A Cowboy State of Mind

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A Cowboy State of Mind Page 31

by Jennie Marts


  “Hi. Sorry to interrupt the banquet, but I’ve got some stuff I need to tell you and to tell her.” He nodded to Bryn. “For those of you who don’t know me, my name is Zane Taylor. I grew up in this town. Then I left the second I was old enough to get away. I’ve spent the last several years of my life running away from this town and the people and the memories in it. But it wasn’t until I came back that I finally found something worth staying for.”

  He swallowed. “Which is why I’m standin’ on this stage, making a fool of myself in front of you-all. Because I’ve already acted a fool, and this is the only way I know to fix it. I’ve spent my life trying to blend into the woodwork, which is why I needed to stand up in front of all of you and tell this woman how I feel. It’s that important. I’m no public speaker. I hope you can’t see how bad my hands are shaking. I’m a pretty tough guy. I can stare down a pissed-off stallion, but I’ve never done anything like this.”

  He pointed to his cheek. “This scar, the one you all know my dad gave me, reminded me every day that I am garbage even my own father didn’t value. So, often, I hide my face. But then I met Bryn, and she looked at me.” He swallowed, his mouth dry. “And she loved me despite my scars. She saw through the mangled tissue and shredded skin and saw someone worthy of love.”

  He let go of her hand and took off his hat. He set it on the podium, then brushed back his hair as he lifted his face to the audience. Other than the soft gasp that went up from the crowd, the rest of the room was deadly silent.

  Bryn couldn’t breathe. She was awed and humbled at the same time.

  “I’ve spent the better part of the last several months doing my damnedest to screw up the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I’ve always seen myself as broken and pushed others away.” He turned to face Bryn. “Especially you. I keep trying to push you away from me and toward what I think is best for you. That stops tonight. Right now. As of this moment, I stop pushing and start trying to become what is best for you—someone worthy of the love you’re offering.”

  She pulled the award to her chest, pressing against the tingling sensation surrounding her heart. Her stomach swooped and churned. He’d hurt her, broken her heart, and made her doubt him the last few days, but she could see the sincerity in his words and actions. She knew it took guts for him to come up here and bare his soul.

  “You were honored here tonight for your efforts to rescue animals that couldn’t rescue themselves,” he continued. “I feel like I should be included in that flock. For the first time, because of you, I feel like a man worth saving.”

  He looked at her—not just at her, but into her very soul. “I told you when we were out at the lake that the falling is easy, and it has been. Falling in love with you has been the easiest thing I’ve ever done. The fallin’ was simple, but the jumpin’ is what takes the strength of will.”

  He paused and picked up her hand again. “So, Bryn Callahan, and half the town of Creedence, this is me jumping. I’ve turned down the job in Montana. I’m staying right here, so you-all can get used to seeing me and my dog, Hope, around town. And with Bryn. If she’ll have me.

  “I can’t promise I’ll be perfect. Hell, I can pretty much promise that I won’t be perfect. I’m battered and bruised, but I’m strong and I’m sticking. I’m not going anywhere. Bryn, I want you more than anything I’ve ever wanted in my life. I want to wake up in the morning next to you and fall asleep every night with you in my arms. I want to help you run that ranch full of misfit, unwanted animals and help you find homes for all of them. Because that’s what you’ve done for this misfit man—you’ve given me a home.”

  Bryn shook her head and let out a shaky laugh. “You really are jumpin’, aren’t you?”

  “With both feet,” he told her with all the sincerity he could muster. “Or in this case, with just one knee.” He took a deep breath and sank to one knee.

  Bryn’s knuckles went white as her fingers clutched the award tighter and tears sprang to her eyes. Her sharp inhale of breath was swallowed up in the gasp of surprise from the audience. The banquet had ended, but not one person had moved from their seat.

