by H. M. Gooden
"You have the ability to see the life force within other living entities," Samuel paused, adding solemnly, "but you also have the ability to take it away."
The girl looked at her teacher with shock, then shook her head. "But I don't want to have that ability! What if I abuse it?"
Samuel smiled at her, his weathered face wrinkling at her distress. "That is a risk you will have, my girl. Use your gift wisely. This is part of your power and it will help when you confront the dark ones around you. You can take their power for your own to banish them, but in return, you must always fight to defeat the evil within yourself. Whatever you take in will influence you, for good or bad."
The girl thought about his words and her heart sank. What if she was dangerous to everyone? Did that mean she'd be alone forever?
"Like if I touch something good, I'll take it in? Will it hurt them?"
"If you take too much, yes. You can always choose not to touch others, but if and when you do, you may take their life energy. In the case of the dark ones, this will be a powerful weapon. But for you to love anyone, you must be careful. I'm sorry." Samuel took a step away from the girl, looking off into the forest as he let her absorb his words. She looked down at her hand in sorrow and she knew this was just the beginning of her journey of self-discovery.
EMMA JANE CLOSED HER eyes, then rubbed them with one hand. Vanessa once again fell out of the magic Emma Jane's words had woven around her and studied her with compassion.
"That must have been a hard thing to discover," she said.
Emma Jane sighed, looking at Vanessa with swirling white clouds. "It was. Samuel had known, even at that time, that it was just the beginning for me. I could tell you more stories, but I don't think we have enough time at the moment."
"What exactly can you do? Because...wow. You are the best storyteller I've ever met!" Cat asked, leaning forward to hear better, as enraptured by Emma Jane's story as Vanessa had been.
"Well, as you already know, I can see auras much the same way as you, Cat. The difference is that I can take the energy from a life force instead of rebuilding it, which is the opposite of your powers. As Samuel predicted, it has been a powerful weapon, but it has led to a rather solitary existence, as I'd feared when I first discovered it as a young girl. In addition to my powers, Samuel also taught me how to track with a combination of traditional ways and my spirit vision, and of course, how to fight."
Emma Jane laughed. "Actually, I remember that part very fondly. He had a thing for mixed martial arts long before it was cool, training me mostly off videos and with the help of the occasional martial artist that passed through our town. Needless to say, my early fighting style was...eclectic."
She shook her head with amusement. "As I got older, I learned how to fight more professionally," she drawled, causing Cat and Vanessa to smile at the thought of how she must have looked.
"Okay, so you can see auras, you can track and fight, but you can also absorb energy? Does that mean you can steal...souls?" Vanessa hesitated to ask but needed to know.
She flashed back to the dark well she'd fallen into when Declan had taken her energy and left her for dead in his backyard. She still had nightmares about it and had been heartbroken at the time. She hadn't been in love with him or anything, but he'd been so charismatic and had captured her interest so strongly that it had been a very unpleasant betrayal. Maybe that's why I've been single so long.
Emma Jane looked at her with an expression so lonely that Vanessa felt her own heart squeeze in her chest.
"I don't know about souls. I was taught that it was the energy animating living creatures that I have access to. But yes, if I touch something for long enough, I will begin to absorb their energy. If I don't let go, they can die."
"Is that why you were so angry back in the bathroom at the club?" Cat blurted, clapping a hand over her mouth and blushing.
Emma Jane nodded. "Yes. Not only was I frustrated that she got away again, but I'd managed to touch her and had already started to absorb some of her energy. Some of the darkness the witch carries transferred to me." Emma Jane looked at Vanessa apologetically. "That's why I told you to back off. I would've loved support at that moment, but I didn't want to hurt you accidentally. Once I open myself up like that, sometimes I can't help where I draw energy from. I need to re-center myself before I'm safe to be around other people."
"That must be so lonely," Vanessa whispered. She wanted to hold Emma Jane and give her a hug at that moment but was worried Emma Jane would absorb her energy, until she remembered the hug they'd shared the first night. "Why were you able to touch me before?"
