Colton walks away from me and I watch as he pulls open a drawer and reaches in. The lump in my throat tightens and I struggle to breathe around it as another bottle of scotch is pulled out. The lid is opened and as he lifts the bottle to his lips, I feel the tears welling in my eyes.
Do not cry. Do not fucking cry in front of him, Oceania Munroe.
“Get the fuck out, Jade,” he says with finality, dismissing me as he swallows another mouthful of scotch. “I’m done with you. So fucking done.”
Struggling to catch a breath, I silently walk to the door and push my way out into the hallway, leaving him behind as I slam the door between us. The second the heavy thud of the door vibrates through my ears, I crash against it, feeling the emotions completely overwhelm me.
I slide down to the ground, slamming a hand over my mouth to mask the sound of my sobs as the tears fall free from my eyes, leaving me a complete, broken mess on the marble floor.
Chapter 7
Milo’s arm loops through mine as he leads me inside the church. I don't know what I was thinking coming here today. Maybe I just needed to see Colton, maybe I had an overwhelming need to say goodbye to the man who used to hit his children and wife, or maybe I just wanted to be supportive of the people around me. I don’t know. Anyway I look at it, it’s fucked up.
If I had my head screwed on properly, I’d be back at the pool house, keeping myself locked away and out of trouble. I know I can’t tell the difference between Cora and Casey but if one of them were to even look at me wrong today, I feel as though I might just break. After the whole suspension thing yesterday, a public scene like that might just throw my mom off the deep end.
As we walk through the church, I can’t help but look around. This place is huge. Like not just the Carrington mansion kind of huge, but shopping mall kind of huge. No wonder Harrison was so adamant that this would be the church the service was held in. It's all kinds of fancy with its high ceiling arches, candles, gold trims, and stained windows. It’s the kind of place a girl like me would literally have to die to get into. Even then, I'm not sure I’d be worthy.
This place screams elitist and makes me wonder how many times the little donation plate went around and how often the billionaires of Bellevue Springs have had to dip into their pockets. There’s no way a church like this would be able to survive on just prayers alone. There's a big financial backer here somewhere and for some reason, the name Carrington is flashing in my head.
There’s a woman at the front softly playing the harp and the music fills the church as the guests start pouring in. Milo leads me to a seat toward the back and near the rest of Charles’ staff who have been granted the time off to attend the funeral, though not all of them are here. There are still hundreds of people back at the mansion getting ready for the party this afternoon which is being held in Charles’ honor. To be honest, I doubt Colton even knows about the party, he’s been so distant these past few days.
Yesterday was the worst. It’s as though Colton has reverted to the old Colton, the one who existed when I first arrived. He was mean, blunt, and dangerous. He was someone who I didn’t want to fuck with, but did because watching him get so worked up was one of the sexiest things I’ve ever seen. The old Colton liked to torment me, watch me break, and knew that he had the power to do it.
I sat at his bedroom door crying for two hours, unable to pull myself away. I was lucky that the only person to walk by and see my shame was Harrison who actually had the heart to give me a sympathetic smile. He must have been hit badly with Colton’s bullshit to have had a reaction like that. Either way, I was grateful.
It took me those two whole hours to work out that maybe he was hurting me just to feel something normal again. The past few days might have been a complete clusterfuck for me, but it’s also been that way for him and while his father was lying dead in his home office, he was upstairs in his bedroom, just moments from finally giving in to his desires. The guilt must be eating him alive and his way to deal with that, is to push me away but in doing that, he’s not just punishing himself, he’s punishing me.
We settle into the back pew and I gaze around the room, watching the people filtering past us. I catch Mom's eye a few rows ahead of us sitting with Maryne, and a smile passes between us.
Just as expected, everybody who is somebody comes striding through the door, not that I know any of them. Milo has a running commentary explaining the who’s who of Bellevue Springs. Women in black dresses, over the top hats, and big glasses march their way right to the front while men in ridiculously expensive suits accompany them and look as though they’d rather be anywhere else.
