“You say it like it’s easy.”
“It’s not,” she says bluntly. “Making it to my high school graduation was a feat on its own, and then to get myself through college while not succumbing to my family who wanted me home was the hardest thing I ever did.”
“Then you’re the one in a million. It’s not going to happen for me so you shouldn't bother wasting your time.”
“I think you’re wrong,” she tells me. “I’ve been going over your grades and reports, and while the reports are a little rough, the grades aren’t so bad. You’ve already taken the first step by distancing yourself from Breakers Flats. All you need to do is focus on your grades and I don’t see any reason why you won’t be able to attend college.”
“Okay,” I say with a laugh. “Have you considered the fact that college costs money? Say some kind of miracle occurs and I do get in, what then? How am I supposed to pay for that? I’m sure as hell not going to take any more money out of my mother’s pocket, and I’ll be damned if I was to ask one of these rich pricks for a loan.”
“It’s called a job,” she says bluntly. “I worked at Hooters for four years, six nights a week while I studied through the day and look at me now. I have a great paying job, respect from my colleagues, and was able to purchase a home. It is possible, Ocean. It’s hard work but you don’t need to be another statistic. Make something of yourself. Be the one that got out.”
I lean back in my chair, looking at the woman who wants to tear down my complete belief system. “You really think I can do it?”
“I bet you grew up thinking it was impossible to get out of Breakers Flats and look at you now. You’ve already taken the first step, but now you need to make it count.”
Well, shit. Who the hell taught her all this motivational crap? It’s dangerous. It’s making me want things that a girl like me should never be brave enough to dream about.
“I don’t know,” I tell her honestly. “My plan was to just try to keep afloat out here and find a job after graduation. I could find somewhere cheap to rent and live, trying every day to not make the kinds of decisions that would see me back in Breakers Flats with the Black Widows.”
Her brow raises. “You have connections to the Black Widows?”
A strange tension settles in the air and something tells me to keep my mouth shut about my boys. I shake my head. “No, I just … I figured that’s where I’d end up.”
“Oh, I see,” she says. “My brother is a Wolf and would have a heart attack if he thought I was trying to help out a Widow.”
I laugh as I try to figure out who could possibly be her brother. “Oh, no. I’ve always tried to keep away from the gangs. I’ve already lost my father, I don't need to lose anything else.”
Her brows furrow and she leans forward to look over her papers. “Wait. Munroe?” she says, thoughtful. “What was your father's name?”
Unease settles into me but I can’t find a good excuse not to tell her. After all, she could probably just look it up. “His name was Louis.”
“Louis Munroe,” she says, her eyes sparkling with excitement. “Your dad was Big Lou?”
I shake my head. “Umm, no … I think you’ve got him confused with someone else. It’s a very common name.”
“No,” she says. “He was good friends with my father. I remember him saying he had a daughter your age. Why didn’t you say you had connections to the Wolves? I would have had your college applications already filled out and sent off the day you arrived.”
My brows furrow. “Okay ... you’ve really got your wires crossed. I’m certainly not a Wolf and my father wasn’t affiliated with any gangs.”
Confusion twists her features. “Are you sure?”
“I’m certain.”
“Oh, sorry. I just … I guess I assumed.”
I shrug my shoulders and give her a small smile while I’m dying on the inside. I need to get to Nic and I need to ask what the hell he knows. There’s no way my father was a Wolf because that would make me one of them and that’s just not possible. If I was one of them then my boys … fuck. I need to work this out.
“Alright, enough of that,” she says, moving along. “Tell me what you’d like to do with yourself. Do you have any idea what field you’d like to move into or what you’d want to study if you get into college?”
“I, umm …” I try to bring my mind back to the present, but I'm stuck filtering through every last thing I know about my dad and I end up looking back up at her, feeling way out of my depth. “I actually have no idea,” I tell her. “I guess I’ve never actually had to think about it before.”
