by Amy Lamont
Looking down at Lily, an adorable furrow between her brows, I had to admit that not all baggage was bad. In less than a month, hell, less than a night together, she’d become the most important thing in the world to me. Jared ripped on me about disappearing with her the last few weeks every chance he got, but it was worth it. I loved every minute I’d gotten to spend with Lily.
I couldn’t help myself, I leaned down and pressed my lips against her temple. She immediately gave me the result I was hoping for—the furrow eased and her face softened and she looked up at me with the wonder of a child who just spied Santa leaving presents under the tree.
As we turned onto the main street of a charming village full of shops and restaurants, all decked out for the holidays, I raised an eyebrow at her. “You going to tell me where we’re going now?”
She picked up her phone and sent a text before she looked up at me with a nervous smile. “We’ll be there in a minute.”
After a few more turns, we came to a stop in front of a cute cottage on a wide, tree-lined street. Steps led up to a front porch with lights and greenery wrapped around the railings and a big wreath on the door.
I couldn’t help my grin. “This looks like your snow globe.” I glanced down at her. “Does someone you know live here?”
“Um, not exactly.”
Before I could question her further, a car pulled up behind us. Lily tugged on my hand and pulled us out of the car. She shot me a nervous look before she stepped forward to meet the woman who had just gotten out of her car to meet us at the bottom of the driveway.
“You must be Lily.” The woman stuck out her hand. “It’s so finally nice to finally meet you in person.”
Lily shook the woman’s hand and returned her greeting before turning to me. “Will, this is Elise. She’s my real estate agent.”
I had the woman’s hand in mine before Lily’s words really sank in. “Your real estate agent?”
Lily nodded, but instead of elaborating, she addressed the realtor. “Elise, would it be okay if I took Will inside to look around first?”
“Sure. Let me just get you guys inside.” She led the way up the front porch and fiddled with the lockbox on the door for a moment before she opened it and ushered us into the house. “How about if I stay right here and let you guys have a peek?”
“Perfect,” Lily said.
Completely confused, I allowed her to take my hand and pull me from room to room. As we went she rattled off information about the house. Like the fact the floors throughout the first floor were made of reclaimed barn wood. And though the kitchen had been brought up to date with all the modern conveniences, the farmhouse sink was completely restored and original to the house.
It wasn’t until we were standing in an oversized, bright and sunny bedroom upstairs that I finally made her stop and explain what we were doing here.
She stood in the middle of the room and held her arms out to encompass the whole room. “It’s my house.”
“Your house? Like you own it?” I drew my brows together, not understanding what was going on here.
“No. Well, at least not yet.”
“You’re buying a house.”
She took in a deep breath and let it out slowly before she explained. “When I was a kid, I was in foster care.”
I nodded. She’d told me a little about the tough time she’d had growing up. I knew she’d been in a few foster homes.
“Well, the home I was happiest in was one in this town. I was eight. I’m not sure how I ended up getting moved out of the city, but coming here was like magic. I loved the couple who fostered me. I loved my school. I was here for the longest I’d been anywhere since I entered foster care. Seven months.”
Pain gripped my chest at her words. I’d known she’d moved a few times, and she’d never really talked about having a family. But I hadn’t realized she’d been moved around that often. More than one home a year for several years by the time she was eight. How had I not known that?
“Go on,” was all I managed to say.
She shrugged. “I’d done exactly what I’d told myself I shouldn’t do. I got hopeful.” She raised her eyes to mine. “I thought maybe I’d found a home. But fate had other ideas.”
I knew a little something about being blindsided by destiny myself. The proof stood in front of me—a petite, curvy brunette with shiny blue eyes and a smile that made my heart ache a little every time she aimed it my way.
“I think if it was just one thing, they would have kept me.”
I couldn’t stand the forlorn and lonely tone of her voice another second. I moved to her and pulled her into my arms.
She gave me an absent smile and looped her arms around my waist before she continued. “The man got transferred to an office in another state at the same time they found out they were expecting a baby of their own. They even talked about how I was going to be a big sister. But then the woman’s mom died and things just sort of unraveled. Before I knew it I was back in the system and being sent to a new place back in the city.”
I gave her a gentle squeeze and rested my cheek on her hair. “I had no idea, sweetheart.”
I felt her shrug under my arms, but her arms tightened and I could feel her relaxing into me. “It’s okay. But the whole time I was growing up, no matter how bad things got, I always remembered this place. I started planning on how when I grew up I’d buy a house here.”
I had to fight not to tense up as I started to realize where she was going with this. I kept quiet as she went on.
“So a couple of years ago, when it looked like I’d have enough money for a down payment soon, I contacted Elise. I gave her an idea of what I was looking for and told her my timeframe. She promised she’d let me know if she found anything, and back in October, she did.”
“This place?”
“Yup. I came and checked it out from the outside and wandered around town. I looked at all the pictures posted on the internet, but I didn’t quite have my down payment yet, so I couldn’t bring myself to come see the inside in person. I knew I would love it and if it got sold out from under me, I’d be heartbroken.”
