by Ambere Sabo
I understand that too. No one should have to go through something like that to begin with, let alone purposely relive it.
“I went into the system until Pops was cleared for the murder. They ruled it a justifiable homicide, but only after the judge got my statement and the one from the shrink. Texas justice and all that.”
I’ve seen a lot of Texas justice over the years myself. Even dispense of some when I have too. Part of an Enforcer’s job and all. I watch her out of the corner of my eye. The cherry of her cigarette glowed brightly as she took a deep drag. Even tear stained and battered by the weight of her memories, she is so damn beautiful. I shake myself out of a trance to focus on the words coming from her lips.
“It wasn’t something people wanted to believe at first. It was easier for them to think Russel’s brother, from the wrong side of the law, killed him, and his kid was lying to cover it up. It helped that he ultimately got labeled a dirty cop. Now I wonder if he really was or if Martinez just set Russel up to take the wrap for the shit he did. Now that I know about what all happened with your mama that is. They said Russel was working with some cartel, dealing drugs and smuggling girls.” She takes a couple more drags of her cigarette. The pause in her talking tempts me to ask her a thousand questions. But I can tell she isn’t finished talking, so I bite down on them. I don’t want her to stop talking until she’s ready.
“With what happened to me, the smuggling girls wasn’t that far of a reach for anyone. So they just took Martinez’s word for it, and it was done. No one even questioned why he didn’t turn Russel in before all the shit with me went down. I always wondered about that. If he was such a good cop, you’d think he would’ve said something sooner if he thought his partner was dirty.”
“Yeah, you’d think that. Bet some other people thought that too.”
“I know Martinez saw Pops after he got released from county. He gave Pops a heads up that the department was building a case against the club for the drugs and hired killings. Told him if he didn’t want me to end up back in the system then he needed to tighten up his house. After that, the guns were run out of Blue Bells. And the drug running and hired killings stopped altogether.”
“I bet the older members didn’t take too kindly to that,” I interject.
“No… no, they didn’t. Some of them made my life a living hell when I came to live at the clubhouse. All they saw was some girl they didn’t know anything about, causing them to lose out on money. As if that was my fault, to begin with.”
I could only imagine the hell they put her through when their income supply was cut down. A hell I know she didn’t deserve. Just more for her to endure. My respect for this beautiful piece of trouble keeps ratcheting up notches at a time. That could be a problem. “How was it moving into the clubhouse?”
“Well, I may have lived in the clubhouse, but for the first year, I pretty much stayed to myself. Only coming out of my room to go to school and to eat. I stopped playing ball and cheering. They didn’t make me happy like they had before. When I wasn’t in school, the only person who talked to me most days was Havoc.”
A smile tips her lips up at the mention of him. Jealousy swirls in my gut. I want to make her smile like that.
“His mama and mine were friends since before we were born, so we’d been playing together since before we could walk. After his parents split, Havoc’s dad forced his mama to give him custody. Threatened all kinds of shit to get it, too.”
I wrack my brain for what I know of Havoc’s dad. Not much good, that’s for sure.
“His dad, Wrecker, has been a member of The Reapers for decades. Mean as hell. He only wanted Havoc because out of all the kids he’s got out there, Havoc is the only one that carries his last name. His only son. He never let his daughters carry his name. They all have their mama’s.”
“Damn, that’s harsh.”
“Yeah, though the girls are probably better off without Wrecker. I’m thankful Havoc was there though. I don’t know if I could’ve made it through living in the clubhouse without him,” she tosses the cigarette onto the ground before turning to me and saying, “I’m going to try to catch some sleep. You staying?”
“Yeah, if I don’t Prez or Havoc will have my balls. Hell, probably both of them,” I joke. A weak smile lightens her features as we head back into the house.
Walking into the living room, she points to the couch that is now made up for me to sleep on. “I figured you’d be staying, so I made up the sleeper for you. There are clean towels in the bathroom if you need a shower.” With that, she heads back down the hall to the bedroom, leaving the door to her room cracked.
