Instead, she shoved the ladybug teapot at Gwen and launched herself at Nancy.
Not to pummel her face like Lucky wanted to do, or even to ralph in her hair, but to give her a giant hug.
And rub her bad luck all over the woman.
“I’m so glad my niece and nephew have such great people to advocate for them. So. Glad.” She tightened and released the hug with each sentence. Just to make sure the woman was good and covered with Lucky’s definite unluck. Then she stepped back and beamed at her with a bright smile.
“I . . . thank you.” Nancy coughed. “I didn’t know Gwen thought so well of me.”
Gwen got in on the action. “Oh, Nancy. I should do more to show it. You work so hard on all the events and running the PTA. I mean, even though you’re not the president, you always take charge. You get things done.”
Which was all code for the fact PTA Nancy, from the stories Lucky had heard, was a raging shitlord.
“I should really get going.” Nancy shrugged uncomfortably.
A long silence reigned before Nancy coughed and headed to the register.
“That was pretty brilliant. I thought her eyes were going to pop out of her head like one of those pooping animal keychains. You know the ones? Where you squeeze them and their eyes bulge and so goop squishes out of their butts?”
Lucky laughed. “That’s amazing. It’s too bad you didn’t get a video.”
“I’ve got it on replay in my head right now. Where it’s going to stay forever and ever.”
“You didn’t tell me Jake went out to dinner with her,” Lucky said.
Gwen shrugged. “It is what it is. I don’t care if he’s cheating on me. I just care that it’s with her. And they both think I’m stupid.”
“Any chance you think they were actually working on the sock hop?”
Gwen snorted. “About as likely as winning the lottery.”
“I’m sorry.” Lucky reached for Gwen’s hand and squeezed. “I’ve got a shovel and a tarp if you need me. . . .”
Laughing, Gwen pulled her in for a hug. “Thank you. You always know how to make me laugh.”
Lucky hugged her back, once again grateful that she was immune to whatever black cloud hung over Lucky’s life.
Unless this thing with Jake was somehow her fault....
“No, stop it,” Gwen said.
“What?”
“I know what you’re doing. Jake made his own choices. I made my own choices. Neither of them has anything to do with you.”
Lucky gave her a half smile. “It would kill me if my . . .” Lucky struggled to find the right word. “My curse, for lack of a better word, harmed you and the monsters in any way.”
“Lucky, I don’t know what I’d do without you. You’re my best friend. I’ll take having you cursed over not having you at all.” Gwen perked. “Hey, maybe that’s your problem. Maybe you are cursed. You’ve got three godmothers. Maybe they’re fairy godmothers and your mother forgot to invite one of the fairies to your christening and she was pissed and cursed you or something.”
Lucky snorted. “Dude. This isn’t Sleeping Beauty. I’m not that fair of face. I mean, pretty fair, but not fairy-tale princess fair. Or really fair of disposition either, now that I think about it. Weren’t those the fairy gifts? Plus, I was fine until him.”
“Maybe his . . . um . . . moment where he was out of alignment knocked you out of alignment. Maybe if you saw him again?”
“That’s the meanest thing you’ve ever said to me. I don’t wish bad things on him, but oh my God, how do you expect me to look him in the face after that debacle?”
“He was the one who drove his little car into the wrong garage. What do you have to be embarrassed about?”
Lucky looked up at the ceiling. Her face on fire as she still burned with embarrassment from that ill-fated night so many years ago.
“Look, things happen during sex. One time, Jake was—”
“If we could not talk about this anymore, that would be great. I don’t want to imagine Jake having sex.”
“Okay. Fine. Me either, honestly. But . . . maybe you should talk about it. It doesn’t have to be with me, but I’m sure he’s forgotten about it, too.”
“Unlikely.”
“Oh, hey . . . look. Nancy is still trying to check out.”
Lucky watched as Nancy pulled card after card out of her wallet and none of them worked.
They crept forward silently for a closer look.