Emma Jane smiled wistfully. "For a few reasons, I guess. One, I wasn't open like I was at the club, but the other reason is because we were both wearing clothing and I wasn't directly touching your skin. It usually has to be skin on skin for me unless I'm wide open and then I don't have to physically touch someone, I just have to be nearby. When you linked arms with me at the club, I most likely took some of your energy then, but you were powerful enough not to notice."
"Wow, that sucks. I'm so sorry," said Cat, frowning. "I can't even imagine how hard that would be. Is there anything you can do so that you don't take the life energy from others around you?"
"Not that I've found." Emma Jane said, shaking her head. "And believe me, I've looked in a lot of places. It makes for lonely travelling, that's for sure. But it is what it is, right? So enough of that."
Emma Jane waved her hand around, as though wiping away the revelation that she was unable to have a normal human relationship. "What should we do today? The trail is completely cold until tomorrow, assuming we get lucky and pick up the trail again at Vanessa’s work place."
Emma Jane looked at Vanessa and Cat for suggestions. Vanessa couldn't help but think how strong Emma Jane was to unload a bomb like that and then just continue on as if it didn't matter. Maybe it didn't matter when she was used to it. It was just her life. That, to Vanessa, was the most devastating part of the sad story of Emma Jane's life.
"Well, if you guys don't need me, I'd like to go and study more. Test and all," said Cat. She looked at Vanessa with the expression she always associated with 'you can ask me to do something and I will, but I won't be happy about it.'
Knowing that, Vanessa answered the way she knew Cat secretly wanted her to. "Go ahead. If the trail's cold, there's no point in all three of us searching around. I'll take Emma Jane around town to check out the spots where I’d go to find an attractive target if I was looking for a meal of young and attractive women. Even if we don't find her, at least we'll have a nice day."
Cat nodded. "Perfect. Well, in that case, I'm going to get ready to go. You guys have a good day. Text if you need back up."
Vanessa watched as Cat got up, before realizing that she was still in her pajamas and housecoat herself. "Emma Jane, I'm going to get dressed. Like I told Cat, I'll take you around town on the off-chance you'll be able to find a trail on that woman, but I'd really just like to spend some time with you and show you a fun day. It doesn't sound like you've had much of that and that sucks. I'm going to make up some lost time for you."
Vanessa watched as Emma Jane blinked rapidly for a moment, then smiled.
"I'd like that. But you know you don't have to, right?"
"I know. But I want to."
CHAPTER NINE
Vanessa dressed quickly, feeling curiously excited about the day ahead. It was weird, but she was looking forward to spending time with Emma Jane alone. She knew Emma Jane had told them an extremely short and sanitized version of her life, but her heart broke just the same. To lose her whole family as a young girl, then to wake up blind, discover she had powers, and be trained by an old man would have been traumatic enough. But to discover you can't ever be close with people because you might accidentally kill them? Vanessa knew she wasn't that strong. She'd always been a people person, needing someone around her to keep her happy. That was why, as she brushed her hair and quickly arranged it in
a low ponytail, she suspected she was anticipating the day so much. Today, she'd give Emma Jane a day out with a friend, where she could be a normal person and hang out, without any darkness or death stalking her.
Vanessa entered the living area, finding Emma Jane already dressed and on the couch. She was back in the same dark jeans with a different dark shirt, but otherwise appeared unchanged from the day before.
"Are you ready?" Vanessa asked, looking around for her sister. "Where's Cat?"
Cat came out of her room carrying her books and her bag. "I'm leaving now. I have my phone, so you can give me a shout anytime, okay? Otherwise, I'll be home for supper. Maybe we can get takeout again?"
"Sounds good. Have fun, study safe, don't do anything I wouldn't do."
Cat snorted. "Well, then I wouldn't be studying at all now, would I?"
With that last dig, Cat waved and left the apartment, leaving Vanessa and Emma Jane alone. They looked at each other for a few moments, with Vanessa wondering what Emma Jane thought of everything around her, while Emma Jane's face remained devoid of emotion.
