Needing Him

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Needing Him Page 10

by Jeanne St. James

About Loving Her

  It’s not just a love story, it’s an obsession...

  * * *

  Noah:

  * * *

  I’ve loved Bree my whole life. We were each other’s firsts when we were young and inexperienced, and I totally screwed up. I disappointed her, causing her to cry and run away. But over the years, I’ve learned, I’ve perfected, and I’ve dreamt of one day getting another shot with the love of my life.

  * * *

  When I finally get the chance never in my wildest dreams did I think Bree was like this. The girl who used to wear yellow sundresses is no longer Bree, she’s Brianna, my new mistress. I’ll do whatever needed for her forgiveness, even go to my knees and grovel.

  * * *

  However, there’s just one thing... I want Bree back, not Brianna. Once I get Bree, Brianna can do to me what she will.

  * * *

  Bree:

  * * *

  Maybe Noah doesn’t realize it, but he’s been mine ever since we were teens. I tried to apologize for disappointing him our first time, but never got the chance.

  * * *

  Now, when he approaches me at the bar, I can only think about all the things I want to do to him and with him. I plan to show him the skills I’ve honed over the years.

  * * *

  Little does he know what’s in store for him because I know his secrets, his desires, his needs. And I plan on giving it all to him.

  * * *

  However, just when I think I’m in control, he turns my world upside down.

  * * *

  Note: All books in the Obsessed series are standalone novellas. It is intended for audiences over 18 years of age since it includes explicit sexual situations, including BDSM.

  Loving Her - Chapter One

  Noah:

  I’ve loved her my whole life. At least since I can remember, which is all the way back to when she was in kindergarten and I was in first grade. I’d chase her through the backyard and around the jungle gym, trying to catch and kiss her.

  If I’d succeed, she’d curl her little fingers into a fist, sock me in the gut, then run and tell her mother.

  Yep, I had no game.

  And, apparently, I didn’t leave an impression. Because now, at thirty, she’s still avoiding me.

  Even though she can’t go very far at the moment since I’m her brother’s Best Man, and she’s the Maid of Honor.

  Let me tell you, I hate weddings.

  I hate them even more when I’m forced to stand across from her and can’t touch her, drag my fingers through her long, dark hair and run my lips along her delicate neck.

  The only time I can touch her is when I escort her up the aisle. I’ve done it twice so far. However, she won’t meet my eyes, she feels stiff on my arm and she’s hardly said two words to me. And now I stand here while the wedding planner drones on and on about what’s expected of us during the ceremony tomorrow.

  Yawn.

  Look, Ms. Wedding Planner, it’s easy. Put one foot in front of the other, walk (without tripping) up the center aisle (can’t get lost while staying in between the rows of pews and aim for the front of the church), then stand to the side (no picking noses, asses, or adjusting your junk).

  Simple.

  Oh, and don’t pass out. Otherwise, the video will go viral across cyberspace.

  One more thing… the rings. Can’t forget to put the rings in my tux pocket.

  Got it.

  Yawn again.

  It isn’t as if I’m not happy for my buddy, getting married to a great woman (although, not quite as stunning as his sister) who makes him happy, but I’m not thrilled with being a part of it. But I have his back. And I’d love to have his sister on her back.

  Again. But in better circumstances.

  We lost our virginity together at seventeen in her parents’ pool shed. I was in love with her then, too. Her with me? Not so much.

  And in those forty-five seconds of bliss, I fell in love with her even more. I don’t think she thought it was even close to bliss, though. In fact, she had run out of the shed crying while pulling down her sweet yellow sundress.

  I was devastated, and that was a major blow to my seventeen-year-old ego.

  I’ll admit it, I had a lot to learn.

  However, I had to learn it elsewhere since she was no longer game. In fact, she avoided me (just like at this rehearsal).

  But I did learn. I was determined to improve, to not make her cry next time. But, unfortunately, there never was a next time.

  Eventually, Mrs. Callahan down the street was kind enough to take me under her wing. Teach me the ins and outs of women. Of pleasure. Of discovering what I wanted and what I wanted to give in return.

  Mrs. Callahan.

  Yeah.

  She made me call her that, too. And I did (when I wasn’t calling her Mistress).

  I learned.

  I perfected.

  I dreamt of one day getting another shot with the love of my life.

  Now here we stand, across from each other. My eyes on her. Her eyes on everything but me.

  I want her.

  I need her.

  Still.

  Even after all these years.

  As I stand across from her, I’m mesmerized by her unforgettable, stunning beauty.

  I love her.

  But I can’t have her.

  And that fucking blows.

  Bree:

  At dinner, I watch him over the rim of my wine glass. My eyes narrow as he leans over to say something quietly into the ear of one of the bridesmaids. The single one with the big boobs that made sure she snagged the chair next to him. She throws her little blonde head back and laughs. He smiles in response, his golden-green eyes sparkling. They have a secret. Apparently a funny one, too.

  She can laugh with him all she wants, but she needs to know... he’s mine.