“Everything okay, Nancy?” Gwen asked.
“There’s been some kind of mistake,” Nancy said. “All of my cards have been declined.”
“Here. Let me help you.” Gwen pulled out one of her credit cards.
“Oh no. I couldn’t ask you to.”
“You’re not asking. I insist. How embarrassing. I’m sure you’d come to my rescue if the situation was reversed. Right?” Gwen said, and handed her card over to the clerk.
Nancy looked down at her phone. “Oh my God. All of my cards are maxed out. There are charges in Hawaii. California. Florida.”
“That sucks,” Lucky said, helpfully.
Nancy grabbed her tea and darted out of the store.
“That sure worked fast. It’s rare that you get to observe karma in action. Usually, it doesn’t hit until long after you don’t care anything about watching it slap the person in the face.”
Lucky shrugged. “Happy to be of service.” Then she looked at the teapot in Gwen’s hands. “Oh, I need this wrapped and shipped,” she said to the clerk.
“Oh, right. You need to get them some tea to go in it, too,” Gwen reminded her.
“The Russian Caravan, I think. Petty likes strong flavors. Maybe some blueberry rose as well.”
“All good choices,” the clerk said, and added them to her order.
Just then, Lucky’s phone rang. She pulled it out of her bag, but the screen was cracked and she couldn’t tell who was calling. Which drove her nuts. She didn’t answer the phone for just anyone. People who called without texting first were savages.
Of course, it was most likely one of her godmothers. She took a wild guess.
“Hello, Petty.”
“My sweet little good-luck charm. What are you doing? Are you busy?”
Lucky tried not to snort. Petty behaved as if Lucky didn’t break things everywhere she went. It was rather endearing, honestly, because it seemed like she didn’t actually notice.
To Gwen, she said, “I’m going to take this outside. Can you . . .” She nodded to the teapot.
“Sure.”
Lucky handed her a credit card and stepped outside the shop, barely missing a shitting pigeon flying overhead. That was actually very lucky. Maybe things were about to change.
“I need a favor, darling.”
Lucky wasn’t sure what she could do for Petty, but most likely she was down for whatever shenanigans the old dear had cooked up. “Sure. Anything.”
“Be careful what you agree to, sweet pea.”
How bad could it be?
Of course, this was a question that she’d learned not to ask. Or at least, she’d thought she’d learned that lesson.
“I need you to get married. Well, fake married. On Valentine’s Day.”
“What’s that?” Lucky wasn’t sure she’d heard her correctly.
“You should get your ears cleaned. Maybe you have impacted wax? I’m sure I spoke quite clearly. I need you to get fake married. All of us do. Fairy Godmothers, Inc. is in the pooper. So is Ever After. We need to draw in more tourists. More business. A high-profile wedding will put us on the map.”
Lucky coughed. “Petty.”
“Yes, dear?”
“Are you stoned?”
“Why does everyone keep asking me that? No, and even if I was, it’s a good idea.”
“I . . . no. I mean, me? High-profile? You know how I break things.”
“Yes, but now you’re going to fix it. Trust me. This is exactly what everyone involved needs.”
Lucky consoled herself that even if she agreed, there was no way in hell they were going to find a groom who would fake marry the Master of Disaster.
“Who is the groom?” She laughed when she said it, but a sudden feeling like a wrecking ball smashed into her gut.
She knew before Petty spoke.
But no, it couldn’t be.
They wouldn’t.
He wouldn’t.
“Now, don’t hang up on me.”
Lucky did just that. She hung up on her godmother.
Of course, Petty called right back. Lucky considered not answering, but she knew better.
“No.”
“Darling, yes. And it’s time for the two of you to clear the air. Plus, he’s our best bet. Heart’s Desire Chocolate is the biggest chocolate maker in the world. He uses fair-trade, organic cacao and uses best practices to ensure there’s no slave labor, protects the rain forest, and he’s America’s Sweetheart. The press loves him. It’ll be a fairy-tale romance the public can get behind. And getting married in Ever After is just too perfect.”
