by Lindsey Iler
Little Weston. His reminder that there once was another one of us is painful.
I jump into the elevator and ride it to the third floor. The doors open, and I’m hauled from inside of the car and dragged down the hallway.
“Delaney, slow down.” I pull my arm away and stop in front of my dorm room. “What’s wrong?”
“What’s wrong?” She glances around the hallway.
“We’re alone. It’s okay.” I dig out my key and unlock the door. Delaney’s hands slam into my back and force me inside.
“No, it’s not okay.”
I throw my bag onto the bed and turn to find her glaring at me with her hands tight on her hips. The evidence of what happened last night covers her neck. The faint, barely there bruises are the perfect shape of Declan’s fingers. Worry plummets to the pit of my stomach.
“Your neck.” I brush my fingers over them. She winces and retreats from my touch.
“I know.” She covers the fragile skin with her hand. “I’m so stupid. I should’ve listened to you.”
“Neither of us could’ve known, Laney.” I sit down on the edge of my bed. “Are you okay, though?”
“I’d really like to put last night behind me, if that’s okay.” Her head lowers like she has something to be ashamed of.
“You know you didn’t do anything wrong, right? You’re not to blame for that asshole’s actions.”
“I know, but there’s something I don’t understand.” She sits down next to me. “Why did they come to my rescue, and better yet, why would you let me stay in the room with Breaker all by myself? Haven’t you heard the rumors about him?”
“I’ve heard the rumors about all of them, yes.” I fall back to the mattress, practically feeling Marek’s warm breath on my neck. “What’s your point?”
“Last time I checked, we hate them.”
“You have no reason to hate them.” I chuckle.
“But you do. And even though you’ve never told me those reasons, I’m smart enough to understand those reasons are enough for me to hate them with you. So, explain to me how last night went down.”
I relive the night, exactly how it played out, minus the little run-in with Byron and Marek in the bedroom. Those memories are only meant for me.
“So, without any questions, they came to my rescue?” She squints, doubting everything from the night before. “Boys like them don’t care about anyone except themselves.”
“I guess they saw how worried I was when I couldn’t find you, and they realized maybe you were in danger.” I walk over and flip on my coffee pot. My brain needs the caffeine. I should have never declined Byron. At least I would have been a couple cups in by now.
“There’s a common denominator in all of this, you know.” Delaney grins at me. “You. They came to my rescue because of you.”
“Whatever it was, I’m glad they did, or else who knows what could’ve happened to you in that room.”
She gazes into thin air, like she’s reliving the night, then shakes her head and shrugs.
“You all good?”
“It’s weird.” She scrunches her nose. “Breaker made me feel safe, like nothing could get past him to get to me. I don’t think we’ve exchanged a single word since third grade.”
“They’re sort of an anomaly, aren’t they?” I say, pinching my bottom lip in memory.
“Oh, hell no!” She smacks my leg as I pass to grab my schoolbooks. “You have a total crush on one of them, but which one?” She taps her chin, curious.
“No, I don’t.” I turn my back to avoid her stare. “I’m just intrigued is all.”
“Just be careful. Those boys like to toy around, and my guess is they’d destroy you in fifteen minutes.” She stands and heads for the door. “I mean it, Palmer. You’re too vanilla for them. They’re more into girls like your . . .”
“Like my sister.” I finish the thought for her.
“Yes, like Reed.” Her face shifts into a sympathetic smile I’m far too familiar with.
After what happened to Reed, I’ve grown far too accustomed to people tiptoeing around me.
“She loved them. Not in a perverse kind of way, but to her, they were these undeniable creatures. The world could turn their back on them, and she’d be there. I never quite understood what had her so indebted to them.” I pour myself a cup of coffee and hold the warm mug in my hands.
“And now you do?”
“No, but I’d love to see what she saw.”
“Like I said”—Delaney opens the door, then lifts her hands— “just be careful.” She smiles, but it’s clouded by the doubt in her voice.