  He’s been mine ever since we lost our virginity together all those years ago.

  Maybe he didn’t realize it then. He doesn’t realize it now.

  Maybe, just maybe, he needs a lesson.

  One different from what that whore Mrs. Callahan taught him.

  Yes, I know all about Mrs. Callahan and Noah.

  And what she did to my Noah.

  Days later I followed him, trying to catch up with him to apologize for running out crying after he popped my cherry. I even called out his name, but he didn’t hear me. Or maybe he was ignoring me. Probably because I disappointed him that day in the shed and he didn’t want anything to do with me anymore.

  But then he went to her house. I watched (in shock) as the door opened and he was pulled inside. He had just turned eighteen. Barely legal. That bitch was like a hundred at the time.

  Okay, probably the same age as we are now. Though, back then, it might as well have been a hundred.

  She opened the door wearing some sexy almost see-through nightie. One I would have killed to own (and fill out like her). Her eyes flicked up to me and I froze. She smiled like a predator at Noah, snagged his arm and dragged him inside. Then she aimed that smile at me as she shut the door behind him.

  I ended up following him more than once. More than twice.

  I’m embarrassed to admit how often it truly was.

  But what he learned, I did, too. I watched them.

  And one day when I was hidden, I saw it happen.

  She had her husband’s belt. And she whipped him with it while he was on his knees, his head to the mattress.

  I watched him twitch with every strike. His ass getting redder with every blow. And she wasn’t gentle. No. She struck him hard, often, but I couldn’t hear if he made a noise. If he cried out, if he asked her to stop.

  Though, it didn’t appear so.

  He could have escaped, gotten away. He wasn’t tied in any fashion, he wasn’t restrained. He moved into position willingly with, from what I could see, his eyes showing excitement.

  A smile curled that witch’s lips as she did it.
r />   I got scared while watching her hit him.

  Not for him.

  No.

  But for me.

  Because I realized what she gave, what he willingly accepted, did something inside of me. It lit a fire in my belly, caused goosebumps to break out all over my body, tightened my nipples, made me slick between the thighs.

  What Mrs. Callahan was doing should have disturbed me. It didn’t.

  It excited me.

  I wanted to switch places with her.

  Now, I not only wanted Noah, I wanted to do things to him I never expected.

  For more information on Loving Her (An Obsessed Novella): http://www.jeannestjames.com/loving-her

  If you haven’t read the first book in the Obsessed Novella Series, turn the page to read the first chapter.

  About Forever Him

  This is not just a love story, it’s an obsession…

  * * *

  I can’t keep my eyes off the tall, dark, and confident man who stops in the coffee shop every morning. I want this stranger more than I’ve ever wanted anyone before, even though I only know his first name. As an author, my imagination is my ultimate writing tool, men like Kane my muse. And the minute he leaves, I’m overcome with fantasies I can’t control and my fingers fly across the keyboard … until one day, I almost snap. My embarrassing outburst has me running out the door when he catches me and takes me to his home.

  * * *

  Though it’s risky, I can’t resist him. And with one kiss, he now owns me. This man will capture my sanity and trap it forever. He’ll steal me one piece at a time until he possesses me completely. He’ll ruin me for any other man. But I don’t want anyone else, for it’ll always be forever him.

  * * *

  Note: All books in the Obsessed series are stand-alone novellas. It is intended for audiences over 18 years of age since it includes explicit sexual situations, including BDSM.

  Forever Him - Chapter One

  His name is Kane.

  I will love him forever. He just doesn’t know it yet…

  The only reason I know his name is because every morning when he stops at the coffee shop for his large black coffee, the barista calls out, “Kane with a K.”

  Every. Single. Morning.

  I assume the barista does it on purpose. Possibly to coax a smile out of him. But it never does. His expression never changes. It seems forever stuck in serious mode. He just grabs his coffee, throws money into the tip jar, spins on his heels, and leaves.

  Maybe he’s an important man. A busy man. A man with a lot of responsibilities on his broad shoulders. Maybe his mind is on what he needs to get done for the day.

  But he never deviates from his routine. Black coffee. No cream. No sugar. No pastries.

  Not once since I’ve noticed him.

  I rarely pay attention to people coming and going from the shop since the mornings are usually busy. I sit in my corner with my laptop open, my brain spinning with ideas. Or not.

  Sometimes I have severe writer’s block. Those are the times my brain seems dark and empty. Nobody’s home. I had it the first morning I noticed him. During those times, I stare off blindly while reaching deep into my head. Searching for… something. Anything. Begging for just a couple words to spur my creativity.

  The front door with its delicate dinging bell usually never pulls my attention. Until that day. The day I happened to be staring at the door mindlessly, not paying attention to the influx of customers.

  Until him.

  He’s tall. And broad. Not fat, no. Heavy muscles bunch under the dress shirt he wears as he pushes the door open and steps inside. His dark hair is super short on the sides, just a tiny bit longer on the top. A no-nonsense haircut. Like him… No nonsense.