Finally, Vanessa broke the silence. "I was thinking we could leave the car behind today and do some old-fashioned sightseeing, maybe take the cable cars if we need to get somewhere farther away. Does that sound okay to you?"
Vanessa picked up her purse from the counter. "Not to mention, parking in the areas where we want to go is notoriously limited and pricey."
Emma Jane smiled slightly, causing Vanessa to wonder if she didn't want to go.
"You know, we don't have to go if you don't want to. I just wanted to show you what San Francisco has to offer, but if that doesn't appeal, we can always just chill here, and watch a movie or something."
Vanessa was beginning to feel awkward now, like she'd forced her plans onto someone else. The thought also struck her that she couldn't remember worrying about that before. It was strange how much more considerate she wanted to be than usual. Emma Jane had had a pretty crappy life from the sounds of it and she wanted to give her a day to remember, in between all the sadness.
"Of course I want to go, Vanessa. I'm sorry if I don't seem very excited. It's just, I'm not sure what to expect. I can't see the same way you can, after all, so I'm worried you'll be disappointed with me." She shrugged, looking down and away.
"Disappointed? Okay, now we're both being silly." Vanessa held out her hand. "Let's make a deal. We're going to have fun today, that's our only purpose. If you don't like something, tell me. And if I suddenly think I need coffee or chocolate or something, that's what's going to happen. Fair?"
Emma Jane smiled, this time with her face lighting up with the happiness and excitement Vanessa had hoped to see. "Deal."
They shook hands and Vanessa felt the same tingle cross her palm then linger until after she let go.
I wonder if that's her power, or something more than just the supernatural.
THE DAY WAS IDEAL FOR Vanessa's plan to show Emma Jane the best the city had to offer. They started at the wharf, enjoying the sun and the sound of the seagulls. Vanessa found herself sitting quietly with Emma Jane, staring out at the water with a feeling of peace that she'd been missing over the previous few years. Something about the calmness of this woman made her feel less rushed, reducing the gale force winds inside her to a gentle breeze. She watched Emma Jane's face closely as she showed her the sights, knowing Emma Jane couldn't see them the way others did, but observing her appreciation of the smells, sounds, and sensations. Vanessa was enjoying herself in a way she hadn't before, even though she'd seen the same sights many times. Now as they sat, she could feel the warmth of the sun more acutely and hear the seagulls fighting over territory more loudly than usual. She wrinkled her nose, adding to her list of differences, that she could also smell the fish smell more intensely.
"It's beautiful here," said Emma Jane. She reached her hand out to pat Vanessa's, but left it resting there, instead of drawing it away immediately. They sat like that for a while, not speaking. Vanessa felt not only the tingling in her hand, which was pleasant, but also a strange stirring in her chest. She looked at their hands for a moment.
"Emma Jane, can I ask you something a little weird?" said Vanessa hesitantly, needing to understand what was happening.
"You can ask me anything, Vanessa. I'll answer, if I can." Emma Jane turned her warm and open face toward Vanessa, eyes swirling, having taken off her sunglasses to bask with her eyes closed in the day's warmth.
Vanessa exhaled shakily then gave her a half smile. "When you touch me, I feel a tingle almost every time. Is that you, or is that your powers? I've never felt that before with anyone else."
Emma Jane sighed and looked away sadly, pulling back her hand. Vanessa felt a sensation of emptiness wash over her without Emma Jane’s hand covering hers.
"It's probably my powers. I've been trying hard not to...drain anything from either you or your sister. I don't need it for energy or anything," said Emma Jane, then hastened to add, "but I know that sometimes energy from others comes to me even when I have my barriers up." She looked back at Vanessa, cheeks flushed slightly, then looked away again. "But it may be partly you as well. I feel close to you, like I haven't with anyone else since my family. I may be accidentally drawing from you because of that attachment. It's probably better if I don't touch you anymore. I'm sorry, I don't mean you any harm."