  Zane reached into his pocket and pulled out a cheap, adjustable ring with a glittery blue butterfly affixed to it. He offered her an impish grin and held the ring up to her. “I got this for you last week as kind of an inside joke, because we’d been talking about butterfly wings. I’ve been carrying it around ever since, and now I want to use it to ask you to marry me. You don’t have to say yes right now. Or even next week or next month. I’ll buy you a diamond—hell, I’ll buy you whatever you want. But for now, all I have to give you is this ring and a promise that I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I’m a patient man, and I can wait for as long as it takes to prove to you that I’m worth giving your heart to.”

  She let go of his hand and held her palm up. “Stop. Zane. Stop.”

  Another hush fell over the room.

  She let out a shuddering breath. “You don’t have to say anything more. And you don’t have to prove you’re worth giving my heart to.”

  He gave a hard nod as his eyes cut to the floor, and his lips pulled into a tight line.

  She reached out, lifted his chin, and looked into his eyes. “You’ve already proven it a thousand times over. And I don’t have to give you my heart now because my heart has belonged to you since the day you bought me that horse.”

  She watched him swallow against the emotion engulfing him. “Yeah?”

  “Yeah.” She nodded as she took in a breath, knowing she needed to make him see that she had changed as well. “I’m not perfect either. But over the last few weeks, I’ve discovered some things about myself too. From the time my mom abandoned my brother and me on our grandparents’ doorstep, I swore to take care of him. And I’ve always felt that if I were taking care of everyone else, that it would somehow make me someone worth taking care of. But I’ve recently discovered that I don’t need anyone to come in and take care of me. I’m actually a pretty strong woman, and I can do things I never dreamed I could. In saving all these animals, I’ve found that I can also save myself. In offering them a home, I’ve created my own home and I want to share it with you.” She peered at the glittery butterfly and grinned. “I love this ring. It’s perfect. I’m just waiting for you to actually ask me the question that goes with it.”

  He grinned, and her heart fluttered like the wings of a million butterflies. “Bryn Callahan, would you do me the honor of becoming my wife? Will you marry me?”

  She smiled down at him, at the face she loved, the face she wanted to wake up to every day and fall asleep to every night. The face she wanted to see in their children. “Yes.”

  A cheer went up from the crowd as Zane pushed to his feet and wrapped his arms around her. He twirled her in a hug and pressed his face to her neck.

  Setting her down, he picked up her hand and slid the butterfly ring onto her finger. His face wore the goofiest grin. “Now that we’ve settled that, grab your purse, darlin’, and let’s go get our dog.”

  * * *

  The next morning, Bryn woke to an empty bed. Well, not completely empty. A three-legged dog was curled by her feet. But no Zane.

  The smell of coffee filled the air though, so she wrapped herself in her short fuzzy robe and stuffed her feet into slippers and went in search of her fiancé. He wasn’t in the kitchen, but a note saying he was out working with the horses lay next to an empty cup. He’d drawn a heart at the bottom of the note. Dang, he was a changed man.

  She filled her cup and took it out to the porch, smiling down at the blue blanket Hope lay curled on in a patch of sunshine. Tiny stood in the front yard, munching on a mouthful of grass. In the corral, Zane sat astride the gray horse, his feet tucked into the stirrups as he put the horse through its paces. Bryn’s chest tightened and her heart sang at the sight of him.

  A row of pansies
lined the walkway from the porch, and she picked one and inhaled the sweet scent. Tiny crossed to her, and she gave the pig a scratch, then tucked the pansy behind the sow’s ear.

  The pig followed her as she crossed the driveway. Bryn climbed up to stand on the first rung and she leaned over the fence. “Good morning, cowboy,” she called.

  He rode toward her, a huge grin on his face. “Good mornin’, darlin’.” He peered down at Tiny. “Is that a flower behind that pig’s ear?”

  Bryn laughed. “Yep. She was feeling festive this morning. I told her we were gettin’ married, and I think she wants to be considered for the flower girl.”

  He chuckled with her. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

  She glanced down at the gray horse, the sun shining off its coat making him look even lighter than usual. “You know you told me once you’d never be the guy who rode up on a white horse to save the day, but you were wrong. This ranch seems to be the place to rescue things, and the horse might not be exactly white, but you’ve rescued me.”

