards her still-sleeping shape, and when I looked back, he was gone. If not for the crisp smell of him lingering in the air, it would've been like he was never there to begin with.
My ears strained to hear if he was lingering in the hall or walking away, completely done with me. Not knowing for sure had me picking nervously at my fingernails. Except why did I care?
Wasn't this what I wanted?
To be left alone?
Not like this.
I jumped to my feet before I could second-guess myself. Leaning over the bed, I gently kissed Mom’s cheek.
“You would've told me he was bad news,” I whispered. “And you would've been right. But if this is a dream, if he's nothing but a figment of my imagination, I need one more night to pretend. One more night before reality rips everything away again.”
Mom didn't answer, obviously. She was asleep. And even awake, I would've just been some random woman rambling about things she didn't understand.
Either way, when I darted out of the room, I felt like I had her blessing.
My heart didn’t
leave my throat as I strolled the halls.
Would I catch up to him in time? What was I going to say if I did?
Sorry you owe your life to a psycho. Looks like I do too?
Grab me like that again and I'll do worse to your balls than knee them?
Fuck me so hard I forget how depressingly painful my life is?
Before I could choose a response, I turned a corner and the fidgeting receptionist latched onto my progress like I was a lifeline cast into freezing water. Relief had the knot in my shoulders loosening. He was still here.
No one else could be making her look so nervous.
When I stepped into the lobby, it was plain to see why she was so spooked. Monster was perched in a chair in the corner, hands white-knuckling the armrests on either side. Whether he had planned it, or the universe was working along with his emotions, the lights above his head flickered on and off as if struggling to keep the blackness of his mood at bay.
He stood when he saw me, looming there with the sort of intensity previously confined to earthquakes and other natural disasters. From across the room, my body buzzed with awareness.
This man could destroy me.
The rage darkening his eyes said he might just enjoy it.
Yet my feet still carried me towards him, and I stopped with our toes almost touching.
Close enough for him to reach out and punish.
Close enough for him to break.
Monster only stared. “Are we done here?”
I nodded.
“Then get your ass back to the fucking bike,” he said, casting one last look around before stalking off.
I started after him without complaint, eager to play with the fire he was tossing around, knowing good and full well it might burn me beyond recognition. A low whisper stopped me.
“Should I call someone?” the receptionist asked. She leaned over her desk, eyes imploring. “We can get you away from him.”
I almost laughed. The sincerity on her face helped me hold it in. “He's nothing I can't handle,” I lied.
What was I going to tell her? The truth? Fat chance.
Besides, no one could save me but me.
That was the way it had always been.
So, I followed Monster into the night. Found him astride his cherry-red machine, looking like the god of war dropped into the modern day. Climbed on behind him and wrapped my arms around his waist.
Then I did something I hadn't done in a long time.
I closed my eyes and said a prayer.
That I might be able to find the pieces of me he left in his wake.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Josie
Monster drove back to his house at the same breakneck pace from earlier. Somehow, the ride was even more perilous. He took his anger out on the road at every sharp corner, cutting so hard I thought for sure I would leave patches of my knee on the pavement.
A car pulled out from a side street while we were doing triple digits. I closed my eyes, wondering if I was ever going to open them again. Monster weaved with ease, and a horn blew behind us before he was accelerating again. My heart raced at the near-miss, and I considered pounding a fist into his back before I thought better of it.
I held him tight as I could for a reason.
Letting go seemed like a completely awful idea.
Soon enough, we passed through the wrought-iron gates of his property and wound our way around the hill leading to the peak. He didn’t slow down until the garage was opening ahead of us. Even then, his tires squealed as he flew inside and came to an abrupt stop.
Despite the weakness in my knees, I was already off the bike and striding away when he caught my arm in his grip, squeezing tight.
Here it comes, I thought as he turned me around to face him.
The angry driving was going to lead to angry fucking, and I was so completely on board with that it wasn’t even funny.
Playing along and poking at the monster—no pun intended—I jerked out of his grip and cocked my hip, giving him the evil eye. “Remind me to never ride with you again. If you want to get us both killed, I’m pretty sure there are easier ways to make it happen.”
Monster said nothing.
He stepped closer, that same violent energy still crackling around him and arcing into me. My body was overly aware of everything he’d already proven himself capable of. I was also in desperate need of a repeat to banish the way this day had turned out.
Nothing ended the night on a better note than having a stupid hot man with a huge dick blow your back out until the rest of the world seemed meaningless.
He kept stalking towards me, the only sign that he wasn’t some stone golem brought to life being the fog of his breath in the air. Monster hadn’t magically materialized any clothes since the garage closed behind us. So how he managed to look unfazed now made no sense to me.