Vanessa felt awful. She hadn't meant to make Emma Jane feel bad, but watching the dejected expression of loneliness that flooded her face when she'd removed her hand, Vanessa knew that's exactly what had happened. With a weird clarity, she realized that seeing Emma Jane upset made her upset as well, as if her feelings were directly tied to hers. She paused to examine the odd understanding for a second, then deliberately took a chance. Vanessa moved closer on the bench so that they were touching, side to side, and drew Emma Jane's hand back into both of hers. Emma Jane gasped, her head turning to face Vanessa with an expression that was now both confused and hopeful.
"I don't understand. I thought you'd want to...stay away from me," she whispered.
Vanessa moved her face so that they were separated by only a few inches, speaking softly and slowly. "Emma Jane, I really like you. I've been alone, but never as alone as you've been for your entire life. For the first time in a long time, I feel like I'm not alone when I'm with you. I don't know what it means, but I don't want you to ever feel hurt by something I've done. I like holding your hand," said Vanessa as she dipped her head, then felt her face flush as she added, "I like touching you."
She looked back up at Emma Jane, just as a hopeful expression covered her beautiful face and wiped away the loneliness.
"I like holding your hand, too. But what if I drain your energy? What if I can't hold your hand without hurting you?" Emma Jane asked, sounding torn. "What if..."
"What if? I don't know what any of this means. Are we friends? I'd like to think so, although we haven't known each other very long. But I feel something else here, something I haven't felt with any of my other friends. Something about you makes me feel warm inside, even when you aren't touching me. I'd really like to spend more time with you and just see where this goes." Vanessa paused, searching Emma Jane's face for her answer. "I'd really like to hold your hand, even if it's dangerous," Vanessa whispered.
A single tear escaped Emma Jane's swirling eyes, tracking down the cheek nearest to Vanessa, which she gently brushed away. "I think...I'd like that."
The words left as a sigh on the breeze and Vanessa felt her heart expand. She leaned over and rested her head on Emma Jane's shoulder, still holding the hand that had almost gotten away.
They sat together with the waves crashing and the seagulls fighting for a long while, until they started to feel stiff. They hadn't spoken, but Vanessa felt as close to Emma Jane as if they'd spent the entire time trading stories about their childhood. Instead of stories though, she'd learned what the sound of Emma Jane's heartbeat was and felt her breathing next to her. She'd learned that E
mma Jane was open to the idea of maybe sharing a future of some kind together.
Vanessa had time to think about the transfer of energy thing during their quiet moment together. She knew it would be a challenge, especially if their relationship did progress beyond hand-holding and she began to rack her brain for answers. She wondered if it was something that Cat could help her with. If nothing else, she could help tidy up her aura if it was looking cloudy. Vanessa remembered all the times in high school when Cat had healed her without her even knowing it, back when she'd felt drawn to Declan and he'd turned out to be evil. So, there was that for a backup plan at least. What was it that drew her to people that had such potential to hurt her?
Feeling her stomach growl unexpectedly, Vanessa looked at her watch. Reluctantly, she lifted her head from a place that felt strangely like home. "I'm getting hungry. What would you like to eat?"
Vanessa turned so that her knees were at a ninety-degree angle to Emma Jane, but didn't let go of her hand. The tingle had faded slightly, to a point where Vanessa wondered if it was just the effect she had on her, as a person of interest.
"I hadn't really thought about it," replied Emma Jane, smiling shyly. "This was really nice and it took my thoughts away from everything else, even the witch we're still technically hunting right now."
Emma Jane looked guilty, but Vanessa waved away her concerns. "Nonsense. You said it yourself. The trail's cold until tomorrow. We're doing the next best thing to active tracking by going to the places the animals frequent, right?"
Emma Jane chuckled. "Well, when you put it like that, of course. How could I forget?" She laughed, a real laugh this time, then shook her head. "Alright then. Maybe a nice little diner, somewhere quiet? I'm in the mood for some comfort food."
Emma Jane smiled again. Vanessa thought she looked even more beautiful when she was happy and stood up, letting go of her hand but offering her arm in exchange.