Once she leaves, I spend the rest of my day in my room studying and prepping for the week. Glass Heart Academy isn’t easy. Everything about our schooling is meant to push us, to prepare each of us for university. We are elite, ranked highest in the country for academics for a reason. We work our asses off, simply because we have no choice.
I sometimes wonder if that’s what happened to Reed. Did everything become too hard, and she got mixed up with something she shouldn’t? The police say the trail turned cold, and after seventy-two hours, it was unlikely we’d ever know what happened to her. The only evidence they had was a bloody dorm room with no body. One thing we do know is the blood belonged to my sister, and whatever happened to her, she didn’t go down without a fight. That comes as no surprise to me.
Reed lived her whole life fighting.
After three hours of calculus prep and another four of chemistry, my eyelids burn with fatigue. I push my books off to the side and crawl under the blanket, ready to turn my bedside light off and catch up on some seriously needed sleep. As I reach for the switch, my phone dings, postponing the sleep I so desperately want.
Marek’s name lights the screen with one unanswered message. Ding. Make that two. Contemplating what harm could happen if I answer him, I unlock the screen and read his texts.
Marek: You ran off before I could say goodbye.
Marek: Come on now, Palmer. Don’t be mad at me.
This guy is either delusional or has short-term memory loss. This morning he came in warm with a kiss, then forced me to leave due to his chilly demeanor. Being around him is like running into oncoming traffic, constantly dodging and weaving to ensure my body’s safety.
Me: I’m not mad.
Ring. Ring. Ring.
I drop my phone to the mattress when Marek’s face pops up on the screen. When it stops chiming, I pick it up, only to practically fling it across the room at the knock on the door.
Holding my breath, I hope whoever it is goes away.
Knock. Knock. Knock.
Seriously.
“Palmer, I know you’re in there.” The voice doesn’t belong to who I expect.
I jump from the bed and open the door. Breaker is standing outside my dorm, his hands gripped tight to the doorframe. The ease on his face tells me he’s here more for fun than business.
“Are you going to invite me in?” He doesn’t wait for a response. Instead, he bulldozes through and jumps into my bed, making himself comfortable by splaying out on my pillows. “Cute bedspread.”
Everything about the scene seems wrong. There is nothing soft about this boy, and yet, he lies on my floral comforter like he belongs.
“Why are you here?” I search the hallway, curious if he’s alone, before turning and finding Breaker smiling.
“He’s not with me.” He shrugs. “Plus, I figured I should come check on Delaney.”
“I don’t remember asking about him.” I roll my eyes. “Now, please tell me why you’re really here.”
“Well, you see, when I dropped you off earlier, I realized I don’t really know you.” He sits up, taking in my dorm. I’m suddenly self-conscious after seeing their set-up at the top of the hill.
“And your point?”
“You aren’t curious about me in the slightest?” He swings his legs off the bed and stands to check out my bookshelf.
The dorms on
campus aren’t horrible. Though small compared to how most of us live, they are livable, each with their own bathroom and kitchenette. There are apartments in New York City with less square footage.
“Your real name is Barrett, but you go by Breaker because you’re ruthless on the lacrosse field. You’re the oldest brother in your family. Following you are two little sisters. You’re gorgeous to the point that it is literally stupid. You’re a bit obnoxious, always cracking jokes, but there’s a sadness in you that you don’t let anyone see.”
What are the odds he’ll see right through my avoidance tactics? If you shove the attention on someone else, then there’s no way they’ll be able to see the truth. These boys scare me, and Breaker being in my space, after everything they’ve done in the past and what I know about them through Reed, sends me into a mini-spiral of uncertainty. I don’t know how to be me and be around them.
“How do you know about this supposed sadness, then?” He checks over his shoulder to see if he still has my attention. I hate to admit that he does.
“When no one is looking, you allow that guard to slip away. I’ve only seen it once. Freshman year. Marek and Dixon were picking on Cindy Keller, and as they knocked her books out of her hands, I caught you bending down to help her. That was the slip-up. The hidden truth was behind your impeccable green eyes.” His throat bobs up and down. Am I making him nervous? “You’re capable of remorse, something I wasn’t aware of until then.”