But he was pulling it off.
Still doing his best impersonation of a beast on the hunt, Monster dipped down and hauled me into his arms. An actual honest-to-God princess carry. I would’ve taken him as more of a throw his woman over his shoulder kind of guy.
Then again, he did have a habit of surprising me most—
Wait.
His woman?
Where in the flying monkey butts had that come from?
And why was I letting him carry me like this in the first place?
Except I knew, even if I wanted to deny it. This felt...good. Safe. Relaxing in a way I wasn’t sure I’d ever known.
My head rested against his firm chest and the day caught up to me all at once, making my lashes flutter closed. He climbed the stairs and barely jostled me. I was dimly aware of him taking a left instead of a right at the top of the landing and I tried to stir myself awake.
This wasn’t the direction of the room he was letting me use. That could only mean the hate fuck was still part of tonight’s regularly scheduled programming. I needed to get my head back in the game and my fighting spirit burning if I was going to keep up with what he would dish out.
Monster strolled into a huge bedroom, and Lord forgive me but the first thing I noticed was the mahogany dresser in the corner. And not just because the dark wood was glossy and shiny. Sparking in the light was a glass display case filled with row upon row of expensive watches.
“Seriously?” I asked before I could consider all the trouble my mouth had gotten me in already. “Do you even wear watches?”
Monster deposited me on soft gray sheets and calmly stripped out of his shirt like the sight of his bare chest flexing in the low light didn’t deserve a musical introduction.
He could probably stop a bullet with muscles like that. Even though I would kill him if he tried.
Monster rolled his shoulders, loosening himself up. For what, I didn’t know. I did have a feeling I wasn’t going to have to wait long to find out. Content to watch him, I scooted towards the middle of the bed and tucked my feet under me.
He looked over at the massive collection that took up most of the wall. When he faced me again, there was something unreadable lurking in the shadows of his gaze.
“You’re not the only one who knows what it’s like to have nothing,” he said. “Our circumstances might be different, but there was a time where our lives were incredibly similar. I went from place to place, breaking everything I couldn’t bend and bending everything I couldn’t break. I earned respect, fear, and more than my fair share of hatred from the people who got in my way. But none of those things provided the stability I was looking for.”
I cocked my head to the side. “I haven’t heard anything about this. If you’re not from here...then where?”
He ditched his boots and shorts next, leaving him in nothing but a pair of black boxer briefs that hugged powerful thighs. “Does it matter?”
Monster climbed onto the bed, muscles rolling and shifting like a deadly panther that belonged in the jungle instead of the bedroom. Yet for all the half-mad, half-I’m going to fuck your brains out int
ensity, he was surprisingly careful as he came closer to me.
The hand that caught the back of my neck and laid me down was so gentle and soothing I nearly forgot he’d asked me a question.
I licked my lips and his heavy gaze stalked the action, blue eyes flaring bright. “You were in prison, weren’t you?”
Monster’s attention had dipped to the rise and fall of my breasts. But he quickly snapped his eyes up to mine, blonde brows drawing together. He said nothing for a long moment. I quietly watched the muscle in his jaw jump and pulse.
At least until I couldn’t take it anymore.
What? Patience and I aren’t anywhere close to being besties.
“I’m right, aren’t I?” The grin that curved my lips made that scary pressure he was throwing off increase. He swelled above me until the room was too small to hold him. That didn’t stop me. “How long? What for?”
“What do you think?” he snapped, grabbing my shirt and ripping it straight down the middle.
Since I hadn’t bothered to put a bra back on, my breasts sprang free. His hands found them quickly, rough palms grazing across nipples already hard and aching for his touch.
I sucked in a sharp breath, trying to keep my brain on the same train of thought.
He wasn’t making this an easy task. Which I gathered was probably the point.
Biting into my tongue to maintain a fragment of focus, I said, “Who did you kill?”
Monster growled low in his throat, pinching one of my nipples between his fingers. I cried out, back arching off the bed. My hands found purchase on his huge shoulders and held on.
“Your pillow talk fucking sucks,” he said.
Despite how hard it was to look tough while I was panting and close to begging him to keep undressing me, I rolled my eyes. “And you should know by now that I don’t have any tact. Evasion bullshit doesn’t work on me, big man.”
He flashed his teeth, climbing down my body until his chin was on my sternum. I had to bend my neck awkwardly to look down at him, but I wasn’t willing to let him out of my sight either.
Being aware of what he was doing was the only chance I had of somehow keeping this game we were playing even.
Monster: A Seven Sinners Novel Page 16