“Okay, that’s perfectly fine,” she says. “Why don’t you think about it over the next few days and come back to me when you’ve worked it out. Then we can start making a plan for your future. How does that sound?”
She gives me a warm smile and just like that, my whole world has been tipped upside down.
By the time I’m walking through the door after school I’m an absolute mess. I don’t know if I should be thinking about my future, my dad, my fucked up relationship with Colton, or if I should be calling Nic to ask what he knows. But then that’s probably just going to cause even more problems. What I should really be doing is sitting down with mom and asking her about it. If anyone around here is going to know what dad was into, it'd be her, right? She’s always tried to steer me clear of the Black Widows. Perhaps there’s more to it than just wanting me away from my crew.
My mind is so clouded with the endless thoughts that I don’t even notice Jacqueline Vanderbilt loitering in the foyer until it’s already too late. “You there,” she calls, looking down at me as my head snaps up. “I have been waiting for twenty minutes. Where is Colton Carrington?”
My face scrunches up in distaste. “How should I know?” I demand, looking at the evil witch who thought she was going to get away with inheritance fraud. Considering she’s happily standing here, I’m assuming she still thinks she’s about to race off into the sunset with Charles’ buckets of cash. “You literally just saw me walk through the door. Am I supposed to be able to read minds?”
“You work here, don’t you?” she demands before letting out a frustrated sigh. “Are you stupid? Go and find him.”
“Fuck you,” I snap. “I’m not on the clock. Go and find him yourself, you daft bitch.”
Her eyes bug out of her head and her palm instantly races toward my face, but I’m ready for it. The girls around here only come equipped with the one move. My fingers curl around her wrist and I hold her hand up, refusing to let go. “I wouldn’t if I were you,” I taunt. “I could fuck you up a million different ways before you even knew what was happening.”
“Release me now,” she spits through clenched teeth. “Or I swear to God, when I take over this place, your little bitch ass will be the first to go.”
A grin spreads wide across my face and I step into her, watching as her eyes widen in fear. She tries to back up, but I move right along with her. “I dare you to try,” I beg of her. “Today is the day you do not want to mess with me.”
Jaqueline sucks in a deep breath but luckily keeps her mouth closed, and upon realizing that she doesn’t have a leg to stand on, I finally start to back off. My fingers slowly uncurl from her wrist and by the time I step back and allow her the chance to breathe, a throat clears behind me. “Miss Vanderbilt,” Harrison says, pleasantly pretending as though he didn’t just witness me threatening one of our guests. “Please take a seat in the living area. Mr. Carrington will be with you in a brief moment.”
Jaqueline huffs and turns so quickly on her heel that her hair whips across my face and I resist the urge to grab hold of it and tear out her fake extensions. She stalks off to the living room and I glare after her before turning and slamming straight into a solid wall of muscle.
Colton catches me as I rebound off his chest and I scrunch up my face, feeling pain tear through my poor little nose. “What the hell are you doing?” I demand, grabbing hold
of my nose as Colton’s skin burns against my arms. “What kind of idiot creeps up behind a girl?”
“Fuck, Jade,” he says, his eyes filled with concern. “Are you okay?”
I pull out of his reach and will my eyes not to well up as the pain rockets through me. I’m going to be okay. I’m going to be okay. Do not cry in front of him.
“I’m fine, but why do you care? Afraid I’m going to sue you for a new nose?”
“Jade,” he says, his voice lowering with concern.
I shake my head in disappointment, but as I go to walk away a knock sounds at the door. Colton quickly glances around before looking over my shoulder at the living room, finding no trace of Harrison. He cringes. “Am I way out of line to ask you to get that?”
“Are you fucking kidding me?”
“Please, babe. I have to deal with Jacqueline and trust me, you’re going to want to see this.”
I let out a groan and start making my way to the door, hoping to God that I don’t have a bleeding nose. I look back over my shoulder to find Colton making his way toward the living room, and as if sensing my gaze on him, he looks back at me with raw emotion pulsing through his heavy stare.