Get behind.
Lucky rolled her eyes. Her godmother was either oblivious or being a raging smart-ass. Lucky wasn’t usually sure which, and that was definitely one of Petty’s superpowers.
“I think you’ve forgotten we’re his godmothers, too.”
“Well, that’s just incestuous.”
“Pish posh. How soon can you get here? And you should bring Gwen and the monsters. They’d get a real kick out of Ever After.”
“I’m not doing it, Petunia.” She’d used her full name. Petty had to take her seriously.
“We can do this the hard way or the easy way.” Petty’s tone was sweet, but there was steel under that syrup.
“It’s like you forgot who I am. I have to do everything the hard way.”
“What if I told you this could fix your little problem?”
“I’d say you’re a shrewd tactician.”
“I am. But I also think it’s the key.”
Petty was usually right about most everything, but Lucky didn’t think she could face him. It had been too long and . . .
“Please, Lucky. Jonquil and Bluebonnet and I just don’t know what else to do. We need you both.”
It was the please that got her. Right in the guts.
“Okay, fine.”
“You won’t regret it.”
“I’m already regretting it.”
“See you soon, lovie.”
As soon as she hung up the phone, another pigeon passed overhead.
And this time, he didn’t miss.
Chapter 2
Ransom Payne couldn’t have been more pleased with this quarter’s sales predictions.
They were through the roof.
But he knew they would be.
That was the benefit of having not only fairy godmothers, but a tiny sprinkle of fairy dust in the soil of his cacao farms. It gave his chocolate that little something extra. All he’d had to do was promise the godmothers he’d ethically source his materials and take care of the environment. All of those things were important to him, so it wasn’t any kind of sacrifice. This was the kind of business he’d wanted to run.
The kind of man he wanted to be.
The fact that it made him richer than Midas didn’t hurt, either.
He leaned back in his chair and surveyed his kingdom. Err . . . his office. This wasn’t somewhere he’d ever expected to be. Not when he’d first started. Not until he found out his godmothers were actually fairy godmothers. The real deal.
He’d started in a garage with some grow lights. Now, he had a penthouse office, more money than he could spend in one lifetime, even with all of his charitable contributions, and he’d crossed almost every item off of his bucket list.
Except a family.
Sure, his best friend worked as his assistant, he had the godmothers. They were his family, but he wanted a wife—a partner. He wanted children.
Roderick, his best friend, stepped inside the double doors. “A Miss Jonquil is here to see you.”
“Did she bring cookies?”
Jonquil toddled in behind Roderick. “Of course, I did, darling. Of course.”
“You’re supposed to wait until I tell you that you can go in,” Roderick said, but his tone was patient and kind.
“Do I ever?”
“No, Miss Jonquil.”
“But I do bring you cookies.” She handed an overstuffed basket to Roderick. “There you go, dear. Now, off with you. I have some important business to discuss with my godson.”
“Important business.” Roderick nodded, but accepted the basket with a grin. “I can be bribed.”
“Cookies are my superpower,” Jonquil said, and handed the other basket to Ransom.
Ransom didn’t even try to pretend he wasn’t drooling for his godmother’s cookies. This batch was the best he’d ever tasted, so he was sure she was going to ask him for a favor.
The godmothers usually traveled as a trio, unless they had a mission. Jonquil and her cookies were the big guns when it came to Ransom. Although, if they ever needed anything, Ransom was more than happy to help them. They were family. He loved them dearly.
Also, cookies.
“While I enjoy bribes, you know that you don’t have to bribe me,” he said around a mouthful of cookie.
“You might need it for this favor.”
He stopped midbite and eyed her. Her “grandmother glow,” as he liked to call it, was extra glowy today. Her round cheeks were pink, and her white hair was pulled back into a bun with a crown of yellow flowers. And her dress was especially starched, swishing when she walked. Yes, she’d gone the extra mile today.
