by Ambere Sabo
Using the hate for the bastards who took them from me to fuel my agenda, I killed anyone who knew of the hit on my family within days. Over the years, I’d worked my way through every family member those bastards ever had. Showing no mercy to man, woman, or child. They all had to pay for what was taken from me. I didn’t plan to stop until everyone who carried their blood was wiped from this Earth. Then and only then could I follow my love to the grave.
To understand the monster I’ve become, you have to go back to where it all started. The beginning…
Chapter 1
Adan
Twenty-three years ago…
“Why are we moving into their house,” I whine from against the wall as my mother packs the last of my things into a box. She and Selena have already finished packing everything they want to take with them to the Miller’s gigantic home. I, on the other hand, have refused to pack or do anything to help with the move. I don’t want to go, and I’m not helping her take me away from our home.
“I already told you, Adan. They need a full-time nanny now that Alexandra is living here permanently. And if I don’t go full time, I’ll no longer have a job. I cannot afford to lose my job, Adan. It took me long enough to find this one. Besides, we’ll have our own living space behind the main house. You won’t even notice them,” she says before closing the last box.
Banging the back of my head against the wall, I blow out a breath. Not notice them? Yeah right. How do I not notice the people who take my mother from me for hours on end each day? How do I not notice the way they look at my sister and me like we’re beneath them? Like they’re better than us.
Staring at the ceiling, I play the only card I have left. “And what if he comes back? He won’t know where to find us if we’re not here anymore,” I whisper.
Blowing out a frustrated breath, my mother comes to stand in front of me. Grabbing me by my arms, she shakes me harder than ever before. “He’s gone, Adan,” she yells at me. “He’s been gone for three years now. It’s time you realized your father is never coming back.”
Tears fill my eyes before I can stop them. How can she know that? He promised me he’d come back for me. Why would he lie? Looking into her eyes with nothing short of fire in mine, I pull my arms from her grip and rush out of the room going to the only place left that I feel close to him.
The futbol field used to be my kingdom. I haven’t been able to play since he left. But before, we’d spend hours every day here. We may not have had a lot of money, but my father always made sure I had the best cleats around—no matter what he had to do to make it happen. I used to dream of him watching me play for the national team. Now I just dream of him walking back into our lives.
He took a job three years ago. Mother begged him not to go. She said Diablo wasn’t a man who could be trusted. But Dad swore nothing would happen to him. Who’d want to hurt an accountant anyway? He was only supposed to be gone a month. A month turned into two, then three, then six. Eventually, the letters stopped coming, but I know one day he’ll come back for me. He promised.
I hear her walk up behind me before she drops to the floor at my side. “Adan, Mama says we need to go now. You're coming with us, right?” Selena asks.
Ignoring her question, I memorize the field. Searing it in my memory. The place where I was king, with my father by my side.
“Adan?” Selena whispers.
Looking over at her, I see the fear in her eyes. We promised each other we’d always be together, no matter what. She thinks I’ll leave her to find him while she moves in with mother to take care of someone else's child.
“Yeah, Selena,” I grumble, “I’m coming.” Standing up from the field, I put my hand out to help her up. A small smile comes to her lips as she nods at me before taking my hand and standing up. We walk back to our little apartment hand in hand towards the moving van that will take us to our new lives. A life I already hate.
***
Present day…
That was the last day I spent as an average kid. Living at the Miller’s was nothing short of a prison for me in the beginning. My mother was always busy doing something for the household and couldn’t be bothered to spend time with me. Selena was with Alex almost every waking moment.
My mother was ecstatic when Alex and Selena became fast friends because it meant she could keep an eye on them both, usually leaving me by myself in our small home on the property grounds. I used the alone time to practice. The next year, I’d be going to high school, and there was no way I wouldn’t make the futbol team.
The team was the only thing I looked forward to and the only thing that made a move here bearable. The school we would’ve gone to, had we stayed in our apartment, couldn’t afford to have any sports teams And I more than likely wouldn’t have had the opportunity to play again.
Futbol was my only hope to escape that hell. The hell where I reminded my mother too much of my father. The man who’d left her for a job and wound up dead. No matter how much I’d wanted to believe he couldn’t possibly be dead. But if he wasn’t, where the hell was he?
As the days turned into weeks and weeks into years, I thought less of him every day and moved on with my life. I made the futbol team with ease and quickly became one of the best on the field. I studied in school and gave my heart to the game. I would go to college and become more than just the son of a nanny.
Chapter 2
Alex
Nineteen years ago…
“You look beautiful,” Selena exclaims as I stare at myself in the mirror.
“You picked out a beautiful dress for me, Lena,” I say while absently picking at the full skirt.
“It has nothing to do with the dress, Alex. You. Are. Beautiful.” Before I can look away, she hooks her finger under my chin tilting my face to hers. “What’s wrong? Do you not like it?” Selena asks, beginning to panic as she searches my eyes.
“Lena, calm down. The dress is perfect. I’m just worried about tomorrow,” I admit looking at the floor.