God. Why does he make it so hard to hate him?
I look back to the door and keep my eyes glued there until my hand curls around the handle and I tear it open. I stare ahead, slightly confused with my heart racing. If these guys showed up on my doorstep in Breakers Flats, it could only mean that someone was dead, or that someone was about to be. Though, considering Jacqueline Vanderbilt is in the other room, it’s all pretty clear.
“Ma’am,” the officer on the right says, probably being the first person in my whole life to address me that way. “My name is Officer Laney. We were called to assist Mr. Carrington.”
Well, well. Maybe Colton was right, I really don’t want to miss this.
I step out of the way and wave them through before pointing out the living room. They’re quick to jump into action and start making their way toward it with me being far too nosey for my own good and following behind them.
I step into the living room just in time to watch the smug grin on Jacqueline's face drop in horror, realizing that she’s been caught.
Fuck yes. That was so damn satisfying.
She quickly pulls herself together. “What is the meaning of this?” she demands, waving her hand toward the police. “This is a private matter.”
Colton laughs, his eyes briefly flicking toward me. “You really thought that you’d get away with this?” he questions. “I’m Colton Fucking Carrington. Bitches like you have been trying to weasel your way into my father’s bank account for years. You’re a snake and you’ll never get your hands on a single dime, but it’s okay, you won’t be needing it where you’re going.”
Her eyes bug out of her head and a laugh bubbles up my throat. Jacqueline shoots her nasty glare at me. “You think this is funny?”
“Yeah, actually, I do,” I tell her, making a show of pulling out my phone. “You’re a fraud who took advantage of Colton while he’s trying to grieve for his lost father. You’re getting exactly what you deserve, but it’s going to be even funnier recording you getting arrested. Do me a favor and make it super dramatic. Throw in some squeals and maybe those crocodile tears that I bet you’re so good at. It'll make great footage for all my social media accounts. I wonder if it will go viral?” I pause for a brief moment, scoffing at my own idiocy. “Duh. Of course it will. This is Charles Carrington we’re talking about. I bet I could sell it for a good price too.”
A high-pitched squeal comes tearing out of her and she runs at me, claws out and ready to go. The two cops dive for her and I quickly hit record. “This is great, by the way,” I say as she screams while making sure to keep Colton’s face off camera. “Keep up the good work.”
Jacqueline is handcuffed and as she’s pulled away, Officer Laney begins reading her rights. She’s taken outside and we follow the cops to the door, watching as they start carting her downstairs and then all too soon, the door is closed and Colton and I are left standing in the quiet foyer, neither of us knowing what the hell to say.
I look up at him, meeting the eyes that make my heart both race and break at the same damn time. His stare softens and is quickly filled with regret. Although I’m desperate for some kind of apology and to feel him pull me into his arms, I simply don’t have the strength to deal with it right now. So, I do what any other self-respecting girl would do and walk away.
Chapter 19
I stare up at the graying clouds above as I lay in the thick, manicured grass of the Carrington property. I don’t know how the hell Charles managed to make the grass this damn soft, but it’s no surprise that he was so proud of it. Well, to be honest, the softness of the grass probably has absolutely nothing to do with him. He probably didn’t know the first thing about taking care of the lawn, but he certainly took the credit for it.
Back home, our grass was always brown and kinda prickly and the thought of lying in it sends chills racing down my spine. I think this is the first time in my life that I’ve ever voluntarily laid in the grass and I’m really starting to see the appeal.
The past month has been hell. I’ve suffered through all sorts of shit from the people of Bellevue Springs, things that no seventeen-year-old girl should ever have to face. If I could do it all over again, I think I’d try harder to talk Mom out of coming here, but she’s so damn happy here. How could I have been the reason she missed out on that?
Mom knows most of the bullshit that’s been going on, but if I were to tell her about Jude, she’d pack us up and leave. One part of me screams for it, screams to be released from this hell, to be somewhere that I won’t have the constant reminder of what he did to me ... but the other part, the part that desperately wants to be accepted, that part of me won’t let me leave.
