by Sommer Smith
“She’ll still be under protection, probably most of her life, just because of who her grandfather is. And who her father is, of course. Ideally, though, we will soon put an end to both gangs’ existence. That is the ultimate plan.”
“But who will take care of her? How do you know her mother will come around? Do you trust Senator Reid to care for a baby?” She spewed the questions without waiting for a reply.
“Lauren, listen to yourself. You have to let that go. You aren’t her mother. Her family has the right to decide who will take care of her, and it’s up to them, not us. You’re going to have to let her go eventually.”
He hated to speak to her so bluntly, but she needed to start realizing it. Lily was someone else’s child. Lauren seemed to have forgotten that.
However, the devastated expression she wore was more than he could take. He folded her into his arms, drawing her close against his chest. He breathed in her sweet scent and felt her shuddering breaths. Her fight for self-control was unhinging him.
He eased away from her just slightly, giving her a tender smile. “You’re tough. You can do this.”
She shook her head. “Why did you have to drag me into this, Grayson Thorpe? I’ll never forgive you.”
He frowned and laid a hand on her cheek. “I know. I’m sorry.”
As he looked into her luminous eyes, something snapped within him, like a band that pulled him away from her, then released him to connect with her. She stared back at him. Had she felt it, too?
He didn’t wait to find out. He leaned in close, their faces only inches apart. “I’m not sorry for this, though.”
When he knew she read his intentions correctly and didn’t protest, he bent his head to her, touching her lips with his, gently at first, but then with more intensity. It was worse than he had expected—the tenderness he had imagined he would feel when he finally kissed her. He had been thinking about it for far too long. He eased back slowly, trying to read her eyes as he did so. They looked as lost in wonder as he felt.
She still looked stunned, but he turned and walked away from her anyway.
Why had he given in to that need to kiss her? He shouldn’t have done it. He had to put some distance between them while he still could.
TEN
Lauren was in shock.
Had Grayson really just kissed her? Here she was, just wanting to hate him for not caring more about her and Lily, and he had to go and kiss her so tenderly she thought she might evaporate and float away. This was getting far too complicated. He was gaining far too much control over her for her peace of mind. She wanted to be near him, to know him better. She hadn’t been able to resist falling for him. It had to stop.
Maybe it was a good thing this case was about to be finished. As unappealing as the idea of going home was to her right now, it was probably for the best. She had to get out soon, because his kiss had made her realize something. It was undeniable, really.
She was falling for Grayson Thorpe.
Wasn’t it bad enough she had grown attached to Lily? Now Grayson had an emotional hold on her. It was all too much.
She was still standing there with her fingers against her lips when Shayla stuck her head back into the cabin. “Everything okay?”
Lauren nodded, too enthusiastically. “Yeah. Yeah. Just fine.” She sounded silly, too.
She grabbed the baby’s bag and followed Shayla off the plane, but not before she noticed the marshal eyeing her. A flush crept up Lauren’s neck. Did Shayla know what had just transpired? No, that was ridiculous. Grayson wouldn’t kiss and tell.
The expression made her blush anew. Now she was just being goofy.
Grayson didn’t speak to her the entire time they were driving to the new safe house. He didn’t look at her, either. Was he having regrets? And if he was, were they for kissing her or for the plan they had concocted?
Either way, she felt no sympathy for him.
The new house was nestled in the hills in the outskirts of Austin. Lauren was surprised at the terrain, expecting Texas to look more like a desert with some tumbleweeds and red plateaus. When she said so, Shayla giggled.
“Texas is big. There’re all kinds of different terrain, depending on where you go in the state. Lush pastures, scruffy deserts, hill country, cities, beaches... It’s like a whole country of its own down here.” Shayla flung her arms out, waving them as if to take in the grand landscape.
Lauren nodded, feeling a little sheltered. “I really would like to travel more.”
“Why haven’t you?” Grayson asked the question as they climbed into the waiting car.
She turned to look at him. “Oh, you know, the usual reasons. No time, family commitments, working for my career goals...”
“I’m sure your sister and mother both would love to take a trip or two when she’s feeling up to it. There are some memories worth making.” His expression was pretty blank, but she was warmed by the things he said. He hadn’t forgotten what she had told him about her family, but he also tried to encourage her to make the most of it.
“You’re right. Maybe I can look into that and plan something during my vacation time. It might be a while before I get any time off after this, though.” She thought of how her supervisor was likely to respond to her continuing absence, not seeing the landscape as it passed by her window.
“You might be surprised. It wasn’t your choice that Dr. Covington sent you along. And I’m sure she’ll vouch for you, as well.” Grayson navigated the road without looking in her direction this time.
It was only a short drive, and soon they were getting out at a house in a quiet neighborhood. Shayla had taken Lily again, and while Lauren knew she needed to distance herself from the baby, as well, a part of her wanted to spend every single second with Lily that she could.
“Grayson.” She said his name softly, but it must have been unexpected, because he looked a little thunderstruck when she faced him. He just waited, though.
