by Cat Cahill
But he couldn’t. Not this time.
“Edith. I can’t say I much care for you taking up with a lawman, but if the man’s heart is in the right place, he’ll forgive you. And if it ain’t, well . . . I don’t like him anyways.”
“Because he’s a lawman?”
“I like staying alive.” With that he winked at her. “I’m not going back to town with you. The boys and I are going to head out, back to Kansas, where we belong. We could wait . . .”
Edie shut her eyes. If James rejected her, would she want to return home? Seeing her family again was wonderful, but she knew, deep down, she’d never be happy there. The reason she left still remained. “No, you don’t need to. If things . . . well, I always have my work at the hotel.” Provided she still had a position there after all of this, which was doubtful.
“All right, then. I’ll give your mother your love.”
“I’d like that, Pa. Thank you.” Edie’s eyes filled with tears, and she blinked them away as Pa ruffled the mess of her hair.
“Zeb, Ty. Help that lawman get on his horse.” Pa motioned to Edie’s brothers as he crossed the short distance to speak with James.
And before she knew it, they were on their way back to Crest Stone.
Chapter Thirty-three
Days had passed since Edie was found. Her poultice had helped his wound begin to close up, and James began to wonder if there was anything she couldn’t heal. Accompanied by volunteers from town, he’d escorted the Fletchers to the jail in Cañon City. Sheriff Young was happy with his work, and James had returned to Crest Stone, relieved to have the Fletchers behind bars and the Beaumonts on their way back to Kansas. Yet he still felt uneasy.
Edie was never far from his mind. He’d seen her a couple of times at the hotel. They’d spoken, but only of inconsequential things. And while she’d smiled at him, there was something sad and hollow in her eyes. It was a look that made him want to take her up in his arms, kiss her, and tell her nothing would ever hurt her again. But he’d resisted, all because of that little voice in the back of his head that reminded him of how much she’d kept from him.
Antsy one afternoon after making his rounds of town, James found himself strolling down the old wagon path to the creek behind the hotel. He didn’t know where he was going or why he’d chosen this path, but he felt the need to keep moving. There was something that had been bothering him, something just out of reach, and maybe if he kept going, he’d figure it out.
It was Edie, of course. Everything in his head lately was Edie. But it was something she’d said. Or maybe it was something she hadn’t said, back at the old cabin. But what was it?
He kept to the creek bank as the water roared south. The spring melt had come down from the mountains fast this year. The water made him think of his own mind, running miles in barely a minute. He paused and took in the water, so certain about where it was heading. He was looking at it differently, seeing it in a way he hadn’t before . . .
That was it.
James squatted by the bank and pulled off a glove to dip his fingers into the crystal-clear water. The cold of it bit at his skin and cleared his mind. And when he stood, it was all there.
Edie hadn’t told him the truth because she was afraid he would see her differently.
He’d told her about his uncle’s death, but hadn’t been entirely honest about what it had done to him—because he didn’t want her to see him differently. As a weak man, or as someone afraid of love. But he was afraid of it. In fact, the very thought of trusting anyone that much scared him to death.
He spun on his heel there on the muddy bank and walked with purpose back toward the hotel. He needed to find her, to talk to her. He rounded the trees that marked the start of the wagon path and stopped short.
It couldn’t be, but it was.
Right in front of him was Edie, wearing a simple blue gingham dress and carrying a glass jar. She paused when she saw him, smiling at first, and then, almost as if she’d caught herself, letting that sad look take over her face.
He’d do anything to keep her from looking that way ever again.
“Edie?” he said hesitantly.
“I’m sorry. I thought I might look for some wild herbs and flowers down here. But I can go—”
“No.” He took three steps forward until he was right in front of her.
She took a tiny step backward, her eyes darting around him. “I . . .”
“Please. I want to speak with you.”
She stopped, the jar clutched between her hands. “I lost my position. I’m not certain if you knew.”