I sit on the edge of the bed and kick off my boots. Today’s been a day straight out of hell. Never in a million years did I expect to see that bastard again.
He needs a bullet in his fucking head. I need to put it there. Maybe I’ll finally have the chance to make him pay. But with everything that’s come out about his bastard partner, I know the bullet will have to wait. And if he had a hand in what happened to Cessy’s pops, she deserves to know. Which means, for now, the bastard needs to keep on breathing until she get’s her answers. No matter how badly I want that fucker dead.
I strip out of my cut and jeans before climbing into bed. Coming here, I thought there’d be no way in hell I’d get any sleep tonight but, as I settle in exhaustion hits and I don’t have the will to fight it.
Chapter 10
Cessy
All I see is red. I’m covered in blood. His blood. His head is on my stomach. That’s how his body fell. Brain matter pools there. Pops is saying something. But I can’t hear him. All I can focus on is the blood covering my body. Then I start to scream.
A touch startles me. I jolt up and start swinging. My mind is still trapped in that hell.
“Shit!” someone yells. A click sounds before blinding light from the bedside table fills the darkness. Once my vision comes into focus, I see Venom holding his jaw. He must’ve been trying to wake me. Fuck! I burst into tears.
“Hey, hey it’s okay. I’ve got a hard head. No harm done,” he jokes as he pulls me to his chest, still rubbing his jaw. “It was just a nightmare, Cessy. You’re okay. I’ve got you,” he soothes as he sits next to me letting me cry out all my emotions. I don’t know how long he rocks me before I stop crying. I should be embarrassed by the tears, but I can’t bring myself to care tonight. It’ll keep until tomorrow.
“You good?” he questions with a look of genuine concern written on his face. I nod, unable to find my voice. “Okay, I’ll let you try to get back to sleep.” He starts to rise from the bed to leave.
“Stay,” I whisper. He looks at me questioningly, probably wondering if he heard me right. “Please stay with me. I won’t be able to get back to sleep by myself,” I admit, hating feeling as weak as I do right now.
“Cessy, I don’t know if that’s such a good idea,” he says.
I know he doesn’t want to be mixed up in my shit, but I’ve been running on empty since Pops’ death. With everything that happened today, I just need to get some fucking sleep, or I’ll be no good to anyone.
“Please, just until I fall back to sleep,” I plead.
“Okay,” he concedes.
I scoot over to the side of the bed making room for him to lie down with me. He opens his arms so I can put my head on his chest. His heart beats steadily beneath my ear as his fingers drag through the tresses of my hair. The rhythm of it all has me falling back into a dreamless sleep.
“You son of a bitch!” fills the silent air that cocoons me. The shout jolts me wide awake. I jump up from my position on the bed, where I was practically wrapped around Venom.
A smile plays across my lips. He stayed. He must’ve fallen asleep after I did and didn’t make it back to the couch.
Looking over, I meet Havoc's heated glare. He charges the bed just as Venom jumps up trying to calm him down. One look down and Havoc is swinging, hitting Venom in the jaw before I can jump up to get bet
ween them.
“I trusted you,” Havoc screams while trying to reach Venom around me. He could easily swing and hit him over the top of my head, but I know he won’t make a move if he thinks I could somehow get hit at the same time.
“Havoc calm the fuck down. We were just sleeping. Nothing happened,” I yell while trying to push him back towards the door. Not that it's actually working.
“Nothing,” he scoffs, “that doesn’t look like nothing, Cess.” He gestures down towards Venom’s impressive morning wood.
Damn. I swallow hard, then turn my head quickly.
“Tell me you haven’t ever woken up with a hard-on after holding her all night,” Venom hollers back while rubbing his jaw.
Havoc tries to step around me so he can get a clear shot at his brother. Jesus Christ! Men are fucking idiots!
“Venom! You’re not helping your case right now,” I admonish. My hands press hard against Havoc’s chest as I try to keep him from killing Venom. I put all my weight into pushing him back.
“What the fuck is it with the two of you and my jaw?” Venom shouts.
