So, I snatched her head back. I kissed her, kissed her until her tears stopped. I kissed her until she kissed me back. I shoved her gown up, dropped to my knees in supplication, threw her thigh over my shoulder. Kissed her clit, slithered my tongue inside of her, tasting her walls and when she came she sang for me a different song. Different from the one I’d ever allow her to sing for Cisero and she called my name like it was hallowed and she clung to me and she touched me.
When her body couldn’t take anymore, I pulled her down to me, cradled her into my lap and used my softest words to sooth her, when her breathing returned to normal, she had a request. “Sing to me Gabriel.”
It came out in a desperate whisper and though I had a voice for singing I didn’t sing. But at the moment I would have done anything to fix her, to keep her there with me. I sang for her the first song that came to mind; Breads ‘Diary’ and my tone was perfect, and the lyrics fit because Cisero was who she loved and I was Gabriel the brother who made her feel good, only when she allowed and I was ok with that so I sang just because it made her happy.
When there were no more words to sing, we sat in silence until we fell asleep holding each other. When I woke up, she was gone. I almost thought I dreamt the whole thing until she smiled at me that morning from across the table.
“The first time was at the cabin during Christmas, right after you turned seventeen?” I asked
“Yes,” her voice cracked.
My blood boiled.
“You should have told me.” I tried to pull her into my arms.
She stepped away from my embrace. She reached up and smoothed her fingers over my face.
“No, I shouldn’t have.” She shouldered her tears away and smiled. “It all turned out for the best. He’s dead, we’re here, alive to fight, fuck and live another day. She back away from me, taking her body heat with her.
“I have to text Lovie. she’s probably worried.” She turned and walked away. I knew not to stop her.” She paused just before stepping onto the first stair.
“Just for clarification. I don’t care what Meth-Anne does to Cisero, just make sure you keep the bitch off you from now on, don’t think I didn’t see her grab your dick. She laughed darkly.” Then she took the stairs up two at a time.
I smirked. I called behind her raising my voice, “Don’t think we’re not going to talk about all that came out today.”
She snorted and continued up the stairs. “No we won’t.”
Justice
“So you’re hiding from me now?” Cisero asked from behind me.
No, I was hiding from Gabriel, my pussy was sore from all the baby making fucking we were doing, and I was tired of him trying to get me to talk about past trauma. I’d already said as much as was going to say about what his father had done to me. I refused to dwell on it.
I was sitting on their father’s ornate mid-century European settee like I’d done so many times. My leg thrown over the arm. My body loose. Reading always relaxed me.
I rolled my eyes and placed the book I’d been reading on my lap as Cisero made his way into the room, his bare feet slapped against the wood floor.
“No, Cisero. I’m not hiding from you.”
He faux gasped. “You wound me when you call me Cisero. It’s like you don’t love me anymore.” He said then flopped down next to me. He reached out and pulled one of my loose curls between his fingers. “You don’t love me anymore, Justice?”
I removed my leg from the arm of the chair and situated myself so I could face him. He was shirtless wearing only a pair of sweatpants. I could smell his wife perfume and sex sweat on him. For a moment my eyes got stuck on his chiseled chest and abs. His tats really were mesmerizing. When I lifted my eyes, I was met with a smirk.
I clucked my tongue.
“Love? That’s a strong word. I barely ever like you, Cisero,” I said
Cisero was weak, petty and covetous, but he had been my confidant and sort of a friend. Apart of me still wanted to fuck him just to see if the real Cisero would live up to the imaginary Cisero that I’d lusted after years ago. Being back had made me realize that my lust for him had only been because so much of him was exactly like his brother. Gabriel was the better ma
I knew their father had told both the brothers to stay away from me, but it was also their choice. One Gabriel chose to ignore openly. He was always there, touching me, helping me, wanting me. Cisero was all about appearances so he lurked in the shadows. Where nobody could see him entertaining the fat, broken Black girl, waiting for me to give myself to him. He had a picture in his head of what his life was supposed to be. He wanted to be the bad boy tattoo artist with the blonde wife and blond kids. I fit nowhere in that picture. However, I knew he wouldn’t mind crawling between my thighs a few times or even stringing me along for years like his father had done my mother. That was why I had never gone to him when he sent for me. Why I had barely a thought about him since I’d been gone. I constantly thought about Gabriel though.