“What is it?”
“So Ever After is in trouble.” She took a bite of her own cookie, seemed to think about it before stuffing the rest of it in her mouth. “Not my best work. But I was stressed. Sorry, dearie.”
“Tastes fine to me.”
“Savage,” she said with no real rancor. She handed him another cookie.
“So what is it? How can I help?”
“The town is losing all of its magic. Why, when Bluebonnet tried to bring the cherry tree to bloom, we got nothing.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means we need a way to refill it and fast, or Ever After is going to fade away, as will what’s left of the magic in the world.”
“Do you need money?” He had that in abundance, but he didn’t know what else he had to offer them that could help.
“We need something money can’t buy. We need love. So we need you to get married.”
He proceeded chewing calmly and swallowed before he spoke. “Well, that’s all fine and good. I can get married, but I need to do this little thing called falling in love first. Don’t think I haven’t tried. I’ve been on some of these dating apps; I even let Roderick set me up, which was horrible.”
“You haven’t let us fix you up.”
He cocked his head to the side. “Why do I suddenly feel like this conversation is going to take a turn I don’t like?”
Jonquil smiled at him. “Don’t you trust us?”
“I know you.”
“Of course, you do, dear. Of course.” Jonquil smiled a rather large smile. “But you don’t have to get real married. Fake married is fine.”
Yes, this conversation was definitely taking a turn down an ugly road. He pinched the bridge of his nose.
“Please explain to me, Godmother, how getting fake married will help restore the love in Ever After?”
“I thought you’d never ask.” Jonquil perked. “See, it’s a publicity stunt. That’s what you call it, right? All the press with billionaire chocolate magnate getting married in Ever After, Missouri, quintessential small-town USA. If you do it, others will do it, too. We have a whole plan. Turn the castle into a B and B, hire a team of wedding planners, magical caterers . . . it will be the best thing ever. People will flock to get married in a fairy-tale
town. Especially after seeing yours done right on Valentine’s Day. It doesn’t get any more romantic than that.”
“Don’t you run the risk of exposure?”
“That’s the genius part. Everyone will just think it’s part of the kitsch. People will get the real fairy-tale weddings to celebrate their love, and we’ll get to thrive again.”
“If I agree to this, I assume you already have a bride picked out?”
“Oh yes. She’s beautiful, and it’s a perfect second-chance romance.”
“Second chance?” His eyes narrowed.
“The papers are going to love it.”
“Oh no.”
“Oh yes.”
“No.”
“You don’t even know who I’m talking about.” Jonquil rolled her eyes.
“Yes, I do. Lucky.” He said her name like a curse.
Jonquil gave a delicate cough. “Maybe you do. But listen. It’s time for both of you to forgive each other.”
Was it possible she hadn’t forgiven him after all of this time? He’d forgiven her for telling everyone about it. Although, he supposed . . .
“I have forgiven her.”
“Have you? Then why haven’t you spoken to her?”
“To be fair, she hasn’t spoken to me, either.”
“The last time you spoke, what did you say to her?” Jonquil gave him a stern look with a raised brow.
He’d swear that woman could stare down the worst criminal and make him confess with only that look.
“We tried to let you two work this out on your own. We can’t help too much. Especially since we’re low on magic, but by the gods, you two are the single most stubborn creatures on earth. I could push a recalcitrant donkey up Everest before I could get either of you to do what I want.”
“Maybe what you want isn’t what we want.”
Jonquil snorted. “Of course, it is. You just have to realize it. I’m the fairy godmother, remember? I know things.”
“Well, she said some mean things to me, too.”
“She did.” Jonquil nodded. “But is that how we deal with being called out on our behavior? Hmmm?”
Ransom sighed. He hated being treated like a kid, but she was right. “You’re right. No, what I did was wrong, regardless of what she did. Her actions are a separate topic, and we can address them after I make amends for what I did,” he recited.
A Hilarious and Charming Feel-Good Read Page 2