“So can I take it since we’re here, you have enough money saved up now?”
I felt her nod against my chest.
“And? After seeing it are you still thinking you want it?”
She pulled back so she could look up at me. “I love it. It’s my dream house. It’s everything I always hoped to have.” She glanced around the room. “Just being here it’s like I can feel my roots being planted. I feel like I’m meant to settle down here.”
A sick feeling started to grow in the pit of my stomach. Her dream was my nightmare. Spending the last few weeks in her apartment together felt like an adventure. I still had some clothes in the duffle bag on the floor of her closet. I had no plans to leave her. Ever.
But I’d be lying if I didn’t admit the plans I’d been making for us lately involved her being on the road with me. I even thought if she wanted to keep her apartment for a while, I could pay her rent for a year.
None of the plans I had involved a picture-perfect house on a picture-perfect street in a picture-perfect town. Just the thought of it made my feet itchy.
But as I looked down into her beautiful face, her eyes shining and full of hope as she looked up at me, I didn’t have the heart to stomp on her dream.
“If it’s your dream, sweetheart, you should go for it.”
She beamed at me, and I did my best to find a genuine smile in return.
Chapter 9
Lily
I leaned back into the plush leather backseat of the Town Car and peeked up at Will. Today was surreal. I’d finally taken the plunge and did a walkthrough of my house.
My house. I felt the need to pinch myself at the thought. And it wasn’t just a dream anymore. Before we headed back to the city, we’d gone back to Elise’s office and I’d made an offer on the house.
Afterward, Will and I wandered hand-in-hand throu
gh town, window shopping and then stopping for lunch in a pub on Main Street. Not that I’d been able to eat much. My stomach was a knot of nerves and I must have checked my phone a thousand times to see if the realtor called with news.
Looking at Will now, though, I realized he hadn’t said too much since we left the house to head to the real estate office. I’d been too nervous to think much of it while we were busy. Now that we were fifteen minutes from home and we’d gotten here mostly in silence, it was hard to ignore.
“Everything okay?” I asked softly.
He looked down at me and I saw a flash of…something in his eyes. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but I didn’t think I liked it.
“I think we need to talk,” Will said.
Ah, the other shoe dropping. I should have expected it. I had too much. Was too happy. How had I let my guard down?
“Okay,” I managed to get out.
“I don’t know how to say this.”
My heart sank a little further. “Just say it, Will.”
He looked down at me, his eyes so serious with none of their usual warmth and light. “I’m happy for you. So happy you’re getting your dream.”
His tone didn’t say happy for me. Where was the other shoe?
“But, sweetheart…” He ran a hand over his head, raking his fingers through his hair. “That’s just not my dream. I was planning to ask you to travel with me. Go on tour and see the world. I’m not very good at staying in one place very long.”
I had a sudden vision. I could see myself as if I was outside my body. I was eight years old and sitting in the back of the social worker’s car. I had my nose pressed to the window as we pulled away from my favorite foster home. I saw my foster mom’s shoulders shaking like she was crying and I kept my eyes pinned to her. I waited, knowing way down deep that if I just kept my eyes on her, she’d give me a sign. There would be a signal. All of it would stop and the social worker would take me back and they’d tell me it was all a big mistake. Of course, they wouldn’t let me go. I was their girl, and I was going to be a big sister to the new baby.
But the car kept moving forward. As I watched, my foster mother turned and walked back into the house. The door closed firmly, and even at that distance and with all the car windows shut, I swear I heard the slam of that door echoing in my head.
My vision cleared and Will was right there, looking at me, waiting. What did he expect? I thought about life on the road. It would be like living in foster homes, but worse. Instead of lasting months at a time, our stays in each place would only last a day or two, maybe a week or two in some spots, before we uprooted and moved on again.
And I’d have to give up my house. I thought of the scrapbook that I’d been filling with pictures for the last seven years. I’d have no walls to paint my murals on. No porch swing where I could sit and wave to neighbors, people whose names I’d know and who I’d bring cookies to on the holidays.
If I agreed to go with Will, all of it would be gone in an instant.
“I can’t do that, Will. I can’t go with you.”
“I know, baby. And I would never ask you to give up your dream for me.”
I blinked up at him as tears prickled hot and fast behind my eyes. “Where does that leave us?”
He cupped my face in his hand, rubbing his thumb along my jaw. “As very good friends who shared an incredible month together.”
I nodded and a single tear escaped. He wiped it away and then pulled me close, wrapping me in his arms. I held on tight, but I didn’t allow another tear to fall.
Not on the ride. Not when we got back to the apartment. And not even as I watched him pack up his stuff. The fleeting kiss he gave me at the door to my apartment as he folded the key I’d had made for him into my hand was bittersweet.
“Take care of yourself, sweetheart.” He smoothed the back of his hand over my cheek.
“You, too.”