  “Nah, you rescued yourself.”

  She grinned. “I like the way you think. Let’s agree we rescued each other. That way I can still see you as a charming prince.”

  He shook his head. “You and your fairy tales. Just don’t be disappointed when you realize I’m still more like the beast than any kind of prince.”

  She wiggled her shoulder and offered him a seductive smile. “Maybe I like a little beast in my charming prince.”

  He chuckled and held out his hand. “Wanna go for a ride?”

  She grinned coyly. “Yes.”

  He laughed again. “I meant on the horse.”

  “Okay, we can do that first.” She set her coffee on the fence post, then took his hand and let him pull her onto the horse in front of him. She snuggled against his chest. “I do love you.”

  “I do love you too.”

  “I’m sorry it was so hard for us to get here.”

  He took her chin and tilted her face toward his. His voice was deep and his eyes full of love and sincerity. “Honey, ‘I’m sorry’ are two words you never have to say to me.”

  She swallowed and smiled as she blinked back tears.

  “Now like any good fairy-tale ending, we are going to dramatically ride off into the sunset.” He pulled the reins and turned the horse toward the mountains.

  “That’s the sunrise.”

  She felt the rumble of laughter in his chest. “We’ve done everything else in this fairy tale backward. Why stop now?”

  The End…

  …and just the beginning…

  Acknowledgments

  As always, my love and thanks goes out to my family! Todd, thanks for always believing in me and for being the real life role model of a romantic hero. You cherish me and make me laugh every day and the words it would take to truly thank you would fill a book on their own. I love you. Always.

  I can’t thank my editor, Deb Werksman, enough for believing in me and this book, for loving Zane and Bryn and for making this story so much better with your amazing editing skills. I appreciate everything you do to help make the town of Creedence and the motley crew of farmyard animals come to life. Thanks to my project editor, Susie Benton for all your encouragement and support, and a HUGE thanks to Dawn Adams for this amazing cover and every other awesome cover you’ve given me! I love being part of the Sourcebooks Sisterhood, and I offer buckets of thanks to the whole Sourcebooks Casablanca team for all of your efforts and hard work in making this book happen.

  A big thank you to my parents—all of them. I appreciate everything you do and am so thankful for your support of this crazy writing career. Thanks to my mom, Lee Cumba, for so many lunches where we talk writing and plots. And thanks to my step-mom, Gracie Bryant, for your encouragement and support, and to my dad, Bill Bryant, for spending hours giving me ranching and farming advice, plot ideas, and guiding me through some of the tough aspects of rescuing horses.

  Special thanks goes out to Drs. Rebecca and Corbin Hodges, my sister and brother-in-law, who are always willing to listen and offer sound veterinarian council on my farmyard crew of animals. Special thanks to Corbin for spending an hour patiently helping me work through the hard scenes with Hope getting hit by the car and her subsequent stay in the clinic.

  Ginormous thanks goes out to my plotting partner and dear friend, Kristin Miller. The time and energy you take to run through plot ideas with me is invaluable! Your friendship and writing support means the world to me—I couldn’t do this writing thing without you!

  I have to thank Anne Eliot and Ginger Scott, for the fabulously fun night of laughter and brilliance that we spent in Denver, drinking milk shakes and hammering out plot ideas for this book! You gals are the best!

  Huge shout out thanks to my agent, Nicole Resciniti at The Seymour Agency, for your advice and your guidance. You are the best, and I’m so thankful you are part of my tribe.

  Special acknowledgment goes out to the women who walk this writing journey with me every single day. The ones who make me laugh, who encourage and support, who offer great advice and sometimes just listen. Thank you Michelle Major, Lana Williams, Anne Eliot, Ginger Scott, Cindy Skaggs, and Beth Rhodes. XO

  Big thanks goes out to my street team, Jennie’s Page Turners, and for all of my readers: the people who have been with me from the start, my loyal readers, my dedicated fans, the ones who have read my stories, who have laughed and cried with me, who have fallen in love with my heroes and have clamored for more! Whether you have been with me since the first book or just discovered me with this book, know that I write these stories for you, and I can’t thank you enough for reading them. Sending love, laughter, and big Colorado hugs to you all!