The sorrow in her words felt as if it had invaded James’s heart. “I’m so sorry.”
“I knew word would reach the McFarlands or Mrs. Ruby, so I told them myself. About how I’d created a new name for myself and a false letter of reference to obtain work at the hotel. It might damage the reputation of the hotel if they let me stay on, so . . . ” She looked down at her jar, and the sunlight through the trees dappled the strands of her hair. “They’ve been nothing but kind to me, though. Mr. McFarland said I can remain here until I can ascertain my next step.”
“They’re good people.”
Edie glanced through the trees behind her, toward the hotel that was hidden from view. “I’ll miss my work there. I . . . I’m not certain where to go from here, or what to do. I don’t know that I have it in me to pretend to be someone else all over again.” Unshed tears filled her eyes, and she blinked them away.
He ought to ask her what her plans were, but he didn’t want to hear. Not yet. Not until he’d told her everything. If she wanted to break his heart then, at least he’d have been honest to her about his own feelings. He took in a deep breath, trying to figure out how to articulate all the thoughts in his head. “I don’t want you to be anyone else. I don’t see you any differently. Yes, I know your real name now, and I know what you did to get here and how you had to deal with Mr. Adkins. But I still see you.”
“You see me,” she said, echoing his words with confusion lacing her voice.
“No matter what you call yourself, you’re still a woman of courage. One who didn’t fear starting a new life, alone in a place like this. A woman who isn’t afraid to love things that are a little out of the ordinary—herbs and medicines, books about plants. A woman who didn’t care a whit about what anyone else might think when you came to my room to ensure I had enough of your tea to see me through the next day.”
She blinked at him like a deer who’d spotted a hunter.
“Don’t you see?” He took her hand. “It doesn’t matter that you kept those secrets when you were honest about your true self. And I . . . Well, I haven’t been exactly honest either.”
She raised her eyes from their joined hands. “What do you mean?”
“I told you about my uncle and about why I wanted to be a lawman. But I never told you what his death did to me. It scared me so much that I didn’t believe I could trust how I felt about you. In my mind, falling in love meant losing my focus. It meant certain death.”
“Falling in love?” Her big brown eyes stared at him from behind her glasses.
“Yes. I’m in love with a woman who left everything she had to start a new, better life. A woman I know I can trust, because she hasn’t wavered.” He paused a moment, letting his words catch up with everything that ran through his head. “I love you, Edie.”
A small tear formed at the corner of her eye. He lifted his other hand to wipe it away, and she smiled tentatively at him.
“I love you too. I thought . . . I thought you didn’t want me. And I understood why. But oh, James, I promise to never keep secrets again. It tore me apart each day, seeing you and laughing with you and yet fearing what you’d think if you knew where I’d come from.”
He let his hand drift to her cheek. Her skin was so soft, and when she leaned her face into his touch, he thought he might burst from the need to kiss her. “Edith Beaumont, will you marry me?”
She l
aughed as more tears found their way from her eyes. “Yes, I will. I absolutely will.”
And with that, he pulled her to him, letting his other arm wrap around her shoulders as his mouth found hers. She melted into him, and he thought he might never leave this very spot. Her jar dropped to the ground as she held him close. Edie was warmth and happiness and comfort. She was his future.
And together, they’d have nothing to fear.
Epilogue
Early June was a wonder to behold in the valley. Edie would never grow tired of the brightness of the grasses, the softer green of the sagebrush, the blue of the sky, the white snow that still sat on the mountaintops in the distance, and now, the earthy brown of the wood that was the beginnings of the construction of their new home.
She bit her lip to keep from laughing. She laughed more now, she’d begun to notice. Maybe it was because she felt so light, so much more free without the burden of her past tugging her down. So many people knew now who she was. But it didn’t matter. Since announcing her engagement to James, Edie felt more at peace with herself. It was freeing, no longer fearing someone finding out about her family and no longer needing to keep up the pretense she had for months. James knew, and he loved her as she was, and that was all that mattered.
