by Eric Ugland
"Foot in stirrup. Then leg over saddle."
"It's the moving weight on my head that's making this problematic."
"Snüt," Hamilton barked. "Horse."
Snüt hopped off me, shoving my face into the horse's hot flank, and landed on the back of the horse I was trying to mount. It made the horse a little nervous, but Hamilton made a sort of shushing sound, and the horse calmed right down.
Then, embarrassing myself only slightly more, I got onto the horse, my feet in the stirrups, and I held on. But as soon as I was in place, Snüt hopped back on my shoulder.
"Toss me your reins," Hamilton said. "And hold on."
I did so. Notably, so did Snüt. Which meant his claws were digging into me.
Hamilton kicked his horse, and we were off.
We burst out the big stable doors and galloped across the stones of the courtyard, creating an awful racket. The guards at the gate looked up, but by the time they got weapons around, we were crashing down on them, thousands of pounds of trained warhorse crushing the feeble humans. And then we were out, careening down the streets.
Chapter 198
Here's the thing: riding horses is definitely the best way to move through Glaton. Barring any magical means, of course. But riding is incredibly uncomfortable. At least for an untrained idiot like me. And no amount of begging Snüt got him to let go. I managed to guide us, from behind Hamilton and his horse, through the twisty streets of Old Town to the backyard of the bakery, and through the stable.
I was expecting one carriage to be in the backyard, the still-to-be-fixed-up KidnapWagon, but there was a second coach there. One much nicer than our cage on wheels, one with the Imperial crest on it. It was, in fact, the one I'd taken a ride in that day.
"What's that doing here?" Hamilton asked.
"I have a friend in the Royal Family."
"Good friend to have.”
"I think so."
We put the horses in the stable, and by we I mean that Hamilton took the saddles off, brushed them down, and put the horses in the stable. Thankfully, he peeled the griffon off of me, and let Snüt attach to himself.
Five minutes of quick work, and he was ready to go, hand on the hilt of his saber.
"You need a minute?" I asked.
"For what?" he asked.
"Grieving your friends?"
He stared at me. Then his eyes flitted away for a half second before returning, harder than before.
"It will be a thing I do on my own time," he said. "In my own time. Take me to my brother, or take me to the next hurdle between my brother and me.”
"This way," I said.
We went through the back door of the bakery. As soon as we were inside, I heard voices inside the kitchen. Light leaked out under the door.
I pointed to the kitchen door, and mimed walking quietly.
Hamilton nodded, and drew his saber from his sheath.
I had my KrakenTooth dagger out, and let mana flow down my arm. I was reasonably sure it'd just be Nadya talking to Matthew or something, but I didn’t want to take chances.
Three feet from the door, and it opened, light spilling out into bakery as a whole, blinding me.
"Clyde?!" Nadya cried, and someone, her, threw their arms around me in a tight embrace.
I got my eyes open and blinked a few times before I realized what was going on. It was almost exactly like what had happened after I’d returned from being killed over and over again. All the people I knew were gathered in the bakery’s kitchen planning what to do because I’d gotten lost.
"People, meet Hamilton," I said. "Hamilton, I think your brother is here somewhere."
Congratulations! You’ve completed a QUEST!
Rebuild the Guild VIII - Godfrey Hayles
You convinced Godfrey’s brother, Hamilton, to leave the Thingmen and join his family.
Reward for success: Godfrey will join the guild
Nice. That made eight. I could take my time finishing off Matthew's quest.
Chapter 199
It took a few minutes to get everything sorted out, but before long we had the whole group, as it were, down in the Heavy Purse. My whole prospective guild was there.
Titus and his wife Penelope were behind the bar, as per usual. Nadya and Shae were at opposite ends of the bar, with Klara sitting next to Shae. Mornax, Lothar, Nox, and Leofing were at a table, pulling apart a steaming roast chicken. Godfrey and Hamilton sat next to each other at the bar, looking so alike at the moment that it was disconcerting. Twins, man. And finally, Matthew stood by the fire, arms crossed.
I pulled over a chair, and stood on it.
"Friends," I said. "Before we get to anything this evening, uh, this is a bit sappy, so I'll keep it short. You're the best family I've had yet. Thank you."
It was a muted response for a second before Leofing roared his approval. That seemed to break the seal, and everyone else at least clapped. It wasn't an overwhelming response, but, you know, it was something.