“Oh, okay. Good. What are you worried about, mi amiga?” she asks as she unzips my dress.
How do I tell my best friend that one look from her brother has my stomach in knots? That I dream of him? That just a simple mention of his name makes my heart skip a beat? I wish I could tell her the truth. Tell her about my feelings for Adan, but now isn’t the time. I have no idea how she’d take my truths. And right now, she has too much on her mind with the quinceañera tomorrow. My silly school girl crush will have to wait for another day.
“What if I mess up the dance? I’ve hardly gotten to practice the steps with Adan. I just don’t want to make a fool out of myself is all,” I tell her instead, as I pull my shirt over my head.
“Alex, you’ve practiced with me almost every day. You know the steps, I know you do. Don’t worry about Adan. Mama has made sure he knows the dance. She’s made him dance with her every night after he’s gotten home from practice. You’ll be great,” she comforts me as we walk to the front of the dress shop.
“How did it fit?” the seamstress asks.
“It’s perfect, thank you,” I tell her as she takes the dress from me to put in a garment bag.
“You’re right, Lena. Everything will be perfect tomorrow,” I tell her with a nod.
I didn’t exactly lie to my best friend. I am worried about the dance, but not because I think I’ll forget a step. It’ll be the first time I’ll dance with Adan, her brother, and that scares me to death.
Adan and Lena moved onto my family’s property when I moved here from the states. Leti had been my nanny every summer when I came to visit my father since I can remember. But four years ago, my mom decided she didn’t want our family to live apart anymore. So, we moved here to Mexico permanently.
Lena was my saving grace after we moved. I can’t remember a day in the last four years that I haven’t been by her side. She’s more than my best friend, she’s like a sister to me. But Adan is a different story. It started out as nothing more than
a silly school girl crush, but over the years it's only grown. He holds my heart in his hands and doesn’t even know how I feel about him. And tomorrow… tomorrow, I’ll spend most of the day by his side only to finish the routine in his arms.
What if I say something stupid? What if I step on his feet? I’m terrified I’ll do something to make a fool of myself in front of him. Or worse my fears will come true, and I’ll find out he doesn’t even know I exist. Why else would he have barely spoken to me in over four years?
Chapter 3
Adan
Nineteen years ago…
“It’s my quince, Adan. Why are you being like this?” Selena pleads as her eyes glass over with tears.
“I’m too old for all of this,” I exclaim, pulling at the purple tie I’m being forced to wear. I want nothing more than to rip it from my neck. “Why are you making me dance with her?” I whine, finally showing the real reason, I don’t want to be here today.
“Alex is my best friend. It won’t kill you to dance with her. Besides, don’t think I haven’t seen the way you watch her. I thought you’d be happy to dance with her,” Selena says with a pout.
Huffing out a breath of irritation, I turn away from her as she sits getting her hair done for the party. Her quince starts in less than three hours, and I'll have to spend the entire day with Alex at my side.
It’s not that I don’t want to dance with Alex. Holding her in my arms will be like a dream come true, but what if I mess up and make a fool of myself? There's a reason I barely ever talk to the girl. I can’t seem to get my brain to work around her, and it’s only gotten worse over the years.
At fifteen, she’s no longer the innocent, little girl we met when we first moved onto the Miller’s estate. She’s only grown in her beauty. But with me being seventeen, I have no right to look at her like I do. Hell, I didn’t have the right to when we moved in four years ago. I certainly don’t now that I’m almost a man. She deserves more than I’ll ever be.
Sure, I’ll continue school after high school. The grades I’ve worked my ass off for and my skills on the futbol field have made sure of that. But she deserves someone who can give her the world. Not the son of her nanny, who aspires to be an accountant like his father.
“Adan, please,” Selena whispers from her chair, bringing me back to the moment. Turning to face her, I see the worry etched across her face and the tears threatening to ruin her makeup. I’d never hear the end of that from my mother if she had to have it redone. In the end, I decide, I can't ruin this day for her. She’s been looking forward to it for years. I just have to pray I don’t make a fool of myself. Sighing, I nod my head, and my sister's eyes light up. I never could deny her anything.
Hopping up from her chair, she gives me a hug. “Thank you, Adan,” she says into my shoulder before being pulled back to finish her hair and makeup.
***
Present…
Somehow, I made it through the rest of the day without making a fool of myself. The church ceremony was easy, as no one was supposed to speak. And despite my fears, I made it through my dance with Alex without missing a step. As soon as my expectations were met, I joined some of my teammates at a table in the back of the hall and spent the rest of the evening there.
My eyes followed Alex wherever she went. Her long blonde hair was curled and pinned up off her neck, complimenting the curve of her shoulders. The purple of the dresses Selena chose accented her porcelain skin. While the other girls had on full makeup, Alex’s was minimal. But to me, she still stood out from the crowd.
She spent the night dancing with my sister and the other girls. But she turned away any boy who asked her to dance. Each time she did, her eyes would find mine. At first, she’d blush and turn away, but as the night continued she looked a little longer each time.