People watch me as they walk by and I don’t doubt that had Milo’s arm not been around my shoulder, a few of them would be in my face, demanding to know what kind of right I had to be there, and sitting beside a Rinaldi at that.
“Heads up,” Milo mutters in my ear. “The bitch twins are coming.”
I look toward the door to watch as Cora and Casey come walking into the church, not daring to speak to a single person. Their black glasses sit perfectly over their eyes and if I’d have to take a guess, I’d say it’s more of a fashion statement than to cover their tears.
They snub everyone who tries to say hello and I watch as they walk down the aisle, right to the front pew. “God, I hate them,” I murmur, doing my best to keep my voice low as I was perhaps a little too vocal about my distaste for the twins on the car ride here. Though luckily for me, it was only me and Milo.
“You and me both, girl,” Milo says. “I haven’t seen them for a few years but they were bitches then, and clearly bitches now.”
The girls have hardly sat down before Colton appears at the entrance of the church. The room falls silent and it’s as though he’s walking toward his throne, but I guess he kind of is. This is the official goodbye of Charles Carrington and the new reign of the Carrington heir.
Just as I knew they would be, all eyes are on him.
Colton stands tall, wearing the exact suit I had picked out for him last night, right down to the dress shirt and cufflinks. I can’t help but feel that this is some sort of message to me, maybe an apology of some sort but then there’s also a good chance that he has no recollection of the bullshit from last night. He could have rolled out of bed at the last minute as assumed one of the maids had laid it out for him. I shouldn’t think about it as it’s only going to mess with my head.
As he walks through the church, he stops and shakes hands with older men who look as though they wipe their asses with hundred dollar bills. He says a polite hello and thanks them for coming before moving on to the next person who’s waiting to feel him out and see if he’ll crack under the pressure.
I can’t help but feel that maybe something I said to him last night resonated within him as this man I’m seeing before me is not the mess I found last night. This isn’t the teenage boy who just had the world dropped on his shoulders, this is a man. A real fucking man. The kind of man who dominates during the day and has you screaming for more at night.
This is the kind of man who has me wanting a future that isn’t mine to want.
Colton rids himself of the men who are busy feeling him out and subtly shakes off the young, gold-digging women who offer him their condolences by draping themselves over him and giving him a good feel of what they have on offer, you know, as they’re saying ‘I’m sorry for your loss.’
He breaks free and starts making his way down the aisle but not before his eyes come to mine.
They’re dark and intense, certainly not the protective hazel ones that I’ve come to know. A silent message passes between us and I see his pain. He wants me there by his side but there’s no way in hell he’s about to come out and ask for it and with this crowd, I’d be a fool to go for it. There’s regret in his eyes and I wonder if it’s from the hell he put me through last night but this is his father’s funeral and it’d be selfish of me to assume his pain is for me.
I need to pull my s
hit together.
I tear my gaze away and Colton continues to the front of the aisle. He walks right up to the open casket and peers in. Every person in the church watches him. Even his sisters tear their attention away from their phones for a brief second to look up at their older brother.
The priest approaches Colton and they shake hands as I focus on keeping my ass firmly in my seat. Do not go up there, Ocean. You’re only going to make a fool of yourself.
I watch as they discuss whatever the hell needs discussing while unable to tear my eyes away from him. “Jesus,” Milo grumbles beside me. “Don’t make it so obvious that you’re into him.”
I turn my glare on Milo. “First of all, I don’t think you’re supposed to use that word in a church unless you’re singing about how much you love him.”
“Honey, the fact that I haven’t spontaneously combusted and burned to a crisp yet is already a miracle, don’t push your luck, but go on.”
I roll my eyes, ignoring his comments. “Secondly, I’m not into Colton. He’s an ass. After the bullshit he’s been putting me through, it’d be a damn miracle if he ever got close to me again. I’m just curious. I've never been to a big funeral like this.”