“What if this doesn’t work?”
His brow furrowed. “What do you mean?”
Surely he had considered the possibility. “If Romine doesn’t show up, are you still going to just send me home? Lily still needs someone to take care of her.” Her voice wavered. She wasn’t sure how to ask the questions that burned within her. Was this it? Was she really about to head home and never see Lily again? Was he just going to wave goodbye and never see her again, even after that kiss?
He didn’t answer right away. When he did, there was a deep sigh first. She wasn’t sure what to make of that, so she tried to focus on his words.
“I don’t really know yet. We will have to decide that when the time comes.” He didn’t look at her. Rather, he tried to look everywhere but into her face. Did he know what she was really wondering?
Lauren didn’t know what else to say, so she just ducked into the house.
“Lauren.”
The sound of her name on his lips stopped her where she stood.
“I—I will figure something out. I need—”
“Grayson.” Cole called his name from the hallway, interrupting whatever he was about to say.
“We will talk later, okay?” And then he was gone.
Lauren felt empty when he left. Shayla was changing Lily’s diaper and talking to her in silly baby talk. She couldn’t even fully enjoy the sweet moment for the ache filling her chest. She wasn’t supposed to feel this way. She wasn’t supposed to become attached.
“Do you wanna talk about it?” Shayla’s voice penetrated the fog of thoughts clouding her mind.
“No. Yes. I don’t know, honestly.” Lauren sat almost robotically. “How am I going to let this sweet little one go?”
Shayla offered her a soft smile. “I know this is difficult, Lauren, and I’m sorry. It’s the nature of our job as marshals, but it doesn’t mean we like it. And maybe you’ll
see her again someday.”
“What do you mean I might see her again someday?” Lauren tried not to let hope swell within her.
“I mean... I don’t know. Maybe I shouldn’t have said that. I just know that sometimes things work out differently than we expect. But, also, is it really just Lily you’re worried about?”
Lauren couldn’t keep the shock from her face. “Do you mean...?” She glanced down the short hallway of the cottage-style house to where Grayson had disappeared.
“Yes, I mean Grayson.” Shayla blurted it out in a stage whisper. “I’ve seen the way you two look at each other.”
“What, is it like how you and Cole look at each other?” Lauren meant the remark to be teasing, but Shayla stiffened.
“That isn’t funny. I would never want to have a relationship with someone as straitlaced and serious as Cole.”
“I’m sorry, Shayla. I—” Lauren didn’t have a chance to finish because Cole walked into the room at that moment.
“No one with any sense would want to be in a relationship with anyone as flighty and irresponsible as you, either, Shayla. So save your insults.” Cole looked angry but sounded calm.
Lauren felt the awkwardness of being in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Shayla stood there stoically for a moment, then just turned and strode over to hand Lily off to Lauren. Without a word, she walked out of the house and didn’t look back.
Lauren couldn’t get any words out, just stared at Cole, then at Lily, then back at Cole again.
“Well, don’t look at me that way. I didn’t mean it.” Cole frowned at her.
“Why are you telling me? She’s the one who needs to hear that.” Lauren actually grinned at him. She kind of knew how he felt. She couldn’t quite say the right things to Grayson, either.
* * *
Grayson couldn’t stop pacing.
He needed to find a way to keep Lauren around for a little while longer. No, what he needed to do was to send her home and end this. Then maybe he would get over his feelings for her. That was right. He could admit it. He had feelings for her. But that didn’t mean he had to do anything about it. In fact, it probably meant quite the opposite. It meant he should protect her from him and his toxic emotions. After all, he couldn’t even help his mother. Why would a woman as wonderful as Lauren want him in her life? Maybe she thought she did now, but eventually she would see what his mother had. The Thorpe men just weren’t enough to give a woman a happy life.
He would have enough grace to keep her from having to tell him that someday.
He knew Cole and Shayla were fighting, and he knew Lily was fussy from the lingering fever, but he couldn’t face Lauren and her questions. She might not have been able to get the words out, but he had read the questions in her eyes. Was this it for them? Did he ever want to see her again?
Of course he did, but he just couldn’t. Couldn’t she see that?
His chest ached at the realization that came to him in that moment. He couldn’t stand the thought of never seeing her again. He wanted to kick himself for letting this happen, but he couldn’t help it. He knew the truth.
He had fallen in love with Lauren.
How was a man supposed to tell a woman he loved that he was no good for her? That he would never be enough?
His ego wouldn’t allow it. So he would just have to drive her away. He didn’t want to, but he cared too much for her to let her believe a relationship might ever work.
He hid out until it was time to prepare for their rendezvous with Senator Reid. They planned to meet in a quiet park, where there wouldn’t be a lot of other people milling around this late in the evening, just in case Romine’s people decided to do something stupid again. There would be plenty of extra security present if Romine happened to make it to their meeting place unhindered.
But he expected Romine to act before then.