He reached out, cupped my face and ran his thumb across my lips. “Why do I think you’re lying, Justice?”
“Because you’re a smug bastard, who thinks the world revolves around him?” I laughed and sat back so his hand fell into his lap. Last think I needed was Gabriel or Ashley walking on him touching me.
He laughed too. Threw his hands up. “I tried.”
“You did. Now can you leave me alone so I can read?”
“Just one question?” He looked serious.
I nodded. “Go ahead.”
He ran his hand over his mouth before speaking. “Did you really think you would have told me what my father was doing to you and I would have done nothing? I would have protected you.”
I fought the urge to roll my eyes. “No, Cisero. Now that I think about it, I think you would have helped me.” I lied, because he really looked as if he needed me to.
He nodded, digesting the information, then he smiled, putting all thirty-two of his white teeth on display before he got up, and left the room. I shook my head and picked my book back up. One day his smugness was going to catch up with him. He had a lot of shit coming to him. I just hoped he survived it.
My text alert went off.
Lovie- Did you get pregnant yet? If not. Make sure you stick to doggy style or missionary. Riding works against you, gravity and all. Hurry up. We need this baby. It’s our only chance at being normal. We can live vicariously through her.
I laughed, at first. Then a sense of sadness made my heart ache because I knew if a baby was conceived, I wouldn’t be keeping it. I couldn’t tell Lovie that, so I didn’t text back at all. I felt the sudden urge to sing or yell or cry or rage or fuck. I laid my book to the side, pushed myself up from the sofa and went looking for Gabriel.
Justice
Three weeks had passed since the first time I’d fucked Gabriel, and though I had fucked him many times after, it was always with both of us nearly dressed, him hiking my dress and pulling his dick through his boxers or over his shorts. Or he’d come to me at night when it was pitch black. I had never seen him naked. As a matter of fact, I’d never seen his room either, not even before I left. I felt strange even being in there. It was too dark to look around. The only light was the one illuminating only the area he stood in.
His back was turned to me. Beads of water clung to his skin like he’d just gotten out of the shower. The muscles in his back flexed .My breath caught in my chest when I saw his tat. His entire back was covered with my drawing. I’d given it to him not long after he saved me. Nobody knew I drew, not even Lovie. I’d only shared it with him.
I can’t even remember what I was trying to convey with the drawing. However, I did know that I was the snake and he was the apple. The sin and the temptation. My mind had been in a fog for weeks after what his father had made me do, but I just couldn’t get the image out of my head. So, I drew it and gave it to him.
After my initial shock of seeing that tattoo for the first time wore off, I saw the s
cars. His body was covered in them. The further down my eyes traveled the more scars I saw. A sharp gasp skittered pass my lips when I saw the pattern on the side of his upper right thigh, at least a hundred straight lines, all the same width and length. That’s when I realized most had been self-inflicted.
My heart shattered. “What the fuck did you do to yourself?” My voice was shaky, every word wobbled.
He didn’t even seem startled or surprised when I spoke. He swiveled his head and looked over his shoulder at me with a scowl so severe on his face, it made me quickly advert my gaze. I tried but failed to breathe normally.
“What are you doing in my room, Justice?” His voice was low and devoid of emotion. Then I saw why. On his dresser was a set of blades laid out. From biggest to smallest.
I had interrupted him.
I shook my head. And asked him again “What did you do to yourself?
Silence stretched between us.
“Penance,” he said finally.
“That sounds asinine. You inflicted pain and cuts on yourself because of what your father made you do?” How hadn’t I realized Gabriel was even more fucked up than I was?