I should’ve gotten up and danced with her then. I should’ve stayed at the party with my sister and made sure they all made it home safely. Instead, I left with my friends. How was I to know my world would be flipped on its axis in just a few short hours? What’s that they say about hindsight?
***
Fifteen years ago…
“Where have you been?” my mother screams when I walk into the house.
Taken aback by her question, it takes me a moment to answer, “I went to hang out with the guys. Why?” It's not like you ever care what I do anyway, I think to myself, bitterly.
Finally looking at her, I see her ruined makeup and tear-stained cheeks. The dress she wore to Selena's quince is filthy, and her hair looks like she's been pulling at it for hours. A sense of dread washes over me.
“Where’s Selena?”
“Like you care,” my mother spits. Laughing humorously, she continues, “You’re just like him. You care about nothing but yourself. I should’ve sent you with him when he left. Maybe then, they would’ve come for you instead of her,” her voice broke as she shouted the last word at me.
“Come for her?” I question as my eyebrows draw together. I don’t understand a word my mother is yelling at me. Sent me with him? Who my father? What the hell does she mean they came for her? “Where is Selena?” I ask again, getting louder, more frustrated with my lack of understanding.
“She was taken from the hall as they were leaving your sister’s quinceañera tonight,” a voice from behind me says.
Turning around, I'm suddenly face-to-face with a man I thought was dead. Someone I haven’t seen in over seven years. No matter how long I’ve prayed it wasn’t true, that he couldn’t possibly be dead, I still can’t help the confusion seeing him again causes.
“You're alive?” I whisper in disbelief.
His face turns red, as he looks over to my mother. “Leti, you told them I was dead?” he asks through gritted teeth.
“The man I married is dead,” she yells at him. Her small hands ball into fists, and her neck muscles strain to hold in her anger.
Looking between the two of them, I don’t understand the rage, the lies. My parents are… were people who once were so in love it made me sick. What happened to them? He’s been alive this whole time, and she lied to us? Why would she do that? Though I desperately need answers, I know now isn’t the time. I can’t even begin to process all of this anyway. There’s a more important issue than her lies and him being alive.
“Who took Selena?” I whisper, my voice trembling.
Looking down at me, rage fills his eyes. “Someone who wants to use them to hurt me,” his words shake with barely suppressed control.
“Who would want to hurt an accountant?” I ask absently, shaking my head, still not comprehending what the hell is going on.
My mother begins to laugh. She laughs hysterically for what seems like hours as I stare at her thinking she’s lost her mind. What could possibly be funny right now?
When she finally stops, she looks at me. “An accountant? My husband was an accountant. That man,” she scoffs, pointing to my father and looking at him with nothing but hate, “is a mafioso.”
My eyes dart to my father waiting for him to fight what she’s saying. He wouldn’t be involved in something like that. My father was a good man. But he doesn’t deny what she says. He doesn’t even speak as he clenches his fists at his sides and glares at my mother. I turn my head back and forth between the two waiting to see what’s going to happen next. I don’t even know what to say. The tension and hate rolling off them both is suffocating.
My father steps towards me, but before he has the time to say something, anything, it hits me like a freight train. “You said them.” My eyes snap to his. “Who did they take?”
“Your sister, Selena, and the guerita,” he tells me.
My knees give out, and he catches me. One sentence, one word, and my world is thrown into chaos. I don’t care that my father is here anymore. Or that my mother is calling him a mafioso. All that matters is, the two people I’d give my life for are both missing, and somehow, it's my father's fault.
***
Present day
…
The police didn’t give a damn about Selena. They could’ve cared less that she went missing. To them, she was just the daughter of the help. But Alex? She was the daughter of an important man at the embassy. She had their full attention. Their resources.
The Millers had vowed to do whatever it took to get their daughter back. They, the family that my mother took care of and had sacrificed so much for, also didn’t care that Selena was missing. They blamed my family for their daughter's kidnapping, for not having enough security at the party. They would never understand how true that was.
I was told to keep quiet and not to say a word about my father or his possible involvement in their disappearances. Apparently, he was well known within the illegal world of Mexico, which meant the police knew of him too. I still didn’t understand how an accountant could become a mafioso, but none of that mattered in those moments. Eventually, I’d get the answers about where he’d been and who the hell he’d become. The time and place for that would come later.
Chapter 4
Alex
Nineteen years ago…
I never would’ve thought a day that was so perfect could turn into such a nightmare. Who are these men? Who do they think we are? And why did they take us from Selena’s quince in the first place? No matter how long I ask myself and Lena these questions, I find no answers. The only thing I do know is I want to go home.
The party was perfect in every way. I didn’t think the day could get any better. I managed to make it through my dance with Adan without making a fool of myself. For just a moment, it felt like we were the only two people in the world. His eyes followed me the rest of the night. The weight of his gaze on me was the best feeling I’ve ever had. God how I wish I’d asked him to dance with me just one more time.