“So what, I have a heart.” He shrugs and picks up a picture of Delaney and me at a concert last summer.
“You showed it again last night at the club.” I grab the frame and set it back down. “With her.”
“I’m a cruel son of a bitch most days. I’ve done things that would make your skin crawl, but when it comes to women, especially women in trouble . . .”
“You don’t need to explain yourself, Breaker.” I hold up my hand, insuring him that I mean it. “But I still want to know why you’re hanging out in my dorm room.”
“I’m actually here to drag you out for ice cream.”
“Lucky for you, I don’t like ice cream. You’re off the hook you put yourself on.”
“Everyone likes ice cream, Palmer.” He plucks my jacket off the bedpost and shoves it into my chest. “Might want to get dressed.”
I look down and notice all I’m wearing is a white tank top and plaid pajama shorts. With no time to change, I pluck my uniform skirt off the top of my dresser and pull it on, slipping the shorts off under it.
“Did you just get dressed without getting undressed?” He chuckles, clearly entertained by me.
“It’s one of my many talents.”
“It’s kind of unfair. I was hoping to get a sneak peek of what all the hype is about.” His finger skims the bottom of my skirt, jokingly lifting the hem. I smack his hand away.
I slide on the jacket. “I don’t like ice cream, but I will, however, let you buy me a pretzel.”
“Seriously, a fucking pretzel? I trekked all the way down the hill for salted dough? And I didn’t even get to see you naked?”
“Take it or leave it, bud.”
“I like how that sounds. Bud. Us being friends and all.” He runs his tattooed finger over his bottom lip.
“This feels like a trap, Breaker. I’m not going to lie to you.” I cross my arms over my chest, ready to protest this impromptu outing.
“Oh, baby, everything with me always is.” He winks, opens the door, and heads out into the hallway.
I take his offered arm. We make it out of the building and into the cool night air. I attempt to lead us down the path to the state-of-the-art cafeteria, and immediately, he tugs me down the sidewalk towards the small parking lot. The lights blink on the same SUV Breaker had brought me home in.
“Get in, Palmer.” He opens the passenger side door and gestures to the inside.
“I thought we were going to get a pretzel?” I plant my feet on the curb, waiting for an answer.
“Like I said, sweetheart, everything with me is a trap. Get your fine ass into the vehicle.” He leaves the door open, confident I’ll do as he says while he gets behind the wheel.
Everything inside tells me not to trust Breaker, except a small part hidden in my soul that is curious. I only know what Reed has told me, small anecdotes of the boys as a whole. When she referred to one, the others were always implied.
Who is Breaker Davenport outside of the others? I intend to find out. My legs start moving and I’m in the passenger seat before I can stop myself.
“We’re actually going to get a pretzel, right?” I question as he drives us towards the cafeteria.
The glass windows are cast in dark shadows, and there isn’t a single person around.
“It’s Sunday. They don’t stay open past six!” I realize why the area is lifeless. “Turn around and take me back to the dorms.”
Breaker ignores my words and parks the car anyway. He circles the trunk and opens the door for me like the gentleman I’d never expect of him. With his hand held out for mine, I let my guard down and take his. I immediately feel small and defenseless in his hold.
He guides me around the back of the building. I watch, careful to make sure no one can see us. It doesn’t take long for me to realize Breaker has every intention of going inside, even with them being closed.
The key code pad on the back door should stop him, but no, he pokes the code in and opens the door, ushering me inside ahead of him. The space is dark, and I fumble for a light switch.
Breaker’s hand lands on the small of my back, while the other covers my own.
“No lights, sweetheart,” he whispers in my ear. “We like to stay hidden for a reason.”
“We’d get in trouble if anyone caught us, wouldn’t we?” I ask, surprised how effortlessly Breaker holds onto my hand as he leads me through a dark hall.