“For the record, if I can't say ‘Jesus’ in a church then you can’t say ‘damn,’” he tells me before dropping his arm from over my shoulder and slouching into the pew as though he’s already bored. “Has anyone ever told you that you’re a shitty liar? I could see your little lovesick puppy dog eyes from a mile away. You’re more than just into him.”
I nudge my elbow into his ribs. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Well, well, here’s trouble,” a voice says, hovering in the aisle beside the pew.
I look up to find Charlie and Spencer standing beside us. Charlie has a cheesy as fuck grin on his face—which is so not appropriate for a funeral— as he leans against the backrest of the pew while Spencer is staring off into the guests on the other side of the church. His face scrunches in distaste and I follow his line of sight to find his cousin, Jacqueline Vanderbilt, sobbing into a tissue and making a scene.
“What a fucking joke,” Spencer scoffs. “I’m going to be hearing about this shit for years. Anyone would think they were star-crossed lovers by the way she’s carrying on.”
“Maybe they were,” I tell him. “I’m pretty sure they were supposed to get hitched and honeymoon in the Maldives for the next few weeks. Poor girl, she’s probably mourning her natural suntan. Though, that’s considering his ‘business trip’ was actually for her. Who knows if he was fucking around with other girls.”
Spencer scoffs in agreement before looking back at us. “I’ll catch you guys later,” he says with a grumble.
Charlie and Milo nod while I give him a tight smile and then watch him walk away. I look back up at Charlie to find him also looking out at the guests, only unlike Spencer, he clearly can’t find who he’s looking for. “What’s up?” I ask as his brows begin to pinch.
“Have you guys seen Jude? I don’t think the fucker is here.”
“Nah, man,” Milo says as I go quiet. “Haven’t seen him in weeks.
Charlie shakes his head, disappointment wafting off him in waves. “So fucking low,” he grumbles. “You’d think he’d show up today of all days. Colton has gone out of his way to keep the guy out of trouble and the fucker can’t even show up when his friend needs him the most.”
I feel Milo’s eyes on my face and I struggle to hold it together. “He’ll show up,” I promise him, knowing damn well that my boys won’t stop searching for him until they have him buried ten feet below. Though, when that happens, I can guarantee that Charlie won’t know about it.
“Yeah,” Charlie mutters darkly. “Well when that happens, I have a few things to say to him.”
“Don’t we all,” Milo says, his voice taking on a tone that I’ve never heard from him before. He's usually so happy and chirpy, but not anymore. His joyful little heart has been awakened to the dark side and I don’t think he’ll ever be able to get back to the innocent view of the world he once had.
Charlie looks down at Milo with a question in his eyes. They hold each other’s stare for a short moment before Charlie finally looks away. “Alright, well, my parents expect me to sit with them and play happy family so I’ll catch you guys after the service.”
“Yeah, alright,” I say, giving him a sweet smile.
His eyes linger on my face and there’s a weird hesitation. I can’t help but feel like he wants to talk, and considering our past, that’s not exactly something I feel we should be doing. His gaze drops to Milo’s hand that’s happily resting in mine and his expression falters for a brief second before he finally starts walking away.
“Oh, girl,” Milo chuckles. “You’ve got problems.”
“Don’t I know it.”
“That boy is going to fall at your feet and when he does, you’re not going to be ready for it.”
“I know,” I say with a groan. “I’m going to have to break his little heart and it’s going to kill me. He’s too sweet for that.”
“Why would you have to break his heart? Charlie is the best kind of guy you could hope for around here. He’s sweet, he can fuck like a god, and he looks at you like you walk on water. Why bother waiting around for Colton when it’s probably never going to happen?”
An unimpressed grunt comes flying out of me. “Please, I’m not waiting around for Colton. Only a fool would be that stupid. Besides, he’s not exactly a knight in shining armor. He's a dick who’s intent on making my life hell.”