  Keep reading for an excerpt from the first book in Jennie Marts’s sweet and sexy Cowboys of Creedence series! These hockey-playing cowboys are hot enough to melt the ice, and your heart.

  Available now from Sourcebooks Casablanca

  Chapter 1

  Bits of gravel flew behind the tires of the convertible, and Rockford James swore as he turned onto the dirt road leading to the Triple J Ranch. Normally, he enjoyed coming home for a visit, especially in the late spring when everything was turning green and the wildflowers were in bloom, but not this spring—not when he was coming home with both his pride and his body badly injured.

  His spirits lifted and the corners of his mouth tugged up in a grin as he drew even with what appeared to be a pirate riding a child’s bicycle along the shoulder of the road. A gorgeous female pirate—one with long blond hair and great legs.

  Legs he recognized.

  Legs that belonged to the only woman who had ever stolen his heart.

  Nine years ago, Quinn Rivers had given him her heart as well. Too bad he’d broken it. Not exactly broken—more like smashed, crushed, and shattered it into a million tiny pieces. According to her anyway.

  He slowed the car, calling out as he drew alongside her. Her outfit consisted of a flimsy little top that bared her shoulders under a snug corset vest and a short, frilly striped skirt. She wore some kind of sheer white knee socks, and one of them had fallen and pooled loosely around her ankle. “Ahoy there, matey. You lose your ship?”

  Keeping her eyes focused on the road, she stuck out her hand and offered him a gesture unbecoming of a lady—pirate or otherwise. Then her feet stilled on the pedals as she must have registered his voice. “Ho-ly crap. You have got to be freaking kidding me.”

  Bracing her feet on the ground, she turned her head, brown eyes flashing with anger. “And here I thought my day couldn’t get any worse. What the hell are you doing here, Rock?”

  He stopped the car next to her, then draped his arm over the steering wheel, trying to appear cool. Even though his heart pounded against his chest from the fact that he was seeing her again. She had this way of getting under his skin; she was just so damn be
autiful. Even wearing a pirate outfit. “Hey, now. Is that any way to speak to an old friend?”

  “I don’t know. I’ll let you know when I run into one.”

  Ouch. He’d hoped she wasn’t still that bitter about their breakup. They’d been kids, barely out of high school. But they’d been together since they were fourteen, his conscience reminded him, and they’d made plans to spend their future together.

  But that was before he got the full-ride scholarship and the NHL started scouting him.

  And he had tried.

  Yeah, keep telling yourself that, buddy.

  Okay, he probably hadn’t tried hard enough. But he’d been young and dumb and swept up in the fever and glory of finally having his dreams of pursuing a professional hockey career coming true.

  With that glory came attention and fame and lots of travel with the team where cute puck bunnies were ready and willing to show their favorite players a good time.

  He hadn’t cheated on Quinn, but he came home less often and didn’t make the time for texts and calls. He’d gone to college first while she finished her senior year, and by the time he did come home the next summer, he’d felt like he’d outgrown their relationship, and her, and had suggested they take a mini break.

  Which turned into an actual break, of both their relationship and Quinn’s heart.

  But it had been almost nine years since he’d left; they’d been kids, and that kind of stuff happened all the time. Since then, he hadn’t made it home a lot and had run into her only a handful of times. In fact, he probably hadn’t seen her in over a year.

  But he’d thought of her. Often. And repeatedly wondered if he’d made the right choice by picking the fame and celebrity of his career and letting go of her.

  Sometimes, those summer days spent with Quinn seemed like yesterday, but really, so much had happened—in both of their lives—that it felt like a lifetime ago.

 

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