“Just sit here for a second, Palmer. I’ll be right back.” Breaker places me in a booth.
Everything becomes a little clear when my eyes adjust to the moonlight from outside the windows.
Shadows dance over the glossy tables, placing me on high alert. I’ve seen what these boys are capable of. They will push the strongest to their breaking point. My skin begins to crawl, and instinct tells me to bail, to run back to my dorm and lock myself inside. A clatter startles me, and I stand, only to be pushed back down.
“Where you running off to?” Breaker says, placing a plate in front of me. He flicks on a small lamp on the wall, illuminating our immediate space.
Two pretzels sit between us, different dipping sauces accompanying them. I smile, noticing they’re my favorites. I don’t question him, instead choosing to rip off a piece of dough and dunk it into the spicy mustard.
Breaker watches me eat several bites, never dropping his stare. His eyes lock in on my lips. I lick off the remnants of a bite.
“Are you going to make me eat alone?” I push the plate towards him.
“Not exactly what I’m hungry for, Palmer.” He rests his elbows on the table and leans forward, lighting his entire face with the lamp. There’s a wicked gleam in his crystal stare, a desire I’ll never be able to satisfy.
“I’m not a whore, Breaker.” I drop the pretzel to the plate and lean away from him. “What happened last night wasn’t an invite for the rest of you.”
“You’re saying you’ve never thought about it?” He runs the pad of his thumb over his plump bottom lip.
The silver rings on his fingers and the ink spanning his hands lead me to believe he’s nothing like the rest of the boys. There’s an edge to him, a harshness that is somehow wrapped around this softness. I don’t think he’s capable of hurting me. With that knowledge, I relax.
“With you?” I question, laughing at how ridiculous this conversation is.
“Yes, Palmer, with me.” His tone screams annoyance, but his grin tells me he’s amused.
“You’re hot, like the dumb kind of hot that makes girls a little weaker, but no, Brea
ker, you aren’t my type.” I smile at him, and every trepidation I have about him fizzles away to nothing.
“It’s too bad. I could’ve fucked you straight into loving me, Palmer Weston.” Breaker stands, looms over me, and surprisingly, drops his lips to the crown of my head. “Don’t make it easy for him.”
Breaker disappears into the darkness, leaving me alone in the light of the lantern. During the day, this place pulses with life. At night, the blackness is creepy as hell. Over the back of the booth, a tall, dark figure appears, almost giving me a heart attack until I realize who it is. He stands stoic and unmoved, watching me.
“Don’t you think it’s kind of embarrassing how desperate you are to see me?” I lean back in the booth, acting unaffected by Marek’s efforts. Knowing the trouble he’s gone to warms my body.
“What do you mean?” Marek says as he steps in front of the booth. His dark hair covers his face like a shield. The light flickers, revealing the silver flecks in his irises, creating a fire inside of him he holds hostage. He rests a hand on the back of the booth and one on the table to take up much of my air. “What I see is, a boy used his friend to lure a girl to a dark, empty room, where no one can hear her scream.”
“I’m not afraid of you.” That’s a lie. Everything about Marek is designed to scare me.
He lowers his mouth to my ear. “You and I both know that isn’t true.” As he pulls back, he inspects every line on my face.
“Does that give you a thrill, to know you have me on edge, Marek?” I lift my chin, nearly grazing my lips against his.
“Maybe a little bit.” He teases my lips with his, only to pull away and sit across from me.
“Now that you have me here, why don’t you tell me why you went to all this trouble for a girl who doesn’t mean anything to you?”
“I wanted to make sure you were okay after last night. You sort of ran off this morning before I could say anything.”
“You mean after you ignored me when the boys mentioned the shit that went down between us.”
“I didn’t think you’d want to discuss our situation in front of them. Not exactly something you want to send out in a newsletter, now is it?”
“Not the stuff that happened with Byron or everything that happened in your bedroom.” I raise an eyebrow. “Which reminds me, how did they know?”