“Exactly. Date Charlie instead. He'll make you happy and have you screaming in the meantime.”
I scrunch up my face. The guy is good for a little fun and Milo has never been so right about the fact that he can fuck. He fucks like it’s the last thing he’ll ever do, it was incredible but … I don’t know. Something is missing. A spark? Butterflies? He doesn’t make my heart race the way Colton does and he sure as hell doesn’t mess me up.
Nic used to mess me up but the more time I spend with Colton, the more I’m beginning to forget that feeling.
The priest bows his head and steps away from Colton and just like that, the congregation quietens down. Colton looks down at his father one more time before turning and facing the crowd. His eyes settle on mine, just as they always do and within the blink of an eye, both Cora and Casey are staring at me like I’m a problem they intend to deal with.
Colton tears his gaze away and walks down to sit with his sisters who haven't stopped staring my way. “Oh, shit,” Milo mutters as the priest steps up to the podium. “Those girls are going to make your life a living hell.”
“Good luck to them,” I scoff. “It already is. There’s not much worse they could do to me that their brother hasn’t already tried.”
Milo rolls his eyes. “For the most part, Colton’s kinda been the good guy.”
“Yeah … kinda.”
The priest clears his throat. “Friends, I humbly invite you to take your seats so that we may get today's service underway.”
People start shuffling around and after a few moments, bodies begin dropping into the pews. The room becomes silent and just as I turn back to face the front, a body slides in beside me.
I glance up to give the newcomer a welcome smile but the smile never comes as my jaw falls to the floor. “What the hell are you doing here?” I whisper-yell to Nic as my eyes drop to the suit that dons his strong body.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen Nic in a suit, but I can’t even wrap my head around it because I’m still in shock to find the grinning asshole sitting beside me. “What?” he chuckles under his breath. “You think I was about to let you sit through another funeral so close after your father’s death without me? Hell no, babe.”
His hand slips into mine and he gives it a tight squeeze and for once, I welcome it like I welcome my next breath. I didn’t realize how damn much I was needing this but here he is, and I’ve never be
en so grateful. “Have I ever told you how amazing you are?” I question. He grins wide and I find my gaze dropping to his suit once again. “Do I even want to know where you got a Valentino suit?”
His grin widens and as he goes to respond, the priest's voice rings clear over the church. “Good morning and welcome to the celebration of Charles Edward Carrington, who was regretfully taken from this world late on Satur–”
BANG!
All eyes shoot to the entrance of the church as the doors violently barge open. Colton and his sister are on their feet while Nic’s hand instantly goes to the gun at his back. I dive to restrain him, knowing he’s a shoot first and think later kind of guy and I’ll be damned if Nic shot up some bastard at this funeral by accident. We’ll never live it down.
A woman appears in the doorway and strides through as though she’s a model on the Victoria Secret runway. Gasps start sounding throughout the church and before I know it, Milo is leaning into me and murmuring into my ear. “Holy fuck balls. That’s Laurelle Carrington.”
“Who?” I whisper, watching the woman as she waltzes through the church, covered head to toe in black diamonds that cover her floor-length gown. Her heels are ten inches tall while her glasses rival those of the twins.
“It’s Colton’s mom. Charles’ ex-wife.”
My eyes bug out of my head as I take her in. “No shit,” I breathe, shooting my eyes to the front of the church to take in Colton who’s gawking at his mother like he’s seeing a ghost.
She continues down the aisle and the way that she strides makes it look as though she is about to walk into a party. She makes her way right up to the golden casket with every eye in the room, silently watching her. She leans on the edge of the casket and looks down at her ex-husband. “About time someone killed you, you rotten bastard,” she says, her voice traveling far and wide through the silent church.
Colton clears his throat and his mother reluctantly steps away from the casket to join her children. Together they sit and just like that, the priest gets started on his service while the rest of the congregation continues to stare in shock.
Cocky F*ck: A Dark High School Bully Romance (Rejects Paradise Book 2) Page 7