"That said," I continued, "tonight marks the inaugural meeting of our new, old guild. We are devoted to the betterment of Glaton through any means necessary — legal and illegal, below-ground or above-ground, violent and non-violent. We will use what tools we have to forge our way forward. Tonight, we become the Skull and Thrones."
"Good name," Leofing said.
There were some other nods in the group, but most important to me, Matthew's mouth curled up at the ends in the start of a little smile.
Notice - you have changed the name of the Guild: The Biscuit’s Union to the Skull and Thrones.
"And with that, let's get you all set up as members in good standing. Leofing, I welcome you to the Skull and Thrones as a full-fledged member."
Alert, your guild The Skull and Thrones has a new member.
Total members: 5
Members in good standing: 1
A few claps.
"Nadya Glaton, I welcome you to the Skull and Thrones as a full-fledged member."
Alert, your guild The Skull and Thrones has a new member.
Total members: 6
Members in good standing: 2
"Shae, I welcome you to the Skull and Thrones as a full-fledged member."
"Titus, I welcome you to the Skull and Thrones as a full-fledged member."
Then Penelope
And then Hamilton, which got me an eyebrow raise from Godfrey, but did manage to complete the quest for Hamilton.
Congratulations! You’ve completed a QUEST!
Rebuild the Guild X - Hamilton Hayes
You brought Hamilton into the guild prior to initiating Godfrey.
Reward for success: Hamilton will join the guild
Then Godfrey. And finally Lothar.
Alert, your guild The Skull and Thrones has a new member.
Total members: 11
Members in good standing: 8
Eight members. I did it.
Congratulations! You’ve completed a QUEST!
Rebuild the Guild
You successfully rebuilt your guild to the minimum size a guild can be. Should you ever drop below eight members in good standing again, you will have seven days to regain the minimum.
Reward: 10000 XP, 100 Guild Points
10,000 XP?
I checked my notifications, and there was definitely no level-up. Something weird was going on, and I needed to figure out exactly what. Also, 100 guild points. I needed to dig into what that meant, how I could use the points to make the guild better. Or even what they could do. I watched as everyone read over their character sheets, and smiled. Well, everyone but Matthew. He was just looking at me and smirking. I hopped off the chair and walked over to him.
"I'm sorry, " I said, "I just couldn't complete your quest in time."
"I get it. It's a tough quest. I didn't set it up to be easy. But finding a way around a hard quest, that's smart of you."
"I have a good teacher."
"Not sure how much longer you're going to be needing what I'm
capable of teaching."
“Oh, probably a long while."
"No need to blow sunshine up and around my nether regions, boy,” he said. "You ain't getting rid of me any time soon. Rent's too good here. And you got me too curious about how things are going to play out. I'm with you, kid."
Quest Altered and Completed.
Rebuild the Guild II - Mathew Gallifrey
Matthew will join your guild.
“Matthew,” I said quietly, “I welcome you as a full-fledged member.”
Alert, your guild The Skull and Thrones has a new member.
Total members: 12
Members in good standing: 9
And that felt good. I felt good. I felt like I'd really done something. I felt accomplished. I could have just let the guild die. It wouldn't really have changed much for me — maybe it would have even made my life easier, but I'm not sure it would have made anything better. The tavern was filled with friends, and on this rainy night, with a warm and crackling fire, I felt happy and hopeful. Nadya was smiling at me, and there was a real warmth in my heart.
Naturally, that was the moment the biggest window exploded inward.
Chapter 200
Four figures burst through the glass. They had daggers out and wore black armor over their bodies.
They were screaming and charging for me.
Faster than I could see, Leofing was up, and ripped his sword from his scabbard with such force that he cut off the upper third of one poor fool's torso. Lothar brought a chair down on the second man's head, and Mornax, for his part, was in the midst of tackling the third.
Only the fourth man managed to reach me. He slammed a knife into my chest, and since I didn’t die immediately, I assumed it didn’t puncture my heart.
His hot and fetid breath rushed out of the mask.
"We can reach you anywhere,” he said, in English. "Any time."
Then his head was removed from his body.
Leofing. There's definitely something chilling about a fighter that high a level.