  His perfectly ironed, deep purple dress shirt is tucked neatly into his black slacks. His black leather belt is held together by a simple gold-tone buckle.

  His eyebrows appear dark and heavy above eyes that make me blink. They are so light but I can't tell if they are gray or blue. No matter what, they’re a shocking contrast to his skin color.

  The only visible accessory he wears is a watch on his wrist. Even from where I sit, I can see it’s quality. One I could never afford, and I probably wouldn’t know the brand. But it screams expensive.

  His legs are long and unmistakably solid, giving him a confident stride as he beelines to the counter.

  Why does he stop here for black coffee? I’m sure he can afford a coffee maker. It isn’t difficult to make. Some grounds, a filter, and some water. Push the button, wait, and voilà…

  Ah, maybe he doesn’t like to wait. But is it actually quicker to stop here every morning?

  Maybe he doesn’t like to clean up. Though, after studying him, my gut instinct says he can afford someone to take care of dirty dishes. Perhaps he even has a significant other who would be willing to do it. A wife. A husband.

  A lover…

  It doesn’t matter why he stops each morning because once I notice him, I can’t take my eyes off him. I can’t concentrate.

  I watch his lips move as he places his order. I wait for the corners of his lips to turn up as he talks to the barista. They don’t. No eye crinkle, no smile, not even a nod of his head to acknowledge that he’s speaking to a fellow human.

  Nothing.

  He never takes out a cell phone once while waiting for his coffee. I have never even seen him with one in his hand.

  He would be the kind of person to think it rude to be on your phone instead of giving your full attention to the person serving you. Even if that attention is cold, lifeless.

  He’s consistent, and he always comes alone.

  One day I switch from my regular table in the corner to a table where I can see his left hand. His ring finger appears bare. Though, that doesn’t guarantee he isn’t married. Or in a committed relationship. A lot of men don’t wear bands.

  I watch him every day. I learn the way he moves, that he’s right-handed, that he takes fifteen strides to the coffee counter. That he always checks the lid on his coffee to make sure it’s secure before pivoting to leave.

  I turn into Pavlov’s dog. When the bell rings at 8:02 every morning, I have to glance up. I can’t fight it even if I want to.

  After I watch him walk out the door, I spin fantasies about him. How he will look naked. How his face will twist when he comes. How his fingers will feel deep in my pussy, stroking my insides, making me wet.

  How serious his kiss will be when he crushes me against him.

  I can’t escape my thoughts. My desires. My panty-soaking fantasies.

  I think about changing coffee shops because I‘m becoming obsessed.

  I want to touch him. I want to see him smile. I want to make him laugh.

  I imagine that something is missing from his life. Like me. I can solve all his problems. I can smooth his brow when it furrows after being overwhelmed at work. I can kiss away the tension. I can whisper soothing words in his ear to distract him from all the important tasks he’s responsible for.

  The only good thing about my obsession is it helps me write. Once the bell rings as the door closes behind him, my fingers tear across the keyboard. I no longer suffer from writer’s block. Fantasy after fantasy pops in my head, and I squeeze my thighs together until I ache as the words spill out onto the screen.

  He is my muse.

  My inspiration.

  His skin is dark, but I can’t imagine him lounging by a pool. He seems too important for that. Or too impatient. He probably doesn’t have time for fun. Life for him is about getting things done.

  So, it isn’t a tan. No, his skin tone appears natural. His heritage makes him dark. Brooding. Intense. Something lurks in his lineage that is far from middle America. Even if his driver’s license classifies him as white, his family tree would say otherwise.

  Kane with a K intrigues me.

  I never sleep in anymore, but I don’t have to set my alarm. My eyes pop open every weekday at the
same time, my head already filled with him. I make sure I am at the coffee shop, in my usual spot with my laptop open, my chai tea fresh and hot in front of me by 7:50. Just in case he’s early.

  He never is. He’s like clockwork. He has a routine, and sticks with it.

  Every. Single. Morning.

  I want to know what his last name is. What he does for a living. What kind of car he drives. Does he walk to the coffee shop? Does he live or work nearby?

  When the tiny bell rings, I glance up. My eyes flick to the time in the corner of my screen, 8:02. Then they land back on him.

  Today he wears a jacket over his light blue dress shirt, one that emphasizes the color of his eyes. His dark blue patterned tie is knotted perfectly, precise, tight to his collar. The cuffs of his shirt are visible over his hands. The correct length for a well-dressed man. His gold cufflinks flash as his arm swings in rhythm with his gait.

  He’s so out of my league, he never, ever glances my way. Not once.

  I don’t understand how he can’t feel the heat of my gaze, the filthy sexual nature of my thoughts.

  How can he not feel me undressing him?

  Every. Single. Morning.

  He has to wait this morning. Two people are ahead of him with much more complex orders than his usual large black coffee. The staff is short-handed today. His sharp gaze sweeps the space behind the counter before realizing the issue. He lifts his arm and checks his watch.

 

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