He regarded me with a frown, then he laughed, darkly. It was filled with mocking.
Tilting his chin down to his chest he rubbed the back of his neck. “I don’t cut myself because of what I did, I cut because I still want to do it.” He turned to fully to face me. “I like hurting people, Justice. “Holding someone’s life in your hands, watching their soul leave their body.“ His eyes sparkled, and I really believed him. “It’s fucking exhilarating”
My heart rate accelerated but I couldn’t say if it was from fear. When I was off my meds my emotions were jumbled.
He started to advance towards me. He tried to lock me in place with his eyes. I took a step back, then another until my back was at the door.
He stepped right up on me, his naked body blanketing me, his hard dick pressed against my belly, he wrapped one arm around my waist. There were scars and burn marks all over his chest too, that didn’t look self-inflicted and I wondered how he got them. I wanted to trace my fingertips over each one as he told me.
He leaned in. “Are you scared of me now, Justice? Disgusted by me.” He was so warm his body heat chased away the goosebumps that had broken out on my skin.
I raised my chin and answered him honestly. “No.”
His mint scented breath tickled the side of my face. “Good. I have a secret to tell you.”
“Okay. tell me,” I stuttered.
“I guess Charles was going for a deathbed confession. One day he called me into his room and confessed what he’d done to you. I made him watch me as I gave the l’il cunt he married exactly what she had been begging me for I fucked her right in front of him. Made her beg for it. It was sad and funny, he actually loved her, you could see it in his eyes. Then I told him about Cisero fucking my mother. He cried like a baby before I put a pillow over his face.”
It was an emotionless confession. As if he had just told me he stepped on a roach.
He pulled back to gage my reaction.
“I know you killed him.” I knew Cicero had been fucking Meredith too. I’d never caught them, but it was obvious.
His eyebrow rose in question.
“Back when you use to go out and come back after a night with your father, bruised, knuckles all bloody, you’d have this look in your eyes. I can’t even describe it with words, but at the time I thought it was sadness or regret, but then I saw you on TV when they gave the press conference to announce his death, you had that same look in your eyes and then I realized what I had been seeing. I also knew Cisero and Meredith were fucking and I knew it was a matter of time before you or Cisero showed up. I didn’t think it would be to marry and impregnant me, but I knew I’d be drawn back into yall melodrama eventually.”
We both became silent after that.
I was the first to speak. “Since you’re in the mood to confess, why am I here? Why go through the trouble of drugging and kidnapping me? I know you Gabriel, you have resources.”
He sighed and dropped his forehead to mine. Then told me about him trying to keep his father’s company and charities afloat.
“So, you couldn’t have just asked me?”
“Would you have come to help me?”
“Gabriel, despite what you think I care for you.”
I didn’t care that he killed his father. I didn’t care that he liked killing. I didn’t care that he self-harmed as long as it stopped. I couldn’t judge him. I was just as fucked up as him on so many levels. But what I couldn’t abide by was the fact that they kidnapped me. I didn’t yet know how I was going to deal with it and before I could even think about it, I remembered what I had come to his room to tell him.
“This seems like it might not be the right time…” I started, but he smashed his lips against mine, cutting me off. Slowly he lifted me, held me against the door. A whimper forced its way between our lips. Our tongues tangled. Then he was carrying me. I linked my arms around his neck. I sat up when he placed me on the mattress, watched him watch me.
“You like what you see, scars and all?”
I nodded.
“Take that off,” he gestured towards the simple white knee-length night shirt I was wearing.
I pulled it over my head and threw it towards him. He grabbed my right leg and dragged me across the bed until my ass was at the edge
He went down to his knees, crouching in front of the bed.
I looked down at him. Anticipation had me gripping the sheet. Gabriel could make my soul ascend from my body with his tongue skills.
My clit pulsed with the pump of my blood.
His fingers slid up my thighs, “You’re so soft,” he said brushing at my clit. I tensed as two fingers breached my cunt.