Gently, at least as gently as he could, he pulled the dagger out of my chest, and laid his hands on me. I felt a gentle warmth spread about my body, and I got to watch my hitpoints slowly heading back in the right direction.
Matthew and Titus ran outside with lanterns, looking to see if any other attackers were there.
"Don't bother," I said, taking a deep breath. "And thank you Leofing. Saved my butt there."
“’Tis my job," he replied, a wide grin spreading out underneath his beard. "I like my job."
"There won't be more of them," I said. "Not tonight. This was just a message."
"From?" Matthew asked, coming back inside.
Godfrey and Hamilton were lifting a table in place to block the window. I'm not sure that it was planned to work that way, that the tables were the correct size to fill broken windows, but it certainly was useful.
"Iron Silents," I replied.
"They had four of their members killed to send a message?" Matthew said. "What's the message? That they have too many members?"
"No," I said. "It's more complicated than that." I took a very deep breath and reconsidered what I was about to do. Because it seemed like a very bad idea. But I couldn't hide the truth any longer. I needed to tell someone, and if I wasn't going to trust this group of people, what the hell was I doing here?
"What's going on then?" Nadya asked.
"There's something I need to tell you," I said. "About where I'm from."
About the Author
Eric Ugland ran away from Seattle to join the circus. And then he came to his senses, and moved to Manhattan to be a playwright. Now he's a novelist in Oregon, trapped by trees and snow and bears. Mostly bears.
The Bad Guys is a continuing LitRPG series I’m writing in the world of iNcarn8. My other series, The Good Guys, takes place in the same world. Join my reader group and be the first to know when new books come out.
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Contents
Also by Eric Ugland
Part I
1. Scamps and Scoundrels
1. Chapter 2
2. Chapter 3
3. Chapter 4
4. Chapter 5
5. Chapter 6
6. Chapter 7
7. Chapter 8
8. Chapter 9
9. Chapter 10
10. Chapter 11
11. Chapter 12
12. Chapter 13
13. Chapter 14
14. Chapter 15
15. Chapter 16
16. Chapter 17
17. Chapter 18
18. Chapter 19
19. Chapter 20
20. Chapter 21
21. Chapter 22
22. Chatper 23
23. Chapter 24
24. Chapter 25
25. Chapter 26
26. Chapter 27
27. Chapter 28
28. Chapter 29
29. Chapter 30
30. Chapter 31
31. Chapter 32
32. Chapter 33
33. Chapter 34
34. Chapter 35
35. Chapter 36
36. Chapter 37
37. Chapter 38
38. Chapter 39
39. Chapter 40
40. Chapter 41
41. Chapter 42
42. Chapter 43
43. Chapter 44
44. Chapter 45
45. Chapter 46
46. Chapter 47
47. Chapter 48
48. Chapter 49
49. Chapter 50
50. Chapter 51
51. Chapter 52
52. Chapter 53
53. Chapter 54
54. Chapter 55
55. Chapter 56
56. Chapter 57
57. Chapter 58
58. Chapter 59
59. Chapter 60
60. Chapter 61
61. Chapter 62
62. Chapter 63
63. Chapter 64
64. Chapter 65
65. Chapter 66
66. Chapter 67
67. Chapter 68
68. Chapter 69
69. Chapter 70
70. Chapter 71
71. Chapter 72
72. Chapter 73
73. Chapter 74
74. Chapter 75
75. Chapter 76
Part II
2. Second Story Man
76. Chapter 78
77. Chapter 79
78. Chapter 80
79. Chapter 81
80. Chapter 82
81. Chapter 83
82. Chapter 84
83. Chapter 85
84. Chapter 86
85. Chapter 87
86. Chapter 88
87. Chapter 89
88. Chapter 90
89. Chapter 91
90. Chapter 92
91. Chapter 93
92. Chapter 94
93. Chapter 95
94. Chapter 96
95. Chapter 97
96. Chapter 98
97. Chapter 99
98. Chapter 100
99. Chapter 101
100. Chapter 102
101. Chapter 103
102. Chapter 104
103. Chapter 105
104. Chapter 106
105. Chapter 107
106. Chapter 108
107. Chapter 109
108. Chapter 110
109. Chapter 111
110. Chapter 112
111. Chapter 113
112. Chapter 114
113. Chapter 115
114. Chapter 116
115. Chapter 117
116. Chapter 118