Venom’s outburst makes Havoc pause in his assault. With Havoc no longer pushing forward, I lose my footing and almost fall flat on my face. He glances in my direction, confused as hell. Maybe he would shut up long enough for me to explain.
“I had a nightmare last night. When Venom tried to wake me, I clocked him in the jaw. He stayed with me, at my request, so that I could fall back to sleep,” I admit. A look of defeat crosses Havoc's face, and he loses all his fight.
“Shit. I’m sorry, Cess. I should’ve been here, but I was up with Snoopy most of the night. We were trying to figure out where Martinez has been and how he’s connected with Loki,” he says running a hand through his hair.
Blowing out a breath he looks at Venom sheepishly and apologizes, “Sorry man. In my defense, it didn’t look good.” He gestures to a very half-naked Venom.
I can’t help it, I burst out laughing. They both look at me like I’ve lost my damned mind, as I laugh so hard tears start running down my cheeks.
“Cess, what the fuck?” Havoc asks incredulously.
I’m practically hyperventilating as I choke out, “He,” pointing at Havoc, “taught me how to fight.”
Understanding crosses Venom’s face, “Well that makes a lot of fucking sense,” he grits out. “I’m going to get some ice for my face.” He walks around me as my body still shakes with laughter.
“How ‘bout some pants?” Havoc calls out after him with a chuckle. Venom doesn’t say a word, just flips him the bird as he walks out of the room.
Havoc’s expression turns serious when he looks back at me. “Are you sure you’re good, Cess?” He knows better than anyone that I hate to feel vulnerable. And I usually joke around to cover it up.
“I’ll be better once I get some coffee,” I look up into Havoc’s worried eyes. “But yeah… I’m doing alright,” I admit honestly. I can’t be completely honest with Havoc. I can’t tell him how I felt in Venom’s arms. I don’t know how he’d take it. But in Venom’s arms, I felt completely protected. I don’t think I’ve slept that well since before my mama got sick.
Walking towards the hallway, I tell him, “Let’s go to the kitchen. You can tell us both what you and Snoopy found out last night.”
Fuck, I need some coffee.
I make a beeline to the one thing I upgraded in the cottage. A Ninja Coffee Maker is the only way to go. Mama had a French-press, but fuck if I have time for all that shit when I need my caffeine fix.
I pull down the bag of Dunkin Donuts coffee grounds before asking, “Anyone else want a cup?” They both shake their heads declining. “Your loss,” I say as I put in enough grounds for one extra-large cup instead of a whole pot. Turning, I get out the sugar and creamer.
“I thought you weren’t actually staying here anymore?” Havoc inquires. Standing in the light of my open refrigerator door, he is trying to decide what he wants for breakfast. It's fully stocked, thank fuck, because he still eats like a kid going through puberty, but usually, I only have the necessities here.
“Pops started having me stay here when I wasn’t working at Blue Bells. Wanted me as far away from the club as possible, while he tried to figure out who else was involved with Loki. No one with The Reapers knows this place is here,” I tell him as I grab my cup of hot coffee and put in a little bit of sugar with a ton of creamer. Before sitting down at the table, I grab a few ice cubes to add to it.
Shaking his head while holding a bag of peas to his jaw, Venom remarks, “Want to have some coffee with all that cream?”
“Ha, ha, ha. Very original,” I sass. Like that’s the first time I’ve ever heard that before. I’m certain it won’t be the last time either.
“Be nice to her,” Havoc warns. “She’s liable to shoot you before she’s had her coffee.” He smiles as he continues, “Or punch you in the jaw again.”
He is full-belly laughing when Venom glares at him and says, “Good to know asshole.”
“Don’t start, Havoc,” I scold. “Now that I have my coffee, and can think, what did you and Snoopy find?”
Settling down at the table with a bowl of Captain Crunch, he starts telling us what they found around mouthfuls of his favorite cereal.
“He went back to the murders. Wanted to see what he could find out from that time frame. After everything that happened with Russel and he had been cleared in the IA investigation, Martinez left the force. Claimed that he needed a break from all the chaos. He closed out all his bank accounts and left Texas altogether.”