Then he pressed his lips over my clit and sucked it into his warm mouth. I hissed. I couldn’t think straight as he licked with his tongue while he fucked me with his fingers. When I was close to cumming and chanting his name, he removed his finger and replaced them with his tongue. I sucked in air as tension coiled in my stomach. He licked and sucked my pussy hole until I saturated his face with my juices.
After, he ran small kisses up from my pussy causing me to squirm until he was at my breasts. I was pinned to the bed as he marked me with bites all over my breast and neck. He avoided the nipples until they ached. “Please.”
I was ready to beg him to suck them and when he finally did my back arched off the bed.
Lifting my legs to his shoulders, he penetrated me, going deeper than he’d ever been. I was so wet I could hear the sound of his dick plunging inside of me.
He stared down at me with so much intensity as he fucked me. It was unnerving, but I couldn’t look away. I gripped his strong forearms as he rocked into me. I was so close, I reached for my clit.
He knocked my hand away.
“Gabriel,” I whimpered, “touch my clit”
His nostril’s flared and he choked back a groan. He dropped my legs. Leaned over and kissed me, nipping at my top lip with his teeth, then tugging the bottom one
He linked our fingers and pumped into me, his pelvis bumping my clit rubbing it until my legs shook. My toes curled as he sped up, demanding my orgasm, it came hard, depleting me of all my energy. He came gripping my hips hard enough to bruise, then he situated me so we were in spooning position, slid his dick into my pussy from behind. It wasn’t until after his second orgasms, when I was fighting sleep that I remembered to tell him I was pregnant.
Justice.
Gabriel and Cisero woke me up at the crack of dawn to have some old white man they told me was a doctor prod around my vagina. I had to piss in a cup. Cisero cheered like he’d won the lotto when the doctor came into the kitchen and announced I had the pregnancy hormone in the urine. Gabriel had stared at me like he could see through to my soul and then he kissed me like he was trying to steal it. I had to eyeball that bitch, Becky or Amber or whatev
er the fuck her name was, because she kept staring at Gabriel like she missed him.
Then the three of them left with my signature on the papers that would turn their father estate over to Gabriel. When I heard a car pulling up to the house, I assumed it was them. They’d been gone four or five hours. I continued cutting vegetables. I decided to make dinner for them so we could discuss my return to my life. I didn’t know how receptive Gabriel would be to that idea. When I texted Lovie my plans, after telling her I was pregnant, she thought it was a bad idea. She wanted me to consider actually staying married to Gabriel. A part of me wanted to do that, but I kept thinking about the scars on his body. He was dealing with his own demons and didn’t need to add mine. And what if he didn’t want to go back with me?
“They finally left you alone?” Michael asked, his mouth right next to my ear. I didn’t need to see him to know it was him. His smell of stale cigarette and cheap cologne agitated my nose.
“What are you doing here?” I sidestep out of his space. I had forgotten he existed. He hadn’t been back since the night Gabriel sent him away.
He took a step closing the space that separated us.
“Move please.” I fought the urge to push past him. While I slipped the knife I’d been cutting onions with to my side.
He reached out and tugged at one of my loose strands of hair.
“I waited for them to leave. I saw how you looked at me.”
Michael lunged. I had guessed it. He was trouble. Soon as he was in arm length, I used the steak knife I’d been concealing to swipe at his throat. He cursed and stopped coming for me. He looked down at his arm. The thin line of blood mesmerized him. While he was distracted, I lifted my arm and brought the knife down. I was going for his chest, but it ended up in his shoulder. He screamed as if he had been stabbed— well he had been stabbed. I snatched it out and he screamed again.
I decided to make a beeline for the exit. Just as I put a foot over the threshold, he grabbed me. He yanked me back by my shirt so hard the fabric ripped. I could feel cold air on my beasts. Falling backwards into him, I swung my elbow catching him in his midsection, causing him to fall. He almost took me down with him.
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