With that, he was gone, the door shutting behind him with a finality that shattered my heart. I turned and the first thing I saw was the Christmas tree we’d decorated together. The one I thought we’d be sitting under while we opened presents Christmas morning. One more dream I had to give up.
That’s when the tears came.
Chapter 10
Lily
The tears didn’t stop for the next two days. I decided that those insipid heroines from old historical romances knew what they were doing. There was something to be said about getting a fit of the vapors and taking to your bed.
I avoided everyone. Not that there were that many people to avoid. A couple clients, a caterer who needed a last-minute bartender, and Maggie.
Maggie was the only one who didn’t give up. I briefly told her what happened between Will and I before I told her I just needed to be alone for a while.
She gave me two days before she came beating down my door. She took one look at me when she walked in and sent me directly to the shower.
While I washed my hair for the first time in days, she changed my sheets and heated up some soup she brought with her. She waited until I was clean, dressed in fresh clothes, and had a few spoonsful of soup before she started in with the lecture.
She stood up from where we were sitting at my little dining table and started pacing in front of me. “You know I love you more than anyone, Lils. I want you to have everything your heart desires. But I think breaking things off with Will was a big mistake. You love him.”
“I don’t love the idea of moving from one home to the next. I’ve had enough of that to last me a lifetime.”
Maggie knew how it felt better than anyone. We’d spent time together in two foster homes and finally a group home before we aged out of the system.
“You’re forgetting one thing, though. The thing that makes all the difference.”
I could feel my eyebrows drawing together as I went over the last month in my head. I couldn’t think of one thing that would make me change my mind about living out of a suitcase again.
Maggie dropped back into her chair and grabbed both my hands. “You won’t be alone, sweetie. It’s not going to be just you dragging a suitcase of secondhand clothes behind you.” She squeezed my hands. “It’s never been about finding the one perfect place to live. It’s about having the one perfect person to share your life with. If you find that person, it doesn’t matter where you go, as long as you’re together. He is your home.”
I sat up straight and clutched at her hands like they were the life preserver keeping me from sinking below the water and drowning. “But what about my house, Mags?”
“It’s a house. There are lots of cute houses in this world. Maybe someday you and Will can buy that one or a different one. Or, I don’t know, maybe you’ll turn a tour bus into a showplace like you did here.” She lifted her chin and swept it around to encompass the room. “Does it really matter?”
I stared up at her, trying to come to terms with what she was saying. I closed my eyes and imagined my house. I pictured each room decorated as I’d always dreamed. I put myself on the porch swing and baking in the kitchen and all the hundred other things I planned to do there.
And then I really thought about doing all those things without Will. Cooking dinner without him leaning his hips against the counter and telling me about his day. Decorating the Christmas tree without him lifting me up to place the angel at the top. Snuggling under a cozy throw and watching The Walking Dead without arguing over Daryl or Rick. And then I imagined a lifetime like that.
I opened my eyes and stared at Maggie in horror. “I’m such an idiot.”
“No, you’re not.” She released my hands and gave me a quick hug. “You’ve been holding onto that dream for a long time. You shouldn’t be expected to give it up in a day.”
“I told him no, Mags. I sent him away.” Panic rose inside me as I talked. “I don’t even know where he is. He might have left New York already.”
“You’re in luck. I just happen to be working a party tonight. And it just h
appens that it’s being thrown by the record label of a particular band we both know and love.”
“You’re kidding.”
“Nope.” She popped the “p” hard and gave me a smug smile. “Why do you think I showed up here today?”
I sank my teeth into my bottom lip, my mind going a million miles an hour. “I don’t think I can face him tonight. I think I need to plan something, Mags. I need to show him that being him is enough. That no matter where we go, I’ll always have roots, as long as I have him.”
She grinned at me. “This is going to be good.”
An idea started forming in the back of my mind. “Do you think you can find out where he’ll be spending Christmas?”
“I promise I won’t leave the party tonight without that information.” She held up her fingers in the Scout’s sign.
I shook my head at her silliness. She and I had certainly never been Girl Scouts. “What would I do without you?”
“You, my dear, will never have to find out.”
Will
I couldn’t think of anywhere I’d rather be less than this party. But after almost a month off, my manager and the people at our label were anxious to get us out in front of people again. In this industry, a band could become old news fast if they didn’t keep producing music and doing shows and meeting fans.
In the case of this party, there were a bunch of photo ops set up. The publicist wanted our pictures plastered on every online entertainment site they could find in the next twenty-four hours.
Normally, I didn’t mind this stuff. It wasn’t my favorite, but the food was usually good and the booze plentiful. I could count on a bevy of gorgeous females vying to keep my attention. Not a bad way to make a living.
But tonight I hated every minute of it. The party in one of the apartments the label owned in the city reminded me too much of the party where I’d met Lily. I still couldn’t believe I’d been such an ass to her. What had I been thinking?
“Shrimp puff?” A voice came from right behind me and was followed by a tray full of hors d’oeuvres being thrust under my nose.