“That explains why I never really saw him around after he killed my mom,” Venom states. “Where did he go?”
“It was hard to find out much after that honestly. For almost ten years, he was a complete ghost. There’s no paper trail from him at all during that time frame. And believe me, Snoopy tried everything to find information. Even now nothing is in his given name. Jose Martinez ceased to exist six weeks after you came to the clubhouse, Cessy.”
“Russel’s death provided him the perfect cover to dump all his dirty deeds and get out of town,” I muse.
“About five years ago, he reemerged as Caine. He started out in El Paso and has grown his territory to the entire southern half of the state. Snoopy found a little bit of info regarding Porkies like when it was bought and all that shit. But since it was bought with cash, we didn’t get very far with that either. Snoopy finally gave up on finding anything on paper and started talking to other hackers across the state.”
Sipping my coffee, I ponder all this information and try to piece together what any of it has to do with Loki.
“The hackers are where we got most of the information we have to work with. The Mexican cartel definitely backs him, but no one can agree which one he’s affiliated with. So that’s a dead end for now, but Snoopy has some of his friends keeping their ears to the ground for any more information they can find.”
“Why wouldn’t anyone from before recognize him? I sure did. Cops who worked with him had to recognize him too.”
“He keeps a low profile in public. And we think he must have some of the cops in his pocket and they’re covering for him. That on top of the amount of cocaine that has started traveling through town, he must have someone on his payroll. Snoopy is trying to follow that lead right now. Checking bank accounts for large deposits and all that shit. I started to go cross-eyed with all the numbers and gave up.” He munches on a spoonful of cereal.
“You never were fond of math,” I kid.
He scowls at me before continuing, “That’s when I came back over here to let you know where we were. Prez wants to make sure you have someone with you at all times, Cess,” he finishes before pulling the bowl to his mouth to drink the sweet as hell milk. Some things never change.
What the hell? “What the fuck? I am quite capable of taking care of myself,” I yell, slamming my coffee cup on the table.
“Cess, I know you are. But un
til we find out how far Loki is involved with Martinez, we need to make sure you’re safe. We don’t even know who else from The Reapers is involved. You need to stay away until we do,” he says quickly holding his hands up in defense. He knows telling me something like this could get him hit or even shot for that matter.
“The hell I will. Blue Bells is how we’re getting most of our information right now, and it’s my job. I take care of those girls. I won’t let Loki take back over and hurt them again,” I scream. Who the fuck do they think they are telling me what I can do? This is bullshit.
“You know I don’t want those girls to get hurt either, Cess,” Havoc pleads in a soft voice. “But if it’s you or them, I choose you. Please, Cessy. I just want to keep you safe,” Havoc begs.
Before I can say anything else, Venom speaks up, “What if I go to the club with her?”
“What?” Havoc and I ask in unison snapping our attention in his direction. He’s been so quiet, I almost forgot he was here. He does that a lot.
“Look, Cessy is right. We can’t give up the paper trail we have with the missing money.” Looking over at Havoc, I stick my tongue out because I am apparently five years old again. Venom chuckles and continues, “But, Havoc and Prez are right too.”
I scowl at him and prepare to throw a temper tantrum.
Before I can start, Venom continues, “You aren’t safe until we can figure out how deep this rabbit hole goes. Besides I’m sure, some of our brothers would be more than happy to visit Blue Bells for a show,” he says with a smirk. “We have church in a few hours to get them all up to speed anyway. We’ll just have them start spending a little more time there for now. I, however, will be stuck to you like glue,” he directs the last part at me with a pointed look.
Reminding myself of Venom’s horseshoe vote, I am surprised by his offer. I didn’t expect him to want to get involved with Blue Bells. Wracking my brain, I try to remember if I’ve ever even seen him come in. It’s odd that he hasn’t been in. Most of our clientele is from one MC or another, with the occasional cheating husband or tourist. “I thought you didn’t want to get mixed up with my shit?” I question.