Since nothing they had done was secret so far, Grayson was sure the kidnappers would be ready for them. It was just a matter of putting the plan in motion.
The clock kept moving and he couldn’t put it off any longer. He still had no idea how to help Lauren through this. She was strong enough, but if she broke down saying goodbye to Lily, he didn’t know what he would do.
He stuck his head around the corner and saw her holding Lily and saying little noises at her. The baby cooed back and made little faces at Lauren, from toothless grins to round-mouthed Os with wide blue eyes watching Lauren’s face. It was amazing how much Lily was already capable of. He had decided Lauren was probably right—if the baby had been premature, it wasn’t by as much as the hospital thought.
Lauren smiled at Lily with dramatic head shakes and silly words, unaware that Grayson was watching. His heart clutched just watching them.
How was he supposed to do this? He might need more help than he’d thought.
She looked up and noticed him there, and her expression sobered.
“Lauren, I know I said we would talk. I have to meet Senator Reid in forty-five minutes.” He hated the way she flinched at his words. He wasn’t sure if it was because his tone sounded harsh or just because she hated what she knew was about to happen.
“I guess it isn’t up to me.” Lauren’s voice turned businesslike. “I have all of her things together. I wrote out specific instructions about her medicine and treatments, and the phone number for the pediatrician who last saw her. I can answer any questions—”
“Shayla is taking her to a new safe house. Without you. As soon as it’s safe to do so, I will be flying you home.” When he interrupted her, he was met with stunned silence.
“I just think it’s for the best. I’ll have it look like Shayla is going with me, and Cole will stay here with you. Once it’s safe—”
“How can you do this?”
He was shocked almost as much by her assertiveness as he was by her calm tone. “It isn’t personal. I just think it’s best for all of us. You can say your goodbyes to Lily here. And if things go wrong, Shayla is a trained law enforcement officer. She will know what to do.”
Lauren just stared at him, not bothering to keep the hurt and anger from her face now.
“You’ll be safer here. I expect Romine to try to intercept us before we get to Senator Reid.”
“I see.”
“Lauren, please try to understand.”
“I do. I understand.”
He didn’t know how to react to her cool response. He had expected passion and fury, not this cold acceptance. He knew it meant she was hurt and so angry with him that she wouldn’t even argue. He tried to make her.
“You aren’t even going to fight me on this? I thought you’d have your teeth bared and your dukes up at the idea of me separating you from Lily.”
She turned her back to him. “It’s like you said. She isn’t mine. I have no choice but to let her go.”
He strode over to her and turned her around to face him. Despite her even tone, tears streamed down her cheeks.
He spoke her name and tried to take her into his arms, but she pushed him away.
“I’m in no state to accept comfort from you, Marshal Thorpe. I can’t talk to you about this. Just do your job.” She turned her back again, and this time he left her alone.
“I’m truly sorry, Lauren.”
She didn’t answer, just stood there looking out the window while he and Shayla gathered all of Lily’s things and loaded the baby, carrier and all, into the SUV. He considered trying again just before walking out, but her rigid stance proved to be insurmountable.
His throat closed up as he pulled the door shut behind him.
* * *
Lauren almost didn’t last until he was out of sight before the flood of tears released. She couldn’t remember when she had ever hurt so much. She couldn’t even draw in a breath. It just made her chest seize with unbearable pain
again.
She knew it was foolish. She had known all along that this was all just temporary. Her head knew, but her heart was stubborn. In her heart, she and Grayson and Lily were already a family. Somewhere along the way, she had allowed the fairy tale to become a reality.
And the fact that Grayson had left her behind this time made it so much worse. What if they lost the instructions for Lily’s medications and breathing treatments? What if she got worse and Shayla waited too long to get her to the hospital? What if Senator Reid ended up with custody and she was raised, for the rest of her life, by hired people who didn’t truly love her like Lauren did?
What if Lauren never got over loving her?
She could ask herself what-ifs all night long—there was nothing she could do about any of it. So she prayed. She prayed and cried.
When she finally dried her eyes, she went to find a glass of water.
She was surprised she hadn’t seen or heard anything from Cole, but she supposed he was giving her some space, since he wasn’t particularly fond of emotional displays of any kind.
The sky had grown dark and the only sounds were of evening insects trilling out their songs. Lauren felt alone and unsettled. She had to search a bit in the unfamiliar kitchen to find a glass. When she finally did, she took it to the fridge to fill it, and a shadow fell across the kitchen floor. A shiver crept up her spine, although she told herself it was probably just Cole. She was being silly.
But when she turned, the cold nose of a pistol met her at close range. She followed it up an arm to the icy eyes of the ruthless Arnie Romine himself.
She opened her mouth, but he shook his head ruefully. “Go ahead and scream. There’s no one to hear.”
When he gestured to the back patio just beyond the kitchen’s back door, she saw Cole’s prone form, still as a stone.
“Is he—? Is he—?” She couldn’t get out the words. Her breathing was fast, and fear was drowning her.