“We’ll have four rooms,” James said to her as he approached after speaking with the men who were helping to build the house. “A parlor and a kitchen, and two bedrooms.”
Edie smiled, thinking of the children she hoped they’d have to fill that second bedroom. “It’ll be perfect.” She turned to look at the man who would, in a week’s time, be her husband. The small church wasn’t completely built yet, so they’d made plans to travel to Cañon City for the ceremony.
But today, James had work to do.
“When do you suppose you’ll return?” Edie asked as he wrapped his arms around her. She’d never grow tired of this. She placed her hands on his chest so she could look up and see his face.
“Tomorrow, most likely. It’s a long ride south.” He grinned at her as if he weren’t about to embark on a journey to search for a dangerous gang of train robbers.
“I’m glad you aren’t going alone.” Some of the same men who’d helped him find her volunteered to help James with this search.
“Why, Edie, are you afraid something might happen to me?” He nuzzled her nose with his, and she laughed.
“I’m always afraid something might happen to you. Be careful, please.”
He dropped his smile. “I will, I promise. We aren’t certain who these men are, but it appears to be a different group than the one that hit the train north of here in April.”
She traced one of the buttons on his vest. “Just come back to me. That’s all I want.”
“I’d love to see anyone try to stop me from doing that.”
When she looked back up at him, his eyes held an intensity she’d seen only a few times. It took her breath away, the way he looked at her like she was the only other person who existed in the world. It made her legs feel as if they might buckle beneath her. He caught her lips with his, and her mind ceased to function. All she could do was let her arms wrap around him, and lose herself entirely.
He backed away for just a moment, long enough to say, “I’ll always come back to you.” And then his mouth was on hers again, her eyes fluttered shut, and she knew one thing for certain.
No one could ever see her the way James did.
THANK YOU FOR READING! I hope you enjoyed James and Edie’s story! Next, you have to find out what happens when Emma’s younger sister Grace answers an ad for a mail-order bride—only to find her intended has chosen another. That book will be part of the new Yours Truly: The Lovelorn multi-author series. You can pre-order it here: http://bit.ly/ConfusedColorado
I owe a debt of gratitude to those who helped me name the Fletchers. Thank you so much to Janet Simmons, Rose Hale, Arletta Boulton, and Johnna Darbonne. Your names helped shape these characters’ personalities, and I’m ever grateful to you!
To be alerted about new books—and to find out more about the upcoming Crest Stone mail order brides series—sign up here: http://bit.ly/catsnewsletter I give subscribers a free download of Forbidden Forever, a Gilbert Girls prequel novella (it tells the story of Mr. and Mrs. McFarland). You’ll also get sneak peeks at upcoming books, insights into the writer life, discounts and deals, inspirations, and so much more. I'd love to have you join the fun! You can also find me on Facebook at: http://bit.ly/CatonFacebook and on my website http://bit.ly/CatCahillAuthor.
Turn the page to see a complete list of the books in the Gilbert Girls series, along with the other books I’ve written.
Books in The Gilbert Girls series
Building Forever
Running From Forever
Wild Forever
Hidden Forever
Forever Christmas
On the Edge of Forever
The Gilbert Girls Book Collection One (Books 1-3)
Other Historical Western Romances by Cat
A Bride for Isaac (The Proxy Brides, Book 34)
Confused in Colorado (Yours Truly: The Lovelorn, Book 14)
About the Author, Cat Cahill
A sunset. Snow on the mountains. A roaring river in the spring. A man and a woman who can't fight the love that pulls them together. The danger and uncertainty of life in the Old West. This is what inspires me to write. I hope you find an escape in my books!
I live with my family, my hound dog, and a few cats in Kentucky. When I'm not writing, I'm losing myself in a good book, planning my next travel adventure, doing a puzzle, attempting to garden, or wrangling my kids.