To be honest, Colton is a massive part of that too.
If I were a smart girl, I would have been out of here after I was cornered by those boys and had acidic grease poured all over me. Hell, if I were smart, I would have left after the first time that Jude welcomed himself into my room. I thought I was stronger. I thought that I could handle it, but I was wrong—so fucking wrong. I knew Jude was a predator and I knew he had me in his sights. Walking out to the pool area was a bad move, but allowing myself to be out there alone, that was just stupid.
The greying clouds become darker and soon cover the late afternoon sky, making it appear later in the evening that what it really is. My eyes close and I take a few deep breaths, trying to release all the tortuous thoughts from my mind. I’ve been holding onto so much anger and I’m getting closer and closer to the edge. I’m eventually going to break and I don’t even want to be around me when that happens.
I take a slow breath in, hold it for two, and then let it out.
Repeat.
And again.
With each breath I blow out, I let go of something that’s been weighing me down. The frustration of Nic’s protectiveness, the pain at having to let down Charlie, and the way I miss both my crew and the ridiculous boys at BSA. But most of all, I want to let go of the hurt of Colton’s rejection, it’s just going to take a little more than a few calming breaths to completely lose that pain. His public rejection cut deep but that’s on me. I saw it coming and still dove headfirst, practically begging for it.
I go over my new little ritual at least thirty times before I hear thunder rumbling in the distance and for some reason, it’s soothing as hell. Is this what it’s like to meditate? I don’t know, I can’t say I’ve ever tried it before, but if this is it, I completely understand it. I’m chilled the fuck out. Colton can come at me with his bullshit right now and I’d just smile and wave until he walked his fine ass away.
Nothing can destroy this moment.
For the first time since being here, I feel refreshed. I might even read another book tonight or hell, maybe I’ll just stay here until the clouds pass and watch the sky move along
until the stars come out to play.
The weight on my shoulders seems to have disappeared but I know the second I get back to real life, it’ll all start pressing down on me again, so damn it, I’m going to enjoy this brief moment of freedom while I can.
The first raindrops begin to fall and I cringe as they splash on my face. I don't want this to end. I could stay here forever and live a happy life.
What’s the harm? It’s only a little water.
The soft rainfall splashes down around me until a loud crack of lightning flashes through the sky. Thunder rumbles through Bellevue Springs and within seconds, the rain comes pouring.
My clothes are soaked through within moments and the chill quickly begins seeping through to my bones but I don’t dare move, I just continue lying in the grass, soaking in the moment.
There's something refreshing about being out in the rain. I don’t even think that I can explain it. It's just me being one with nature and maybe that makes me sound kinda crazy, but I don't care—at least not right now. I’ll probably be a little pissed with my decision come tomorrow when my nose is all stuffy and I’m running a fever. For now, I’m chilling and I fucking love it.
Ten minutes pass before I hear him.
Get fucked. Why is he always around to ruin something good?
Colton storms up to me and doesn’t even give me a chance to pull away before he grabs hold of me and somehow pulls me right up from the grass and over his shoulder. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” He demands as he madly dashes back to the house. “Are you insane or just stupid? Can’t you tell it’s fucking pouring down with rain?”
I start kicking my legs and slamming my hands down over his back as water rushes off me. “Put me down, asshole. I was enjoying myself.”
“Enjoy yourself inside like the rest of the human population does when it’s raining.”
“Fuck you.”
“Fuck you right back, Jade.” Anger rests heavy in his tone which only manages to piss me off more. He doesn’t have the right to be angry with me. I didn’t do anything wrong. He’s the one who drew me in, made Mom gush about how incredible he is, and then pushed me away the second someone was going to find out about us. Us? Were we even an ‘us’? He certainly had no issues telling my mom we were together without actually consulting me about that first.
Cocky F*ck: A Dark High School Bully Romance (Rejects Paradise Book 2) Page 20